This is the inevitable thread for ILxors in their forties

hee hee

Xposts - lol yes bad = bald there

Xposts - lol yes bad = bald there

losing my hair happened in my twenties so I had to get over it quickly. Once I went through denial/depression/anger/rogaine/acceptance, I was fine. I shaved it to a Statham and never looked back.

Definitely went on dates with people who didn't like the bald thing, but i didn't ever get down about it, weirdly. And eventually I met someone who *really* likes the bald thing.

Shaving your head down is *almost* like hiding it but it's also saying fuck it, this is who I am.

shaved heads look fine and i never think of them as a sign of incipient baldness, i view them as a sound aesthetic choice that’s been made.

This ^^ ! I think that even if it is cause you’re balding, this is helpful to remember.

i agree

mr veg had long hair until his hairline receded too far back - then he cut it all off because he said he didn’t want to look like David Crosby lol <3

I honestly think bald on top with very long hair, inclusive of ponytails and braids, is an extremely strong look and in no way worthy of shame

yeah idk, mr veg had a real thing about that look.

silby: you mean a Mick Fleetwood?

Sorry, the "baldytail" is the worst haircut in human history. Wanna be bald and still have long(ish) hair? Put a hat on and never take it off, like Brian Johnson from AC/DC or Klaus Meine from Scorpions.

Yeah, agreed. That is literally NEVER a good look.

Not even with a brightly coloured waistcoat?

A friend of mine used to call that hairdo The Faded Glory.

Add an inexplicable little leather pouch on the belt to the waistcoat and yes it really could work

The highest concentration of baldytails I have ever seen in one space at one time (this will surprise absolutely no one) was a King Crimson concert last summer.

and that was just on stage

I loved that Futurama gave Wernstrom, its egomaniacal, petulant scientist character, a baldytail.

https://morbotron.com/img/S07E08/273189.jpg

Also popular at Ren Faire

the "bill bailey" is alright if you can own it.

nope

Bill gets a pass because he's Bill but even he admits he's part man part troll and I think the hair is a lot of that.

if you give me enough time i can come up with other examples of successful bill baileys but they'd have to be self effacing comedians who look exactly like bill bailey

lol :)

omg i mistook bill bailey (who i had to google, no idea who that guy is) for beetle bailey
on account of the hat and implied attitude? idk

my 40s have been great so far but sometimes i find myself being completely out of the loop wrt a conversation in which people use references to imply something and i am not aware of what that thing is or what it means

oh well! i'm alright w my 40s so far otherwise.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/c0/Recruta_zero_03.png

Oh man, yeah, these kids today with their references. I've been getting some first-hand experience with the 'clueless adult' archetype as I've slowly relinquished all effort wrt keeping up with what's 'hip' and 'dope' and 'fresh'.

the thing is that i don't care that i don't know -- i can look it up, whatever, or just ignore it. it's just a sign to me that i am on the outside looking in. whatever! i am still a decent person and know plenty of interesting things. i am not very into complaining about being in my 40s tbh.

i've never felt particularly interested in keeping up with what's cool which might make me a "cob nobbler" or a "lamestain" but i guess rather than keeping up i prefer to just go through life making discoveries randomly.

with music i actually use the ILM year end poll to discover what's good or rather what i like from the previous year. though i think i'm generally pretty good about keeping up with certain types of new music.

So sad right now that only someone in their 40s would pick up on your grunge insults.

I'm generally at least five years behind the curve on most 'hip' pop culture. I'm really not worried about it at all. Can't wait to discover fidget spinners sometime in 2021, though.

haaa i am in my 40s and i still didn't get it
tbh this is a lifelong issue for me that has only gotten more pronounced as i age, it's ok

i too prefer to skip my way through life enjoying what i enjoy & discovering things at my own pace

La Lechera otm. Enjoy what you enjoy; I believe that it's wrongheaded to regard "keeping up with ___" as a moral imperative rather than a taste / preference / lifestyle choice.

I used to wonder "How can my grandmother not know who Bruce Springsteen is?"

