Should I follow the girl I'm falling in love with across the country?

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She's already moved to Seattle, some 2000 miles away. We only dated for five months, but we spent a lot of time together and we clicked instantly. I'm 26, and I've had one serious relationship in my life - 5 years long and ended 2 years ago. I've dated four people since then, including the girl I'm falling for. We have a lot in common, but we also have a lot of differences. I'm attracted to her, great sex, great conversation. More than anything, we became really good friends and I miss her for that reason as much (if not more) than any other. She's really the first girl I've dated that I felt like I was friends with (we get along great). She left about 4 weeks ago. There are other reasons that a move would be good for me (don't like my job, want to experience a different area of the country), and I was thinking about moving to a different city before I met her. But I can't leave for a few months regardless. I don't know what other pertinent details I should share...Just looking for a bit of advice, especially from someone who has been in my shoes before. Pardon me if I'm a moron for posting this here.

― alan is thenoiseboy, Thursday, 20 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

If nothing else is really keeping you where you are, go for it!

― electric sound of jim, Thursday, 20 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Do it. Does she know your considering this? Make sure she feels the same first though.

― Lindsey B, Thursday, 20 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Isn't this a question for Jess? Is he still round these parts?

― Ms. S., Thursday, 20 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

good lord!

― jess, Thursday, 20 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

anyway, i leave to go back tonite. the answer is...if you feel it's right. i'm as nervous as i've ever been about doing anything. but i also know that i love her to death and i can't bear to be apart for a minute more. i already made the move once and had circumstances not (momentarily) conspired against us i never would have left. if you're as indifferent to your current life as i was in february when i left (which you seem to be) then why not?

― jess, Thursday, 20 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

This will be the most Emo summer, ever.

― JM, Thursday, 20 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

oh, also this is as good a space as any to note that since i am going back, i will probably be without access to the internet for a week or so, so if you have to email me about anything do it in the next 1.5 hours or forever hold yr peace.

― jess, Thursday, 20 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I've kinda hinted to her that I'm thinking about it. Obviously, we'll have to have a talk about it properly before I make up my mind one way or the other. Everyone on here has been so positive. Geesh. I thought for sure someone would have something negative to say. I'm definitely leaning toward going (I really want to, so it's just a matter of convincing myself to stop thinking of the 'logical' reasons why moving 2000 miles away isn't a good idea).

― alan is thenoiseboy, Thursday, 20 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

alan, the key to your decision is: I was thinking about moving to a different city before I met her. my opinion is -- if it's possible -- do not live together for the first six months or so. if after that 'apart' time you guys are still going strong then i think it has a much stronger chance of lasting and being what i think you want it to be now (if that makes any sense). if it doesn't, then at least you did what you wanted to anyway. i don't think there's anything wrong with using this as an excuse to shake up yr life if you feel you need that; but sometimes leaning too much on one other person in a new place can create unnecessary friction. And yr now at an age (like me) where this kind of thing is not at all unusual. so yeah... go for it.

― philip, Friday, 21 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

mr. mod has finally stretched the term eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemmmmmmmmmmmmooooooooooooooo further than even i thought it could go. it's love, it happens; it often even happens outside of makeoutclub. sheesh.

― p., Friday, 21 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

you must go. doesn't sound like theres that much keeping you where you are. but when you discuss it with her, make it clear that it sounds like a good idea for a number of reasons, kind of like "hell, why not, i've always wanted to go somewhere like that!" type thing. if its too much focus on moving just because of her, she may feel pressured and obliged once you have made the move. so, as long as she doesn't feel this, there is no reason not to go at all!

― gareth, Friday, 21 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Thank you.

― JM, Friday, 21 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

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