Name your children the Sarah Palin way!

Oh no! You have too large a brood and too impulsive a naming system to come up with sensitive names for your spawn! What are you going to do?!

If you were drunk/high enough to name yer kids after seemingly arbitrary things in your life at a particular time, what would the members your swollen family circle be dubbed? And remember, they don't actually have to be your standard Anglo/Hebrew-derived names, you can throw in whatever nouns/verbs/adjectives you like!

And next Christmastime, please stop by the homestead and you can meet the youngin's:

iPhone, Pertwee, Smoked, MXR, Anne Arbor, Porter, Solar, and little Nathan Jr.

I've already decided years ago that my child will be called Mustanaamio DJ Slow Alho. "Mustanaamio" is the Finnish name of the comic book character Phantom, literally it means "Blackmask". It's an unisex name, so it doesn't matter if it's a boy or girl.

Jockstrap, Sponge, Turnip, Weasel

Moomin, Cup and Scaffold.

Cup is a girl's name.

graham cracker

Note: you can also use this thread to suggest future names for the ever-expanding Palin clan.

Verizon Palin is but a few short years away!

Naturak Palin

Girl Palin
Queef Palin
Mosey Palin
Saab Palin (too foreign)
Gumby Palin
Doug (Doughnut) Palin

Lamp Palin
Baleen Palin
Bucket Palin

my first born would def be

Dorito Palin

Lunch Palin

And don't worry about holding back, esp. since she already has a grandkid named after a hockey stick manufacturer

Em Palin

tbh I think her kids have pretty dope names

oh yeah? TRACK?

I guess I'd go with Babolat, Donnay and, er...Head.

Trundle
Springer
Sheffield
Almond

what's wrong with Track???

Well nothing, if only his middle name had been Mark

/custos

test tube, microfiber, george foreman, subscription card

spetsnaz, tuber, juleecruise, balls

activia, febreze, zinc oxide

tooth fairy

breeder, bruiser, juvie

fruit

russia

Styx

wassily

Diesel, Columns and Surestart

database, tuna

plaque

http://media.myfoxphilly.com/slideshows/palinhunting/1/imgLg/Palin,%20then%20Sarah%20Heath,%20holding%20the%201980-1981%20Wasilla%20High%20School%20Girl_s%20Cross%20Country%20Running%20championship%20trophy%20in%20Wasilla.jpg

fab updo palin

Fanzine (not a bad girl's name actually)
Mixtape
Marvel Zombie

turf, bard, and transom

(gasp) Palin

xpost the new tall, dark, and handsome?

turd, barf, and transom.

Nostradamus El Camino

Roy, Arby, Hardee, Wendy, and Denny

Magnolia, Frederica, Milton, Dover, and Seaford

Bryan Ferry, Almond, Fellatio, Remote, and Cream.

Screen
Pen
Mouse
Keyboard

all good names

Pepper. Salt. Aioli. Vinegar. Mustard. Guacamole. Ranch. Dip. Relish. Pickle. Tartar.

Accident.

Auchenshuggle, Remy Martin, Volkswagen, Xbox.

Electabuzz, Squirtle, Charizard, Geodude, Link

Preamp
Backup
Wiki
Fisma

Ilxor

Nazi

Deuce

i hate this woman like you couldn't believe but this thread is a little gross

Mac, Erb, Catan and Battlestar Galactica.

sugban

goole otm

I am sincerely and non-defensively interested in why you think this thread is gross. As in, I'm not going to argue with your reasons, I just really want to know for my own personal edification/desire to avoid participating in gross things.

Accident

^^^winner

custos

Mingetta and Flaps

I am sincerely and non-defensively interested in why you think this thread is gross.

Me too. I mean, names generally are meaningless to me, so making fun of them seems like fair game.

For twins:

Nook and Cranny
Kit and Kaboodle

When my friend and I found out she had a child named Trig we were really tempted to take a vow to name the first child to come out of one of us Dif EQ (pronounced 'diffy-Q,' natch).

tbh I think her kids have pretty dope names

me too, actually!

I knew a Korean family and the kids names were Happy, Apple, Dimple and Fencil.

I also went to school with girls named Tanqueray Holl0way and Remington Steele Brund4ge. Is this what happens when you're born in a land full of hunters (here, rural Idaho)?

Funniest real family I know of, incidentally: four brothers called Eddy, Reddy, Freddy and Paul.

I cannot help but imagine one of those brothers being Indian and slightly confused

I'd have to go with my two favorite names I ran across while teaching in China:

Demon and F-1

Saturn Gray, Vernon Rise, Comstock Hall and Vivaldi

Remington Steele Brund4ge

^ This is pretty great.

ZS - are you serious about the "F-1" because I met a kid from Thailand named "D-2" and NOBODY EVER BELIEVES ME but it's true! D-2!

Yep. I think it was an attempt at a literal translation of his Chinese name, because I asked him to spell his Chinese name and the second character was "1".

Traverse Palin

x-post a ha! May be similar explanation for D-2 then.

Friend of mine was on holiday in, I think, Florida, it might have been somewhere else in North America because he was also in New York and Toronto during the trip, but I'm fairly sure it was Florida, and he met a man who had named his son Dalton after Patrick Swayze's character in Roadhouse.

Not the unit of measurement? ;_;

I would bet on Florida for that one too