Well I Never

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Ally C has never visited the doctor in 22 years. What have you never done?

― Tom, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

That was a slight lie. He came to my house when I was about 7 and had croop, and I may well have gone as an infant. The point was I had never been before under my own steam, as it were. Sorry. Still, answer the question. I have never seen a full episode of Coronation Street.

― Ally C, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Never bought an avocado - as I believe this board may be aware.

― Pete, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Gulp. Never seen Pretty In Pink.

― Madchen, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

never seen a woman naked who wasnt paid to be seen naked. ( ie artists models, strippers, preformance artists, porn stars)

― anthony, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

never seen Star Wars.
never been to america (soon to change!)

― gareth, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

come up north, we'll show you a good time.

― anthony, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Never eaten oysters, though I would like to. Any offers?

― Emma, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Whistled. Snapped my fingers. I think I may be a subhuman.

― dave q, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I have never eaten a weetabix.

I hadn't eaten oysters until this year, but when I tried them found them to be most delicious indeed.

Madchen, I am ashamed of you.

― cabbage, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

DArling Emma. If i am in your part of the world or you are in my part , we will go to a great restruant and we will eat mussels in limes and chillis, clams in butter and garlic and sauted in with liguine and a brillant white sauce, Oysters raw, rockerfeller and encrusted with sea salt. We will eat quhogs cape cod style. I will gorge you on bivalves.

― anthony, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I have never done a *proper* job interview.

― nathalie (nathalie), Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Killed anyone.

― duane, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

what do you mean nat ?

― anthony, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I have never done a job interview because I was immediately accepted. If I hear people talking about their interview-experiences, it seems like hell.

― nathalie (nathalie), Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

i envy you

― anthony, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I really have never been to a Harvester before.

― Martin, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

well, let me explain the salad cart to you......

― cabbage, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I've never been on a rollercoaster. Or read Life is A Rollercoaster by Ronan Keating.

― Jonnie, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I've never dated a non-caucasian.

― Ally, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I have never seen E.T., Star Wars or played in any reindeer games.

― p f. sloane, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I've never pooped in my pants, post-diapers.

― Jeff, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Jeff - that's a real non-achievement if you're fitted with a colostomy bag

― dave q, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Never gone on a cocaine binge.

― bnw, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Have just been to job interview, it is indeed HELL.

I have never worn Dr Marten boots or shoes.

― alex thomson, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I have never said anythin g useful.

― Mike Hanle y, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Mike you have told me many useful things.

― anthony, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

never sat through a crocodile dundee flick, nor have i watched titanic - didn't king missile have a great song about this, with lyrics like i never was a one leeged pirate with a parot on my shoulder who could recite the entire works of coleridge, or smthing?

― Geoff, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I have never worn any shoes OTHER than Doc Martens since 1975. (Excluding footwear for sport).

― Dr. C, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I never kissed a bear. But I've kissed plenty of goons.

― Arthur, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I have never left Western Europe.

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I've never been arrested, got really drunk, tried smoking, experimented with drugs, had any piercings, got tattoed, been to a club...I got the straight edge, not by design.

― jel, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

realy? maybe it s time for an ego boosting "say things nice about mike " thread. Then I'll be right as dodgers!

― Mike Hanle y, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Never seen EastEnders.

― Robin Carmody, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I've never broken a bone.

― Dan Perry, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I've never had a headache, unless eating ice cream too fast counts.

― Kris, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Dude! I have a headache every day, nonstop. How did you luck out?

― Ally, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

C'mon, Ally, you know you're just saying that to get out of sex again..

― Mitch Lastnamewithheld, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Do you blame me? Sex is horrible.

― Ally, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Sex isn't horrible! It's just not perfect. (Most perfect things aren't quite that gooey.)

Sense tells me that I should delete that...

― Dan Perry, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Argh. I guess it's gotta be better than being puked on violently in bed, but still.

