The ILE Bar week 2

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This is CJ's bar, set up by her assistant. You can check back to Week 1's archived bar talk if you like, but that bar has now been burnt down and replaced by this one, so you won't get a drink there.

― Martin Skidmore, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

*sigh*

Martin...my hero!

(C J continues washing glasses, wiping down the bar, and chatting to the regulars)

How's Anthony doing in the Siesta Room? He hasn't been out since Misu accidentally attacked his genitals. Should we go and check on him, do you think?

― C J, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i escaped the fire
no thanx to you criminals

― anthony, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Anthony is fine - we've just been arguing about Jeff Koons' art. That's if you accept that being fine and liking Jeff Koons aren't oxymoronic, of course...

― Martin Skidmore, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

It was the cat smoking in bed. Trust me on this one.

― Martin Skidmore, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Though perhaps next time the bar gets rather cluttered, we should warn the punters that, um, the cat is heading upstairs looking sleepy with a packet of fags (I think they're buying it...).

― Martin Skidmore, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

though anthony and i are fags, we did had nothing to do with misu's pyromania...

mind you, I had some trouble there for a while - thought you'd gone all upmarket...

now, where's that pint of goat's piss i was saving for a good occassion...like midnight

― Queen G of the You talked about my essence with my mother?, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Well, since this bar is all about self-advertisement, I guess Jeff Koons would be right at home here.

It's a shame that the exhibition of my wax crayon pictures got destroyed in the fire. The Man from Del Monte was about to buy them all for a staggering sum of virtual dosh, I'm quite sure of it.

You must excuse me for a moment - my clothes and hair still smell rather strongly of smoke and I think I need a shower.

― C J, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

pour me a strong gin and tonic, will you? friday sucked. serious relationship issues.

after that i could go for some vodka

― geeta, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'll take over behind this here bar while you're gone.

* Tries Tom Cruise in Cocktail style tricks, breaks things, looks embarrassed. *

Um, I'll just pull pints and pour things into glasses, I think.

― Martin Skidmore, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Hi Geeta. What's the trouble?

* Makes a G&T without breaking anything further. Checks the vodka is within easy reach: it is... *

― Martin Skidmore, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'll have some tea please! thanks!

― jel --, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Hi Jel. Milk, sugar? The kettle will be boiled any moment. How's you weekend so far?

― Martin Skidmore, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

it's going well thanks. I've been totally hmmm 'geeky'...comic shops, and seeing spidey again, and buying German tweetronica...and trying to explain to my friend why I felt the need to spend £10 on a mini- optimus prime..."sort of just as an ornament" didn't seem to work! heh! I missed the 3rd place play-off...it sounds like it was a good match...how are you martin?

― jel --, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yep, the third place playoff was great fun. They seemed to more or less relax and enjoy themselves. I've been in a comic shop this week too (Gosh, here in London). I bought the new New X-Men, Lone Wolf & Cub 22 and the old Mister Miracle collection, having recently registered that I was missing several of these. I used to be in comics professionally, you know.

― Martin Skidmore, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I note that in this bar thread, I have claimed to have worked as a barman, a cleaner, a butcher and a comics pro. I may have mentioned being a cook and an accountant and in computing too. This is undoubtedly sounding implausible BUT IS ALL ABSOLUTELY TRUE. I figure it'll make me sound interesting inside the back cover of the novel I have no intention of ever writing...

― Martin Skidmore, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Such madness! Well, we will salute the ILE bar denizens here in SF shortly, as well the NYC crew I'm sure. What a day for a party! ;-)

― Ned Raggett, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Not that I'd ever discourage partying, but why is today an especially good day? I mean, the weather's nice here, but from my limited experience of California, it's always good there, so there must be more to it than that...?

― Martin Skidmore, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Of course every day is party day here at CJ's!

― Martin Skidmore, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Wow martin...you were in the comic business?...tell me more!

Oh, and this time I spotted the Stan Lee cameo in Spider-man, he was on screen for only 2 seconds.

Hip hip hooray for ILX San Fran and ILX New York, on their magical meet up day!

― jel --, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

don't cheer too soon jel, remember poor old jess's saga at one of the earlier ilx-nyc meets!!

― mark s, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I published and edited a critical mag about comics for years (FA - only specialists will recall it!), and edited two lines of comics myself for a few years - one a commercial enterprise, repackaging US comics versions of Aliens, Terminator and the like for the UK market, and another more independent, adult line including work by Grant Morrison, Eddie Campbell, Neil Gaiman, Mark Millar and others. Small time and patchy, but very good in places. Oh, and I was semi-involved in an unsuccessful fortnightly newstand title called Toxic, too.

