Road Rage etiquette

Driving to work this morning, I came off a sliproad and into a smallish gap in the fast lane. Traffic was moving slowly and there was no danger & no need for braking. Nevertheless, the guy behind me starts flashing his lights at me. So we have a bit of handbags - I let my car slow down a bit to piss him off, I look in the mirror and he's gesturing angrily at me, so I give him the finger in silhouette (the little finger, for some reason - it just feels like the correct one to use while driving), he probably gestures some more. And that's it, normal driving resumes, keeping up with traffic and so on.

However, and this is where it gets a little awkward, the traffic thins out very soon thereafter, and he and I are then together and more or less alone for the next twenty miles pretty much nose-to-tail. We're both observing the speed limit, I can see him clearly in my mirror, occasionally he overtakes me and occasionally I overtake him. The rage passed quickly and I don't do anything to resume the fight and neither does he (though I did see him leaning over in my direction the first time he passed me, to which I did not respond).

What's happened here? Should I have continued to flip him the finger for the next twenty minutes? Should I have escalated matters somehow? Does the fact that I didn't mean that I lost?

I let my car slow down a bit to piss him off

why did you do this

cos fukem

driving equivalent of a 'escuseme?' raised eyebrow

I let my car slow down a bit to piss him off
why did you do this

That's kind of what I mean, though - he's flashing at me for nothing, I feel I have to do something or I'm just bending over and taking it. But how far do I need to go? It would have been ridiculous to keep blowing him raspberries for twenty miles, but then again by not doing so I feel like I lose. It's quite unsatisfying

your mistake was in sticking to the speed limit. shoulda smoked dude out.

But even that's a catch 22 - if I speed up, I'm running like a coward; if I slow down, I'm deferring to the alpha male. I could've pulled over and demanded satisfaction, but that seems a bit formal. Plus there's always the chance it could've been Kenneth Noye on day release

Am I the only driver here that couldn't give a shite if you wanna get in front?

Like, your life sucks so badly you have to get to wherever that 30 seconds faster?

Hey, go for it. I'm having a cool time!

perhaps you need to behave in the most gentlemanly of manners:

pull over to the side of the road and propose a duel.

if I speed up, I'm running like a coward

lie bomb.

in practice, mark g has the correct answer.

I usually just ignore such people. if they're being arsey, get out of their way and let them go bother someone else. Not escalating was the correct choice, although it's frustrating, I understand that. Alternatively, mount a pair of rearward-firing .50 cal Brownings in yr trunk for use in similar situations in future.

When someone's an asshole to me in traffic I like pretending I'm really happy and friendly, letting them do whatever show-off, dominant tricks they want and smiling and waving. This is another way of being an asshole, of course, but it doesn't result in anything escalating and it really makes me laugh.

hahahaha dude, never drive in france - if you react like this to a little bright-flashing you will never survive having dudes in BMWs park right on your ass as you go 120km down the autoroute

LOL @ Europeans living in countries where the other guy's not packing heat.

the trick is to wait until you get to the lights and be in front of them, then the lights turn green you wait until the lights are back to amber and then on the brink of red you drive through.

Yeah, but what if you stall? This was a no-win situation, I see now. I need some tricks like Maria's, if only to make myself feel better. My dad, when challenged after e.g. jumping a queue, likes to smile smugly at the guy and tap his forehead

http://exclamationmark.files.wordpress.com/2006/09/duel_1971.jpg

I feel I have to do something or I'm just bending over and taking it.

what you need to do is get over the idea that having a dude blink his lights at you means you are "bending over and taking it".

taking it right in the boot, get in there

boot(us)trunk(/us)

fanny

a friend of mine's gf was stopped at a semi-busy intersection with lots of foot-traffic in broad daylight a few weeks ago when the car behind her starts honking at her. the light's still red, so she leans out and is all "WTF is yr problem?!" to which the dude yells, "bitch I've got a gun." she's pretty shocked, but she quickly ducks her head back in the car and lets the guy go around her.

My suggestion: clandestinely follow him home, wait for the cover of night, and then set his house and car on fire. It might be overkill, but i think sending a message is important.

what you need to do is get over the idea that having a dude blink his lights at you means you are "bending over and taking it".

― goole, 03 November 2008 17:26 (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

but seriously- i don't think that totally ignoring unprovoked antagonisation on the road is a good thing?

what you need to do is get over the idea that having a dude blink his lights at you means you are "bending over and taking it".

OTM. Sounds like some Marcellus Wallace-style "you feel that? That's PRIDE fuckin' with you" stuff.

only assholes care about shit like this, so stop being an asshole and just drive safely

I tell everyone this story, but a friend of mine cut off someone on a Friday night in downtown Atlanta. The car he cut off tailed my friend for a half mile then pulled up beside his car. A huge dude jumps out of the car and pounds on my buddy's window. My buddy cracks the window, sprays the guy right in the face with mace, and then peels off with his life.

However, and this is where it gets a little awkward, the traffic thins out very soon thereafter, and he and I are then together and more or less alone for the next twenty miles pretty much nose-to-tail. We're both observing the speed limit, I can see him clearly in my mirror, occasionally he overtakes me and occasionally I overtake him. The rage passed quickly and I don't do anything to resume the fight and neither does he (though I did see him leaning over in my direction the first time he passed me, to which I did not respond).

