'...and DON'T *bleep* IT UP!' -- the RuPaul's Drag Race thread

I'm somehow convinced we get the gold bar after Snatch Game here, and the show turns into Sartre's No Exit.

season 14 is to the death but no one knows & the season runs as-is for another 12 years

They are really killing the drama for this gold bar reveal with all these non elims. There is no gold bar, the chocolate is just rations on the longest season ever

Meantime:

the year is 2455, the mecha rupaul has managed to bring humanity to it's knees and weilds the power of time travel. it uses it to snatch jujubee out of different points in her time line to complete in rupaul's drag race all stars 60049: the all jujubee season pic.twitter.com/rohYI194cG

— 𝑆𝐼𝐴𝑁 𝑇𝐻𝑌𝑀𝐸𝑆 🥂 (@SianThymes) March 5, 2022

In the RPDR cinematic universe, Jujubee is RuPaul's Duncan Idaho. In this essay I will https://t.co/cSmCbAYEe0

— Fsck poutine 🌻🇺🇦 (@jvfriedman) March 7, 2022

LOL

re: chocolate - at least it gave us “oh.. it’s chocolate”
i am wishing for a drag race / school of chocolate crossover episode now

Just ahead of the UK vs The World finale: objectively speaking, Baga has the most C U N & T, and Jujubee the least. However, subjectively, their positions are reversed for me. Mo and Blu are... fine, above average midfielders, but not winners.

I don't find baga delivers the winning c.u.n.t. for me, there's charisma, there's definitely nerve with a capital N but unique? talented? I find those qualities a bit lacking...that snatch game was over rated, the runways are so so, a fierce lipsync is not their forte, a forgettable singer too. I don't think this bunch of queens have set the world alight but certainly not baga.

it says a lot to me about the diversity of human life that there are people out there who haven't given up on UK vs The World because of Baga

Agreed with Ru’s first and third lip sync decisions, disagreed with the second.

they’ve managed to lower the stakes so much i don’t actually care who wins at this point

It really felt like a series where all the queens were in the UK or close by for something else at the same time so they just decided to get them all together for this made-up show. So odd. Although I really enjoyed Jimbo and Pangina's faceoff in the workroom. What a pair of pros. I assume Pangina's horror was all put on for the cameras.

Maybe...and yet.

Drag Race España at the end of the month!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVA3wkWKgOA

this whole UK vs the World seems so.. unnecessary. it felt more like a “let’s pretend play drag race!” than an actual season. with all the talk of “THE FIRST INTERNATIONAL DRAG RACE!!” it felt small and homemade. okay so it’s a 6 ep BBC thing, but couldn’t they do something that would work better for that format?

and on top of that you have all the non UK and non US queens eliminated first (and they were better too), you have queens in the final 4 who don’t deserve to be there (i heart you jujubee, but girl, i ain’t buying your “this was my strategy” talk). and the winner?! mo should’ve been crowned. i like blu, but her lipsync was over the top and not in a good way. there was no subtlety, no connection to the song. i’m baffled.

Anyway next week I'm seeing Trixie and Katya kick off their tour here in SF and based on their latest newsletter they're prepping exactly how I figured they would:

Katya:

So Trixie and I are in the midst of what is known in the theater world as Hell Week—the week leading up to the premiere of a new show. For us, it’s a show that’s been in the works for quite a while, but on account of Trixie’s unmanageable work schedule and my extreme distaste for working, finding adequate time for rehearsal has proved to be the most challenging production element so far.

We are lucky to have gotten Laganja to do the choreography, which is a blessing and a curse. The blessing is that she is incredible and the choreography is fabulous but the curse is that it’s difficult and I am so slow to learn any steps out of my very limited movement vocabulary which consists of walk, hair toss, wiggle, wiggle, handstand.

It’s an ambitious production, and so months ago, I insisted that learning the choreography would take me at least twice the time than it would for any non-dancing performer. And of course, I didn’t get that extra time, which is probably why, after 6 straight days of rehearsals my body feels and looks like an exhumed corpse from the 1800’s.

People love to say I’m a dancer. And while I appreciate the compliment, the truth is that those people have been lied to several times as I am unqualified, and nothing of the sort. Just because a person can point their toes, do a handstand and a split does not mean they can dance. It took me about 3 hours to wrap my head and feet around a “kick, ball, change” and I still dont have it down.

