HEY JEWS

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Pesach is upon us. Who up in this bitch is keeping Kosher for Passover?

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 14:38 (eleven years ago) link

Nope. My excuse is that my wife wouldn't tolerate it, but really it's me, not her.

otm in new york (G00blar), Monday, 6 April 2009 14:40 (eleven years ago) link

Yep. With family for Passover and they're huge kosher-keepers, so we're also kosher-keepers by default.

Mordy, Monday, 6 April 2009 14:42 (eleven years ago) link

I'm all for eating some matzah, but no way I'm koshering my kitchen.

Also: not actually Jewish, so technically not obligated to do shit.

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 14:42 (eleven years ago) link

i'm invited to a house for passover where they'll be drinking and smoking lots of trees

Surmounter, Monday, 6 April 2009 14:47 (eleven years ago) link

Haha, ditto. Possibly the same one.

What does koshering actually involve, anyway? I'm vaguely aware of boiling water and possibly some earth or dirt or something? I know you can kosher stainless steel sinks and dishwashers etc but not ceramic or enamel ones. It must be enough of a pain that people cover their counters for Passover rather than deal with it.

strut around with a candle looking for leavened shit

s1ocki, Monday, 6 April 2009 14:56 (eleven years ago) link

Okay so I read this thread title to the tone/pace of the sample starting Front 242's 'Welcome to Paradise.'

Ned Raggett, Monday, 6 April 2009 14:58 (eleven years ago) link

xxp

My parents fill their sinks with boiling water, then drop a burning hot brick into the water in the sink until it overflows on the counter. I think that's how they kasher their sinks. I know one guy who uses a blowtorch.

Mordy, Monday, 6 April 2009 15:06 (eleven years ago) link

whoa

s1ocki, Monday, 6 April 2009 15:06 (eleven years ago) link

Oh yeah. You can't really blow-torch the Corian, can you. I guess I assumed you'd have to get a rabbi in for the ritual re-purification. Is that actually a DIY project? Cool!

We got offered a couple of really cheap apartments in a Lubavitch nabe, until they found out my roomie has a dog. But I specified that we wouldn't be a religious household, or keep kosher, and they were like, whatever, we can take care of that. So...really? The oven, too?

Self-cleaning oven.

Mordy, Monday, 6 April 2009 15:12 (eleven years ago) link

And yeah, this stuff can all be done DIY style. As long as you know the laws, there's nothing you need a Rabbi for.

Mordy, Monday, 6 April 2009 15:13 (eleven years ago) link

Awesome. I do love the endless ingenuity, practical AND theological.

I'm celebrating Passover by saying something about it on the internet.

Zero Transfats Waller (Oilyrags), Monday, 6 April 2009 15:41 (eleven years ago) link

we have some matzah in the house and will probably be going to a seder. I don't bother with the kosherness, I ain't wandering in any stupid desert.

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 15:52 (eleven years ago) link

i really like passover, am i crazy?

cutty, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:04 (eleven years ago) link

no its usually my fave

s1ocki, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:11 (eleven years ago) link

i bought kosher for passover coke yesterday. it's delicious.

right thread, Ned (mizzell), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:14 (eleven years ago) link

ooh nice

s1ocki, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:16 (eleven years ago) link

it's like thanksgiving, in april, without bread

cutty, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:18 (eleven years ago) link

OH SHIT PASSOVER COKE. Need.

I am going to a seder (my first), but because the hostess can't do it on the usual night(s), we're doing it on the 18th. Pseudo-seder. But I'm still psyched. Might try to sort of keep kosher-ish just to see what it's like.

Ooooh and I'm in charge of making charoset for the pseudo-seder, so recipes pls!

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:24 (eleven years ago) link

lol i read that coke thing really wrong.
xposts

tehresa, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:25 (eleven years ago) link

Also: how much hebrew vs. english at your seder?

