You are Gordon Brown

And please don't just say 'resign' or 'kill myself'.

Drive to military base and demand to speak to the alien.

Two chicks at the same time.

Buy a ranch and go there for a 4 month holiday. Then work for a week, then go on holiday for 4 months again. (it works for that other G(w)B, so why not?)

OMG
Gordon Brown : G.B.
George Bush: G.B.

Goo Blar for ILX presidetn?

George Bluth! But which one?

OK, apart from the aliens and the chicks and the ability to take long holidays (none of which I think will appeal to the new PM - ok maybe the aliens) there's a whole lot of problems to deal with. How to deal?

Dammit, I wanted to say "kill myself".

I knew you would, that's why I said it.

Anyway, not least of his problem's, is this one. Which may well make him feel like killing himself.

Maybe if he had a soul.

Introduce a bill in the Commons to bring sexy back.

C4 news have had a number of "experts" addressing this v question recently.

One said never ever use the phrase "war on terror". I think that's a good start....

Get out of everything Europe-related or completely join in, but quit this "we're in, but we need exceptions to every rule" crap.

Also nobody say "call an election" like everyone on Have Your Say is saying. I'm so tired of the whining about that.

lol tories

Call an election

(He'd win one if he held it now, he won't two years from now)

He might yet. Cameron's peaked. It's Brown's to lose now.

An early election would be great though, catch the fuckers unawares, sharp toecap in the goolies, LOSERS! LOSERS! *make 'L' shape on forehead*

My Grandad used to theorize that if we'd hung the fuckers in 1964 we wouldn't have this problem any more.

An early election would force some or all of the Tories to show their colours.

Gordon's a smart cookie when it comes to elections too

Dear Gordy

Bent backwoods Tories jumping ship /= good thing

kthxby

Added: Wednesday, 27 June, 2007, 06:48 GMT 07:48 UK

I would like Gordon Brown to resign and take all the other Scottish members of parliament out of my governing body immediately.

Peter, Kegworth

Recommended by 159 people

I think Gordon should make his entire cabinet Scottish, just to annoy people

have a wank. go back to sleep.

Increase spending on Trident, rename it Tetradent.

and also have a wank, obv.

he said Gordon Brown, not Gordon Sumner.

That would be a tantric wank, that lasted 8 hours.

aye, well. you'd need to go back to sleep after that.

Doesn't a PM get, like, servants for that kind of thing? (not the going back to sleep afterwards part)

No, just royalty ALLEGEDLY.

(He'd win one if he held it now, he won't two years from now)

-- Tom D., Thursday, June 28, 2007 8:51 AM

there you have it. still think spring is the more likely

if mclarens distancer from erikson was beckham, then what do you think browns distancer from blair will be?

iraq? but such a fuck you to bush so early on seems unlikely

It has to be Iraq, what else is there?

Hunting?

Relations with the US, if not a complete Iraq withdrawal there'll be something of a symbolic "fuck you" to America.

but such a fuck you to bush so early on seems unlikely

Bush is on his way out anyway, so everyone's saying fuck you to Bush these days - well apart from Bum Boy Blair

1. Call election like RIGHT AWAY. They're always on a Thursday, you've got one week fuckers. Vote me!
2. Do something about education other than say the word "education" repeatedly.
3. Stop letting budget managers tell me how to run services (this will be a tough change in philosophy for Big Budget Manager 97-07 but I think I can pull it off).
4. Provide detailed and comprehensive answer to the West Lothian Question, suggest something along the lines of "Fuck you you English wankers we've suffered under English rule for fucking ever! Get it right up ye!"
5. Offer George Galloway a square go.
6. Introduce performance related pay and incentives for MPs, see how they fucking like it.
7. Have a wank.

What is the West Lothian Question? I do not know coz I am not Scottish.

You're English, so you should know about, it's you bastids who are always on about it

FYI: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/West_Lothian_Question

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/West_Lothian_Question

Basically saying that Scottish MPs shouldn't be able to affect English constituencies by voting on England only issues. This is growing legs now that the Secret Scottish Cabal has taken over government.

Funny how the Poll Tax Question (how can Thatcher (English) and Howard (English) impose an unfair and divisive tax *only* in Scotland?) was never an issue for these cunts.

make all work experience kids to go work on nuclear missiles for no money.. thus vastly decrease spending.

Trident for Trident.

solution to WLQ: abolish House of Lords and use chamber for an English parliament.

Also funny how it's (so-called) Unionists who are forever bringing up the WLQ - don't they believe in a British parliament then?

Also: he should block the Spice Girls reunion.

An English Parliament (if it had the same devolved power as the Scottish one) would kind of make the Commons redundant on a whole lot of issues. I don't think Brown's too keen on doing himself out of a job he's waited a lifetime for.

Also: he should block the Spice Girls reunion.

There's a new post for Margaret Beckett there surely

It's fairly obvious that "Unionist" these days means "Happy to stay in it as long as the English are in charge of it" - maybe it always did.

