Movie Barf

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this isnt like computers........to this day, even the best movies, under or overground, with the most realistic everything, have computers that make little beeps and bloops and shit when people just scroll or type anything.......computers dont do that shit, everyone knows it.......movie makers still refuse to accept that people use computers.......see, that's some shit that can be changed but never is......but not barf......a good real barf has at least two heaves and spews......unless the actor is a down ass rugged man that will barf for real, it only looks as real as what the actor can do with one mouthful of fake barf, and i am always disappointed.......or they can do a side view shot with a barf nozzle concealed by a face (usually over the top and comedy), or they can be really lazy and have a guy over a toilet, and you just hear him GROAANING, no splash sounds or barf depositing in the toilet water (eg. the quiz kid in Magnolia)....or a decent alternative is the post-barf that relies on the exhausted barfer drooling and recovering......it is an eternal filmmaking struggle, and something CGI will never conquer.....chunks are too dynamic to be faked.....

Search: Problem Child 2 amusement park ride scene (side barf), the japanese kid in How High (side barf), Kain in Menace (post-barf....decent drool), the black guy barfing next to casper in Kids (post-barf.....the toilet had real-looking barf in it....the cabbage-toilet-paper post-drinking looking barf.......that shit HURTS)

― Ramosi, Thursday, 19 September 2002 23:06 (twenty-three years ago)

the barf nozzle is the next greatest invention after the wheel

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 19 September 2002 23:08 (twenty-three years ago)

that reminds me mark.....i had this fantasy of driving the oscar meyer weiner truck on a nightclub street with a booming sound system.......the people would get a kitshy kick out of it.......but then id get corny......i'd throw packs of hot dogs out the window at them, and when people are dressed for clubbing, hot dogs are the last thing they want in their life........then i'd lay it all on the line....these huge nozzles would come out the side of the truck and drench everyone with ketchup and mustard.......i'd stick my retarded head out the window and start singing take me out to the ball game as if everyone was having a good fun food-fighting time, when i knew damn well they'd be soooooo pissed off

― Ramosi, Thursday, 19 September 2002 23:26 (twenty-three years ago)

look, it's about time i gave shout outs to those people that helped with my insomnia......i took a bunk pill on the weekend and i was awake for 4 days, first time ever this happened to me.....i'm not the kind of drug- or tortured artist-chic asshole that thinks no sleep and haggardness is sexy.....i love sleep, i always sleep, and my body was in agony......i tried hot chocolate, light blankets, heavy blankets, room migrations......i could not get erections because of the fatigue and pill effects........i had this sore on my lip and my neck ached.......i barricaded myself in my crib because i was so deranged i would alienate anyone dear to me that tried to help.....i missed work.....but last night i slept......shout outs to: mitch that AIM'ed me and wished me luck......it was good to interact.......gwen stefani in the "underneath it all" no doubt video yesterday.....i managed to get it up while it was on and i had a pretty big O and it got me tired........4 hours later i was outty.....mitch and gwen, i got your balls, i got your back

― Ramoises Alou, Thursday, 19 September 2002 23:33 (twenty-three years ago)

Don't lose your damn focus, though, this is still a Movie Barf thread, and a Search And DeStroy at that.......contribute please

― Ramosi, Thursday, 19 September 2002 23:35 (twenty-three years ago)

I would say the barf in Peter Jackson's Bad Taste isn't very realistic, but I've never seen aliens regurgitate (formerly) human flesh into a bowl to pass around, so . . .

― Ess Kay (esskay), Thursday, 19 September 2002 23:48 (twenty-three years ago)

My quality meter for barf: if it's less effective and less funny than the pinnacle climax of Porky's 2, it ain't barf.