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:25 (eleven years ago) link

I never understood why anything other than unleavened bread is necessary though? I mean no bread as a symbol/reminder of events passed makes sense, keeping kosher out of respect for the period I can see, but, like not being allowed to eat corn? What's up with that?

mehlt, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:32 (eleven years ago) link

um are you unfamiliar with the passover story or what

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:33 (eleven years ago) link

oh snap

s1ocki, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:35 (eleven years ago) link

During Passover, Jews refrain from eating chometz: anything that contains barley, wheat, rye, oats, and spelt, and is not cooked within 18 minutes after coming in contact with water. No leavening is allowed. This signifies the fact that the Hebrews had no time to let their bread rise as they made a hurried escape from Egypt.
Jews of different backgrounds do not observe all of the same rules. Ashkenazi Jews, who come from Europe (most Jews in America), also avoid corn, rice, peanuts, and legumes as they are also used to make bread and may have other grains mixed in. These items are known as kitniyot.

mizzell, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:35 (eleven years ago) link

I thought it was anything that swells in contact with water? Or something like that. No corn syrup, in any case, which gives us delicious REAL SUGAR COKE.

The Torah instructs a Jew not to eat (or even possess) chometz all seven days of Passover (Exodus 13:3). "Chometz" is defined as any of the five grains (wheat, spelt, barley, oats, and rye) that came into contact with water for more than 18 minutes. This is a serious Torah prohibition, and for that reason we take extra protective measures on Passover to prevent any mistakes.

Which brings us to another category of food called "kitniyot" (sometimes referred to generically as "legumes"). This includes rice, corn, soy beans, string beans, peas, lentils, peanuts, mustard, sesame seeds and poppy seeds. Even though kitniyot cannot technically become chometz, Ashkenazi Jews do not eat them on Passover. Why?

The Smak (Rabbi Moshe of Kouchi, 13th century, France) explains that products of kitniyot appear like chometz products. For example, it can be hard to distinguish between rice flour (kitniyot) and wheat flour (chometz). Therefore, to prevent confusion, all kitniyot was prohibited.

mizzell, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:40 (eleven years ago) link

I'm throwing myself in with the Sephardic camp this year.

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:42 (eleven years ago) link

Take a Hot Dog
and make it Kosher

the drummer from the hilarious 1990's Britpop act Gay Dad (wanko ergo sum), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:45 (eleven years ago) link

Oh makes more sense, and yes, I know the story, but I'm wondering why go so much further than just bread, I mean, Matzah is just unleavened bread, still has wheat in it and all, it's not like they didn't have enough time to cook pasta when escaping Egypt.

mehlt, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:46 (eleven years ago) link

Keep hearing the spoken intro to "One Step Beyond" when I see this thread title.

•--• --- --- •--• (Pleasant Plains), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:47 (eleven years ago) link

Which is to say, eating corn is a long ways away from letting bread rise.

mehlt, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:48 (eleven years ago) link

Keep hearing the spoken intro to "One Step Beyond" when I see this thread title.

Don't eat that - EAT THIS

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:51 (eleven years ago) link

passover is a great holiday.
G R E A T

BUT, the Haggadahs have not arrived in the mail from my grandfather yet and I'm also getting a bit nervous about seating... also, anyone have a good veggie matzoh ball soup recipe? vegetarians certainly won't eat teh brisket.

ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:55 (eleven years ago) link

good god how do vegetarians ever survive during Passover without the grains?

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:58 (eleven years ago) link

apparently quinoa is ok.

mizzell, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:59 (eleven years ago) link

good to qui-know-a

rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:00 (eleven years ago) link

Seven days of quinoa and matzah sounds . . . constipating.

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:00 (eleven years ago) link

Can we turn this thread also into a list of all of the awesome things about being jewish in general?

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:01 (eleven years ago) link

1. Chosen people.
2. Latkes

ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:02 (eleven years ago) link

3. Talmud

ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:03 (eleven years ago) link

4. hot sabbath sex

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:03 (eleven years ago) link

5. Neuroses

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:04 (eleven years ago) link

6. control of the media/money

good god how do vegetarians ever survive during Passover without the grains?

