Types of bitches (as enumerated on a note found in a 3rd grade classroom)

http://www.andiamnotlying.com/2010/types-of-bitches/

I'll let someone else do the inevitable poll threads.

90!

amazing

basically this is the most hilarious indicator of the fall of American civilization I've encountered to date

44) (page missing)
45) (page missing)
46) (page missing)
47) (page missing)
48) (page missing)
49) (page missing)
50) (page missing)
51) (page missing)
52) (page missing)
53) (page missing)
54) (page missing)
55) (page missing)
56) (page missing)
57) (page missing)
58) (page missing)

^ apocryphal bitches

Missed out "Now I'm all up in that ass bitches"

oh 75 i guess

i like how 8) defaults to sunglasses smiley

i'm sure we could come up with the missing 15

I'm sure this will earn me the inevitable clusterfuck and a host of suggest bans, but it still seems appropriate:

@TheMenstruator So we can't say the N word but the B word is allowed, almost demanded, about every 15 minutes. Is that progress?

Now please carry on with whatever hilarity you already had planned.

Chesesy teeth bitches

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHMBJIeqcQc

explain 32?

viiiiraaaaalllllll

I'm not sure what about the phrase "indicator of the fall of American civilization" indicates that I think this is fine and dandy. Yes, it made me laugh, but it's also really fucking disturbing and upsetting. Things can be simultaneously horrifying and amusing; life is an ongoing series of contradictions. I was hoping this thread would be equal parts people bugging out and laughing at the list and equal parts people talking about how wrong and problematic it is.

What Kind of Bitch are You? 1-43

What Kind of Bitch are You? 59-90

Wearing shoes that be talking bitches

If ever there was a time to have a >50 poll-option...

xpost

Ha that was how I voted

Thank you Dan for sharing this important and exhaustive list which I will surely be able to put to use at my current job. I have a feeling this will prove invaluable.

jesus christ. i saw ONE page of this somewhere, don't think i can take MULTIPLE pages of this stuff

yup, seems like someone learning the women-police-other-women's-behavior rules

but also playing around with language; it is funny.

Last night I had to break up a fight between an I-pod stealing "hood rat bitch" and a "grimy smut bitch" so there are two more right there. So many bitches!

I was gonna type something out about the double standards on ILX about rules of finding sexism funny vs. racism funny and the response to this type of "humour" but I'm too fucking exhausted and disheartened to go through that again.

hey, kate's back

i can't be the only one trying to sing the list to the tune of this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JsJw65v03hw

I presume, Masonic Boom, that this was written by girls.

::gouges out eyes and then cuts off hands::

Casual sexism = A-OK straight-up hilarious and if you don't agree, or find it troubling, you're a miserable humourless prude. I got the message already.

The polls are just completely over the line not acceptable. I'd complain to a moderator, but hey - it was a moderator that started it. So that really just goes to show the attitude, doesn't it?

Thanks, ILX, for reminding me.

i find racism pretty funny too, tbf

I presume, Masonic Boom, that this was written by girls.

Oh yeah, that makes it EVEN BETTER then, doesn't it?

yup, seems like someone learning the women-police-other-women's-behavior rules

perhaps this thred is not for you

xp

pajamas outside bitches

that wasn't rly an xp as it turns out

Sweet Jesus. Really Kate??

pajamas outside bitches is the best imo

kate did you think i meant the sentence you quoted approvingly?? i don't.

this kid has 99 bitches and a problem ain't one

Registering agreement w Kate, for the record. Don't worry, I'm just going to avoid the thread completely.

we need tuomas's help before before this thread gets too real

i have a soft spot for bitches who think they hard

You know what's going to be awesome? When I go to work at 1 and come back to check this at 10 pm to find a 500 post thread going absolutely nowhere with ppl bitching about some stupid bitch list because that's never been done before and is always fun.

I think it was very creative of the girl or girls who made it.

enbb, come back with some new additions to the list imo

A ninety bitch list.

