Bond Pre-Credits Sequences: POLL

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the first one i've seen compared with virginia woolf and marguerite duras.

Poll Results

OptionVotes
GoldenEye {fucking awesome} 8
The Spy Who Loved Me {chased by these Russian shits in black jumpsuits with lemon piping} 5
Casino Royale {Bond’s first kill}3
Moonraker {Jaws on a plane} 2
The Living Daylights {parachute jump over Gibraltar} 2
The World Is Not Enough {actually has TWO but this is still shit} 1
Octopussy {plane hidden in horsebox} 1
For Your Eyes Only {remote-control helicopter} 1
Die Another Day {hovercraft bidniz in the DMZ} 1
Never Say Never Again {Bond gets hardsonned… SIKE} 1
Goldfinger {“shocking”} 1
Diamonds Are Forever {Bond tracks down Blofeld} 1
You Only Live Twice {Bond is machine-gunned… SIKE} 1
The Man With The Golden Gun {Scaramanga foils assassination attempt… wot no Bond} 0
Thunderball {Jetpack} 0
Tomorrow Never Dies {Russian arms bazaar thing, Bond fools Tomahawk} 0
Licence To Kill {lassoing a plane} 0
On Her Majesty’s Secret Service {“this never happened to the other fellow”} 0
A View To A Kill {snowboarding} 0
Live and Let Die {three British agents get dead} 0
From Russia With Love {Bond is strangled… SIKE} 0


That one guy that hit it and quit it, Monday, 25 February 2008 15:43 (nine years ago) Permalink

"shocking", with apologies to goldeneye

darraghmac, Monday, 25 February 2008 15:55 (nine years ago) Permalink

for your eyes only is pretty stupid but i'm fond of it. blofeld in a wheelchair getting dropped down a chimney:

"i'll buy you a delicatessan. in stainless steel. mr boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooond."

Upt0eleven, Monday, 25 February 2008 16:10 (nine years ago) Permalink

"Never Say Never Again", because in it Bond has to be stealthy and kick ass, and it's the one you can imagine working best as a level in a Bond videogame. Also for the scene immediately following, where James Fox berates Bond for being crap "you were killed twice during this training exercise".
"View To A Kill" = worst. Does anyone laugh at the bit where Bond "surfs" on a snomobile skid while they play the Beach Boys?

snoball, Monday, 25 February 2008 16:21 (nine years ago) Permalink

i bet they did when it came out. but it's a pale shadow of 'the spy who loved me'.

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Monday, 25 February 2008 16:22 (nine years ago) Permalink

the octopussy one i've always liked, for some reason.

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Monday, 25 February 2008 16:23 (nine years ago) Permalink

Also honourable mentions to "Goldeneye" for the woooooaaahhhhh dam jump, and "Daylights" because it's actually Dalton hanging onto the Land Rover.

snoball, Monday, 25 February 2008 16:23 (nine years ago) Permalink

Goldeneye, totally.

Rock Hardy, Monday, 25 February 2008 16:23 (nine years ago) Permalink

'goldeneye' is great, but i think they got carried away in subsequent brosnans, went too big.

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Monday, 25 February 2008 16:25 (nine years ago) Permalink

Still a special place in my heart for For Your Eyes Only, from my HBO-saturated upbringing, and for having no idea who the wheelchair was supposed to be until years later.

kingfish, Monday, 25 February 2008 16:29 (nine years ago) Permalink

Moonraker - motherfucking JAWS on a motherfucking PLANE!

onimo, Monday, 25 February 2008 16:35 (nine years ago) Permalink

you only live twice, spy who loved me, and moonraker -- all basically the same. (i think YOLT actually starts with spaceships eating each other.)

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Monday, 25 February 2008 16:36 (nine years ago) Permalink

The thing I don't like about the later Moore Bonds is the enforced humour - "Toro... Sounds like a load of bull" OH GET ON WITH IT AND BLOW SHIT UP ALREADY!!!

snoball, Monday, 25 February 2008 16:38 (nine years ago) Permalink

it says on wiki that at the start of 'moonraker' he is travelling back from south africa. i kind of worry about what missions bond might have been running for HMG in south africa in the '70s rly...

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Monday, 25 February 2008 16:40 (nine years ago) Permalink

Here's the sequence:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=wZqjuaQn_48
M only says "African job". I cringe when Jaws starts flapping his arms.

snoball, Monday, 25 February 2008 16:49 (nine years ago) Permalink

The thing I don't like about the later Moore Bonds is the enforced humour - "Toro... Sounds like a load of bull" OH GET ON WITH IT AND BLOW SHIT UP ALREADY!!!

was the same in the connery bonds:

(bad guys get knocked off a cliff)
Bond: I think they were on their way to a funeral.

(After electrocuting the guy in the bathtub.)
Bond: Shocking. Positively shocking.