Also: he should block the Spice Girls reunion.

OTM KEY ISSUE

It's fairly obvious that "Unionist" these days means "Happy to stay in it as long as the English are in charge of it" - maybe it always did.

In England it did. It was those stupid fuckers in Scotland and Norn Iron who thought it meant something else.

There's a new post for Margaret Beckett there surely

Wrinkly Spice?

Have Carole Caplin permanently deported to Tristan de Cunha.

have anyone making 'Golden Brown' jokes in 2007 executed.

...and Jilted John jokes?

and any flashers?

pick out your next door neighbour on the basis of eyebrows.

So this what he's doing first off...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/6247502.stm

Prime minister: Gordon Brown
Chancellor: Alistair Darling (tipped)
Foreign Secretary: David Miliband
Home Secretary: Jacqui Smith
Health: Alan Johnson
Schools and children: Ed Balls (tipped)
Justice: Jack Straw (tipped)
Commons leader: Harriet Harman (tipped)
Defence Des Browne (tipped)
Int Development: Douglas Alexander
Work and Pensions: Peter Hain
Northern Ireland: To be confirmed
Cabinet office minister: Ed Miliband (tipped)
Culture: James Purnell (tipped)
Transport: Ruth Kelly
Lords leader: To be confirmed
Environment: Hilary Benn (tipped)
Chief Whip: Geoff Hoon (tipped)
Industry: John Hutton
Duchy of Lancaster: To be confirmed
Communities: To be confirmed

Blears for Communities apparently?

We're discussing that over here: TEEBEE->GEEBEE Clockwatch

Thanks Ed.

Balls (tipped)

What is all this "tipped" business? Is this an ancient initiation ritual where new ministers have to be held upside down and dunked in a bucket of custard and/or shaving foam?

ancient = every student halls election ritual ever.

is that true, just got tipped?

offed, surely?

Department of Poppage

Brown Balls Darling is an unfortunate front bench methinks.

There's a new post for Margaret Beckett there surely

Wrinkly Spice?

-- Grandpont Genie,

Mark, come on! You missed the most obvious joke in the world!
[Anna performs Public Service Joke]

There's a new post for Margaret Beckett there surely

Old Spice.

This should really be a "Choose Your Own Adventure" book

Dammit Gordon, not a good start.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/6246448.stm

Should the Spice Girls reform?

Yes, spice up our lives!
40.54%
No, zig-a-zig-argh!
59.46%

10045 Votes Cast

Come on Gordon, the people have spoken!

lol digby jones

remember when it was like 'when brown gets in i'll be back to real labour' rofl.

I suspect one of Brown's early actions as PM will be something that symbolically plays well to the old Labour crowds though, possibly making Alistair Darling cut taper relief for private equity firms. Despite this being a policy Brown initiated in the first place.

did john cruddas get any crumbs?

he turned down a job, apparently.

Taking out the bins at No. 10 is not that much of a job to turn down

It seems it was housing.

This is what the Guardian suggested as Brown's cabinet last september.

Prime minister Gordon Brown
Deputy leader and leader of the house Alan Johnson
Chancellor Alistair Darling
Foreign Office David Miliband
Home Office Des Browne
Lord chancellor Jack Straw
Party chairman and Scotland Douglas Alexander
Trade and industry Ed Balls
Health Harriet Harman
Environment Hilary Benn
Northern Ireland Ed Miliband
Wales Kim Howells
Leader of the Lords Lord Kinnock
Education Yvette Cooper
Communities Dawn Primarolo
Work and pensions John Denham
Defence Stephen Timms
Transport Ruth Kelly
Culture Geoff Hoon
Cabinet office minister Andy Burnham
Chief whip Nick Brown
Chief secretary to the Treasury John Healey

So how is Mr. Brown going to perfrom the delicate operation of detaching US Iraq policy from where it is joined to the UK at the hip? The Oregonian newspaper has not showed much interest in covering this question.

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/44436000/jpg/_44436100_comedians_get.jpg

In an interview with Jeremy Vine for the Radio Times, Mr Forsyth said: "Prime minister's questions, that's two guys getting it on there. At times it's pure variety, pure vaudeville.

"It's all the people I used to work with, Frankie Howerd and Les Dawson. I love it, that's why I tape it. Last week I forgot, and I was furious for the rest of the day."

You wake up this morning and find yourself Prime Minister. What do you do?

look in the mirror and thank God I'm not David Cameron.

8. Stop doing that thing my with lower jaw.

yep, the "here's where I'm really taking the piss" expression.

look in the mirror and thank God I'm not David Cameron.

....but Cameron's better looking than Brown *ducks*

Is he?

T/S:

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t223/ifiwasagecko/Never%20A%20Frown%20With%20Gordon%20Brown/freckly_gordon_brown.jpg

vs.

http://rafaelbehr.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/bully_1.jpg

I would sit in my office eating Wheat Crunchies all day listening to "Damn, it Feels Good to Be a Gangsta" by the Geto Boys.