I recently saw a Judge Judy that revolved around this very situation. Both drivers were in the courtroom. I don't remember how it was resolved, but she was VERY angry at both of them. So I suggest you take Omar and Goole's advice.

I always thought the gentle slowdown was the safest maneuver. Don't slam on your breaks, but if it's not safe for you to speed up (or move over, or for the other guy to move over), it's one way to hint that they don't need to be riding your ass.

but seriously- i don't think that totally ignoring unprovoked antagonisation on the road is a good thing?

it's absolutely a good thing. he flashed his high beams. who cares. keep driving. the "gentle slowdown" is bs too. you're not on the road to educate people or drop hints or whatever, you're there to get somewhere.

heres the real question: were you on yr cellphone?

when you merged, i mean?

No!

did you tip him?

See, this is why when my rear-view mirror has fallen off the window twice now, I never bother to put it back up.

goole, having someone ride your ass isn't safe. Taking measures to not have them a foot off your bumper is the smartest thing you can do.

if murder were easier to get away with i might of killed 1000+ people during road rage in the last 3 years.

fine, change lanes or something then, or let him go around you, or even speed up. your ability to influence how other people are driving, by using your own car, is really limited.

someone who is driving like a dick and tailgating isn't going to thoughtfully back away because of the "gentle slowdown", they're more likely gonna just get pissed off.

It's not road rage until contact is made.

some people just tailgate. it doesn't even mean anything, they just don't know that it's not normal to get right up next to the person in front of them.

Once I gave a dirty look to a dude in the fast lane who was only doing about 70mph. When I passed him I saw that he was my boss's boss. Whups. Then he brought it up at work. Double whups.

You don't seem to be reading me goole. If you have options, by all means use them - if it's someone harassing you and you don't, then you need to do something about them tailgating. I spend 3-4 hours a day driving on Interstate highways, for what it's worth.

I don't care about them 'thoughtfully' backing off, I care about them backing the fuck off - if they realize their behavior isn't going to have its intended result, then generally they back the fuck off. Why they're tailgating doesn't matter - it's unsafe for everyone around them.

I saw some epic road rage yesterday, I really am enjoying speculating in my mind abt how it could have been caused......

.....two lanes of traffic in each direction, fairly busy road and during rush hour. I am going westbound down a p steep hill; going eastbound I see traffic in the left lane is stopped and abt 6-7 cars are lined behind one car w its drivers side door open. I figure it is an accident or something but a second or two later I notice there are two dudes BRAWLING w each other, full on wrestling, kicking, punching each other in the face it was nuts. keep in mind this is the middle of a busy road at rush hour on a steep incline. one dude had earbuds dangling from his neck. they were mostly in my westbound left lane so I got to the right lane and got passed them and kept going down the hill O_O

I didn't see any evidence of a crash btwn the car in position 1 in line and the car behind it; like could they both have been in the 1st car together and something so bad was said or done that they would stop in the middle of traffic in the left lane and fukkin throw down w each other in traffic??

man i really let this guy have it today lol. i need to chill out.

any road rage tips? at this point it's probably just become a habitual release valve for all my resentments and grievances. anger is weird

pro tip from an ex-school bus driver (me), the absolute worst thing you can do as a driver is not pay full and complete attention to your driving (distracted driving).

When another driver does something irredeemably stupid, which often seems to happen on a minute-by-minute basis, practice saying to yourself "well, gee, look at that, another idiot driver. what a surprise!" then... let it go. Because the moment you lose your patience and equanimity it rapidly becomes yet another path to distracted driving.

for sure. i guess the trick is short-circuiting the emotional response. i've gotten reasonably ok at controlling anxiety through catching myself and re-calibrating. but with road rage the reaction seems instantaneous, just impossible to interrupt it. i gotta make an effort to practice, i guess. maybe also just sit in the car for a moment before i take off, just to breath and get in a good state of mind.

any road rage tips?

w/ me it became "let me think of the worst possible thing a motherfucker could do to me in this sitch and let me think of what the best possible outcome me getting my rocks off temporarily by antagonizing him and if A > B, just fuckin move over and let the dude have his small victory".

the one thing though I still can't take is someone who flashes lights in the right lane. I'm already in the slow lane motherfucker, what are you asking me to do here?

also I started riding w/ my dad and hearing him say the same shit I would say (cos I clearly got it from him) and saw how stupid it looked as an outside observer.

any road rage tips?

maybe, but first it's important to know whether you're raging because other people are driving aggressively and almost killing you, or because other people are making mistakes and driving slowly in the passing lane and blocking your progress

um the former is road rage, the latter is just being a disgusting savage

oh wait I misread

Slow ppl don't really bother me, even when they end up holding up traffic for miles and miles via chaos effect or w/e.... I just get bemused

To the extent that I'm able, I give other drivers a wide berth so that they can all be terrible in a way that doesn't directly affect me. Seems to work.

The safest place to drive on high speed roads is between packs. It is worth adjusting your speed to place yourself in that position as much as possible.

Saw someone *losing it a bit* on the A34 today - waving his arms out of the window, sticking his finger up, getting disproportionately angry and so on - and thought "What a sad man". I vowed to stop gesticulating.