Recruitment Consultants: Classic or Dud?

thanks lady from M4npower who convinced me on my very last day of annual leave this year to drag myself up to Cambridge on the train, do an hour-long Excel test, fill out umpteen forms, asks me if i've brought my passport (which she never asked me to bring) then informs me that the job she was putting me forward for requires a driving license, despite the fact I'd already told her very specifically I don't drive. Thanks.

The number of times the driving license thing has happened to me...

Me: "Just so we're absolutely clear about this, I DON'T have a driving license. I can't drive AT ALL. OK?"
Recruiter: "Right, yeah, got it."
Me: "So there is no point sending me to an interview for a job that requires a driving licence, because it will just be a waste of everyone's time."
Recruiter: "Yeah, I understand exactly where you're coming from, I can't drive either (blah blah blah yak yak yak) Oh, I have this vacancy you might be interested in..."

/me goes to interview a few days later...

Interviewer: "Oh, btw, you can drive can't you?"
Me: "No, I can't, I don't have a license. Didn't the recruiter tell you?"
Interviewer: "Oh dear... Well you see I specifically asked them to send candidates with a CCDL, because I need the person taking this job to drive that van... (points to van parked outside)"

So you go back and tell the recruiters that they're morons, I trust.

the worst is when headhunters contact you out of the blue with a job lead and say "if you have a friend who might be qualified for the position, please pass this e-mail along." uh, do i get a finder's fee? if not, shove off and only come back if you've got something for ME.

Honestly. I'm sure there must have been a time where there were certain qualities in a succesful recruitment consultant other than simply doing a quick search on monster then ringing the first CV you can lay your eyes on only to go

"Hi is that, errrr... *shuffle of paper* C****** F****?"
"Err yes"
"Oh hi it's Dawn from Jizwad UK, I saw your CV on Monster. Are you free to talk?"
"Yes"
"What kind of work are you looking for at the moment?"
"I'm looking to get out of my doleful existence as a call-centre adviser/street sweeper/bilge rat. The more local the better, although if it pays the right amount and is in a decent location I may consider relocating."
"That's great. Okay now then James,"
"C*****"
"Yeah cool whatever. I've got an opportunity in mind... it's for a ummm... well it's quite groovy actually, it's for a - Customer.. Service.. Adviser... in Crawley!"
"Right okay, this is exactly the opposite of what I asked for but now you've wasted my lunch break I may as well ask what it pays?"
"The package is £12,000 a year Monday to Saturday 8:30am-6pm."
"I'm afraid I wouldn't be interested in this"
"But-but it says on your CV you have customer services experience"
"It says I've dealt with customers and I have worked in the service industry yes."
"So why don't you want to take this fantastic opportunity?"

*Hang up and wait for the next bozo to ring you about exactly the same job ad nauseum

Received an unsolicited email from a recruitment consultant that contained this typo:

the day rate is up to £120 depending on kills and experience