Best Response To Criticism

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There was this Zen monk called Nantembo, who died nearly 100 years ago. Zen has a strong tradition of art and calligraphy in Japan, and he was highly regarded. Many people asked him for paintings of the sixth century Indian buddhist regarded as the begetter of Zen, Daruma. Many of the recipients of these then complained that Daruma looked more like an owl or an octopus than a revered religious forefather. Nantenbo's wonderful response to this criticism was "Very interesting. People talk as if they have seen Daruma." That's the way to deal with these people. He also carried a big stick (thus his name), and was ever willing to use it, which may have also quieted criticism.

So there are loads of critics here: what is the best response to criticism you've seen, whatever the art form?

― Martin Skidmore, Thursday, 20 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"(blank) can just...eat a dick."

― jess, Thursday, 20 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I was under the impression that sometimes that is precisely what is desired.

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 20 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Beverly Knight's management finding my review of the first single from her new album "highly puerile". I said she'd stolen Michelle Gayle's face.

― Dom Passantino, Thursday, 20 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Surely the oft-quoted, "Dear Sir, I am in the smallest room of my house. Your review is in front of me. Soon it will be behind me" (usually attributable to composer Max Reger).

Also good are LIberace's "Dear Sirs, your latest review hurt me very much. I cried all the way to the bank..."

A third: Michaelangelo (?), replying to a cardinal who suggested that one of the Apostles in The Last Supper had too much red on his face: "He blushes to see into whose hands the Church has fallen."

― Joe, Thursday, 20 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"thank you for your criticism" is my favourite...as used by Alice the bot.

― jel --, Friday, 21 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Veruca Salt (picking nose): "Chewing gum is a dirty habit."
Willie Wonka: "I know a worse one."

― felicity, Wednesday, 26 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

two months pass...

Ooh, I just came across another good one, from the great 14th Century Chinese master Ni Zan. A patron complained that a bamboo painting of his didn't look like bamboo at all. He said "Ah, but a total lack of resemblance is hard to achieve; not everyone can manage it." The criticism isn't as good as saying that the forefather of Zen looked like an octopus, but the response is even better.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 13 September 2002 22:02 (twenty-three years ago)

"also, [xxx], I fucked your girl"

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Friday, 13 September 2002 23:21 (twenty-three years ago)

'yo check it man your wifey sorta reminds me of that jody beth girl'

― simon trife (simon_tr), Saturday, 14 September 2002 07:52 (twenty-three years ago)

Leave it w/ the personal attacks Simon please.

Being a Zen monk sounds a right laugh. Did they do anything else apart from sitting round painting crap pictures and getting arsey?

― Tom (Groke), Saturday, 14 September 2002 07:56 (twenty-three years ago)

Ive always found a simple - Fuck You, shithead - to be most empowering.

― gazza, Saturday, 14 September 2002 08:05 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah it does sound quite cool, "get a job", " but have you seen the mess I made in the kitchen?????"

― Ronan (Ronan), Saturday, 14 September 2002 09:58 (twenty-three years ago)

surely the moral of the story here is the big stick.

― bob zemko (bob), Saturday, 14 September 2002 10:07 (twenty-three years ago)

tom your girl reminds me of jody beth but i fucked her anyway

― simon trife (simon_tr), Saturday, 14 September 2002 10:22 (twenty-three years ago)

Where's my big stick?

― Tom (Groke), Saturday, 14 September 2002 13:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Stern John

― gareth (gareth), Saturday, 14 September 2002 14:16 (twenty-three years ago)

Do you like Hitler?

― Nicole (Nicole), Saturday, 14 September 2002 15:20 (twenty-three years ago)

go eat a statscock

― david h (david h), Saturday, 14 September 2002 21:42 (twenty-three years ago)

Sid Vicious: "So you're this Freddie Platinum bloke, trying to preach ballet to the masses?"
Freddie Mercury: "Ah, Mr. Ferocious! We're trying our best, dear..."

― Joe (Joe), Saturday, 14 September 2002 22:23 (twenty-three years ago)

I have a friend who studied film at UCLA. One of her guest lecturers was a big-time Hollywood producer. At the end of his very informative session, he opened up the floor to questions. A student asked: "What do you say to people who give you bad reviews." His answer to a collection of film theory grad-students studying Metz, Mulvey, Lacan etc: "Hey, blow me."

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Saturday, 14 September 2002 22:29 (twenty-three years ago)

laura m. used to work across the corridor from me: i doubt this response wd phase her much somehow

― mark s (mark s), Saturday, 14 September 2002 22:53 (twenty-three years ago)

Lack of education seems widespread on this board.

― Fred, Sunday, 15 September 2002 21:56 (twenty-three years ago)

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