Salary Insecurity

"Go fuck yourself, sell-out."

grabbing their nuts and squeezing?

You probably have better benefits and more job security than them, so you can also throw that in their faces and say "nyah"

I usually just tell them I'm happy with what I earn. It's fine, thanks. Yes, I know I could earn more in the private sector, but I don't really care.

I wouldn't even argue about stuff like benefits or workloads or anything, because you'll always get some smartarse who tries to convince you that they do fuck all work for huge money. But they can't argue with you if you say you're happy and it's all fine.

I like accentmonkey's answer. I have a traditionally lower paying job (but actually do just fine), and I've never had a family member or random acquaintance make a negative comment about my salary. Who are these people? They suck.

You probably have better benefits and more job security than them, so you can also throw that in their faces and say "nyah"

until there's a taxpayer's revolt, a la 1970s california. which, in our neck of the woods (i.e., new jersey), is (an admittedly small) possibility w/ our insane property tax bills.

"yeah, but I LIKE my job, so there."

At the end of the day, it's about my own happiness, not someone's judgement about whether I earn enough. Where is the barrier anyway? Is 2000 dollars per month enough to guarantee happiness? Also, your mother.

i presume this is people meaning well rather than pointing sticks. if so, the way to approach this is probably a) emphasis of job satisfaction, but also perhaps more importantly, b) job security. and also perhaps that public sector jobs can provide a lot of benefits as well as security in comparison to private sector jobs

It's more the attitude based around the difference in salaries between the same job in Public and Private sectors.

I usually present it thusly.

I work in hospital, I was on the SCBU the other day, I'm a part of that.

Your company makes biscuits...

mmm ginger snaps

Also, your mother.

Nath's argument is not to be underestimated. I believe Iran is currently using it to great effect concerning its nuclear programme.

"We have the right to develop our own nuclear energy. Also, your mother."

Hah! Personally I choose my friends wisely: they all earn less than me. ;-) Actually I have never really had someone question my salary. I don't think they have any say in the matter, nor do/would I tell'em how much I earn.

I was kidding about my friends. I never ask and expect that they never in return ask me. I think, in fact, it's a bit rude to judge someone else's choices in these matters.

I totally agree. But it's amazing how, if you're working in the public sector or for an NGO or similar, people feel like they have the right to poke fun at your salary. People used to do it all the time to me when I worked in Oxfam. It's most irritating.

Who are these people?

It's been mostly my family, who are questioning how I am going to make a living, which is a bit odd, since they didn't raise any concerns at the start of my degree program.

Also, this past weekend, my cousin asked me with a negative look on her face: "And how's the salary? And good?" and then the next day my mom's friend asked me how the salary was and then said it was okay I could eat ramen for first couple of years. That she said this in front of my mom, who is already worried, didn't help matters.

Are you just starting out in your first job? Their concern might be based more on their worry about whether or not you'll be able manage. Once you get out there and manage for a couple of years (assuming you do) they'll probably lay off.

If this is the situation I think it's a bit different than people questioning someone who's been working for several years and is content with their, perhaps lower, standard of living.

It's not my first job, but it's my first job in this field, and all of these doubting Thomases are shaking my confidence.

what field? (just curious)

Turn your ears off when they start in. Or yeah, maybe do a search on Miss Manners columns. I'm sure she's addressed it.

Ultimately it's your life and you know what will make you happy.

Library science.

Thanks for the advice, everyone. This helps. Also, my horoscope says: "Don't accept the status quo if you want something else."

Sure, I come up a little short sometimes at the end of the month, but my side job selling crank to the neighborhood kids usually sees me through.

seven months in london and i still have no idea if my salary is, relatively speaking, any good or not. it's liberating!

Since it is mostly your family that is doing this, I regret to tell you that there is no known way to divert them, aside from letting them exhaust themselves against the rock of your obduracy until they quit from a sense of the futility of their efforts.

Family members often feel entitled to cross boundaries of privacy and good manners that no one else would dare to cross. Just smile and assure them you are contented with your choice and feel certain you will remain contented. Repeat as often as necessary.

Try not to get trapped into extending your defense. If your parents in particular insist on digging at you, it is entirely possible to say that, as much as you love them, you are now an adult. You have accepted this fact and you hope they can understand that, as an adult you must make your own decisions, based on your own judgment. To do anything else would be to forfeit your responsibility to yourself. Then say you are contented with your choice and feel certain you will remain contented. Then smile and change the subject.

Ultimately it's your life and you know what will make you happy.

Right. And you know what you need to get by every month. Pay no attention to them, they're just worrying. Don't let them shake you if this is what you want to do. They have no secret information about how much your life costs that you don't have. Don't let them suck you into arguments about it.

Surely a library science degree would have applications in other more lucrative fields. With all the efforts to get large amounts of information on the web, there must be plentiful opportunities in the private sector. Assuming this is true, you could do some research about other uses for the degree and be able to explain that there is a plan B if the more traditional avenues of employment don't work out. It might placate your family members a bit and give you some peace of mind too.

ask them what their husband does and how their property's been appreciating since they moved to butt fucking egypt. also did you hear that two people die every day on the road he takes to work?

what the fuck do people think their kids make these days
it ain't exactly a postwar cornucopia they raised us in

Unless you owe them money or they have cosigned for you, what you make is really none of their business. Laughingly tell them your plan B is to marry some rich, decrepitly old person (adding "like Uncle X did", if there's a valid family connection) and change the subject. If you do owe them or they are a cosigner, take them aside privately and have a business meeting where you lay out your budget and your payback plan (if necessary). Keep it all business, and if they bring it up again in front of others, smilingly remind them you have a business arrangement and change the subject.