― quincie, Monday, April 6, 2009 11:58 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

This may explain my increased secularism that started around the time I became vegetarian.

mehlt, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:04 (eleven years ago) link

6. Noodle kugel

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:05 (eleven years ago) link

Hola judíos!

never have i been a blue calm sea (collardio gelatinous), Thursday, 10 October 2019 05:15 (seven months ago) link

Hi Jews. I've been felled by a nasty virus and have not made it out of the house, much less to services, in days.

(also: Not Actually Jewish, but Yom Kippur is my favorite)

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Thursday, 10 October 2019 12:15 (seven months ago) link

hope you get well soon. chag sameach

one charm and one antiup quark (outdoor_miner), Thursday, 10 October 2019 14:21 (seven months ago) link

well that was exhausting!

Οὖτις, Thursday, 10 October 2019 14:53 (seven months ago) link

by far the most intense part (for me, anyway) was a side-ceremony, a "healing circle", where people shared their personal struggles. Mostly health related, but just a lot of personal stories about sickness, fear of death etc

Οὖτις, Thursday, 10 October 2019 14:56 (seven months ago) link

followed by a communal rendition of the least-Jewish thing in the whole service (but which I really dig playing), "Wade in the Water"

Οὖτις, Thursday, 10 October 2019 14:56 (seven months ago) link

omg what kind of hippie shul are you attending?

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Thursday, 10 October 2019 17:10 (seven months ago) link

A Reconstructionist one that's focused a lot on social justice/tikkun olam sorta stuff. The healing circle thing was an informal side-thing held in between the main Yom Kippur service and the Ne'ila (it was preceded by a yoga/meditation thing). Normally I wouldn't have gone, but the Rabbi needed a guitarist/accompanist.

Οὖτις, Thursday, 10 October 2019 17:14 (seven months ago) link

Yeah my local Reconstructionist congregation is somehow both more and less hippy than the average Reform congregation. It is big on environmental activism but low on acoustic guitars. I like Reconstructionism a lot, am a Kaplan fan, etc., but I admit to eye-rolliness on some of the birkenstock aspects.

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Thursday, 10 October 2019 18:28 (seven months ago) link

quincie convert already! you've done the work

president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Thursday, 10 October 2019 18:42 (seven months ago) link

take the magic bath

president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Thursday, 10 October 2019 18:42 (seven months ago) link

I def prefer our instrumental and audience-participatory set-up to the organ + cantor routine I grew up with. the cellos bring a bit of classical chamber music to it, the clarinet and guitar bring the klezmer/folk side, and then we have a choir. Plus the Rabbi + percussionist hand drumming which adds a sort of Israeli/north african feel to things. idk I guess that's pretty hippy but I like it.

Οὖτις, Thursday, 10 October 2019 18:43 (seven months ago) link

There's also a couple classically trained vocal soloists, one handled Kol Nidre etc

Οὖτις, Thursday, 10 October 2019 18:44 (seven months ago) link

A friend had a great facebook debate going on his wall about some nu-YK prayer where you congratulate yourself for your good deeds in addition to confessing your sins. It turned out it was created by the founder of "open orthodox" judaism, which was weird because it seemed at least as hippy-dippy and revisionist as anything you find in the reconstructionist movement.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 10 October 2019 18:49 (seven months ago) link

Jewish pluralism is a beautiful and nonlinear thing

president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Thursday, 10 October 2019 18:55 (seven months ago) link

...take a sad song, and make it bubbe.

Sassy Boutonnière (ledriver), Friday, 11 October 2019 23:54 (seven months ago) link

We didn't even have an organ, just a solo acapella cantor (which could be very haunting)

change display name (Jordan), Saturday, 12 October 2019 00:16 (seven months ago) link

Our Reform temple is pretty reform, with choir, piano, guitar at times, social justice issues at the fore, etc. But last year I went to a bar mitzvah at a Reconstructionist synagogue in Oakland and boy, did it make our temple look stodgy.

Josh in Chicago, Saturday, 12 October 2019 01:56 (seven months ago) link

There is a lot of singing and dancing

Οὖτις, Saturday, 12 October 2019 02:00 (seven months ago) link

one month passes...

