What are they going to call Marlboro Lights?

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EU directive coming in very soon will - by October 2003 - make it illegal in Europefor cigarette maufacturers to use brand descriptors such as 'mild', 'ultra' and 'lights'. Not just in the description but in the very name of the product.

So what should they change the name of Silk Cut Ultra and Marlboro Lights to? Eh?

― Pete, Tuesday, 25 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Wimpy Silk Cuts? Marlboro Lames?

― Alex in SF, Tuesday, 25 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't see the problem with Ultra.

― Ronan, Tuesday, 25 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Marlboro Gold - as opposed to Marlboro Red, Green, etc.

Thread detour - You used to hear that tobacco companies like Phillip Morris had already copyrighted such brand names as 'Marley', 'Hendrix' and 'Morrison' (to name the three most popular 'brands' painted (badly) on the walls of every Dutch coffee shop), in anticipation of weed legalisation. Is this bollox?

― Andrew L, Tuesday, 25 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Marlboro nummy. I forgot to bring an extra pack in today, hopefully the man who sells them cheap in GHS will be there.

― Emma, Tuesday, 25 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Marlboro Feathers!

Marlboro 0.005kgs

― jel --, Tuesday, 25 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

marlboro ticklers

― mark s, Tuesday, 25 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Malboro NumNum.

― N., Tuesday, 25 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You appear to have plagiarised me.

― Emma, Tuesday, 25 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I didn't read Emma's post. MIND MELD.

― N., Tuesday, 25 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh why does everyone ignore me? This thread is making me yearn for a cigarette.

― Emma, Tuesday, 25 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Silk Cut Delusions

― jel --, Tuesday, 25 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

you bastards, i've been trying to quit since saturday! *nic fit-induced rage* you KNEW i would read this thread!!@! MARLBORO LIGHTS WERE MY BRAND!!!! !BASTARDS!!!!!

*sobbing fit*

― Dave M., Tuesday, 25 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Vomit Yr ass TM

― Queen Don't you point those squiggly things at G, Tuesday, 25 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

At the same time Death cigarettes won't be allowed anymore because they cannot guarantee to kill ya after one drag.

― Pete, Tuesday, 25 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Marlboro Pointless. Silk Cut Undetectables.

― Martin Skidmore, Tuesday, 25 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Marlboro Clinically Proven To Be More Likely To Result In A Higher Incidence of Mouth Cancer Due To The Extreme Measures (e.g. Taping Up Of Little Holes Around The Filter, Necessity Of Adopting 'Hollywood Stoner' Slint-Eyed Sucking Grimace [File Next To Whisky-Face]) Required To Extract Semblance Of Inhalation Experience.

― ds, Tuesday, 25 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

How about "Lung Incinerators"

― mike hanle y, Tuesday, 25 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I guess Players Ultra Lights are SOL if they were sold in the EU

― Mr Noodles, Tuesday, 25 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Marlboro "Light up with Lite on the Cancer!"

― mike hanle y, Wednesday, 26 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Marlboro Pharynx F*ckers

Phillip Morris first marketed Marlboro as an upper-class women's cigarette as mild as may in the 20s... Marlboros now ride in so many limousines, attend so many bridge parties, and repose in so many handbags.

In the '50s they switched to 'Marlboro Men' using various macho stereo-types in the ads, tattooed sailors, athletes etc. Research showed they sold more when they used cowboys, so from then on cowboys it was.

― stevo, Wednesday, 26 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

malboro lites should be renamed marlboro all filter and no tobacco.

― queenoftheharpies, Wednesday, 26 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Marlboro Lights are still kind of the ultimate society lady smoke though stevo. The reds have the cowboy image you describe, but the Lights put me in mind of long fingernails, Los Angeles, and a kind of disdainful bitchiness.

― Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 26 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Hurray, I am an disdainful bitchy society lady.

― Emma, Wednesday, 26 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

With severely stunted spelling skillz.

― Emma, Wednesday, 26 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Marlboro Shites.

(once again do you SEE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?)

― DG, Wednesday, 26 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Marlboro Delights. DYS? Except it reminds me of Turkish Delight which is vile.

― Emma, Wednesday, 26 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Alighting upon the Circle Line platform, years after reading the Chronicles of Narnia, my excitement that Turkish Delight actually existed could scarcely be contained! I counted out the strange money and Edmund-like, tore it all open with greedy little fingers. Imagine my surprise! That it was utterly disgusting!

― Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 26 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

To be fair, Fry's Turkish Delight the choc bar bears little resemblance to real Turkish Delight and is not at all full of Eastern promise. But I don't like either.

― Emma, Wednesday, 26 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I gave up smoking by accident, I just forgot to have one - for two weeks. I smoked on the weekend when I was out drinking but haven't wanted to smoke again since. This is strange.

I used to smoke Marlboro Lights. They used to have a different name about 10 years ago but I can't remember what it was. Maybe it was Marlboro Golds?

― toraneko, Wednesday, 26 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i haven't smoked for a few months now. aren't you all proud of me? i used to smoke Cameos. Hey Emma Cameos are a much more sophisticated ladies cigarette than marlboro lights, you should try them.

― queenoftheharpies, Wednesday, 26 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Marlboro Lights were my brand for ages. Then I got into the Reds. Then I got a massive smokers cough and cut down severely. Now I smoke Stuyvesant Lights. I suppose they will become "deluxe filter" or something. Stuyvo Wuss is my fave nickname for 'em. I have to admit I like the sound of "Marlboro Pointless"

― electric sound of jim, Wednesday, 26 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Turkish delight is awfully disappointing, I agree.

― Maria, Wednesday, 26 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

one year passes...

They appear to have just called them Malboro.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 22:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Anticlimax of the year.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 22:33 (twenty-two years ago)

your wife begs to differ

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 22:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Comedy -- c/d?

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 22:35 (twenty-two years ago)

haha

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 22:38 (twenty-two years ago)

that thread is shite

― dave coulier (Oops), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 22:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey Americans in Britain they are now actually calling Camel Lights "Camel Subtle"

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 22:40 (twenty-two years ago)

...then how come my pack is called Camel Blue?

― cis (cis), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 22:43 (twenty-two years ago)

It's written in invisible ink.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 22:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Damn those cigarette manufacturers and their cunning ways.

― cis (cis), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 22:46 (twenty-two years ago)

The cure for cancer is described in a microdot under the camel's tail.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 22:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Ah cis I hadn't looked at the top of the pack. I couldn't tear my eyes off that poor Camel. So close to the oasis.

I thought Marlboros Lights were Marlboro Golds though? That's what someone in Thresher's told me. I was buying Regal White-With-Blue-Bands though.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 22:58 (twenty-two years ago)

They are hoping that the packet being gold will induce people to call them 'Malboro Golds'. A forlorn and stupid aspiration, and the Thresher stooge will one day be mocked in the street.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 23:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Perhaps the oasis is a mirage and the camel is just more perspicacious than us puny humans?

Camel Subtle would be a better name, though. Then you could have Camel Blatant. Or Camel sneaks-up-behind-you-with-choloform.

Has anyone yet asked for cigarettes by their new-fangled colour name? Beyond Marlboro Reds, of course, which have always been Reds and always will be.

― cis (cis), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 23:06 (twenty-two years ago)

marlboro lights should be instead called simply "nasty"

― ron (ron), Thursday, 20 November 2003 02:38 (twenty-two years ago)

they should be called marlboroheems

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 20 November 2003 02:49 (twenty-two years ago)

btw what was broheems old name, i wish all you fuckers would stop changing names

― ron (ron), Thursday, 20 November 2003 02:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Mr. Diamond

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Thursday, 20 November 2003 07:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Malboro Whites.

― OCP (OCP), Thursday, 20 November 2003 08:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Marlboro Smites

― g-kit (g-kit), Thursday, 20 November 2003 09:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Marlboro ugh

― Sam (chirombo), Thursday, 20 November 2003 11:53 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm sorry but that was actually brilliant

― Sam (chirombo), Thursday, 20 November 2003 11:53 (twenty-two years ago)

doesn't matter what they call them, still addicted desperately.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 20 November 2003 11:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Silk Cut Ultra = Silk Cut Silver.

― Sarah (starry), Thursday, 20 November 2003 11:55 (twenty-two years ago)

we never had the ultras down here. only the regular ones.

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 20 November 2003 11:57 (twenty-two years ago)

silk cut are lame anyway. why make them lamer?

― g-kit (g-kit), Thursday, 20 November 2003 12:13 (twenty-two years ago)

i only smoked them because jarvis did. i am lamer

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 20 November 2003 22:11 (twenty-two years ago)

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