31 days annual leave plus 11 bank holidays plus time off in lieu for all my overtime plus redundancy is practically impossible plus I REALLY LIKE MY JOB seems to work OK for me. It helps that I've had fairly stupid big salary in a private sector job before and nobody's ever going to convince me that it's worth it if you don't value what you do.

A discussion like this would turn me into Ms La La La Not Listening, I have to say.

<i>Surely a library science degree would have applications in other more lucrative fields.</i>

This is why my sister wants me to work for Google. Assuming I have any skills they could make use of (doubtful) I do not want to work in an office park. Oh, and my across-the-street neighbor wants me to work for the Dep@rtment of Homel@nd Security.

"I don't need the money."
"Much less stress."
"Less chance of getting fired."
"I like my job, so..."

Google's main campus is the old SGI building. It's definitely on the nicer end of the cubical continuum.

WTF people actually ask about or comment on your salary? I've been working for five years and never once have I been asked what I'm earning, or even had it commented upon. I'd kind of assumed it was a big social faux-pas.

in the UK this question is weird for two reasons: what matt said and also public sector pensions/package piss all over private.

I don't get this either - people I know who work in public sector/NGO earn way more than I do!

xxpost What Matt DC said. Then again, I once asked my Japanes friend what her husband did for a living and she said that was a terrible faux-pas. WAH? I was rather shocked when she threw me that reply in the face. But she did say what he did but added that many people looked down upon said job and that I never should say "salary man." Uh, I didn't and would never.

Public sector pension is extremely good in Belgium as well, but the salary itself is lousy - depending on what you do, it can be +20 procent less than in a private sector. Then again you really have to fuck up to be thrown out (so it has been said, wouldn't know myself) so once you're "in"...

You probably have better benefits and more job security than them, so you can also throw that in their faces and say "nyah"

So OTM. That's the reason I'm so jealous of people in public service. That and a clearer decision making process (though I'm probably wrong about this). Also, no shareholders having a say!

Also Matt is right, who the fuck outside of an Easton Ellis novel actually asks this!?

I've always earned pitiful money in the public sector in W. Aust. I don't think anyone's ever mentioned it to me... I suspect they just took it for granted that that was par for the course and how I would live my life, being poor kind of suits me. Mwahaha I'm moving to a boutique commercial litigation firm in Feb and then I'll be raking it in so maybe they were wrong. I'll probably spend it all on books about vegetable gardening so eh. Why would you give a shit about what other people think of your pay anyway? What kind of person asks you something like that? I wouldn't have the foggiest what any of my mates earn

a clearer decision making process

I'm confused. A clearer decision making process in the public sector?!?

haha indeed. no shareholders but numerous 'stakeholders'.

i think people ask, i have asked and been asked on occasion and not thought it weird. i have only done so if appropriate to conversation or it has some kind of relevancy though (or they do something interesting and i am interested)

stuff like this thread is making me revise my opinion on that though

Well, my family is asking because (perhaps) they are afraid I will remain dependent upon them forever. Extended family/neighbors are asking because they have no tact/they are curious/are interested in the "cost of living" index. Extended family/neighbors are not asking for an exact number--but are asking questions in a leading way about what my "quality of life" will be. Also, throw into the mix that I am moving to NYC, which certain people feel to be improbably expensive, not taking into consideration outer-borough living. This is also a problem in the library world--I've had conversations with classmates who want to work as corporate or academic librarians and they state that money is a major motivating factor in their decision (which is fine for them, but I feel in turn they are questioning/rubbishing my decision). Also, at my internship at an academic library everyone stated how much better the money is in academic and how much I would struggle if I moved to NYC. And, it's really not that much better, as far as I can tell. Maybe I am too sensitive. But they are the ones who are always bringing up money!

Where do you live now? NYC could be freaking them out more than your actual job.

i don't think it's too unusual for family to ask, specially if they're funding you. close friends too, why not? otherwise, the english put a big taboo on talking about it, but it's kind of silly coz it's pretty obvious when someone has money and when they don't.

I live in Northern Virginia, though I've lived in NYC before. Yeah, it's the NYC/librarian combo that seems to be doing people's heads in.

sounds scrumptious

I researched a response: "If you will forgive me for not answering that question, I will forgive you for asking it."

Gah, all of my coworkers are asking me how the salary is adjusted for "cost of living." Is there anything I can say, besides, it's not, really.

Just lie through your teeth and say "really really well" and make them green w/ envy. Are you going to be seeing them after you move away and start your fantastic new job and fantastic new life?

Just mention to them that cost of living in Queens is lower than it is in NoVa.

^^^ think thats your answer, right there

hypothetically speaking, what is the minimum salary you would demand to work at a college of dentistry, if you were deathly afraid of dentist?

I keep reading this as Salad Insecurity.

maybe if you made more money you could afford GOOD cucumbers

Just iceberg lettuce. . .so sad.

i have to used my neighbor's grass in my salads but damnit i like my job.

my ex used to use caramelized pecans and make the dressing from scratch you worthless little man

<i>hypothetically speaking, what is the minimum salary you would demand to work at a college of dentistry, if you were deathly afraid of dentist?</i>

If free work by dental students was included, could end up saving a lot in dental bills.

Thanks everyone. I feel less insecure about my salary now. Hopefully from now on I can focus my insecurities on more meaningful targets.

i want a post-war cornucopia. a big horn o'plenty with guns and ammo and knives and bombs and shit.

i don't understand this thread, given that you've already lived here under much less stable conditions.