I was in Costco today and waiting in line I heard the (really friendly!) person working the register ask each customer if they were interested in buying any "holiday stamps." Being a smartass, when she asked me I just very dryly asked her "which holiday?" And she kind of paused and said, "well, they've got Santa on them, so ..." And then she realized I was just teasing, because of course it was just Santa. I do think it's kind of lame to bother calling them "holiday stamps" if it's only one holiday represented and how it's represented isn't fooling anyone.

Anyway: hey Jews! Do any of you have a good comparative Judeo-Christian religion book recommendation? I realized only recently that I know next to nothing about Christianity, and not much more about Islam, but they all share so much with Judaism there's got to be a good book about their relationships, textual, historical, etc.

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 26 November 2019 21:35 (five months ago) link

one month passes...

might xpost this to outernational later but figure despite this not being an ilm thread it might be a good place to share this:
https://daily.bandcamp.com/lists/the-hidden-world-of-psychedelic-jewish-folk

Mordy, Thursday, 9 January 2020 22:07 (four months ago) link

what the hell?

that Shmulik Kraus track sounds like a post-Tropicalia Caetano Veloso outtake

Οὖτις, Thursday, 9 January 2020 22:13 (four months ago) link

To offer a disrespectful I Love Comics answer to Josh’s question from November, I found Larry Gonick’s Cartoon History of the Universe books to be (in)decent on that front.

El Tomboto, Thursday, 9 January 2020 22:45 (four months ago) link

You could also go crazy and try the MacCulloch route: https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=126226424

El Tomboto, Thursday, 9 January 2020 22:48 (four months ago) link

Josh - I asked a friend who teaches Judaism, Christianity, Islam and she recommended this text:

https://www.amazon.com/Jews-Christians-Muslims-Introduction-Monotheistic/dp/0205018254

Mordy, Thursday, 9 January 2020 23:49 (four months ago) link

lol at textbook pricing tho

Swilling Ambergris, Esq. (silby), Friday, 10 January 2020 00:09 (four months ago) link

true, might be able to grab a copy through the library? tho $40 for a used textbook isn't a terrible price.

Mordy, Friday, 10 January 2020 00:12 (four months ago) link

it's on the grimly tolerable end certainly.

Swilling Ambergris, Esq. (silby), Friday, 10 January 2020 00:27 (four months ago) link

one month passes...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkQATH3O1H8

Mordy, Tuesday, 18 February 2020 19:37 (three months ago) link

p sure Jews and their cultural/media outlets aren't the source of anti-semitism but ok

New York is combatting anti-Semitism with a new ad campaign featured in Orthodox and Hasidic Jewish print and digital outlets, in addition to social media.

The New York City Commission on Human Rights launched a campaign to fight religious harassment and discrimination and to emphasize the city’s support for its Jewish population. The commission said in a release that the campaign was in response to rising anti-Semitic incidents in the city, the surrounding area and the country.

One of the new ads reads, “Jewish New Yorkers belong here. Anti-Semitism does not.”

The advertisements will be featured in Orthodox and Hasidic Jewish print outlets such as Hamodia, Jewish Press and Mishpacha, as well as online at The Jewish Week and in the NYC Human Rights Commission’s social media.

Οὖτις, Thursday, 20 February 2020 20:20 (three months ago) link

¿?

Swilling Ambergris, Esq. (silby), Thursday, 20 February 2020 20:26 (three months ago) link

Kinda like someone wants to be seen doing something more than they want to do something

Swilling Ambergris, Esq. (silby), Thursday, 20 February 2020 20:27 (three months ago) link

run those ads in the Stormfront newsletter, I hear they need the money

Pierre Delecto, Thursday, 20 February 2020 20:27 (three months ago) link

maybe the ads are more to make the jewish community feel safe and supported rather than convince antisemites to stop hating jews?

Mordy, Thursday, 20 February 2020 20:34 (three months ago) link

that was the only rationale I could come up with

idk how comforting a bunch of dumb ads are when people are getting randomly murderedq

Οὖτις, Thursday, 20 February 2020 20:36 (three months ago) link

three weeks pass...

