So you're there and somehow you've manged to land yourself talking to the girl/boy of your dreams (or at least they'll do or whatever) and you've got loads in common and your wit and repartee is just flowing like the Seinne. Then you feel a prod on your shoulder and your mate is there, who plonks his/herself next to you and stares at said girl/boy's tits/cock without saying very much at all. Suddenly you're forced to invent some kind of reason for them being there so you introduce them as your mate, and they start talking utter bollocks at said girl/boy until the situation goes beyond the realms of hopelessness. Your once incredible rapport has been shot to shit by your friend who has taken the wheel, ripped it out the dashboard and steered the whole thing into a thick brick wall. Eventually, three or four of your friends are all trying to chat up that one catch simultaneously and quite obviously failing at it.
What do you do?
(PS, this is a completely rhetorical question and does not at all have anything to do with tonight's experiences (like not even three times)).
― the next grozart, Sunday, 4 November 2007 02:02 (sixteen years ago) link
tell them they are awful friends and consider why you still go out w/ them.
― J0rdan S., Sunday, 4 November 2007 02:04 (sixteen years ago) link
Cockpunch. Srsly.
― Noodle Vague, Sunday, 4 November 2007 02:05 (sixteen years ago) link
start a convo, dick on swoll
― and what, Sunday, 4 November 2007 02:11 (sixteen years ago) link
went to get her cousin, shit im down for a threesome "yo, this is mike, he raps, i wanted you to meet him"
― and what, Sunday, 4 November 2007 02:12 (sixteen years ago) link
competition is what makes us a great species. learn to live with it.
― darraghmac, Sunday, 4 November 2007 02:13 (sixteen years ago) link
chokin my chicken for lack of knob slobbin leave it up to me you die for cock blockin
― and what, Sunday, 4 November 2007 02:14 (sixteen years ago) link
make it clear that THEY are the ones who have the clap
― o-ess, Sunday, 4 November 2007 02:27 (sixteen years ago) link
tonight we came to the conclusion that the female version of cockblocking is called "cockblocking"
― Tracer Hand, Sunday, 4 November 2007 03:23 (sixteen years ago) link
and it is always "acceptable" because that is the definition of it
― Tracer Hand, Sunday, 4 November 2007 03:24 (sixteen years ago) link
UNACCEPTABLE
― gff, Sunday, 4 November 2007 03:30 (sixteen years ago) link
Cockblocking is a most asshole maneuver BUT it is useful in Scrabble to keep others from getting the triple words scores & c. (That is what my gang calls it anyway.)
― Abbott, Sunday, 4 November 2007 03:47 (sixteen years ago) link
sometimes it's the swain's proprietary air and the snarling looks he gives his friends, like a cat under a table guarding a sausage, that is the true blocker in this scenario, but the friends get unfairly blamed because the swain lacks self-awareness.
― estela, Sunday, 4 November 2007 03:56 (sixteen years ago) link
Poor little swain. : (
― Abbott, Sunday, 4 November 2007 03:57 (sixteen years ago) link
Take the girl aside, apologise for the friend, ask for her phone number. USE YOUR ENEMY.
― moley, Sunday, 4 November 2007 04:03 (sixteen years ago) link
abbott you should start a charity for educating swains, i think you would be kind to them.
― estela, Sunday, 4 November 2007 04:13 (sixteen years ago) link
I've got swainophilic opening channels and cockblockophobic closing channels. My inner philanthropist would kindle all these swains.
― Abbott, Sunday, 4 November 2007 04:19 (sixteen years ago) link
And woe to all coxswainblockers!
i think you had better hand out a glossary of terms during the first class.
― estela, Sunday, 4 November 2007 04:24 (sixteen years ago) link
I think I'd just teach them how to have fun when they are not on boats or aiding knights errant.
― Abbott, Sunday, 4 November 2007 04:29 (sixteen years ago) link
i bet they will all fight uselessly over you and eventually die from being nudged in the ribs once too often.
― estela, Sunday, 4 November 2007 04:35 (sixteen years ago) link
Don't worry, I have a padded but nonetheless elegant protective vest with Captain Crunch-style epaulets.
― Abbott, Sunday, 4 November 2007 04:37 (sixteen years ago) link
'round these parts we've agreed on "vagina blocking"
― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Sunday, 4 November 2007 05:01 (sixteen years ago) link
That is unsavory and bad.
― Abbott, Sunday, 4 November 2007 05:03 (sixteen years ago) link
No offense.