I knew loads of bigger pros too. I was most thrilled to meet Jack Kirby, and I was good friends with Alan Moore for a while, but I knew dozens to some degree.

― Martin Skidmore, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Tell us the story, Mark!

― Martin Skidmore, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

what was the saga!?!!?!

yes vodka yes gin yes please to go along with the 'i hate gurls' C90 that i am making :(

― geeta, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Well, I can hardly encourage any kind of I Hate Gurls attitude, but here is your gin and your vodka. Separate glasses: if you want them together, you'll have to perform the act yourself.

And can I get you a drink, Mark?

― Martin Skidmore, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Well, the place is filling up nicely! I'm all freshly showered and nice-smelling again, but it's almost a shame I have to go to a real bar in the real world now .......... I'd actually rather hang about here and chat to you lot. I'm really enjoying getting to know you.

You're doing a fabulous job as 2.i.c. here Martin! Remind me to sort out a pay rise for you on Monday, you really deserve it. I'm impressed about the comics thing too....... perhaps you'd be able to answer that much-debated-when-drunk-at-CJ's-dinner-parties question re: Is The Hulk Stronger Than The Thing?

Oh, what the Hell - I'm only going down the village pub anyway, so perhaps I'll just stay and have a swift sherbet here first.

*C J potters around behind the bar and helps herself to a G&T*

Anyone seen Anthony's monkey? He had started that rock-covers band in the old pub - have they gone on tour or something?

*sips ice cold G&T* Cheers, all!

― C J, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

See you later, CJ. The answer is that the Hulk is distinctly stronger than the Thing, no question about it.

― Martin Skidmore, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i am watching charmed with jel in the tv room, i will be back

― mark s, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I am also watching Charmed - turns out it's on the big screen here! It is a particularly rub episode, with very feeble "this'll do" plot convolutions. I know someone who is friends with the script editor on the show, who should be thoroughly ashamed.

― Martin Skidmore, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

What the hell kind of bar has Charmed on the big screen?

― Martin Skidmore, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Do you think they wanted a good looking, charismatic, skilled actor to play Cole, but had run out of money and just grabbed whoever would work for food, or what?

― Martin Skidmore, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

what is charmed [and can we eat them]

― geeta, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Have you not noticed that it is a Magic Big Screen in this bar? Everyone can see exactly what *they* want on it, even if dozens of people are all watching simultaneously. It's brill. I'm currently watching re-runs of The Young Ones.

I rather like this concept of a virtual world.

(C J fluffs up the big floor cushions in front of the TV screen)

― C J, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Charmed, Geeta, is a post-Buffy post-Beverly Hills 90210 tale of three sisters who are witches and have to fight a new crap demon every week. Cue menacing, the odd fight scene as convincing as, say, a TJ Hooker sprint, then final victory with this week's Magic Demon Defeating Spell that they happen to have lying around. It stars her out of some other things, Shannon Doherty (was she in 90210?), the cute Alyssa Milano and someone else.

Anyway, it's finished now. I'm now watching the Glastonbury coverage on BBC Choice. Don't recognise the band.

― Martin Skidmore, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

They were The Coral, apparently. Not any good.

― Martin Skidmore, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

u cannot eat them if u h8 gurls geeta: charmed = Shannen Doherty + Holly Marie Combs + Alyssa Milano

instead of taking a train, jess decided to drive to nyc cz it was a nice day, but there was nowhere to park and all kindsa things went wrong and in the end it was too late to meet up after all, and he had to turn round and drive all the way back to philly in tears (well maybe not in tears on the outside but on the inside)

anyway it woz rubbish and expensive and his readers cried too

― mark s, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

there was a thread, but i can't find it

― mark s, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Well, that's put me right off jetting over to NYC to meet them. Not that I'd planned to pilot my own personal plane or anything, obv.

― Martin Skidmore, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

rub episode: i think NOT! one of the demons cd disappear except only for her eyes!!

― mark s, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yes, that was a half-decent magic gimmick special effect, in a Cheshire Cat kind of way. I think all episodes of Charmed are utter rub, and I watch it every week. You might want to remember this for anytime I start sounding snobbish about any TV

Oh fuck they've got Jools Holland and his band on from Glasto now

shows.

― Martin Skidmore, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You cannot fly your private plane over to NYC because you have been drinking.

I quite like Jools Holland

(sorry)

― C J, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Re BBC Choice, there's a new comedy series starting thereon this week set in a hairdressing salon. Is it my getting old, or did we have something not unlike that only finishing a few weeks back, viz Cutting It? This new one, Having It Off (hoho), sounds rub, however.

