Have You Ever Kept A Diary?

I think I might start calling Ricky T the new name of "Richey T". Shall I? Nah.

I kept a diary when I lived in Spain 4/5 years ago, it is a horrendous outpouring of woe which makes me relive the nightmare months every time I read it. Never again.

Right, I really AM going to get off the net now and start chasing down that god damned amp.

If I remember correctly, nothing vaguely personal was ever written in them or, if it was, it was in some kind of code that was indecipherable six months later. It was just an obsessive detailing of inconsequential life-events (times I caught trains, friends I met in the pub, the book I was reading, what I videoed off the telly; just enough detail to allow me to flesh out the day in memory). You can immediately spot the periods when I had an active social life (chunks of 1989-91, chiefly) - they're blank.

Gave up sometime in '95, but tried again (in computer form) in '97 when I suddenly realised (around June) that I couldn't recall any aspect of my life during February. Gave up again.

It's these pocketbooks full of tiny biroed capitals, and their absence from my life since age 26, which (partly) explain why I can 'remember' with whom I went to see 'Flatliners' at the Curzon in Loughborough on 15/1/91 (and the conversation we had afterwards, and what I ordered at the curry house), and why I can't recall anything about my birthday last year, or even hazard a guess at how long I've had certain household items.

The pretend diary would often be more or less the same, but it would paint me in a better light, and (I suppose) drive her finally into my arms. Needless to say, this failed. And it was very tiring keeping up two diaries a night. I think after a while I wrote in the pretend one that I was giving up writing a diary and ended it there. But before then, I would set hairs across its pages (something I learned from the Osborne Detective's Handbook) in an attempt to discover whether she was still reading it. She was, or at least someone was.

One time, it had clearly been read but she was away for the weekend so I realised that another of my flatmates must be reading it as well. I had always had my suspicions - the two of them were as thick as thieves and the girl I was obsessing over's diary entries had mentioned how the two of them had pissed themselves reading a ridiculous letter that I had sent to her. Ah, happy times

My mum once told me "Keep a diary and a diary keeps you". My life certainly impoved after giving up writing one. Mums know best.

'I feel like a Cocker Spaniel that no body wants and is about to be put to sleep'

'Today Alex had friends over, and Andy did something very gross and chased me. I told Dad and he said that there would be some new rules: 1. I am not allowed to play with Alex's friends. 2. Alex can only have friends over when Mom or Dad is home. 3. If anyone does something like that again I have to tell Dad right away.'

I recall the 'gross' thing in question being Andy, a 13 year old, made a joke about sex, and then chased me up to my room because I was so shocked by the joke. Then he banged on my door and didn't leave for about 3 minutes. I was very upset.

How innocent and sweet.

I also kept a good dairy when I was 14-15 which I must keep my parents from finding.

I would like to keep a diary now, but I only like to write at the end of the day, and I am usually too tired, and I think it's a bit rude to write in bed while your husband waits patiently for you to finish and turn out the light.

I started a new one in January. It was just boring, so I stopped. I thought it'd increase my writing skills. It actually made me realize all the mistakes I was making, slowly, but still, it was boring.

>>> Going to see the folks this weekend so I fully expect to find them, dogeared and faded, stuffed in a drawer in my old bedroom.

Sorry, I should warn you - you won't find them. I went up to the Wirral myself - on a Very Fast Train - dug them out and squirrelled them away in my own den.

Don't believe me? Let's prove it.

>>> It was just an obsessive detailing of inconsequential life-events (times I caught trains)

"13 March 1982: Bristol Parkway: arrive 12:12 - depart for London Euston 12:24".

See - I told you.

Monday 24th January 1994: Not much happened today. There was a weirdo hanging around college, and he was standing outside one of my classes, I thought he was gonna come in and shoot us or something but then I do worry alot. Saw her today, didn't see me, story of my life.

Monday 23rd May 1994: Didn't do much today, I seem to be in suspended animation at the moment, waiting for the exams to start.

Friday 16th September 1994: Happy today, went to see some friends played some football.

So, my diary is now pretty funny to me, I was very miserable it seems...there seems to be alot about some popular ILe subjects in there as well, but I was 17!