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 19 September 2002 23:50 (twenty-three years ago)

I liked Pedro from basketball Diaries (mouthful shot, but done so it had true barf momentum, not spat-out looking......he had some on his mouth afterwards too)......you guys like to talk all this decadent modern culture analysis shit but lets face it, aside from rugged cats like ant and geoff, you're filth posers......did you know theres this new fad in porn where the oral scenes are crazy rough with the INTENT to make the chick barf on the dudes cock......there's even a few series....Human Toilet and this X Models one, and i'm sure Extreme Associates has one too.......Max Hardcore (who I DESPISE) tried to make that anorexic barbi chick puke but she chewed it back.....respect!

― Ramosi, Friday, 20 September 2002 08:27 (twenty-three years ago)

and when I say "you guys", i'm not talking about people rugged enough to participate in my threads.......i'm talking about the Morlocks......those bastards owe me five dollars......they were all "we really want to try the new McDonalds fries with the low fat oil"......oh, i knew it was going to freebase but i was having hot flashes and I honestly couldnt be bothered...."hmph!"

― Ramosi, Friday, 20 September 2002 08:34 (twenty-three years ago)

http://bau2.uibk.ac.at/sg/python/Images/tmol02.jpg

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Friday, 20 September 2002 08:38 (twenty-three years ago)

In 'The Great Santini' some guy pretends to throw up by swallowing and then upchucking a tin of cold chicken soup. It looks v. realistic, and I wonder if most puke in movies actually = cold soup...

― Andrew L (Andrew L), Friday, 20 September 2002 08:49 (twenty-three years ago)

has anyone seen a barf where the person tries to cover their mouth and pressurized spew streams shoot out between their fingers? if so, good.

― boxcubed (boxcubed), Friday, 20 September 2002 09:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The barf in L'Auberge Espagnole is pretty realistic. But more on that (and the character who barfs) when the movie opens in UK.

― Jeff W, Friday, 20 September 2002 09:01 (twenty-three years ago)

search: me, as an extra in forthcoming aussie movie 'garage days'. did it whilst in sydney on working visa. run out of nightclub after imbibing 'bad drugs', spew out mixture of cold custard and veg against wall. spectacular. nobody will ever see it, though, probably.

― michael wells (michael w.), Friday, 20 September 2002 09:14 (twenty-three years ago)

"has anyone seen a barf where the person tries to cover their mouth and pressurized spew streams shoot out between their fingers? if so, good"

I had a barfers eye view of this, there were three sheets of rich burgandy coloured red wine spew going. Most amusing.

― tigerclawskank, Friday, 20 September 2002 10:05 (twenty-three years ago)

The Parole Officer - for shame - has much vomit onm a rollercoaster.

― Pete (Pete), Friday, 20 September 2002 10:07 (twenty-three years ago)

The barf in L'Auberge Espagnole is pretty realistic. But more on that (and the character who barfs) when the movie opens in UK.

Heh, I thought that scene with the Englishman vomiting from excessive drinking & the Frenchamn peeing nonchalantly in the streets summed things up nicely.

― Miss Laura, Friday, 20 September 2002 13:58 (twenty-three years ago)

That wasn't very nice, my apologies to the English.

― Miss Laura, Friday, 20 September 2002 13:59 (twenty-three years ago)

Boxcubed and Tigerclawswank: I believe in Colorado that is referred to as a "snowplow."

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 20 September 2002 14:57 (twenty-three years ago)

There is nothing worse than the Sinus Barf.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 20 September 2002 16:16 (twenty-three years ago)

EVIL IMAGE.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 20 September 2002 16:22 (twenty-three years ago)

A friend and I drank way too much tequila and he's telling me a story while we're walking along and just turns his head to the side, super-caj, and spyaks along the sidewalk, wipes his mouth and finishes the story, never slackening pace. The "walking barf".... can't think of a movie but there must be one.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 20 September 2002 17:01 (twenty-three years ago)

haha tracer, that reminds me of the stuff in the Martin Lawrence live show......"if i ever go to prison, I know they gonna try to fuck me......so i'm gonna be a nasty filthy stinky mafucka.....i'm gonna WALK and SHIT" (mimics pooping while walking) "Even my wave gonna stink" (mimics wiping ass with bare fingers and licking them clean) "hey nigga let me talk to you for a minute...hey bra".....damn man, how did Martin lose his way so badly.....on Leno last month homeduke was reaching so bad.....shades of Eddie Murphy decline.....tracer your friend is an O.G.

