why do i hate that artist thing that people keep posting on my facebook so much? why am i such a jerk?

As if Innocent haven't heaped enough cutesy terror on the world...

What they say: "No thanks, I'm not hungry"
What they mean: "I'm a bit distracted right now by the elaborate mass murder plot forming in my head"

"Pop into fruit towers and say hi" | “Coke is the biggest juice company in the world and it wants to provide one of every type of soft drink in the world — and we want to become Europe’s favourite little juice company. It is a no-brainer.”

http://thingsboysdowelove.tumblr.com/

It is a no-brainer

https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/225595_417848201640322_161666595_n.jpg

p sure doctor wd have meant normal sized glass

of alcohol

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/543523_282635688517348_1390709270_n.jpg

"Twasn't even in the rule" fails to scan. Neither does "IF YOU AGREE, PASS IT ON!"

Mary had a little lamb
And Jesus was his name
He did a shit on the classroom floor
And Satan got the blame

-- William Blake

guy who posts a bunch of "beards are awesome and get you sex lol" memes just posted one of those someecards with a 'sexy' man and woman, says "Your beard makes my shirt want to come off", man in eCard does not have a beard. It is time for the reign of someecards to end.

your shirt made my beard come off

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=beard

Beards are so eurocentric.

lol NickB

I had a beard for a brief while in 1987 or thereabouts. I used to get schoolgirls lusting after me!

Shaved it off.. I was 26, c'mon!

I hope you like lamb in school

- Bob Marley

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bremen_school_shooting

or http://news.yahoo.com/cops-7-dead-3-hurt-christian-school-shooting-214742437.html

http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/544551_168946279926876_911783931_n.jpg

he looks fuck all like Biggie

wow, fuck that and anyone who posts it

thought you would hate that too.

that's it, i'm converting to indian

only question is reform indian or reconstructionist indian

eastern orthodox

just, wow

That Indian has no beard, thus no credibility.

rythms

posted by Single vs In Relationship
TOUCHING STORY:

My mom only had one eye. I hated her… She
was such an embarrassment. She cooked for
students and teachers to support the family.
There was this one day during elementary
school where my mom came to say hello to
me. I was so embarrassed.
How could she do this to me? I ignored her,
threw her a hateful look and ran out. The next
day at school one of my classmates said, ‘EEEE,
your mom only has one eye!’
I wanted to bury myself. I also wanted my
mom to just disappear. I confronted her that
day and said, ‘ If you’re only gonna make me a
laughing stock, why don’t you just die?’
My mom did not respond… I didn’t even stop
to think for a second about what I had said,
because I was full of anger. I was oblivious to
her feelings.
I wanted out of that house, and have nothing
to do with her. So I studied real hard, got a
chance to go abroad to study.
Then, I got married. I bought a house of my
own. I had kids of my own. I was happy with
my life, my kids and the comforts. Then one
day, my Mother came to visit me. She hadn’t
seen me in years and she didn’t even meet
her grandchildren.
When she stood by the door, my children
laughed at her, and I yelled at her for coming
over uninvited. I screamed at her, ‘
'
How dare
you come to my house and scare my
children!’ GET OUT OFHERE! NOW!!!’
And to this, my mother quietly answered, ‘Oh,
I’m so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong
address,’ and she disappeared out of sight.
One day, a letter regarding a school reunion
came to my house. So I lied to my wife that I
was going on a business trip. After there
union, I went to the old shack just out of
curiosity.
My neighbours said that she died. I did not
shed a single tear. They handed me a letter
that she had wanted me to have.

‘My dearest son,
I think of you all the time. I’m sorry that I
came to your house and scared your children.
I was so glad when I heard you were coming
for the reunion. But I may not be able to even
get out of bed to see you. I’m sorry that I was
a constant embarrassment to you when you
were growing up.
You see……..when you were very little, you got
into an accident, and lost your eye. As a
mother, I couldn’t stand watching you having
to grow up with one eye. So I gave you mine.
I was so proud of my son who was seeing a
whole new world for me, in my place, with
that eye.
With all my love to you,
Your mother.’

MORAL LESSON:
Always LOVE your parents. They are a blessing
to you.

looool

WOW

Funny that Snopes actually has a page for this tale (http://www.snopes.com/glurge/oneeye.asp). In case you're wondering, this one's false.

hahahha WTFWTFWTF

hahahhahahahahahah

grotesque

even though it's fake it's still making me angry. that's the power of great fiction

i'm angrier at snopes for taking it seriously enough to even make an attempt to dispute it

"...and jesus said I cut off my feet and sewed them onto your legs becuase you were a cripple. but yeah I guess technically they're my footprints"

BOOM

Hunchback! Hunchback!

powerful, heartwarming story

:D

MY mom only had one eye. I hated her... she was such an embarrassment. My mom ran a small shop at a flea market. She collected little weeds and such to sell... anything for the money we needed she was such an embarrassment.

Weeds business is tough.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41Xso5hcFaL._SL500_SS500_.jpg

Related re: I Fucking Love Science - http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/us-news-blog/2013/mar/20/i-love-science-woman-facbook

See if you can guess what happened when ppl found out the scientist behind it is a woman.

SCIENCE GIVES ME A FUCKING BONER

Gaze ye upon the face of SCIENCE:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/39/GodfreyKneller-IsaacNewton-1689.jpg/220px-GodfreyKneller-IsaacNewton-1689.jpg

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/__f7TJa6zgu4/TGytgcJ9ndI/AAAAAAAAAxI/KzCH9iFLYpo/s320/dolby.jpg

https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/576121_10152661447940623_796962126_n.jpg