― Ally, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

never heard 'Spacer' by Sheila & B. Devotion and would dearly love to. I'd forgotten about that... where's Napster when you need it

― Loop Dandy, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

man that's a great song! thanx for reminding me of it, i'm gonna dig that out & listen to it right now!

― duane, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I've never had a shot. I've never eaten a hamburger. I've never swallowed a pill. I've never played backgammon.

― Otis Wheeler, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

liar Otis

― Mike Hanley, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

You're right. I have had shots of anaesthetics admitted to the inside of my mouth.

― Otis Wheeler, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I've never been on a plane nor stayed in a hotel.

― Graham, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

liar Graham!

― Mike Hanley, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

i've never pooped on ally.

― Geoff, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

i've never had blood taken. not to donate blood or even for a blood test. i hate needles. i'm sure i wouldn't faint or anything if i did have a blood test. but i'll probably never get around to having one cos the thought of it grosses me out anyway.

― lady die, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Never ridden a bike or a rollercoaster.

Martin: now you have an excuse to come to Crystal Palace (i.e. not just to pick up those CD crates).

― Michael Jones, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

isn't this a drinking game?

― lady die, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Yes it is a drinking game. And wouldn't you know it, SOMEBODY just HAD to say, "I've never masturbated on public transport". Then, they made me explain.

― dave q, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I have never met Sheena Easton.

― Nick, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

i actually have masturbated on public transport, did you need to know that? aeroplanes at least a few times, also once in the back of a bus going over, can't remember, either the Rangitata or the Rakaia bridge at night. I wouldnt do that now, it'd be creepy if a guy my age jacked off on a bus. but hey yr only young once.

― duane, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

so what's YOUR public transp. J.O. story, Dave? spill yr seed!

― duane, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Skytrain, Vancouver, wanted to see if I could get away with it, didn't get as far as busting a nut though as I remembered the presence of video cameras, so to make it look marginally less weird I got up and had a piss on the floor.

― dave q, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

well i've certainly never tried this on public transport. a girl tried to give me a blow job on the bus once, but i'm far too sensible and had to stop her.

― gareth, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

i'm beginning to regret that answer now. oh dear!

― gareth, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

You're right, Gareth. You ARE far too sensible!

― Dan Perry, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I've never given anyone a blow job on a bus before.

― Ally, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

The great thing about ILE is that you never know which of your posts is going to be The One that follows you to your posting grave.

― Tom, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

There is a posting grave? I've never been there either.

― Ally, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Tom, i think i know which one will be following me. look, there were, like, families and kids and shit on that bus ok? it was about 3 in the afternoon. i can't believe i'm talking about this...

― gareth, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I've never shot anyone.

...who didn't, you know, *really* have it coming....

― Chris, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I'm still shaking my head at you, Gareth. My rock-and-roll image of you has been utterly destroyed.

― Dan Perry, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I've never given anyone a blow job on a bus before.

Before when?

― Nick, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Before next time I see you on a bus, cowboy. Etc.

― Ally, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I never went out with Tanya Roberts.

― He's Not Here, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I got a blowjob while on a train. An old man went: "Do you think we dont know what you're doing?!". His eyes were furiously popping out of his head. My girlfriend kept going. We were 14 years old.

― Simon, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

that post would be so much better without the last two sentences.

― ethan, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

"i have never" been so disgusted with reading a thread on ILE before.

― lady die, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

David and I fucked in a greyhound bathroom heading to see my father in Winnipeg. It was 3 am and we thought eveyone was asleep. They were , except for the driver who was amused. He approched us in the station the next morning and thanked for making his night more fun.

― anthony, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I bet he was rubbing the poke... Oh never mind.
I have never eaten a dog nor cat. I hope.

― nathalie (nathalie), Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

That made no sense.

― anthony, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

How is your nose this morning, He's-Not-Here? I think it quite suits you longer.

Mentioning the proper names of exes now we're on google = potential dud. ;)

― Tom, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Hey, but isn't Tanya Roberts like, Sheena of the Jungle, Donna's mom, and a Bond girl to boot?

― Kim, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

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