― Martin Skidmore, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

blimey i am going back into the back room again in that case, to eat Alyssa Mil- i mean, to watch casualty

― mark s, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

And not having a private plane, and not knowing how to fly. I think we have to face the fact that this plan is less than flawless.

Jools seems a nice enough chap, but banning him from ever getting within five feet of a piano would certainly make the world a better place.

― Martin Skidmore, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

gimmme cachaça. now

― Chupa-Cabras, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Given that this bar has every drink available, this'll be here somewhere...give me a minute...

I'm assuming it's a drink, anyway. Any idea, CJ?

― Martin Skidmore, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Chupa is being disengenuous. Said drink -- it is a drink, indeed -- is the national drink of Brazil, but since he is underage, you are assisting in the corruption of a minor. ;-)

Of course, for all I know folks in Natal pound down the stuff starting at birth, so hey! And it's a good day for a get-together because it really is a beautiful day here in SF. Indeed, I'm about to get out of here and walk up to the meet-up. Talk to everyone again on Tuesday, that's when I'll be near a computer again!

― Ned Raggett, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Okay Ned - have fun!

And Chupa, we don't actually care about your age here anyway, because this is an online bar serving online drinks, and we can and do serve anyone. Here you go - sorry it took a while to find, but with every drink in the world to search through...

― Martin Skidmore, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Alright ned waht do you think is better. To get drunk and lay down on the middle of the street next to a shitty bar or at ILE? *turn the drink down the throat*

― Chupa-Cabras, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Getting virtually drunk in CJ's is best! No contest!

What do I know? I've not got drunk since 1978!

― Martin Skidmore, Saturday, 29 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Skipping 298 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

my heart will gwan

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 14:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Your heart is GWAR?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 15:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Once I had a love and it was a gas
Soon turned out had a heart of GWAR

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 15:09 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.slaughterhouse2k.com/gfodie9.jpg

"YOUR LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 15:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Slipknot are so fucking lazy

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 15:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't look at me

Every day is so wonderful
And suddenly, it's hard to breathe
Now and then, I get insecure
From all the fame, I'm so ashamed

I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring me down
So don't you bring me down today

To all your friends, you're delirious
So consumed in all your doom
Trying hard to fill the emptiness
The piece is gone and the puzzle undone
That's the way it is

You are beautiful no matter what they say
Words won't bring you down
You are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring you down
Don't you bring me down today

No matter what we do
(no matter what we do)
No matter what they say
(no matter what they say)
When the sun is shining through
Then the clouds won't stay

And everywhere we go
(everywhere we go)
The sun won't always shine
(sun won't always shine)
But tomorrow will find a way
All the other times

We are beautiful no matter what they say
Yes, words won't bring us down
We are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring us down
Don't you bring me down today

Don't you bring me down today
Don't you bring me down today

― de, Wednesday, 19 May 2004 15:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Bleedin' karaoke nights.

― C J (C J), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 15:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Woah, that was brilliant! Like someone got hold of the Doomiebot but it went spastic.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 15:27 (twenty-two years ago)

x-post Marcello's been singing it all evening

― de, Wednesday, 19 May 2004 15:28 (twenty-two years ago)

anyway, i'm out of this thread.
this is depressing.

-- Marcello Carlin (marcellocarli...), May 19th, 2004. (later)

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 16:04 (twenty-two years ago)

miss me that much, marcello? i can start the parodies on you but there would be tears before bedtime.

note to self: stop doing the mandatory search on "doomie".

nb: funny note: two fashionable girls at a party were talking. they mentioned ilx (!?). i said - 'oh do you post there?'. girl 1: used to. but it's so 2003, isnt it? (true! true! true!)

― doomie x, Wednesday, 19 May 2004 21:06 (twenty-two years ago)

So why are you still here, then?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 21:06 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.kaos.gen.nz/daily/1999/10/images/time-warp.jpg

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 21:07 (twenty-two years ago)

i have controlled the obsession to searching for doomie. but was mildy intrigued by marcello's parody. satisfied?

― doomie x, Wednesday, 19 May 2004 21:08 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www4.informatik.uni-erlangen.de/~msrex/images/how/satisfied.gif

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 21:09 (twenty-two years ago)

cool!

― doomie x, Wednesday, 19 May 2004 21:10 (twenty-two years ago)

VengaDada

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 21:11 (twenty-two years ago)

(The site that comes from has an entire range of emotion faces; it's kind of great!)

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 21:12 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www4.informatik.uni-erlangen.de/~msrex/images/how/turned-on.gif

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 21:14 (twenty-two years ago)

(Haha thanks to my lightning-fast clicking I thought you'd posted that picture after this post and was about to get seriously sick!)

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 21:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Can I get a Long Island Ice Tea in this joint?

