Best Names

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What are the best names that you've ever heard? A trip to the bank on Friday was livened up by being served by a cashier called Fab Sheath! I don't know what Fab is short for, I didn't like to ask.

A friend played cricket recently against a side captained by the marvellously named Digby Christmas, and I came across a plumber recently called Dick Twitchin. Another friend went on a training course at work which was run by one Romily Cocking.

― Dr. C, Sunday, 21 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Rainy!

In the credits for something on TV today was Fine Time Fontayne. I want him to be my father, him or Disco Stu. Yeah.

― Graham, Sunday, 21 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

A girl I know's surname is Jupiter. I think that's pretty cool.

― DG, Sunday, 21 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I knew of a furniture company representative whose name was Bambi Magic. I remember a woman from an Academy Awards show back in the early '90's called Fawn Yacker. And there was a member of Havard's faculty (I think it was Harvard) in some brochure I leafed through with the name "Joe B. Thrasher."

― Michael Daddino, Sunday, 21 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

i have a business card from a certain Mr. Willie Wanker. I am 100% serious

― Ron, Sunday, 21 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I always thought NASCAR's Dick Trickle won hands down until the day a woman named "Fonda Cox" called a buddy of mine while we worked at a call center many years ago. He thought it was somebody crank calling him until he brought up the account info for the account number she gave and lo! Fonda Cox it was!

― Hunter, Sunday, 21 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Neptune Frost was, I believe, the first black American killed in the Revolutionary War. I've visited his grave.

― Douglas, Sunday, 21 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

this is probably not news to hardly no-one, but, there are lots of good =/or cool +/or foxy +/or stupid +/or lovely, enviable, suspect, brilliant and kick-ass names from the characters in and writers names/pseudonyms of girl's annuals/"schoolgirl stories" etc...also those "soft porn" paperbacks.
ducklingmonster has a featuring an aktual character named Lesbia Thorne!!!!!!!!!

― elizabeth anne marjorie, Sunday, 21 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

sorry - i don't know how that happened, was obv meant to say has a girl's annuals site featuring etc etc
oh so while i'm here i might mention that Sheba, Spectra, Greta, Gretchen, Fernanda, Petra Jane, Hedra, Harriet, Neerja, Hester, and Halo are some of the BEST NAMES I KNOW and that's just what i can think of right now. I was concentrating on names for females but i'm sure some of them would be cool for boys too. If I have a female kid i am intending to name her Edith Hope (Hope = middle name; small place i grew up in and also, uh, a feeling or emotion or something) and I like "Edie" as part of that. Keeping in mind that my last name is Kane, can anyone recommend any male or "unisex" names???? if so please either post them here or .
no shenanigans please!

― elizabeth anne marjorie, Sunday, 21 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

uhhh...don't think i closed some links properly so i'll just try now, at risk of further fucking it up

hamish knows someone called Joshua Tree. and he knows someone called Lala.

― elizabeth anne marjorie, Monday, 22 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

i like tha name björk gave her male kid, Sindri.
also some other bestest names i remembered now are:
Lindsay (equally good for m or f - or "the third sex" - or "the nth sex"), Hiriam (hank william's actual given name, and some king of egypt or something), Dusty, Eugene, Demarnia, Lee, Akira, Romona, Lizzy, Elizabeth, Eli, Della, Rainy, Dashiell, Clay, Saskia, River, Jane, Tigerlily, Sonnika (used to babysit her - dutch origin), Audrey, Audra, Sunil...
I knew someone called Rimu Tahu which i think is an exceptionally god name.
also, my band has the best names, like mine (Spectra Lyne), and Constella, and the others aren't telling yet 'cause we're not ready to really be a unit (/band) yet.

― elizabeth anne marjorie, Monday, 22 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

~~Romona~~ i meant to write Ramona of course. cf Ramona the Pest.
ilx'ers hate me 'casue i post lots of rambly posts in a row and there's always mistakes. I'm the champion thread-killer. I'm going to the garden to eat worms, or actually do the vegetarian equivelent for that situation, when I have worked out what that is.

