I hate me.

oilyrags otm

gouging your own eyes out with a vegetable peeler - C/D?

gouging sort of defeats the point of a peeler

u have killed father, married mother and ruined thebes y/n

I thought this would be a Dom thread.

It doubles as a corer, I think. Anyway, there's a sharp tip with a curved profile.

xp

Oedipus used a brooch pin. I don't want to bite anyone's style.

Do not hate you! Be tolerant of you! Go drink.

All best, man, I mean I hate that fucking feeling.

Maybe if I just did one I could get some kind of permanent disability compensation. No, what am I saying? This is America!

Yeah, the peeler has a bluntish point for, among other things, de-eyeing potatoes, so it could probably de-eye Oilyrags.

Way ahead of you on the drinking, Abbott. Didn't you guess?

Some people look at a flag, swaying in the breeze of the White House and say, "That's America." Whenever I see an American flag hung in a window of a basement apartment by guys who have better things to do with their money than buy curtains, I say, "That's America to me."

In America, there are fifty-one states. Or maybe it's eighty by now. Does England count? I'm not quite sure. The one thing I am sure of is, if I'm standing in a warehouse beside a timeclock, and a guy is punching in his best friend who's too hungover to get out of bed, I'm standing in America.

The makeover capital of the world. The place where every young man has to answer in his heart the question: "What do you love more, your girlfriend, or your car?" Where that young man can buy a beat-up car for three hundred dollars, but have to spend a thousand to insure it. The land where even a paperboy can option the film rights to a book.

America. In America, a woman on an assembly line works out her overtime in her head to infinity, and at the exact same moment, her husband gets into a car crash because he was looking at a girl in a tube top.

America. A land where spelling doesn't count, but people's pets do. Where else can you get a job riding a whale at Marine Land? The land where a guy's girlfriend breaks up with him over the phone, so he takes a gun, and kills the principal. Everyone's sad until they get the day off. Next week, another guy, another gal, another, "We can still be friends" phone call. Uh-oh! The assistant principal gets killed. And everyone is sad because they don't get the day off. Because he was only the assistant principal.

America. A land of opportunity. Yes, that great lumbering beast that journeys tirelessly and stops only to eat a clubouse sandwich, pick its teeth with a matchbook cover, and fall asleep with the TV on.

America. A place for Americans.

Yeah, I did guess. Get some valium and some hugs, whichever's easier to score. And don't drive. And don't hate you!

Mine is pretty close to this:

http://www.sinistershop.com/Images4web/G43_%20Peeler%20doub-edged.JPG

If you turned it over, you could see the edge at the tip.

For some reason, a drunk carrying a sharp implement has a hard time getting valium or esp. hugs.

Don't stab your eyes out! Just have a good cry instead. So much more cathartic and it won't kill your insurance premium, assuming you have any (I do not).

Wld torrent you hugs and bordertown valium were it would.

lj made me lol.

lj, why you no play scrabble with me? I've looked at your past boards, yer good. But three weeks with not a word, and a force win seems reasonable.

ot

http://www.swapmeetdave.com/Humor/Cats/CuteKittyHug.jpg

Your search: "bittorrent, hugs, vegetable peeler, eyegouge, valium" did not have any results.

why would that have any results?

In unrelated news, a vegetable peeler is an excellent way to get thin slices of cheese, if the cheese is sufficiently firm.

whoa, *6* games! i've not even CHECKED scrabulous in 3 weeks!

gonna do this without consulting dictionaries or lists of 2/3 letter words.

hey everyone. CUT IT OUT re: this joke: Your search - ___________- did not match any documents.

liking yourself is a spiritual disease

Ah, fucked up the phrasing. Well, as noted, it is a lame, long-since played-out gag.

xpost yeah, agreed, but so's hating yourself. gotta find middle, nothing else is attracive.

I was gonna say you left "bordertown" out of the mix.

I like old jokes, they kind of ripen with age.

a week ago i hated me. things looked blacker than they had in years. i'm not sure what changed but i do think exercising and taking personal days at work helped.

I hated myself yesterday after I finished Quake 4 in 2 days (shit ending too).

http://blog.wired.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/06/01/he_hate_me.jpg

> taking personal days at work

That's bitterly ironic, considering the impetus for this round of autorevulsion.

motherfuck just when i thought id gotten over rod smart

chaki: the louis black of ile