How do I express unbridled joy? Thank God I was in the room (I'd just returned from the bathroom) when John Peel ran through what's to come on tonight's programme. Two alternate takes of Smiths songs and ONE PREVIOUSLY UNRELEASED song! Of course I should never have believed Morrissey when he said in 1988 "Everything the Smiths ever committed to tape has been released. Re-released even!" Yet it still seems strange. I know that other famous groups have had bootlegs and official records released of outtakes, but I could never really imagine this happening to the Smiths. Do you understand that this is the first time I've witnessed (as a Smiths devotee) the airing of a 'new' Smiths track. All the Smiths songs are just so firmly imprinted on my mind as a complete portfolio of seventy-however many songs that I can't even imagine another one appearing in my life. It's so exciting. I'm jumping up after each record Peel plays and standing with my finger on the record button. I've put in a TDK SA-X tape. What if the bastard plays one following on from another record without introduction? He wouldn't, would he? What if I heard him wrong? It still seems incredible.

Sorry about another 'what if?' but what if the only reason the song wasn't released is because it's a sort of jokey, crap jam? Hmm... Will these tracks be officially released? If they're not then promos of them will reach gigantic sums. By the way, 'Sit Down' is now number two. I have to buy the original before all this success makes its price rocket.

John Peel, hurry up. How can he sound so calm and normal about announcing all the other, insignificant records?

It's 1:07 and I'm still waiting. He has confirmed that he'll be playing them, but he seems unaware of their importance. It's as if he's got some new tracks by... well any old band really. Sort yourself out John. I hope so hard that I'm not disappointed in some way in the next fifty minutes. Things that could go wrong 1) He might not play them 2) I might mess up the taping of them 3) They might not be very good. What will the previously unreleased song be called? I guess that it begins with a 'p'. I hope the alternate takes are of two of my favourite tracks. Perhaps the new song is an instrumental. I hope not. It's 1:14. Come on. It's 1:31 and I'm now sure that he's going to leave them to last. Sitting here, I've been looking back through this diary. Two things grab me. Firstly, a lot of it is almost illegible. Secondly, there are a number of sentences which might be read 'wrong'. Like somewhere I said that I spend more time thinking about films than I do watching them. Now, I didn't mean that if you add up all the durations of the films I've watched it will come to a longer [presumably I meant to write 'shorter'] time that the time than the time I spend thinking about films. That's not that surprising. What I meant was whilst I'm watching a film I spend an awful lot of time thinking baout my reaction to it, rather than just letting myself be carried along with the story. That might be quite normal, I don't know.

Well all I know is that these 3 Smiths tracks don't add up to more than 19 minutes of music: it's now 1:41. But then that's not very surprising. How many other people must be sitting here waiting just like me? Imagine if my radio broke down now. It's 1:47... 1:48... 1:49 (they must all be an average of 3 miuntes long unless this Levellers 5 record finishes in the next few seconds)... 1:50 what is this for heaven's sake? ... 1:51... This is heartbreaking. I'm sorry but I don't believe this: he's playing another record and it's 1:53. What are we going to get? Alternate takes of 'Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want', 'I Keep Mine Hidden' and a one-minute gem? Get lost John Peel. I *must* have heard him right - he said it twice. And he never overruns. Leave it to next week maybe? Bastard. 1:55. 1:56. I don't believe this. Yes I do. You know what he's jsut said? "And err.. waht was I going to say now. Ah yes... If you've been waiting to hear those Smiths tracks that I didn't have time for; maybe this time next year, eh? Ha ha ha. I don't suppose anyone fell for it did they? Still, you've got to try haven't you?"

When I started quoting him then, I was totally confused. "*Why?*," I thought. But suddenly I realised, it's now April 1st. April Fools Day. But that's no *bloody* excuse. I fell for it, yes. But I can still hardly believe, let alone come to terms with it. It was *so* obvious: of course he wouldn't have been that casual about it. I'm considering boycotting the show in future. I'm genuinely upset: how pathetic I am.

I love the way you felt the need to apologise to your diary for being too boring.

bill

Anyway, these days I just keep all my emails in lieu of a diary.

In the interests of unfree speech, can a moderator delete my inexplicable and unforgivable use of the word 'Euston'?

8 days into the new year, anyone keeping one this year. A real one that is, not a newfangled blog type thing.

Anyone? I still write in a spiral-bound notebook once or twice a week.

