This is the inevitable thread for ILxors in their forties

mine was like, over the course of three dats poop onto tissue paper that you have floated on the toilet bowl, take a popsicle stick, smear it thinly in a tiny square, do that three times

except it took too long and the tissue paper sank & i ended up having to poop into a empty yogurt container & just sitting in the bathroom literally “playing with poop”

like, what is my life right now

also god forbid you have mobility or dexterity issues or are elderly bc this whole process seems designed by someone who’s never interacted with a human before

but again, i’ll take it over invasive procedures

<3 quincie. I hope your meeting is productive! is there a point where they say you're probably in the clear?

onto the subject of the thread, I've fucked up my lower back... by vacuuming. then thinking it felt a bit better and working out with weights. bad idea. it's been about a month and still hurts so I guess I'll find a physio. but also trying to avoid quack medicine.
feel lucky compared to lots of you guys tho.

So close to retirement I can almost taste it

best to you quincie, i hope there's a better option in your future.

X-post

Surprised to see someone in the 40s thread saying that…. I don’t think I was even thinking of retirement in my 40s.

Maybe you should have

Anyone delaying getting a colonoscopy, stop blithering and do it. It's an opportunity for a nice nap! I have family history and my doc is part of a hospital (I chose her at random for the location and having a cool name and being a women, and it turns out she practices as part of a major local hosp) so they scheduled it internally (lol) which made it simpler. Found 5 polyps, all benign, but GO DO IT.

The nap part is so true.

Driving at night with the brightness of oncoming headlights these days is taking my life in my hands. Sayonara, my night vision, if I ever had you! I basically didn't drive for 20 years so it's hard to remember what it was like at age 22 and headlights have gotten way more cursed since then.

Quincie, fuck cancer and I'm sorry. Imagine what a genius you'll be when you stop taking the drug! You'll probably invent something!

here's my colonoscopy story. i tried to get one a month ago because i had blood in my stool for like 3 months before that. turns out i had to pay out of pocket for it because it's "diagnostic" not "regular scheduled" 45 yo one. anyway the bleeding stopped like a week before i had the appointment and i didn't want to pay $300 for it since that's a big deal for me so now i'm back to where i was. *long rant* fucking bullshit etc.

Oh I still owe the hospital over $400 but they did it without requiring anything up front, and the doctor, with some asperity, said, "Get the medical care you need and we'll figure out the money later" which is maybe kind of not helpful but once you get the medical care, what are they going to do, put the polyps back in? Like

Maybe you should have

Only an inheritance or lottery win would have made (very) early retirement possible - no matter how much i might have thought about it.

Even now, when I'm two years from the 'ilxors in their 60s' thread, the prospect of retirement is postponed in the current UK basketcase economy.

Yep, my doctor cautioned against doing the Exact Sciences mail-poop test if there's any chance there could be blood, because that obviates the results and then the resulting diagnostic (not preventative) colonoscopy is not covered by most insurance. But if he just orders the colonoscopy as preventative, it's covered. Smh.

I did the mail-in poop test, because it was pretty easy, which is the biggest advantage. The biggest disadvantage (besides being gross and awkward) is that you have to do it every three years instead of every 10, and it's not as accurate or thorough. My wife, for example, had a traditional colonoscopy which found a couple of benign polyps, which they just remove while they're in there to forestall any potential future problems. Going to traditional route is pretty gross, too, though, at least as far as the prep goes.

Another friend of mine, who is in her early '50s, went the traditional route (after a few concerning signs), and they totally found bad stuff. She's finally in the clear after about a year of treatment, thank goodness.

My mom (who is in her '70s) said at a certain age they stop recommending it as part of your regularly scheduled tests, and she's all, no, I'll keep getting them every 10 years, thanks. People are living longer and longer, and one reason is regularly screenings.

Driving at night with the brightness of oncoming headlights these days is taking my life in my hands.

This is totally my wife right now. She just got glasses specifically to help with driving at night.

The prep you drink for the reg procedure is intensely unpalatable but the result of pooping a lot isn't inherently gross imo. But you do you. Your mom otm.

I think as I understand it's like having rapid onset diarrhea that just keeps hitting at regular intervals until there is nothing left.

I watched a band apart while doing my prep , it was no big deal *poops*

Yeah I really found the colonoscopy thing (prep+procedure) NBD; I have had far, far worse dental appointments!

I found the prep somewhat hellish, especially when the appointment is in the morning so you need to stay up most of the night.

Change of topic, but the increase in amount of time I've spent napping this year has been overwhelming. I've taken more naps in the past 6 months than I have in total over the past decade. Just like, 4 pm - "oh here comes that feeling again. better lay down," then come to an hour later feeling like I have molasses in my veins and cotton in my skull. Not every day, but several times per week. It's pretty annoying. I remember my dad hitting the naps pretty hard too when he was my age.

i too have the nap bug

No naps for me. But now I'm staring down the barrel of a low-lectin diet, to try and deal with some of my auto-immune (and digestive) issues. Very curious to see how it goes but also the thought of giving up certain things, as well as general eating flexibility around friends and in restaurants, is colossally depressing to me. Gonna try for a good attitude about it though, might start a separate thread.

...I would participate in that thread as I'm about halfway to that kind of diet by necessity. (Clinging to cheese haterz gfy.)