(After shooting Vargas with a spear gun.)
Bond: I think he got the point

Blofeld: right idea
Bond: but wrong pussy
etc

never acid again, Monday, 25 February 2008 16:53 (nine years ago) Permalink

The difference is that in the Moore films the humour is before the action, and effectively spoils the build up of tension. In the Connery films the humour is after the action.

snoball, Monday, 25 February 2008 16:56 (nine years ago) Permalink

went with The World is Not Enough. you can turn it off after it gets to the opening credits.

abanana, Monday, 25 February 2008 17:34 (nine years ago) Permalink

you're gonna do the title sequence poll too right?

s1ocki, Monday, 25 February 2008 17:53 (nine years ago) Permalink

yeah, we're doing everything, soup-to-nuts.

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Monday, 25 February 2008 18:02 (nine years ago) Permalink

I love the title sequences and Maurice Binder's importance to the Bonds is not to be underestimated, but I can barely remember any of em. You gonna seek out videos of 'em?

IMO that's the one poll Tomorrow Never Dies could do quite well in.

Upt0eleven, Monday, 25 February 2008 19:10 (nine years ago) Permalink

FRWL and Goldfinger feature two early highlights, and Goldfinger is again notable for setting the format of most subsequent pre-title sequences.

I didn't care much for any of the Moore bits, but TSWLM and Moonraker were pretty good. The Living Daylights was easly the best of the 80s crop, and GoldenEye is the reigning modern champ, IMO.

Can't wait for the title poll.

Millsner, Monday, 25 February 2008 21:24 (nine years ago) Permalink

I love the title sequences and Maurice Binder's importance to the Bonds is not to be underestimated, but I can barely remember any of em. You gonna seek out videos of 'em?

I seem to recall that all of them are on YouTube.

Elvis Telecom, Monday, 25 February 2008 22:21 (nine years ago) Permalink

'goldeneye' is great, but i think they got carried away in subsequent brosnans, went too big.

correcto

blueski, Monday, 25 February 2008 22:33 (nine years ago) Permalink

the one where's he's on skis and he goes off a cliff and pulls out a big parachute with the Union Jack on it. the ultimate cheeseball Roger Moore sequence, imo.

latebloomer, Monday, 25 February 2008 22:35 (nine years ago) Permalink

ah my quote was a bit abstract.

Sonja: "The Spy Who Loved Me" is a brilliant film. It begin in forest in Germany...
Alan Partridge: It's Austria! Austria!
John: What's the one where the laser beam goes up his jack...
Alan Partridge: "Goldfinger"!
Michael: What's the one with the, with the volcano, and it splits up and a big rocket comes out with all Chinkies jumping up and down?
Tex: Isn't that, er, "Thunderball"?
Alan Partridge: No. No! No! No! Stop getting Bond wrong! I'll tell you about "The Spy Who Loved Me". All do that with your fingers round your eye. I am Roger Moore. Bang! Blood dribbles down. We're on a submarine. Two sailors sit down and have a game of chess. Then the cups start wobbling and then a man who used to be in "The Onedin Line" comes in and goes, "Why are the cups wobbling? What's going on?" And then... yeah, you can stop doing that now. And then he peers down the periscope thing and looks through it and goes, "Oh my God. The submarine's being eaten by a a giant tanker." And then we cut to Moscow. And there's a man there and he's Russian - he's got eyebrows, you know - and he's on the phone going, "What, a whole submarine? You're joking! I'm gonna have to tell some other Russians. See ya!" Right, and then, and then, it cuts to James - Roger Moore - and er, yes, he's with a lady. Yeah. Yeah. He's, he's necking with her. And he goes, "I've got to go, love. Something's come up."
Michael: Aye. He means his cock.
Alan Partridge: Anyway, then he, he, he puts on his underpants and his ski suit and he gets on his skis and he starts skiing. And he's being chased by these Russian shits in black jumpsuits with lemon piping. And, er, he's just skiing along like that, and they start shooting at him, and he goes, "Right! I've had enough of that! Just stop it!" And he turns round with his gun and then he does a backward somersault off this ramp, and he, he lands on his feet - I'm not sure why, but he's not showing off. And then, then he goes over a cliff and he's falling and you think, oh God, James Bond's going to die! He's going to die! But then at the last minute...
Michael: He pulls a ripcord, right? And a, a, a parachute comes out and it's got a Union Jack...
Alan Partridge: Michael! Michael!
Michael: But that'show it ends.
Alan Partridge: That's not the end of the beginning. The end of the beginning goes like this: glang! Glanalangalangalangalangalang! Glanalang, langalangalanga, nobody does it better - and I'm a naked woman in silhouette with a gun, spinning round - Makes me feel sad for the rest. Nobody does it - ooh, bit of nipple - quite as good as you. Baby, you're the best. Da, da, da - and now a really big bounce right over and I land on my feet. Da, da, da, da, da, der. I wasn't looking, so now you found me... ooh, bit of bush, er - I tried to hide from your love life - and a woman swinging on a Luger, a giant Luger; ooh, look at that... Like heaven above me - and now another naked woman walking along the top of a gun, completely Billy Bollocks... The spy who loved me is keeping all my secrets safe tonight - and then one more big swing from the woman; legs go right up - ooh, what was that? Too late... Nobody does it half as good as you, baby you're the best!

