Real England

driven inside by the cringe

i can't click that video it will kill me

just looking at those beans again, there's 8 sausages in a tin so that's more than one tin on the plate, wtf is wrong with people?

bloke just called 5live and genuinely said the army should be on the streets and should shoot people "not kill them, just shoot them in the hand or foot" for a variety of offences incl "disrespecting the Queen", "running around sunbathing" and my favourite, "being outrageous".

— the Devil has many bollocks, my friend (@LeonardEctric1) April 6, 2020

fuck, those are my three favourite things

Bad news for Showbiz Kids

just looking at those beans again, there's 8 sausages in a tin so that's more than one tin on the plate, wtf is wrong with people?

― Kier today, Dom tomorrow (Noodle Vague), Monday, April 6, 2020 1:50 PM (seven hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

I reckon it's two tins with sausages and two without, I take no pleasure in reporting this.

irl lool bg

xp
there is still too much sauce on the plate to support that theory!

You know how you need to heat the beans for a while so the sauce reduces? his nan hasn't done that.

I think she's filtered some of the sauce out of a third can of beans which has been put in the fridge for later, because she equates sauce with love!

You know how you need to heat the beans for a while so the sauce reduces?

i have never taken an instruction less seriously

#ClapForBoris Sending our best wishes ⁦@BorisJohnson⁩ Get well soon and carry on the great job!!! pic.twitter.com/h26TUtZFF3

— Glenn Aston (@GlennAston1) April 7, 2020

Efficient reducer from Tom in the responses

"Hope you snuff it like boris will soon"

This guy 😂👏🏼👏🏼#ClapForBoris pic.twitter.com/mIHrnEhWrO

— Kevin Basham (@KevinBasham) April 7, 2020

xp this one is always a classic

pic.twitter.com/ZYmUXFusj7

— ויסקונט לייטון (@ViscountLe8ton) April 7, 2020

#ClapForBoris Sending our best wishes ⁦@BorisJohnson⁩ Get well soon and carry on the great job!!!

Typical Wolves fan.

Oh the shame

LOL. soz NV

Football fans, what ya gonna do?

nowt more English than racism and porn
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-52243209

feel bad for lolling so hard

The scene from Westminster bridge #ClapForCarers pic.twitter.com/JpzM0YBjgH

— Damir Rafi (@d_rafi1) April 16, 2020

That seems like a lot of people quite close together

I trained a neural network to produce UK government style petitions, trained on @jonty's excellent petitions dataset. It's just as awful as you might expect: https://t.co/jZ6hkLE65D pic.twitter.com/zDCPKVMaRn

— Mike Sheldon (@mikesheldon) April 17, 2020

https://imgur.com/a/z518nDp

At a farm up the road. Mental. My fat fingers included for added authenticity.

One last go...

https://imgur.com/a/z518nDp

I'll have a go
https://i.imgur.com/mfE40mc.jpg

Thank you! What was I doing wrong?

There's even a hidden Churchill there - above the Go Forward Together slogan. Ffs.

Can't spell NHS without spelling Nation

British police say they are keen to speak to a person who has been dressing as a 17th century plague doctor for walks during the coronavirus lockdown.

The unidentified individual has been spotted in the Norwich suburb of Hellesdon wearing a long black cloak, hat and pointed beak-like mask in recent weeks.

People posting on a community Facebook page said the outfit could frighten children, with Norfolk Police saying they wanted to give "words of advice" to the person.

Jade Gosbell, 21, took a photograph of the person walking across a recreation ground in Hellesdon.

"It was like 20 degrees, he was wearing a full black suit, it just looked ridiculous," she said.

"It's clearly for attention or something like that, because normal people just wouldn't do that."

She said: "I was sitting there and I was getting angry myself as my mum has a phobia of masks.

"I know that even in daylight if she was to go round the corner and bump into him she would be so scared.

"Kids would be frightened, my mum would be frightened, however some people really don't think it's that deep, they just think that he's having a laugh, he's just trying to find something to do with himself during isolation and lockdown."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5fts7bj-so

Toilet-dwelling lizard inconveniences Bristol man https://t.co/cxY4X8Zr2q

— BBC News England (@BBCEngland) April 29, 2020

British police say they are keen to speak to a person who has been dressing as a 17th century plague doctor for walks during the coronavirus lockdown.

I'd also like to speak to them, maybe go for a pint when this is over, feel like they'd have some good patter

She said: "I was sitting there and I was getting angry myself as my mum has a phobia of masks.

I'm afraid I have some bad news...

A shot of Lincolnshire’s Balloon version of @captaintommoore arriving in Bedfordshire. Made by Craig Cash in Horncastle & Delivered by Andrew White from near Boston.
Excellent to see communities coming together to put a smile on people’s faces. #MakeADifference pic.twitter.com/UoVYwkwI8W

— BBC Radio Lincolnshire 🌈 (@BBCRadioLincs) April 30, 2020

An incredible (and edible!) tribute to #CaptainTomMoore on his 100th birthday by local baker Leanne Harry.

Support and see more of her creations here: https://t.co/VDhohwcYyl pic.twitter.com/xfUA0HHbc0

— IndependentLiverpool (@IndpndtLiv) April 30, 2020

The country’s off the rails.

you’ve seen him walking for the nhs, you’ve chipped in some cash to his campaign, now eat his fucking face EAT IT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfQwHb1pWPE

The horrific cake head of Captain Tom Moore with the hair of Steve McClaren. pic.twitter.com/DCcvjxvGrp

— Football Manager Hair on Politicians (@visualsatire) April 30, 2020

a Soviet Bus Stops/Yugoslav Memorials-style coffee table book of shitty Millennium municipal features in British towns and villages

— Ben (@cinemashoebox) May 2, 2020

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EXFgSWvWAAAbqZA?format=jpg&name=medium

unfair, that seems pretty enough

every single one profoundly cursed

one of those on the thread is local to me and I feel vindicated for laughing when I first saw it.

https://www.kentonline.co.uk/_media/img/750x0/22OWKIR1SQ26SSEOQJ2S.jpg

On Sheppey, 75-year-old pensioner Tim Bell was taking no prisoners. He went on parade near his home in Scrapsgate Road, Minster, in his own tank named T-75 and wearing a set of Second World War pilot's goggles.

The retired electrician had converted his mobility scooter into a fighting machine complete with its own Union Flag and sound system to blast out tunes from the 1940s to delighted neighbours, who waved flags as he drove past.

born in 1945

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/00/German_soldier_with_flamethrower_c1941.jpg/300px-German_soldier_with_flamethrower_c1941.jpg

I like it when you see a shop that opened in 1999 that still has the word 'millennium' in its name

https://scontent-lhr8-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/52815321_2061113047307393_2410979840069992448_o.jpg?_nc_cat=110&_nc_sid=8024bb&_nc_ohc=AUOG5KQZ4xcAX8M0lZa&_nc_ht=scontent-lhr8-1.xx&oh=1900fca8bd10d7c7d92c84b50f98dd9d&oe=5EDBD844

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/5hl8jFc52NX0mHdHj4jLTpBVE-48ryD_R17aACk0_PNUNqZ9Rm8Wg8uuWBCfUe0O6JDfFCuOgQgbRYdo=s0

Stoke Newington

https://media-cdn.tripadvisor.com/media/photo-s/0d/3e/d7/c4/millennium-kebab-2000.jpg

would eat a millennium kebab tbf