― elizabeth anne marjorie, Monday, 22 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

elizabeth, along yr lines i have always been partial to phoebe and chloe

― Ron, Monday, 22 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

i like phoebe because of the kid's book we had when we were kids (and i've got a copy now too) phoebe and the hot water bottles. i suspect it might be coming too popular now, or too posh/"yuppie" but i'm not sure. oh and the girl in the book's total name when her family name was included was Phoebe Beeberbee. Now that's cool.
and you reminded me i really like Clea.
Clea Duvall was so great and yum and swoonsome for me in "girl, interrupted" (she was the one who was really into the Oz books), and in that movie which i think was called the Faculty where the school teachers were all evil aliens or something.

― elizabeth anne marjorie, Monday, 22 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Phaedra is miles better than Phoebe. (come to think of it, i think Miles could be a very good name for the right persons).
hamish and i had a geology lecturer called phaedra. It was pronounced fedra, not faydra like on that nancy and lee song. Oh another name which i think is great is Mildred. and Greer. and Sandy. and Jeltsje (pronounced like yelt-ts-yih...not very good explanation well hopefully people familiar with dutch or even german names will understand). and Ymke (~eemkih) which is the middle name of the jeltsje i know. And a great Norwegian name i know is Vigard, who is male. I'm sure there's lots of great Norge names.

― elizabeth anne marjorie, Monday, 22 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

elizabeth anne marjorie, you are AOK in my book!!

― Ron, Monday, 22 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Cash Savage

― minna, Monday, 22 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Tobermory the Womble
Tess of the D'Ubervilles
Ulysses
Pippi Longstocking
Hedy Lamarr
Amelia Bedelia
Milly Molly Mandy
Tesla Coil
Blixen, Haigen, Astrid
Katzimar
Casimar (i know someone called this and she is wonderful!)

― elizabeth anne marjorie, Monday, 22 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

this bloke used to do the cloakroom at the hacienda was called johnny leather.

― misterjones, Monday, 22 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

i like sorta old fashioned names. some of my friends have cool old fashioned names, like ina and beth. i like boys names on girls, like the drummer for elixir in flux is called george - probbly short for georgina but cool either way. also like michael for a girl, like michael from the bangles. corey, damian for girls are good. at present i have a crush on a girl who's name is Mikhal. whatever anyone can think of to say about merrin, she has a cool name at least.

― di, Monday, 22 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

yeah i like Max for gals (not bad for the boyfolks either).
i remember being really pleased with this character in a (margaret mahy i think) book for kids/ pre-teens there was a female character called Troy. i don't know how much it has been used as a girl or boy name but at the time i knew only a boy calleds Troy and i thought it therefore was a boy's name. it's a bit sad though that really i priveleged boy's names and wanted for myself an at least ambiguous (well, boy-name sounding but that girl's were allowed to have without being too freakish or being teased about it).

― elizabeth anne marjorie, Monday, 22 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

an actor/ess on 24 is called VICELLOUS!

― Alan Trewartha, Monday, 22 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

on the honours boards at our school the name "Ina Buckett" appeared which never failed to amuse.

― katie, Monday, 22 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Royston Shufflebottom.

― RickyT, Monday, 22 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

i have a friend called anna semmens. heheh

― di, Monday, 22 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

My niece has just been named Ruby Ella (Hargreaves).

I also know someone called Crimson Boner.

― Pete, Monday, 22 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

there is also this thread called something like "coolest name of someone you personally know".

― elizabeth anne marjorie, Monday, 22 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Anita Baker Fatty Acre

― PM, Monday, 22 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

This always comes up, and Gene Poole is always the best one I know.

― Ronan, Monday, 22 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

people! the thread title said BEST names, not worst or funniest.
but then yeah the thread-starter immediately went down the latter track. NAME YOUR THREADS MORE ACCURATELY, OR I WILL GET ANGRY WITH YOU.
don't tell me off if i spelt 'accurately' wrong or for being too lazy to even see if i spelt it wrong, or for telling you what to do, or for being the biggest lazoriest thread-killer.

― elizabeth anne marjorie, Monday, 22 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

My real name is Julius and my best friend's name is Aurelius. We are not pimps as of yet. All this is trew.