― Maria D., Wednesday, 19 May 2004 23:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Service too slow; I'll get my drink somewhere else.

― Maria D., Wednesday, 19 May 2004 23:42 (twenty-two years ago)

this just into my email in-tray:

"and you (sic) know why you are a shit writer? you have no capacity or concept for beauty. you are self-absorbed. and because you are so self-absorbed, you have,(sic) absolutely no ability to see inside another's head. that's why you are fucked as a writer. personally, yr 'display' makes me realise what i suspect (sic) -- you are wet, wet and WET. another in the line of public-school-social throwbacks.

ps. i never read the blog because it bored me shitless. see you in the reminder (sic) bin."

i wonder if readers can guess who sent this wearily predictable missive.

(nb: i did not go to public school)

(nbb: nor have i ever had anything to do with wet wet wet)

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 20 May 2004 06:52 (twenty-two years ago)

nb: funny note: two fashionable girls at a party were talking. they mentioned ilx (!?). i said - 'oh do you post there?'. girl 1: used to. but it's so 2003, isnt it? (true! true! true!)

If you believe that you'll believe anything!

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 20 May 2004 06:54 (twenty-two years ago)

it was me. drunk after a half cousin show.

and yes, i do find you pathetic and pandering now.

― doomie x, Thursday, 20 May 2004 07:39 (twenty-two years ago)

and no, i won't kick this off on ilx. i should not have even email you. you are like cancer. my apologies.

― doomie x, Thursday, 20 May 2004 07:41 (twenty-two years ago)

My Septum Cunt are playing 93 Feet East in a couple of weeks time. I'll be there.

― Andrew L (Andrew L), Thursday, 20 May 2004 16:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Aw.

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 20 May 2004 17:18 (twenty-two years ago)

I heard Gothic Anus is opening.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 20 May 2004 17:19 (twenty-two years ago)

That's right, Gothic Anus is opening for My Septum Cunt.

Anyone?

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 20 May 2004 17:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Anyone at all?

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 20 May 2004 17:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Is Amy Lee into Gothic Anus? Because you know if it gets her thumbs up I might enter where she's gone before.

― Patrick Kinghorn, Thursday, 20 May 2004 17:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Dan's sorrow of his lack of pervertalist response is palpable.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 20 May 2004 17:52 (twenty-two years ago)

twelve years pass...

Creepy Dude at Bar S02 E15

― calstars, Friday, 14 October 2016 22:37 (nine years ago)

one year passes...

tfw the barmaid at your new regular knows what buybacks are

― calstars, Sunday, 22 April 2018 21:42 (eight years ago)

three months pass...

A clean, well-lighted place

― calstars, Saturday, 11 August 2018 00:46 (seven years ago)

two months pass...

Happiness is having another hour to kill at the bar

― calstars, Saturday, 3 November 2018 18:31 (seven years ago)

one month passes...

This poor guy has a masters degree in sculpture and now he’s a fucking barback

― calstars, Saturday, 15 December 2018 19:57 (seven years ago)

two months pass...

Drunk bar manager buys me a round and says in broken English that I look like a “nice guy”

― calstars, Saturday, 9 March 2019 22:15 (seven years ago)

Aperol spritz pretty popular these days I guess

― calstars, Saturday, 23 March 2019 20:21 (seven years ago)

three months pass...

Pulling bouncer duty

― calstars, Monday, 1 July 2019 22:10 (six years ago)

one month passes...

Barmaid says I’m “thinking too hard”
That I should just relax and it’ll “come to me”

― calstars, Saturday, 17 August 2019 19:45 (six years ago)

four weeks pass...

Tina Turner here sitting across from Huey Lewis. “Oh no,” she says. “That was a long time ago.”

― calstars, Sunday, 15 September 2019 23:12 (six years ago)

four months pass...

I think the barmaid has given up on collecting money from me. That’s fine

― calstars, Thursday, 23 January 2020 01:57 (six years ago)

two weeks pass...

Bless buybacks (buy backs?)

― calstars, Saturday, 8 February 2020 03:03 (six years ago)

Bouncer duty again

― calstars, Sunday, 16 February 2020 01:02 (six years ago)

This afternoon when I chase the pilsner

― calstars, Monday, 17 February 2020 18:06 (six years ago)

three weeks pass...

Feel like the bar gets more interesting the later in the evening it gets
Don’t mind me though
Just passing time

― calstars, Saturday, 14 March 2020 03:32 (six years ago)

three months pass...

Back on outside bouncer duty

― calstars, Friday, 3 July 2020 18:40 (five years ago)

six months pass...

Came here to post something but I forget what

― calstars, Saturday, 9 January 2021 21:05 (five years ago)

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