I used to keep one and fill it with emotional bullshit that was bothering me. They are so full of shit I can't even read them anymore. I started keeping one again but as I'm a working adult, it's more of an "I did this today and need to do that", with occasional notes on stuff I have read.

It helps to write in a journal when you're drunk because then it negates everything else that is in there. Not that I get drunk anymore.

the act of writing a diary always seems unappealing to me, for me at least, maybe on account of an egregiously lachrymose teenage diary i kept, but, sometimes when i re-read old e-mails i've sent, or letters i wrote, it seems like the merit of preserving minute stuff you'd totally otherwise forget - even, barbarically, just twitter-level amusing one-sentence incidents, etc - would justify the effort of keeping a diary.

i think instead i am just referring to old e-mails/texts for a window in to older periods of my life

maybe if i kept a diary i would stop outsourcing my introspection towards letter recipients

I love diaries and journals, what pisses me off is when people "feminize" the whole thing, like everyone who "writes stuff down" has maudlin personal issues or is self-absorbed. Of course in academia, whether you are a student or a professional, having a journal of some sort is necessary.

Why do I find it irritating? Because I used to have a Diaryland a long time ago, much of it was experimental writing or documentary writing or fiction and it was ruined by people wanting to talk about their personal pain or victimization.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/512WCKPNEEL._SL500_AA300_.jpg

I really like reading diaries and journals of the famous, but they are usually of artists and detail their work schedule, how they get ideas, aesthetics and travel.

Andy Warhol's diaries are hilarious and a must read.

The memoirs, diary, and life of Private Jefferson Moses, Company G, 93rd Illinois Volunteers.

was your diaryland full of " "s and italics and you asking yourself questions, because if so i would rather read a sob story.

S*O*B story

http://nickdastoor.pitas.com/

I share other people's desire to read more Nicky D diaries, though I know that will not happen.

His stories of the past quite move me.

Well, they touch me.

I shouldn't have said that upthread. Maybe Diaryland is still good. There were just a few people on there who were a little weird. Plus I wasn't there to stalk teenage girls. I did fiction experiments.

I guess I'm too old for that now.

From roughly 1973 until 1982 I kept a journal. It included some diary-like material, but overall it was more like a diffuse set of essays concerning whatever was hanging off the end of my nose when I picked up the journal to write.

That sounds cool, actually. Probably a lot more interesting (to oneself) to read back 30 years later than "went to cinema today, drank a coke watched Star Wars" actual diary entries.

I've got a lot better at keeping paper written diaries. I was doing 750words for a while, but I found that that stopped me writing in a paper diary - and the thing is, I go back and read paper diaries, and find them useful, but would never look at my 750words again.

I can't read my teenage diary, it is so bad. Plus it is totally fake.

Prompted by cleaning my pit after a coivd tussle, and finding some old notebooks, I would be intrigued to know what percentage of ilxors keep/have kept some form of diary and what form they take etc?

I've tried various things over the years and it's always 'something' to look back, however low the velleity - to see how little one's obsessions change, but mainly for the notes I've taken from books. This kind of marginalia still creates a sense of possibility somehow.

Anyway, diaries?

yes, aged about 14-23 I kept it up sporadically, still have boxes of them in the garage, tell myself they are "for a project"

whenever I try to read them they send me off on a day of reflection / regret, not sth I really have time for.

ive kept a fairly regular diary for fifteen years. my early entries are scattered in notebooks, but somehow over the course of five or six laptops and one year of typewritten entries i have meticulously archived my diary into one long .txt file. i mostly make very brief, semi-fictional entries of daydreams, night-dreams, prayers, recovered memories or mundanities of the day. it's my safe place and i never feel pressured to write. the page always listens to me. sometimes i wish i could share it with everyone. i don't take many photos, so it serves as a better way to remember times, sometimes. every once in a few months i'll scroll back and read over entries and find myself surprised. i feel like i write in a fugue state or something most of the time. my favourite fiction is epistolary and i think it's a great format and a very healthy routine to maintain.

I tend to feel more like CaAL about my notebooks: such promise on the outside, but when I look at them, I just get the melancholy of lost futures - things I didn't do, writing projects never completed. Ah well. I guess I'll be glad they exist at some point.

All that said, I've been keeping an Evernote journal this year and have managed to keep it up every day. Kind of like maelin suggests, with the digital equivalent of scribbled notes, less thought out the better. I've been looking back and it's an interesting document. If you're me.