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Monday, 25 February 2008 22:37 (nine years ago) Permalink

In all its glory.

chap, Monday, 25 February 2008 22:44 (nine years ago) Permalink

lol I voted for the hovercraft chase. that was actually a lot of fun. FYEO and CR are really awesome too though

El Tomboto, Monday, 25 February 2008 22:44 (nine years ago) Permalink

I recognised the Partridge quote. I really love the SWLM pre-credit even tho I'm not a Moore fan.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 25 February 2008 22:47 (nine years ago) Permalink

I think I am officially burned out on Moore in the snow

El Tomboto, Monday, 25 February 2008 22:51 (nine years ago) Permalink

not enough u tube on here

pisces, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 01:44 (nine years ago) Permalink

one of the best parts about the Moonraker intro is the way the drumroll continues after Jaws lands on the tent, at which point we see his outline falling through space, then the drumroll finally crashes as the title comes up.

Cosmo Vitelli, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 02:21 (nine years ago) Permalink

Best James Bond Narrow Escape Scene

Best James Bond Chase Scene

felicity, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 05:10 (nine years ago) Permalink

Haha I've read too much economy shitbin threads; I thought "bond pre-credit sequences" were some kind of complex financial instruments or something!

anatol_merklich, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 11:19 (nine years ago) Permalink

What's with all the SIKEs?

http://www.raf-sylt.org.uk/Eric_Sykes.jpg

Dingbod Kesterson, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 11:23 (nine years ago) Permalink

Casino Royale is definitely the best of those. A pity the original Casino Royale with pre-cred sequence of John Huston in appalling red toupee and worse Scots accent wasn't included.

Dingbod Kesterson, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 11:25 (nine years ago) Permalink

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

ILX System, Tuesday, 4 March 2008 00:01 (nine years ago) Permalink

A pity the original Casino Royale with pre-cred sequence of John Huston in appalling red toupee and worse Scots accent wasn't included.

-- Dingbod Kesterson, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 11:25 (1 week ago) Link

decided it wasn't real enough.

i don't feel we've given this poll our all, somehow :(

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Tuesday, 4 March 2008 00:29 (nine years ago) Permalink

too soon?

El Tomboto, Tuesday, 4 March 2008 00:47 (nine years ago) Permalink

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

ILX System, Wednesday, 5 March 2008 00:01 (nine years ago) Permalink

the opening of 'tomorrow never dies' is basically like 'octopussy'. i think it's kind of good -- got to be better than 'jaws on a plane'.

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Wednesday, 5 March 2008 00:16 (nine years ago) Permalink

the thunderball one really is one of the worst of these. like, extra doses of stupid, that idiotic looking helmet, and no tension at all. He chokes to death some french bastard in drag and the straight into 100% dumb. Water spouts? how about just DRIVING AWAY?

El Tomboto, Thursday, 6 March 2008 06:13 (nine years ago) Permalink

not even any good lines!

El Tomboto, Thursday, 6 March 2008 06:13 (nine years ago) Permalink

ok, homeless james bond is pretty stupid, but the "okay, that one's not" line is perfectly delivered and quality lol.

Gukbe, Thursday, 6 March 2008 06:30 (nine years ago) Permalink

if we ever did an 'implausibly righteous' or whatever poll i think i'd have to cast a vote for the LTK climax with all that truck porn. Especially when it pops a wheelie through the flames.

Cosmo Vitelli, Thursday, 6 March 2008 06:37 (nine years ago) Permalink

three months pass...

as revealed here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpDLRkf2CD0

the only bond with no traditional-walking-along-then-BANG!-gunbarrel-intro is CASINO ROYALE. i hadnt noticed at the time. also connery wore a *hat* in all of his intro bits. whats that about?!

yes i'm stoked by the new trailer. waiting 5 months is a bit of a pain mind.

piscesx, Tuesday, 1 July 2008 21:08 (nine years ago) Permalink

eight years pass...

the thunderball one really is one of the worst of these. like, extra doses of stupid, that idiotic looking helmet, and no tension at all. He chokes to death some french bastard in drag and the straight into 100% dumb. Water spouts? how about just DRIVING AWAY?

relentlessly off tm.

i mean, JETPACK

who is extremely unqualified to review this pop album (BradNelson), Thursday, 1 December 2016 08:46 (one year ago) Permalink

one year passes...

poll got the only possible right answers in the top two, good job. most of the rest are pretty dull and forgettable though they often do fine setting the tone of the films. i like the living daylights gibraltar run a lot. the blofeld bullshit in for your eyes only is disgraceful.

Newb Sybok (Doctor Casino), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 20:08 (two weeks ago) Permalink

he drops him down a smokestack, it rules

flamenco drop (BradNelson), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 20:13 (two weeks ago) Permalink

theme song to "You Only Live Twice" is so amazing

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 23:03 (two weeks ago) Permalink

the one where's he's on skis and he goes off a cliff and pulls out a big parachute with the Union Jack on it. the ultimate cheeseball Roger Moore sequence, imo.

was this the View to a Kill one? Didn't they also break out a Beach Boys number mid way? damn

In space, pizza sends out for YOU (Ste), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 23:39 (two weeks ago) Permalink


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