I wonder if people would feel differently about this list if it turned out it wasn't actually found by some guy's friend's cousin on a 3rd grade classroom floor, but was actually written by some guy as a hoax. Would the language become more troubling?

Indubitably.

not rly bcuz some girls is some city somewhere already did it

Guys I think to be safe we should just not talk about anything ever.

o.nate I enjoyed your list very much, hat tip

LOL at "apocryphal bitches"

I wonder if people would feel differently about this list if it turned out it wasn't actually found by some guy's friend's cousin on a 3rd grade classroom floor, but was actually written by some guy as a hoax. Would the language become more troubling?

― o. nate, Friday, March 5, 2010 4:00 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark

wmh

"water my head?"

waving my hand

waving my hand bitches

god i don't even like typing that word

waxing my hoodie

whacking my heinie

how old is 3rd grade btw?

9-10

wandering my habitrail

More like 8-9.

8-9 tbh

I suspect the teacher created the list

xp fark

waving my hand bitches

― Mr. Que, Friday, March 5, 2010 11:16 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

god i don't even like typing that word

― Mr. Que, Friday, March 5, 2010 11:16 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

the grey knight

doesn't really seem like the handwriting/spelling/vocab of a third grader imo

lol my bad, 9-10 is 4th grade

not that i'm an expert haha

the teacher is a white man which makes this list sexist racist and classist HAT TRICK

wringin my hands

the grey knight

?

wrangling my hongro

btw i think one thing that would make this thread really unfun is speculating on the origin of the list.

doesn't really seem like the handwriting/spelling/vocab of a third grader imo

It could be, but what's starting to get to me about it is that they came up with 90 of them. I don't think a thirdgrader, or a group of them, would have the patience to come up with a 90 item list.

Sorry CAD. I couldn't resist responding to mookieproof.

kids are weird and mean, doesn't seem unlikely to me

wtg ilx

ilb

clearly this was the work of pope alexander VI, composed in 1501 and handed down through the ages before being surreptitiously placed by the opus dei in a 3rd classroom to foment an ILX race/sex war as a warmup for the 2012 apocalypse

what horror will 2011 bring

Oh hell, of course a third grader could come up with a 90-item list.

I don't know any third graders. It was just a guess.

I'd complain to a moderator, but hey - it was a moderator that started it. So that really just goes to show the attitude, doesn't it?

It was a "mod" that started it but not a moderator.

older bitches made this list def, im thinking 6th graders

yah

where is "bitches who drop private lists for teachers to find and mock us with"

What we really need is scans of the original list so we can do handwriting analysis!
But I still maintain that no lists actually existed and they were just holographic projections created by our own government.

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4059/4406534065_6cd5214104_o.jpg

Definitely not a female, or a child's hand.
I think the Zodiac Killer wrote these lists.

11) hoche minh looking bitches

Hoax-creating bitches. According to the Internet, this list surfaced a year ago, only then it wasn't a DC third grader, it was a Baltimore 6th grader.

91) internet fun ruining bitches

;p

Links or it didn't happen.

http://s10.zetaboards.com/SOTF_V2/topic/603683/1/

http://joecarryon.tumblr.com/post/92699920/buchino-90-types-of-bitches-via-tylerincmyk

Feel like I've been cheated.

btw i think one thing that would make this thread really unfun is speculating on the origin of the list.

― call all destroyer, Friday, March 5, 2010 11:21 AM (39 minutes ago) Bookmark

I'm locking this thread and the poll threads. It wasn't my intention to attack anyone by posting it and I'm sorry. I thought it was both funny and horrifying and wanted to talk about it with others; I knew some people wouldn't think it was funny but I didn't figure someone would ask why they can't say "nigger" because of it.

I was looking for the link I posted several years ago to the also hilarious/horrifying racial slur dictionary to prove I wasn't being a hypocrite but this isn't an argument worth winning.