shittest portuguese centre forward of recent times

I am biased against Postiga for being shit for an entire season for Spurs and then scoring the goal that put England out of Euro 2004, so him.

i'm biased against postiga for the first part, and neutral-to-warm on him for the second but yeah him.

^^ has a lamentable 5/34 for sporting lisbon since 2008 and yet 11/34 for portugal, which is about the same ratio as torres for spain
maybe he's more lazy than shit

Why is Portugal so shit at producing strikers, when they appear to be doing pretty well at everything else?

Reminds me of a comment a friend of mine made about the Portugese national team: a goalkeeper and 10 midfielders

I think Pauleta is the answer to this, because his goal scoring record suggests he was good but, like a David "Crybaby" Trezeguet", he was fucking shite

jeez he was so fat that one time he played for bolton.

vaz te losing out here due to lack of profile i believe.

vaz te is a nice name anyway

sa pinto and joao pinto were overrated too

jorge cadete was ok

the answer is 'not this guy'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfQQdYW92dk&feature=related

Who *are* the great European centre forwards these days? Are Torres and Bendtner out on their own here?

torres? as if.

great european centre forwards, being those that play the old fashioned 'English' target man?

Berbatov, Ibrahimovic jump out. Maybe even Rooney.

Either that or Owen/Inzaghi types. Out and out strikers basically, the kind of guys you can't expect to track back. I'd've'd Drogba and Eto'o as top guys of either kind, but who are their Euro equivalents? Are we all 4-6-0 now?

The eternally overlooked Miroslav Klose maybe?

Maybe getting on a bit now though, I dunno.

Playing in Germany is a football black hole. I even forgot about Ribéry.

erm, torres/villa?

Would agree with that, but can't think of many competitors. I'm pleased I managed to get three apostrophes into a single word up there.

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8 votes. They're even shit at being shit

postiga still no doubt the shittest though. boggles my mind anyone would vote nuno gomes

this shold have been pauleta

Was this to be understood as shittest while playing for the portuguese team or shittest in general? Cos if it's in general I guess I disagree about Pauleta being the worst. The guy consistently scored in the Ligue 1 and my friends who support PSG still admire the dude and miss him (but yeah seeing as how far down the shithole PSG has gone, they would long for happier times like when Pauleta was scoring).

Also, looking it up on wiki, the guy seems to be the highest goal scorer of all times for Portugal. And his goal/match avg is quite good. So yeah, disagree about Pauleta being the worst.

totally disagree about pauleta, yeah. he was the main man for portugal for quite a while there and his record in france was impressive.

srsly pauleta of course is not a worse player than former bolton reserve ricardo vaz te, but what are you going to do? he annoyed me

well vaz te was better for bolton

fess up- is this because pauleta went into your fantasy team at some stage?

no i think i'd put him under lj's 'preternaturally immobile national hero' category which i did say was the most infuriating type of player

nah i think that the preternaturally immobile player isn't necessarily immobile because he's fat, whch was the case with pauleta: the bolton years

errr pauleta never played for bolton?

trying to think who you might be confused with, or if this is some meta shit

jardel?

that wd #1 in terms of fat lusophone bolton cf's i can remember

my thinking too, albeit expressed with a superior vocabulary

as in not actually portuguese, but then neither are deco, pepe, liedson etc

as in lusophone somewhere inside cashley

wtf you guys pauleta not jardel, wtf?

(yeah, jardel)

wasn't jardel straight up brazilian tho?

xac

and he was actually good when he gave a fuck apparently

but yeah portuguese cfs, terrible, terrible players

wow at ur tryin to make sense of what happens in my head re: fat dudes that played for bolton in 2007 or w/e tbh

1996–2000 Porto 125 appearances (130 goals)
2000–2001 Galatasaray 24 (22)
2001–2003 Sporting CP 49 (53)
2003–2004 Bolton Wanderers 7 (0)

Man, those numbers are positively Balabanian

there is probably a thread in this, prolific goalscorers who hit a brick wall when they joined the epl. jardel is a pretty extreme example. kezman is another that springs to mind.

During the 1999–2000 season, he was the top scorer of his team with 15 goals and attracted the attention of another Croatian club, Dinamo Zagreb. Playing for Dinamo, Balaban kept up his goalscoring form and once again became the league's top scorer with 14 goals in 25 games. Two games into the following season, he was signed by Aston Villa for a fee of £5.8 million, earning a £20,000-a-week contract.

Balaban failed to find any form for the English club, making just nine appearances, seven as a substitute. He was loaned back to Dinamo Zagreb for the 2002–03 season, scoring 15 times in 24 appearances. In December 2003, Aston Villa released Balaban from his contract and he signed for FC Bruges on a free transfer. In the 2004–05 season he scored 11 goals in 24 appearances for the club; in the 2005–06 season, he scored 13 goals in 30 games for Bruges.

In 1997, no-one died. In 1998, no-oned died. In 1999, no-one died. In 2000, there was the incident with Aston Villa. In 2001, no-one died.

there is probably a thread in this, prolific goalscorers who hit a brick wall when they joined the epl.

definitely an interesting thread idea.

the gamut to run from balaban (obv) to maybe rebrov?