And now I wonder, "How in the world can my kids not know who Bruce Springsteen is?"

there's always a time to learn about something

my dad has always done this really REALLY annoying thing where I will show an understanding of, say, Busby Berkeley movies and he's like flabberghasted, and asks "how do you know about Busby Berkeley movies???" like I could only possibly know about things that have happened while I was alive, like that is even logical. he's done it since i was a teenager, it's so annoying! he still does it!

There are times when a casual onlooker might assume that I was unaware that mass media had continued to be produced after I was born.

Generally speaking, most people are best at appreciating and evaluating cultural products produced when they were aged 15-20.

Coincidentally, that's exactly when culture feels like it is of life-or-death importance; that's when your favorite band is likeliest to define your social group and your wardrobe and your self-image.

Of course there are always also people who are WAY into Buster Keaton or Duke Ellington or Emily Dickinson or w/ev from a young age; my hat is off to those people as well.

i'm pretty inspired by my mom, who is really interested in keeping up with new art and new fashion. she's 70 years old and lives out in the sticks far NW of Chicago. She follows fashion trends and likes to make her own clothes, and she listens to a lot of Sonic Youth. it's probably no wonder my folks got divorced (though they're still friends), my dad's the type of fellow who will visit and I'll fish for something he'd like to do and it's always like "oh you know me, i'm ok with settling in at Coffee Bean for awhile to read a book, maybe we can go find a sandwich somewhere..."

it's always "find a sandwich"!

but it's ok, i respect both their interest levels.

Your parents sound very cool

OL I love your mom!

my dad has always done this really REALLY annoying thing where I will show an understanding of, say, Busby Berkeley movies and he's like flabberghasted, and asks "how do you know about Busby Berkeley movies???"

Sometimes, I'll make some B.J. Hunnicutt reference at work, and someone will say, "HAHA The millennials don't know what you're talking about!"

And hell, I know all about the Honeymooners and Lucy & Ethel at the chocolate factory. I'll give millennials the benefit of the doubt about a show that went off the air the decade they were born.

OK yes but I've had to explain that Paul Newman wasn't just some salad dressing guy to more than one person in their 20s in the last few years so it does happen.

i also love my mom!

partially relating to being in our forties: she was having financial difficulty and there's no way in hell we're going to be buying a house in L.A. since everything here that's convenient is either 700K plus or a fixer or usually both (leading to feelings of financial inadequacy as people around us buy homes for 1.4 million and the like), so we bought her house for her so she could stay there and continue to live her life. so now we actually own a house, which feels very adult. it's just not *our* house.

In my 30s I'd say stuff like "I prefer darker roasted coffee" but now I say "At my age, I prefer darker roasted coffee." This is a good trick for seeming wise.

now I wonder, "How in the world can my kids not know who Bruce Springsteen is?"

Listening to Bruce always struck me as highly optional. But at least I know who he is. By the same token, as a kid I knew, for example, who Jimmy Durante was, even though his career had basically ended before I was born.

your mom sounds super cool omar

Generally speaking, most people are best at appreciating and evaluating cultural products produced when they were aged 15-20.
maybe. but i feel confident saying that generally speaking, i am not most people :)

it's always "find a sandwich"!

your dad has got it together

When I was 15 I got super-offended when my aunt said I couldn't possibly understand the lyrics to "Purple Rain." Now I hear some contemporary music and am like "WTF are they singing?" :(

pretty much all specific bits of culture are highly optional.

I grew up with a sense that there was Essential Culture, but lost it quickly. When I got married, my parents were a little surprised that my wife hadn't been made to sit through all of "our" canonical movies. Nowadays we occasionally try to tell the children about Elvis Costello or the Go-Gos or Animaniacs. If they yawn and roll their eyes, we just drop it. Life's too short. They'll find what they need to find.

the only answer if you fear top baldness is to go - FULL mullet - so top is hairless, sides are partying. Like Ben Stahl

or john weathers from gentle giant

Essential reference for "top is hairless, sides are partying": Larry Fein
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/58/Larry_Fine_in_a_promotional_image_from_1962.png/220px-Larry_Fine_in_a_promotional_image_from_1962.png