X Factor 2007, painful showoffs, blah blah blah

They're not even pretending to not be pushing Aston anymore. And I think Aston might have just noticed.

I think the singer is really creepy looking.

Jeff Brazier being jostled by overenthusiastic JLS fans is nearly as funny as all the "we love you Eoghan" screamy Beatlemania girls.

oh the magic of TV - there must be two dozen people there and they make it look like thousands! Mostly by the expedient of JB jumping up and down going "woooaaahh!!!"

who is Jeff Brazier?

He used to go out with Jade Goody, didn't he? Or something.

I don't think he even knows himself...
meanwhile, that mid 70's Tina Turner hair is distracting

Bloke who made Jade Goody a mother.
xpost

poor guy.

apply for X Factor 2009 so that Cowell can own your arse worldwide and throughout the solar system!

pretty great that it took about ten rejects before anyone noticed they were a bar ahead. And even then I think they just got lucky. Without that it would've just been tiresome, but that was incompetence at its finest.

Alexandra wins by five million votes, obv., although JLS seemed better to me tonight than they have before. Eoghan to wonder why he got fewer votes than there are people in his family, surely.

Ah, but you see, now that everyone in Northern Ireland hasn't got Christine Bleakley to vote for, they all get to vote for Eoghan instead.

damn, Saturday night TV is rubbish in the UK - best thing seems to be a newly colourised episode of Dad's Army

that is why i am watching breakdancing videos on youtube

It's lucky that Girls Aloud aren't contestants on X Factor, because they would have been voted off weeks ago.

ALAN HANSEN WANTS YOU TO EAT PRAWNS

You can tell it's near Christmas because there's a new Lee Evans DVD out.

...and a SASH! album that sounds the same as all his other albums

why does everything these days have to be advertised with SO! MUCH! HYPE!

Are you complaining that the Clubland advert was a bit loud?

http://www.adliterate.com/archives/VW_ThinkSmall.jpg

I'm complaining that everything these days is advertised as being like the second coming.

Does Beyonce have a portable wind machine that she takes around everywhere with her? I don't think I've ever seen her perform without looking like she's in a wind tunnel.

She's nothing without Dave Arch And His Fantastic Orchestra.

But she has proper rock chicks being all rockin' and that. They've got dreadlocks and everything, in case you didn't realise how rockin' these chicks are.

That is the cheapest Les Paul copy I've ever seen...

If Michael Underwood has any sense, he'll have got out of that hall before they announce Eoghan is third and a riot kicks off...

"could be the Christmas #1" - O'Leary you know nothing about the music industry and advance orders...

Now it's "let's see who ruins Hallelujah least".

I smell key change.

And a gospel choir!

it was OK up until this point...

Does this song actually have lyrics anymore? I honestly can't tell.

surprisingly they sung the "shoot someone" verse

I can confidently predict that Alexandra will introduce several extraneous vowels and syllables into the word Hallelujah at least twice.

Aston is starting to fancy this solo lark.

Also, he was kind of inaudible at the start.

Halalalallalalalaleee-eee-ee-eeeee-lu-oo-oo-oooo-oo-jah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

Remarkably restrained thus far. The wibbling can't be far off.

overthrew ya-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa

Oh God STOP IT. MAKE IT GO AWAY.

This feels like a far right rally directed by Riefenstahl

Odd - BBC's already got a report up on Eoghan finishing third, but nothing on Strictly...

Pretending it didn't happen, and they didn't cock up?

Simon Bates advertises the Mail on Sunday? Whoever would have thought it?

I'm quite pleased with myself for getting this far without a WHAT THE HELL IS ALEXANDRA WEARING comment. But I can't hold back any more. She's wearing a fucking gold lamé blanket held on with gaffer tape.

I'm still distracted by her hair...

I never want to hear her version of Hallelujah ever again, so might have to throw my telly and radio out of the window.

Alexandra is determined to throw ALL of her dignity away tonight, right?

And Alexandra has won. She can't form any words at this moment in time.