My friend once did the 'snowplow' shit but it was indoors and he was trying to reach the bathroom....instead he got it all over the carpet and you could see how badly this shmuck underchewed his food....there was well-defined well preserved corners of entire bread crusts in his spew.....IIRC, at the same party there was a fight at the end in the driveway, and I saw this guy creep up behind another guy's oblivious back with a mug and two full beer cans in his hand, baseball-pitched all three at his head, one by one, from like 4 feet away and MISSED EVERY TIME.....i just about died crying

― Ramosi, Sunday, 22 September 2002 00:04 (twenty-three years ago)

judging from "the piano" anna paquin pukes like a little girl.

ramosi- re: your comment about magisterial deconstructions of "decadent culture", what might bataille make of the recent bukkake trend ?

― mike (ro)bott, Sunday, 22 September 2002 00:50 (twenty-three years ago)

a friend of mine was once in the center of a circular booth at a bar surrounded by the ladies. he finished his last drink, turned his head over the edge of the bar, blew into the glass, set it down next to the potted plant. no one even noticed.

ramosi the fact that you even gave the above any thought makes me love you even more.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 22 September 2002 01:10 (twenty-three years ago)

One must appreciate the love of idiocy that people bring to bear on each other. Ramosi merely reports to us all on the human comedy.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 22 September 2002 01:13 (twenty-three years ago)

six months pass...

Alright, who saw this nights episode of 24......that was superb post-barf......torture dude was going over the chukk with a metal detector......let me quote a friend of mine....."Well, my stomach isnt hurting, so I bet the baggies are fine......fuckin cops.....let's grab some chino food for lunch so i can use the chopsticks afterwards." That one's 4 u, ned!

― Ramosi, Wednesday, 16 April 2003 05:16 (twenty-three years ago)

What about projectile vomiting? One of my most horrifying memories is of a game of Speed Quarters played during my freshman year of college. A dude sitting across the table from me, after his thousandth shot-of-tequila-with-beer-chaser, did the Expanded Cheeks and Bulging Eyebrows While Suppressing Vomit face and then, without warning, his jaw cranked open as if pried by an invisible hand and the contents of his stomach flew across the table in a straight line directly into my face. Whereupon I, somewhat more considerately, leaned over and merely barfed on a friend's feet. Had the barf been blue, this incident might have resembled the Lard Ass Revenge story in Stand By Me, which is completely unrealistic but quite classic.

― jewelly (jewelly), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 10:39 (twenty-three years ago)

Christ I'm surprised no-one has mentioned The Rules Of Attractions rape/vomit scene.

― Pete (Pete), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 10:47 (twenty-three years ago)

ANOTHER TRUE STORY

New Years Eve 1999: me and a bunch of friends went camping and drinking to a lodge in the middle of a forest. At small hours I was getting very tired, so I decided to go to sleep. Then I noticed that a friend who was lying beside me wasn't looking too good - she was about to barf. I saw a bucket with a lid nearby, so I gave it to her. She barfed in it. Not giving it a second thought, I closed the lid and put the bucket back to where I found it.

At some point, I woke up when someone said "Tuomas, do you want some tea?" I thought about it, but decided I was too tired to get up, so I continued to sleep.

I woke up in the morning and went to the camp fire. My friends were looking kinda sick, so I asked what's the matter. It turns out the bucket the girl had barfed in was were our water supply had been. My friends had decided to make some tea, but it was dark in there, so they didn't notice the vomit in the water. Only after they'd drank their tea someone had said "this tea sure tastes weird", and the truth had been revealed. Naturally, most of them went and barfed themselves.

Although this was all my fault, I couldn't stop laughing...

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 11:01 (twenty-three years ago)

Search: Showgirls and Henry Fool!!

― Amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 17 April 2003 05:16 (twenty-three years ago)

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