I went to Paris on a school trip (35 15-year-olds, enough to cause long-lasting health issues in and of itself, obvs) and it was the first time I'd really had to face my dietary choices of the last few years head-on. Up until now, it had basically been confined to home and a few well-chosen restaurants. Reader, it was royal pain in the arse (and the guts).

I've been taking afternoon naps since I was a teenager, they're one of the best things in life. Pro tip: don't lie down and instead just fade out sitting up on a comfy couch or chair, then you'll wake up in 30-45 minutes without cotton ball brain and just feel refreshed.

One gift of middle age is perspective on medical procedures as you rack up a few truly unpleasant ones (colonoscopy prep is way easier to handle when you remember the week of the ureteral stent) and come to terms with occasional machine interpretations of your magical body. I used to be terrified of blood draws, now they barely faze me.

Thanks for the tip! I'll give it a shot.

I use the post-work power nap upon arriving home to make a clean break between my job and my life

I can't do 45 minutes; it'll fuck me up for the rest of the day. I find 15-20 minutes to be extremely refreshing, though. (Sorry for intervening in you kids' conversation — back to the over-50 zone I go!)

Daily afternoon nap (15-20 min) is crucial to me. I usually take a look at the clock before I close my eyes and again when I snap back, and it's almost always 17-18 minutes.

I don't nap, not yet at least, but the tip I read but have never tried is to have a cup of coffee right before you take a nap. That way, you fall asleep or rest, and then the coffee kicks in in about 45 minutes and either wakes you up or gives you a jolt, making the transition to being back awake smoother. I have my doubts, though, because the psychological component of coffee is real, just drinking it would probably wake me up immediately because I associate it with being awake. The same way putting my glasses on anytime other than the end of the day instantly makes me feel tired.

weekend afternoons = a nap, a fap, and a crap, but not in that order

(problem when I nap is I keep extending it until it's basically just...sleep)

I've spent decades fine-tuning the stimuli I need to reliably wake up from a nap at the right time... music or TV at a certain volume, upright body, room temperature. The coffee thing is a neat trick too! It will be different for everyone but you can get there!

I bloody love a nap; it's one of life's true pleasures and I do it every day if I can. In my old job, I used to nap at lunchtime and be able to time it pretty much to the minute. I don't think I was ever late back. Now I actually work for a living, I only nap when I get in and it's become a bit more hit and miss.

We Can't Have Nice Foods Anymore: Surviving the Diets of the Modern Era

Hello olds, I am once again here telling you (as a 38 year old) to GET A COLONOSCOPY if anything seems off or if there’s any family history. I put it off because i was “healthy” and felt fine for years, and now I’m a stage iiib cancer survivor who has a colostomy for the rest of his life. Trust me when i say it’s worth the unpleasantness.

i'm thinking of getting one before 45. my brother already got one and he's only 40.

i'm going to go back to my doctor and see if i can get him to refer this as "regular scheduled" instead of "diagnostic". even if not, i will bite the bullet this time.

map, i say this in all seriousness as a fellow fag and friend and etc: please do whatever you can to have it done. the first signs that something was really wrong with me were blood and (okay yes gross) mucus in my movements— because of the shittiness of the US healthcare system i waited until it was clear i couldn’t wait any longer, then got a referral from my PCP for a colonoscopy. as in, i get how cumbersome and awful this shit can be especially if you don’t have a ton of cash— but lord i wish i had just gone in at the first signs of trouble

i hear you, thanks table. i'll reschedule something this week for december.

I’ve had two and I’m only 43. It really is a nice little nap. The worst part of the prep for me isn’t the logical outcome of it, but just the sheer volume of liquid I had to drink.

Exact same notes as everyone else: I've had two. The prep sucks. The procedure is fine, you won't remember anything or feel anything or have any lasting impact. If you can get your insurance to do it, get it done.

why do you get given an anaesthetic for a colonoscopy in the USA? they don't give you one in the UK. is it just so they can charge more to your insurance or something?

My blood pressure is always massively high at the docs but seems to also be elevated at home now, despite the meds I take. White coat blood pressure, yes, because now I'm constantly anxious the reading will be high and the doc will flip.

Trying to get my doc to maybe add another medication.

The first one I took was amazing (losartan) but then got discontinued due to causing cancer or something.

Let's just say my dad's stroke has me more worried than I should be so I'm gonna contact the doc today to ask at next months visit to consider giving me new BP meds

(his stroke of five years ago I mean)

My blood pressure has rocketed up this last year or so as well -- I'm reasonably confident it's the combination of my SNRI and not really quitting alcohol. So I'm tapering off the former and basically cutting out the latter for the next month or so to see if that has a measurable effect.

If not, I regret I might have to stop eating macaroni and cheese.

I don't have any nutritional or dietary issues myself (thank goodness), but sorting donations at the food pantry in accordance to their requirements has made me acutely aware of things like sodium and added sugars, their two biggest bugaboos. It's kind of amazing how much stuff does not pass muster as "healthy."

Had a colonoscopy once, they sedate you, but you are semi conscious - they let you watch if you want, I declined.

Upside - got diagnosed with IBD, so worth the test! Luckily, not really had a bad IBD flare for a while.