why do i hate that artist thing that people keep posting on my facebook so much? why am i such a jerk?

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if i could have sex with whoever i want whenever i want, i would be able to seduce entire armies and blackmail the pope and the president with threats of our public love making on worldwide television. my absolute power would give me dominion of the globe, so i think i'm gonna go with the mind control option over free sneakers

i made a scope for my laser musket out of some (forksclovetofu), Sunday, 15 November 2015 20:03 (eight years ago) link

Ugh the memesters (inevitably) caught on to the Friday 13th thing

Amblyomma_americanum_tick.jpg (wins), Sunday, 15 November 2015 20:06 (eight years ago) link

man i was thinking free weed cuz you would be able to monopolize an emerging industry that will probably be legal nationwide within twenty years (and even then it was 50/50 cuz man kerry washington alone) but forks makes a very very good point.

balls, Sunday, 15 November 2015 21:27 (eight years ago) link

sex w/ whomever you want whenever you want could be a genie trick, tho - like, if you just randomly think about having sex with someone but weren't going to do anything about poof they appear and you've gotta stop everything and have sex right then and there

Kiarostami bag (milo z), Sunday, 15 November 2015 21:33 (eight years ago) link

lol that reminds me of that louis ck line about if every time someone made the jerkoff motion they had to finish to completion

balls, Sunday, 15 November 2015 21:39 (eight years ago) link

i'll be honest most of the time i randomly think about having sex w/ someone it's someone i definitely want to have sex with. like maybe an estelle getty could work her way in i guess but it's generally rachel weiszs all the way down. plus in that scenario i've just solved the riddle of teleportation.

balls, Sunday, 15 November 2015 21:42 (eight years ago) link

there is a quite good Nabokov story about this, kinda

John Dope Assos (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 15 November 2015 22:02 (eight years ago) link

uhm, what's that story?

niels, Monday, 16 November 2015 08:39 (eight years ago) link

all that 'free' sex would still come w a heavy price. it didnt say reproduction or stds are out of the question

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Monday, 16 November 2015 17:50 (eight years ago) link

xxp

"A Nursery Tale"

John Dope Assos (Noodle Vague), Monday, 16 November 2015 18:02 (eight years ago) link

xp Stock up on prophylactics.

billstevejim, Monday, 16 November 2015 18:07 (eight years ago) link

loving that indigo children page

global tetrahedron, Monday, 16 November 2015 18:28 (eight years ago) link

Hahaha

UYD: Oxys, Percs, Vics, Addys, Rit-Dogs and Xannys (sunny successor), Monday, 16 November 2015 21:27 (eight years ago) link

j/k it was me finally time to unmask my tru identity

Amira, Queen of Creativity (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, 16 November 2015 21:28 (eight years ago) link

I initially thought Queenof was a weird surname and not a typo because I love purple and have an eye for detail

tsrobodo, Tuesday, 17 November 2015 09:17 (eight years ago) link

thanks for your support tsrobodo, i can tell that you like purple :)

Amira, Queen of Creativity (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 17 November 2015 14:14 (eight years ago) link

https://scontent-dfw1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xtf1/v/t1.0-9/11988760_10154038378934523_925579297936081465_n.png?oh=bf7d3d0a6dd6b87afcac7a60b1311b9c&oe=56B45052

Here's hoping they have enough courage to continue after making this macro

too young for seapunk (Moodles), Wednesday, 18 November 2015 00:35 (eight years ago) link

What's with the Gs in that font?
Then again, I guess this thread is a treasure trove of odd font choices

Amira, Queen of Creativity (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 18 November 2015 01:04 (eight years ago) link

the tails of the g's are rebounding, after a defeat

Frump 'n' Dump (Doctor Casino), Wednesday, 18 November 2015 05:01 (eight years ago) link

elephant font idk

Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 18 November 2015 05:07 (eight years ago) link

"is what that"?

i made a scope for my laser musket out of some (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 18 November 2015 05:25 (eight years ago) link

I was just followed by this Twitter account: https://twitter.com/hotncold84 which features such treasures as:

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CTPtaG4VEAARFxD.jpg:large

Neil S, Wednesday, 18 November 2015 08:49 (eight years ago) link

seems obvious to me that man does nothing that one could call 'work'

Aimless, Wednesday, 18 November 2015 18:19 (eight years ago) link

god's marketing team really slacking these days

i made a scope for my laser musket out of some (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 19 November 2015 05:01 (eight years ago) link

i hear he's got some killer viral campaigns coming down the pipeline though.

Frump 'n' Dump (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 19 November 2015 05:03 (eight years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/LCDtetK.png

gr8080, Thursday, 19 November 2015 16:03 (eight years ago) link

I dunno, I kinda like that one

too young for seapunk (Moodles), Thursday, 19 November 2015 16:20 (eight years ago) link

man recent events are really really bringing out the racists in my newsfeed, it's fuckin gross

marcos, Thursday, 19 November 2015 17:32 (eight years ago) link

i don't recall it being this bad

marcos, Thursday, 19 November 2015 17:32 (eight years ago) link

like people literally suggesting we put microchips into any syrian refugees we take in, as a totally rational solution

marcos, Thursday, 19 November 2015 17:33 (eight years ago) link

I loled at Grady's

UYD: Oxys, Percs, Vics, Addys, Rit-Dogs and Xannys (sunny successor), Thursday, 19 November 2015 17:58 (eight years ago) link

tbf, we are being played for a fool people.

i made a scope for my laser musket out of some (forksclovetofu), Friday, 20 November 2015 16:01 (eight years ago) link

ISIS be like:

Agents, show the general out. (Bananaman Begins), Friday, 20 November 2015 16:53 (eight years ago) link

america lovers drive like this, jihadis drive like this

big WHOIS aka the nameserver (s.clover), Friday, 20 November 2015 21:30 (eight years ago) link

remember that tragic day when the social justice meanies caused a Man of Achievement to think about sexism for apparently the first time in his life *weeps copiously for the lost innocence of a scientist*

noe love derp wev (wins), Saturday, 21 November 2015 13:26 (eight years ago) link

The variables are interesting there. What if he landed a spacecraft on a comet but did so whilst in blackface?

cardamon, Saturday, 21 November 2015 15:44 (eight years ago) link

Does successfully landing a spacecraft make you untouchable, I mean. I think the furore around his shirt was misplaced tbh, but the counter-furore in favour of him was also misplaced

cardamon, Saturday, 21 November 2015 15:46 (eight years ago) link

landing a spacescraft on a pure untouched comet just another capitalist imperialist bastard

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Saturday, 21 November 2015 18:20 (eight years ago) link

It was because he wanted to fuck the comet iirc?

big WHOIS aka the nameserver (s.clover), Saturday, 21 November 2015 18:35 (eight years ago) link

Fast comets are totally asking for it imo

UYD: Oxys, Percs, Vics, Addys, Rit-Dogs and Xannys (sunny successor), Saturday, 21 November 2015 18:44 (eight years ago) link

xp
"You must be a comet because you've been circling my mind for millions of years."

nickn, Saturday, 21 November 2015 18:45 (eight years ago) link

oh the rage

Roberto Spiralli, Sunday, 22 November 2015 19:18 (eight years ago) link

She looks possibly more beleaguered in the after picture.

jmm, Sunday, 22 November 2015 20:39 (eight years ago) link


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