― Bob Zemko, Monday, 22 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

re: old fashioned names, check out my grandmother's family (and imagine these names on little kids. doesnt work) Vina, Nova, Norma, Irwin, Corwin, Noma

― Ron, Monday, 22 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

liz, different people might have different criteria for 'best' including, yes, funniness!! :-) i am going to try to remember to scan that willie wanker card

― Ron, Monday, 22 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

my great-grandfather's name = Royal Egbert

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 22 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

my auld mate maria higginbottom [ pron. mariah ] - she dresses like 1940s though is only 30 - she puts her entire filosopie ov life down to hvin an old name - if she married she would not change her name.

i have met a myrtle manville

― a-33, Monday, 22 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

One of my student workers a few years back, Pilipina in background, had a really great name: Rhia Rose Magbitang. Most cool.

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 22 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Neptune Frost was, I believe, the first black American killed in the Revolutionary War.

Was that the name Crispus Attucks used when he was on the D-L?

― Dan Perry, Monday, 22 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

One of my work colleagues is called Nicholas Crotch, which sounds like a porn star name. There's a comic artist rather unfortunately called Dick Ayers. The father of Gary and Phil Neville (England football internationals, for the non-Brits here) is Neville Neville.

The loveliest I've come across was an applicant to a university where I was working: Pritti Mistry.

― Martin Skidmore, Monday, 22 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

My great-grandmother was called Myrtle, and my grandfather (other side of the family) was called Virgil.

So how come I got Mark, eh?

― Mark C, Monday, 22 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

http://home.earthlink.net/~rjameshudson/wanker_WEB.jpg

hee

― Ron, Monday, 22 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

My great grandmother was Effie Maddams Tutt.

― Kim, Monday, 22 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I should have also mentioned that she was from Leighton Buzzard - another name that has always struck me as quite a tremendous one.

― Kim, Monday, 22 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I am from Leighton Buzzard too! How exciting! Well, not Da Buzz itself but a small village nearby. But I went to school there for 5 years.

― Emma, Tuesday, 23 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I received a business letter the other day from a Vivian Frimpong.

― Andrew L, Tuesday, 23 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

That is quite exciting Emma! I've never been there myself (as am peskily stuck over here on another continent) so I only know it from some very old family photographs. One day I'll have to make the pilgrimage.

― Kim, Tuesday, 23 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I really wouldn't bother, Kim, it's kind of a shithole. Though it does boast a Gossard bra factory / factory shop.

― Emma, Wednesday, 24 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

four months pass...

Tinkerbell MacDillingfitty - from that movie nate recommended on this thread

― ron (ron), Saturday, 7 September 2002 23:56 (twenty-one years ago) link

I played tennis against someone named Tenche Coxe.

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Sunday, 8 September 2002 00:08 (twenty-one years ago) link

phoebe is good. can't remember the band name at the moment but there was a female drummer for some indie band from america (oh, Small Factory) called 'Phoebe Summersquash'. which is nice.

http://www.drummergirl.com/interviews/summersquash.html

and then there's 'Romeo Challenger' from Showaddywaddy, obviously where the beckhams got the idea.

andy

― koogs, Monday, 9 September 2002 07:31 (twenty-one years ago) link

swindon town's aussie winger danny invincible.

― michael w., Monday, 9 September 2002 08:45 (twenty-one years ago) link

Skipping 13 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

do you get to pick your confirmation name?

― youn, Thursday, 19 September 2002 02:09 (twenty-one years ago) link

Frank DiSleazo. A pity it's not real.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 19 September 2002 04:50 (twenty-one years ago) link

do you get to pick your confirmation name?

Yeah. Well, at least I got to. I was told later on that I should have picked the name of a saint, not just any old name I liked. But they didn't make me change it.

― Arthur (Arthur), Thursday, 19 September 2002 05:44 (twenty-one years ago) link

greg kitten's pretty cool. right, kids?

― g-kit (g-kit), Thursday, 19 September 2002 12:55 (twenty-one years ago) link

I want to name something Lafcadio, but I suppose I would have to get another cat or other wee creature in order to do that.

― Nicole (Nicole), Thursday, 19 September 2002 13:04 (twenty-one years ago) link

Napoleon Murphy Brock

― James Larcombe, Thursday, 19 September 2002 14:36 (twenty-one years ago) link

The Real World: Las Vegas contains people named Trishelle, Brynn, Irulan, Arissa and Alton. This makes me very very happy.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 19 September 2002 14:52 (twenty-one years ago) link

Member of the English 66 World Cup winners the brilliantly named Nobby Stiles.

