Where do you look when you're talking to somebody?

in the spot between the eyebrows

anti-unibrowist

I don't know where I look. Maybe not at the person.

If she has large breasts, I look at her face, as long as I am concentrating. As soon as I stop concentrating, I automatically lower my gaze. Oh, it is shameful.

I have great trouble looking ppl in the eye when I talk to them, to the point I become painfully aware I am not looking at them and then I stare at them untowardly, and then get embarrased about that, lather rinse repeat. I'm terrible.

In business/work interaction I try to look at the irises.

In casual interaction I tend to look in the general face area.

When I'm in *serious self-disclosure* mode, being *really honest* about something with someone, I will look at anything and everything but the person I'm speaking to.

sometimes i freak myself out when i become really aware of looking at either one of their eyes or the other. then i try to look at both together and go cross-eyed.

cock and tits

you only converse with trannies?

if i'm serious

Straight through their head to a spot some 9,000 miles behind them.

deep into their soul.

there eyes

I alternate between looking into the eyes and turning away to look at random objects. I can't look into someone's eyes for too long. It starts to feel too intimate after a while.

http://www.ahajokes.com/cartoon/cross1.jpg

One eye. Do people notice when you're doing that?

http://www.harrynilsson.com/images/knnillss.gif

Usually away from people, which I've been told is NOT GOOD.

Lately though at people's noses, which is probably worse. I blame this girl I've got a crush on who has a very 'interesting' nose - by which I mean I've been trying very hard and have succeeded in convincing myself that it's not an ugly nose, but at the mental cost of upping the overall attractiveness of people's noses in general which has led to me staring at them.

Generally this isn't a problem for me, ie I don't think too much about eye contact - I just do it fairly naturally (as far as I know). HOWEVER I do have a bad habit of staring at receding hairlines. Complete baldness holds no fascination for me, but early to mid period hair loss on the temples, and the progressive thinning at the front, makes me feel a bit ill for some reason and I can sometimes fixate on it.

Should I add the "looking at their lips = you fancy them" argument?

mainly at one eye, or exactly what trayce said.

I turn to look them in the eyes at crucial junctures (and while they're speaking to me), but I tend to use the space around them to make rhetorical allusions (eyes up and to one side when beginning an anecdote, eyes down when conceding a point).

we had this one girl in high school who was known for looking people up and down. u just knew, when u talked to lauren, she would look you up and down. it felt like she was judging you.

I turn to look them in the eyes at crucial junctures (and while they're speaking to me), but I tend to use the space around them to make rhetorical allusions (eyes up and to one side when beginning an anecdote, eyes down when conceding a point)

yeah i though this was de rigueur; i have to meet a lot of new people all the time in business settings and i couldn't imagine not having this down pat.

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00006JC7R.01.MZZZZZZZ.jpg http://images-jp.amazon.com/images/P/B0000C3I6E.01.MZZZZZZZ.jpg

I like to look at my own boobs.

my fucking watch, usually

the horizon

"I alternate between looking into the eyes and turning away to look at random objects. I can't look into someone's eyes for too long. It starts to feel too intimate after a while."

This is me too.

I turn to look them in the eyes at crucial junctures (and while they're speaking to me), but I tend to use the space around them to make rhetorical allusions (eyes up and to one side when beginning an anecdote, eyes down when conceding a point)

yeah i though this was de rigueur; i have to meet a lot of new people all the time in business settings and i couldn't imagine not having this down pat.

-- tremendoid, Friday, October 19, 2007 6:25 PM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

me either -- i'm very good at this

I look ALLL OVER THE GODDAMNED PLACE. And I think I freak people out bcz I'll make eye contact for way too long, usually without realizing it.

do guys really look at girls' chests when they're talking to them? this always seemed so strange to me, like just really outlandish

Always at the eyes. Well, I think so. Haven't actually paid attention to it. But that doesn't mean I'm actually, like, listening to'em.

You can alter your attraction to the opposite sex simply by looking straight at them and smiling, research suggests.

Gaze 'key to facial attraction'

They misspelled "gays"

You know, I never quite understood that "looking at girls' chests" thing until somewhat recently -- had several conversations with someone who seemed COMPLETELY UNAWARE that he was repeatedly glancing down, even staring, even while I was looking him right in the eyes! It was MASSIVELY off-putting, but I can only imagine that he's really unaware that a) he's doing it, or b) it's obvious.

the thing with the chest, when you start thinking about it, it's really distracting.

that's interesting alba

I would like that to be my catchphrase.

Alba that trick is my secret ot make girls think i am pretty! YOU RUINED IT!

I used to know a guy who'd look directly at a spot just above my head, as if he was staring intently at the propeller on the imaginary beanie sitting atop my head.

I'm pretty good about maintaining eye contact when someone else is talking, but when I'm talking, my gaze tends to wander around the room or down to my shoes.

http://www.nature.com/nature/journal/v413/n6856/images/413589aa.2.jpg

http://www.jonzphoto.com/wp-content/photo2005/montparnasse1200.jpg

I look at people's mouths, a habit I think picked up unconsciously from my mum and various other lip-readers when I was young.

I look dead-on at the person speaking to me with steely regard, and then when they're done talking, I go "Huh?"

http://www.dkimages.com/discover/previews/856/20140175.JPG

what if you tilt your head way over to the side like a TV detective

While wearing sunglasses.

I'm pretty good about maintaining eye contact when someone else is talking, but when I'm talking, my gaze tends to wander around the room or down to my shoes.

This is actually not bad at all if you don't overdo it. It makes you less aggressive. Talking and looking directly at somebody asserts dominance, sort of, so occasionally glancing around is okay. It's also cool to look at someone's mouth occasionally while they're talking-- it's a sign that you're actually listening and no just looking for a cue to start talking yourself. The direct, long gaze is more for, like, "I think we should be making out right now"-- not a look you want to give everyone (OR DO YOU?)

It was MASSIVELY off-putting, but I can only imagine that he's really unaware that a) he's doing it, or b) it's obvious.

Someone should explain him peripheral vision.

ah, great thread !
very often I find myself very consciously looking at one or the other eye of someone I'm talking to. somehow, I can't look at BOTH eyes at the same time : how do people do that !?
also, I feel uncomfortable looking directly at someone in the eye(s) for a long time while talking. It does feel too intimate.

When I want to let the other party know I care about what they are telling me, I look them in the eye. More precisely, my gaze flits from one eye to the other, or to another nearby part of their face. Not their boobs.

When it is more important for me to hear exactly what they are saying and how they are saying it, I look down and slightly away, because I process the aural contents better that way.

"I alternate between looking into the eyes and turning away to look at random objects. I can't look into someone's eyes for too long. It starts to feel too intimate after a while."

This is me too.

― Wiggy Woo, Friday, October 19, 2007 2:40 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark

Interesting. I think eye contact is pretty important and try to maintain it although not 100% of the time because that would just be creepy.

My ex had real problems maintaining eye contact with people and it made him look shady even though he wasn't.