Thing is Jardel signing for Bolton just seemed to signal the end of him having any noteworthy kind of career, whereas Kezman had a couple of decent spells after Chelsea and Bosko immediately resumed normal deadly one-in-two service with astonishing ease

there are different types though, the kezman/afonso alves/samaras shit forward who scored for fun in holland

the jardel/boskic (formerly) great players with fatness/laziness issues

the players who didn't rly fit in english football, rebrov/shevchenko etc

kezman was pretty poor at atletico, balaban apparently was only playing in belgium and croatia after villa? so yeah i'd think he was probably fairly crap

there must also be a category of lower league scorers who got snapped up by a top flight club and choked. i can't think of a good example right away tho.

Francis Jeffers makes for interesting reading - seems he can only play for Everton - 18 goals in 49 league appearances in under three seasons then 16 goals in the next nine years, including this sensational four season run:

Years		Team			Apps†	(Gls)†
2003–2004	→ Everton (loan)	18	(0)
2004–2006	Charlton Athletic	20	(3)
2005		→ Rangers (loan)	8	(0)
2006–2007	Blackburn Rovers	10	(0)

A goal a game for his country though:

2003		England			1	(1)

karel poborsky

Diego Forlan's been pretty much a goal machine everywhere but England.

there must also be a category of lower league scorers who got snapped up by a top flight club and choked

jermaine beckford 2011

there must also be a category of lower league scorers who got snapped up by a top flight club and choked. i can't think of a good example right away tho.

ormerod
zamora (to an extent for a long time)
heskey (arguably, tho he had one good season for liverpool?)
jon stead
fuckin rasiak

forlan is a good call, an obvious dip in productivity at man utd.

i seem to remember that guy lee hughes was doing okay for wba, but then he seemed to disappear for 3 years.

kinda like adriano

robinho

prolific goalscorers who hit a brick wall when they joined the epl
Andriy Shevchenko

Diego Forlan's been pretty much a goal machine everywhere but England.
― the pity party of tiny feet (onimo), Monday, 8 March 2010 14:40 (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

yes i thought of forlan when i thought poborsky, but couldn't remember his name!

thought poborsky was more than decent, tbh? played right wing and was just unlucky that beckham emerged

he was ok i guess, never really had enough games to make an impression though.

Weeping at how Jardel's Bolton spell was exactly what was needed to take him from being the mythical more than a goal-a-game man to a mere goal-a-game man. It's like Bradman's last innings duck.

He's only scored twelve goals in his entire subsequent career, which is at least in theory still going.

Even more tragic: "Although he was top scorer three times, due to the use of coefficients based on each European league's standards, he only won twice, the 1998–99 and 2001–02 European Golden Boots. He lost out to Kevin Phillips in 1999–00 despite Phillips having scored six fewer goals than Jardel."

Haha! Allardyce was his Eric Hollies

In invoking the "preternaturally immobile national heroes" I referenced Jared Borgetti, who was surely in the back of d-mac's mind upthread

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lKne7ArLDs&feature=related

I think about this goal a lot, and can never quite work out how he did it.

one of the better headers

pretty obviously just trying to head it back into the middle. jumped,turned, headed, no mystery.

there's an amusing clip of him getting sonned by oguchi onyewu

Nah, he clearly meant it - even though the angles involved mean it ought strictly to have been impossible.

You Want To Believe.

his line of sight even follows where he thinks the ball is going...back across the goal.

am 100% certain that was intentional

bc

'big call'? we're talking about JARED BORGETTI here, DUDE

no, bc = because. inviting u to do more than argue by assertion. aren't u an oxbridge dude? smh

ok, in the replay you can see borgetti's strike partner dropping deep for the ball, in borgetti's direct eyeline, therefore he can surmise he is probably alone in the box and thus has no alternative but to go for goal

plus, the shape on the header was a round-the-corner flick, whereas a nod across goal would have involved more of a front-of-head action

plus, your 'eyeline' assertion stems from the fact he is JARED BORGETTI, thick of neck, and cannot actually turn his head any further given the direction his body is going in

plus, i know way more about soccerball than you

:D

agree he should know he is alone in the box, but still thinks he has no alternative but to play the percentage.

header was front of head, inertia of movement gave it the goal parabola.

zvookster aka the dreamstealer

when i jump into an NFL thread all 'totally awesome play' when someone fumbles the ball into a team-mate's hands, remember this moment

remember it well

99.94% in agreement w/lj here. Would be 100% but for one thing - Borgetti has the build of a whippet. Check that still, the neck is like a pencil.

it was said of some lines of sappho's that their economy rang with the fine awkwardness of truth. lj's new dn is finest in this wise!

^^^has redeemed all of his posting in this thread and then some

Ashamed I missed this thread but whoever said upthread that good strikers don't exist anymore is on some crazy talk.

Me, I think, though I do rate Bendtner obviously. I had originally scoffed at the idea that the days of Owens and Inzaghis were over, but there really don't seem to many of them around, and if there are they are not feted like they used to be.

lol

srsly it wd be great if one of these ppl did something

hugo almeida scored 7 in 25 last season

though almeida was like a utility DM tbh

A goal from midfield! How about that?!

that's a cross so good even a portuguese centre forward couldn't miss....

i) vaz te is playing for barnsley
ii) pleae can everyone's favourite dagestani arrivistes sign ARIZA MAKAKULA