― gazza, Thursday, 19 September 2002 15:30 (twenty-one years ago) link

ZELDA!

― di smith (lucylurex), Friday, 20 September 2002 01:26 (twenty-one years ago) link

Marilyn Monore used to use the psuedonym ...Zelda Zonk....God Bless Her.............

― gazza, Friday, 20 September 2002 12:17 (twenty-one years ago) link

All those dirty ones are great and I just couldn't compete. But my favourite real name of today not relating to penises would still have to be Mimsy Farmer. There was a girl at my school called Buffy Pussell which my granny used to find hilarious too. Pseudonyms don't count because you don't have to live with them, I reckon...

― alex, Friday, 20 September 2002 13:02 (twenty-one years ago) link

one year passes...

Excellent corporate name culled from today's data entry:

Weston Benshoof Rochefor Rubalcava MacCuish LLP

Stunning. Even better if you try shouting it out loud.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Friday, 9 January 2004 18:09 (twenty years ago) link

at work we got a letter from...
The Law Offices of Filarsky and Watt

sounds like a comedy team to me...

― Orbit (Orbit), Saturday, 10 January 2004 08:24 (twenty years ago) link

Watt?

― not aja (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 10 January 2004 12:34 (twenty years ago) link

There's a girl at Exeter Uni called Foxy Demeanour. This always causes much confusion/hilarity in the library. Sadly I think she may have left at the end of last academic year.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Saturday, 10 January 2004 12:36 (twenty years ago) link

three years pass...

Yeading FC reserve defender Jazz Rose

http://www.playerhistory.com/Default.aspx?page=player_details&playerID=93610&cCareerID=708241

― Dom Passantino, Monday, 26 March 2007 17:56 (seventeen years ago) link

The author of The Picture Guide to Learning Guitar : Arthur Dick

Also, pity poor Everton midfielder Nicky Butt. The surname's bad enough, but when matched with Nicholas as a first name? WTF were his parents thinking???

― tom, Monday, 26 March 2007 20:09 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh, and swimmer Misty Hyman

― tom, Monday, 26 March 2007 20:10 (seventeen years ago) link

Former major league baseball player Rusty Kuntz is far and away the best name I've ever heard.

― Bill Bary, Monday, 26 March 2007 23:28 (seventeen years ago) link

Radek Bonk of the Ottowa Snators!

― Abbott, Monday, 26 March 2007 23:30 (seventeen years ago) link

had a friend get a speeding ticket once from Office Joe Justice.

― the table is the table, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 00:58 (seventeen years ago) link

Does "Fab Sheath" still work as a cashier in your bank, Dr C? Do you even have a local bank branch any more, or has it changed into a trendy wine bar?

― C J, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 07:31 (seventeen years ago) link

Radek Bonk went to the Mtl Canadiens in 2004 :)

but sports are a wicked way to find fun names, see this I love Baseball thread.

― Will M., Tuesday, 27 March 2007 15:53 (seventeen years ago) link

I have just come across somebody called David Ponce Pie.

― Madchen, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 11:52 (seventeen years ago) link

Some of my new co-workers:

Annabel Else
Venus Speedwell

― Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 11:54 (seventeen years ago) link

my boss's new PA is called M4rsha Pr0vidence, which i think rocks.

― CharlieNo4, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 12:10 (seventeen years ago) link

<a href=http://news.findlaw.com/ap/o/51/04-03-2007/a4a400067195e045.html>Swedish couple fight for right to name their baby 'Metallica'</a>

― Oilyrags, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 23:08 (seventeen years ago) link

Hmmmm...

Swedish couple fight for right to name their baby 'Metallica'

Ahhh!

― Oilyrags, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 23:09 (seventeen years ago) link

I worked in IT recruitment years ago and once had an applicant from India called Anus Aiken.

― Hard like armour, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 23:12 (seventeen years ago) link

one month passes...

Preci0us Marf0ri.

― Drooone, Friday, 18 May 2007 01:43 (sixteen years ago) link

Jermsak Techadech.

― jim, Friday, 18 May 2007 01:48 (sixteen years ago) link

― Andi Mags, Friday, 18 May 2007 02:27 (sixteen years ago) link

Also, there is a wonderful bluegrass performer whose actual name ("god-given" as I overheard another concert attendant say) is Langhorne Slim.