― Abbott, Sunday, 4 November 2007 05:04 (sixteen years ago) link
would you prefer vajayjay blocking?
― Roz, Sunday, 4 November 2007 05:07 (sixteen years ago) link
no.
― J0rdan S., Sunday, 4 November 2007 05:08 (sixteen years ago) link
Not any female reproductive organ-term blocking plz! I was thinking of dozens of them and they all sounded rotten.
― Abbott, Sunday, 4 November 2007 05:09 (sixteen years ago) link
it can always be called cockblocking unless it's women hitting on women, right?
― horseshoe, Sunday, 4 November 2007 05:09 (sixteen years ago) link
Yes! And mebbe the other could be 'dykeblocking,' ,,, ? ,.?
― Abbott, Sunday, 4 November 2007 05:11 (sixteen years ago) link
yeah. xpost
― Roz, Sunday, 4 November 2007 05:11 (sixteen years ago) link
never acceptable. unless the dude is a total dud and you are sending coded signals to pls help now!!
― tehresa, Sunday, 4 November 2007 06:35 (sixteen years ago) link
Tehr is right, thats totally when it IS ok to cockblock, thats what its for, capn save a ho!
― Trayce, Sunday, 4 November 2007 06:43 (sixteen years ago) link
There's sadly been many a time at the local goth disco where I've been sipping petulantly at my gin trying to ignore the fat roleplayer with drink in his beard telling me interminably boring tales about his latest Civ4 campaign, and wished I had a cockblocking white knight to save me.
― Trayce, Sunday, 4 November 2007 06:45 (sixteen years ago) link
That would be one merciful cockblock.
― Abbott, Sunday, 4 November 2007 06:49 (sixteen years ago) link
You know it sister!
― Trayce, Sunday, 4 November 2007 06:51 (sixteen years ago) link
Its always either the fat sad roleplayers or the 50+ "goth" men who you know are just a leeetle bit too into S&M for anyones liking.
― Trayce, Sunday, 4 November 2007 06:52 (sixteen years ago) link
ugh how bout the sr. citizen italian dude in the grocery store last week? where's a good cockblock when you need it?!
― tehresa, Sunday, 4 November 2007 06:53 (sixteen years ago) link
Cockblocking: 0 Cocklocking: 1
― libcrypt, Sunday, 4 November 2007 07:24 (sixteen years ago) link
cocklock and drop it
― The Reverend, Sunday, 4 November 2007 07:51 (sixteen years ago) link
cocklock and two smokin' bazoongas
― Just got offed, Sunday, 4 November 2007 09:23 (sixteen years ago) link
-- Trayce,
Hey shut up!
― moley, Sunday, 4 November 2007 09:25 (sixteen years ago) link
acceptable or not?
― jhøshea, Sunday, 4 November 2007 09:26 (sixteen years ago) link
in -secomds a teacher is abt to spek
― jhøshea, Sunday, 4 November 2007 09:27 (sixteen years ago) link
i hate when people stare at my girl/boy's tits/cock without saying very much at all.
― pc user, Sunday, 4 November 2007 11:52 (sixteen years ago) link
i think estela is otm
― Tracer Hand, Sunday, 4 November 2007 13:18 (sixteen years ago) link
im sure there's been a cockblocking thread before.
sometimes cockblocking is necessary. there was this one time this loser dude almost got action with this girl who was off her face. intervention was necessary
― ken c, Sunday, 4 November 2007 13:26 (sixteen years ago) link
cockblocker
― wanko ergo sum, Sunday, 4 November 2007 13:51 (sixteen years ago) link
I guess pussy-plugging is right out then.
― Rock Hardy, Sunday, 4 November 2007 13:54 (sixteen years ago) link
um the lesbiotic equivalent is "crotchblocking" obv
― Tracer Hand, Sunday, 4 November 2007 14:28 (sixteen years ago) link
I think I've probably been an accidental cockblocker several times, probably. If it's an accident, is it really cockblocking?
Then again, a few of those times I probably accidentally played the role of the white knight cockblocker too, so I'm not sure where I stand in the balance.
― Z S, Sunday, 4 November 2007 15:25 (sixteen years ago) link
Fannybanning
― Mark C, Sunday, 4 November 2007 15:35 (sixteen years ago) link
Fannybanning's more like "Super Seat Saver 2000".
― kingkongvsgodzilla, Sunday, 4 November 2007 16:05 (sixteen years ago) link
"a cat under a table guarding a sausage"
― JimD, Sunday, 4 November 2007 16:37 (sixteen years ago) link