A friend just had to cancel their daughter's bat mitzvah, which is in less than a month. Rescheduled date tbh. So ... will she have to learn an entirely new torah portion? I assume so!

Josh in Chicago, Friday, 13 March 2020 17:32 (two months ago) link

our community's largest synagogue is not holding services this shabbat for the first time ever

Mordy, Friday, 13 March 2020 17:33 (two months ago) link

we're still having small gathering stuff but I expect the kids' shul activities to shut down shortly. They were bummed about the purim megillah getting cancelled, and a shabbat thing we were gonna do next week is also not happening now.

Οὖτις, Friday, 13 March 2020 17:37 (two months ago) link

(lol not rescheduled date tbh, tbd)

We got a generic warning for those at risk to take extra precautions, but also assurances that our synagogue will absolute abide by any recommendations and will be changing things as needed, either moving them to where there is more space or cancelling them outright.

Josh in Chicago, Friday, 13 March 2020 17:43 (two months ago) link

My wife is the executive director of a synagogue. They're suspending all programs and operations as of today, including Shabbat services. We're in Western Mass. I know some places are going to be livestreaming services to an empty sanctuary.

Lavator Shemmelpennick, Friday, 13 March 2020 17:45 (two months ago) link

Services are still going on here with distancing measures & no kiddush lunch, who knows for how long. We are organizing to shop for older congregants and leave groceries outside their doors.

Guayaquil (eephus!), Friday, 13 March 2020 17:50 (two months ago) link

A lot of older parents gonna be having seder alone this year. Ours are. I just see no way of traveling to their house and staying with them that doesn't involve a real risk of us bringing them virus.

Guayaquil (eephus!), Friday, 13 March 2020 18:46 (two months ago) link

three weeks pass...

So, um, what's the plan, everybody? A friend of mine joked that we're going to see more articles about Zoom seders than actual Zoom seders. The paltry Passover supplies around here get picked over pretty quickly in the best of times, so I hope no one is hoarding the matzoh.

On a slightly different note, current events will certainly lend an awkward vibe to tales of plague, first born and inviting in strangers. Keep your distance, Elijah.

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 6 April 2020 03:39 (one month ago) link

Don’t have the heart to lead a zoom seder but I’m gonna make the dang brisket.

silby, Monday, 6 April 2020 03:41 (one month ago) link

making my first seder without my parents :/ feels sad man

Mordy, Monday, 6 April 2020 04:26 (one month ago) link

Zoom seder with mother-in-law, brisket

Guayaquil (eephus!), Monday, 6 April 2020 04:41 (one month ago) link

I was out walking the dog this week and noticed for the first time that, a few houses down from, they have a minivan with the license plate KOL TOOV.

Bougy! Bougie! Bougé! (Eliza D.), Monday, 6 April 2020 12:44 (one month ago) link

we will have our regular family seder with my mom on Zoom, most likely. I bought all the necessary supplies over the weekend.

Οὖτις, Monday, 6 April 2020 14:55 (one month ago) link

Free Passover crossword puzzle incoming:

This week's crossword is a meta by @AimeeLucido + avcx forever-friend @metabymatt.

It comes with an original drawing by New Yorker cartoonist Robert Leighton, which figures into the meta.

If your family can't be together on Passover, try solving this together remotely!

— American Values Club (@AVCXWord) April 6, 2020

change display name (Jordan), Monday, 6 April 2020 15:48 (one month ago) link

Huh, so I guess it turns out we *are* doing a Zoom seder with our temple. Let's see how that turns out, but it could be worth it for the novelty alone.

Speaking of how things turn out, my younger daughter's bat mitzvah is (still, at least for now) scheduled for September. A lot of her friends had been teasing her for being on the young end, and the last of the bunch to be a bat mitzvah, but in an ironic twist all of their April and May and June services have been rescheduled for October, November, December. So she may end up being among the first!

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 8 April 2020 22:21 (one month ago) link


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