― Andi Mags, Friday, 18 May 2007 02:28 (sixteen years ago) link

An old math teacher of mine told me that she once taught a set of identical twins who were named Lenmonjello and Orangello (with a j sound, not a hard G) respectively. Unfortunately I was not privy to the last name.

-- Andi Mags, Thursday, May 17, 2007 10:27 PM (41 minutes ago)

i heard that second hand... miami?

― lfam, Friday, 18 May 2007 03:10 (sixteen years ago) link

lol nvm

― lfam, Friday, 18 May 2007 03:25 (sixteen years ago) link

To change your name by Deed Poll in the UK costs just £34. Including VAT. You can do it instantly online here. Exercise your democratic right and change your name today! Or do it for a friend! I suggest either 'Bumptious Skimpster' or 'Piss Pot'.

― Huey in Melbourne, Friday, 18 May 2007 03:35 (sixteen years ago) link

http://www.317x.com/albums/h/dickhyman/enlargement.jpg

― PappaWheelie V, Friday, 18 May 2007 03:42 (sixteen years ago) link

one year passes...

Farrah is the only name I like

― Bright Future (sunny successor), Wednesday, 17 September 2008 16:27 (fifteen years ago) link

one month passes...

Lyndon Borrow

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 27 October 2008 18:33 (fifteen years ago) link

my friend was doing research a few years ago, and stumbled upon this author of an article on HIV vaccines:

Ashri Kamedaputi. As in, "I Shriek, I Made a Pootie."

― the table is the table, Monday, 27 October 2008 22:14 (fifteen years ago) link

that said, I am a fan of:
- Levon (one of my good friends!)
- Nayeem (another friend)
- Lyndon (or Linden, a good friend's cousin)

― the table is the table, Monday, 27 October 2008 22:16 (fifteen years ago) link

I am totally looking forward to the name "Barack" becoming relatively common within the next generation or so.

― i fuck mathematics, Monday, 27 October 2008 22:35 (fifteen years ago) link

one month passes...

Jem Stone

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 27 November 2008 14:12 (fifteen years ago) link

seriously

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 27 November 2008 14:12 (fifteen years ago) link

two months pass...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/west_midlands/7897258.stm?lss

Bob Sleigh, deputy leader of Solihull Council, lives on the same street and said the couple and their children were "just an ordinary family".

― Shallow Gravy (Billy Dods), Thursday, 19 February 2009 09:09 (fifteen years ago) link

one year passes...

Col. Many-Bears Grinder

― something of an astrological coup (tipsy mothra), Sunday, 16 January 2011 16:59 (thirteen years ago) link

nine months pass...

Lindsay (equally good for m or f - or "the third sex" - or "the nth sex"),
-elizabeth anne marjorie, Monday, April 22, 2002 1:00 AM

funny that since i know a female to male transgender called that who's changed their name to something else. Maybe she should rethink since she had a gender neutral name to begin with?

― Stevolende, Wednesday, 9 November 2011 16:20 (twelve years ago) link

Four year old refutation, but for the record:

Also, there is a wonderful bluegrass performer whose actual name ("god-given" as I overheard another concert attendant say) is Langhorne Slim.
― Andi Mags, Thursday, May 17, 2007 9:28 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Langhorne Slim is an American singer-songwriter, (born Sean Scolnick on August 20, 1980 in Langhorne, Pennsylvania.

― Blue Doggie Sweater (Dan Peterson), Wednesday, 9 November 2011 17:47 (twelve years ago) link

one year passes...

met this dude named Rich Guido the other day. LULZ!

― Poliopolice, Saturday, 22 December 2012 16:38 (eleven years ago) link

one year passes...

I met a guy whose middle name was "Danger" something like Jason Danger Patterson. Then I found this:

From the UK Deed Poll Office Online :

" One of the most popular middle names added is Danger, inspiration for which comes from the film Austin Powers, International Man Of Mystery where the character Austin Powers, upon being being released from custody, tells a guard "Danger is my middle name." Every week, there is at least one Deed Poll to someone who makes Danger their middle name. " - http://www.ukdeedpolloffice.org/

Makes sense now haha

― JaniseH, Friday, 12 September 2014 11:45 (nine years ago) link

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