Chassée? Get out of here. Pas de bouret? Shut up. Rond de jambe en l’air? Forget about it. Despite my hideously frustrating inability to pick up steps at a decent pace, and thanks to the invaluable tutelage of Miss Estranja, I finally got the closing number completed with no mistakes. It was absolutely thrilling until I realized that I would need to do the same thing in makeup, corseted, wearing pads, tights, wig, heels and a fucking costume. After sweating through several shirts not in drag in an air conditioned room, I could help but wonder if it was too late to rename the show, as I can only anticipate the amount of sweating I will be doing might be enough to give Waterworld a run for its money. (It famously made very little money at the box office, so it shouldn’t be that hard.)

Anyways, we are going into tech at the moment and I am about to practice a very cool but very top secret little detail of the show that I will not spoil, but will give you a hint: sometimes you gotta sleep your way to the top and let others do the heavy lifting.

We will keep you posted, as the tour kicks off next week in San Francisco.

XX KATYA

--

Trixie:

If this Substack seems shorter than usual, it’s because I have been in the throes of rehearsal for this crazy tour. The good news is I’m on stage with somebody I trust and in an environment where we can try new things all the time to see what’s funniest. The bad news is the costumes, the dancing, and the specific theatrical cues make executing certain sections less playful and more actually important that you get it right.

I’m proud of us so far! I think we had Chipotle like five days in a row so that was nice. And I am obsessed with Jimmy Johns so I’ve had that a bunch of times at the rehearsal space. The only trouble is the vigorous rehearsals have really cut into my available time for drinking. But I went to rehearsal hungover today so I’m obviously still making time.

Tomorrow we going to tech rehearsals which is usually in theater a very long day of stopping and starting to make sure all the light and sound cues are perfect. I plan on going into it hydrated, positive, and most importantly not hung over.

RuPaul: whatever you do, just make me laugh in snatch game!

The queens: #rupaulsdragrace #dragrace pic.twitter.com/R33mFcMiiC

— Matthew Portnoy (@MatthewPortnoy1) March 12, 2022

multicar pileup was worth it for the ensuing judging panel

also bosco with the best LOL of untucked
to Jorgeous after her emotional outpouring w her family
“You said your brother was gay?… Ok great.”

DYING

That really was perfect.

But yeaaaaah DeJa ran away with that one! Wow the clusterfuck. Of course what'll happen next week is they'll do the lipsync off, the eliminated queen is chosen and then they have the gold bar and the season will maybe end on Halloween or something.

Next week’s eliminated queen opening her chocolate bar after 7 consecutive years without an elimination:#DragRace pic.twitter.com/CtL4vkUwOq

— Joey Nolfi (@joeynolfi) March 12, 2022

lmao

yeah fuck like how long will this season be!?

It all felt so planned. The amount of canned laughs Deja was getting while the others were getting nothing, you could tell it was going in that direction.

these queens that go i’m just going to be, Ilana Glazer, a funny person that i find funny,
i just wish a siren would go off & signs drop from the ceiling like NO YOU WILL LOSE THAT IS NOT A CHARACTER

Is Dove Cameron to Kirk as Chet Hanks is to Tom?

Nah, different person, one of the Disney kid actor cohort

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dove_Cameron

Even though I didn't care love the performances as much as everyone else on the show did, the Lalaparuza was a lot better than I expected (especially compared to last season's head-to-head lip syncs), I think because of the added "Who's next?! What song!?" cliffhanging. That said, I do wonder if the logistics of setting something like this up is possible in the time frame between Kornbread getting hurt, especially since they really only shoot for 4-6 weeks.

the songs were SO GOOD

Oh right! Glad to see the show is big enough that Beyonce allowed one of her songs to be used.

i have a full lesbian crush on bosco after that luther number whew

Yeah having Luther be a choice was a killer touch. And while Bosco did it well, Willow’s trashy girl in love approach was awesome!

so enjoyed the lipsyncs, willow's measured emotional performance was awesome, feel a little bit like jazmine got rinsed for our viewing pleasure and then dumped, how they lost three lipsyncs with those performances I don't know, standard was high, I guess. Someone mentioned their lack of nerve but lots of the girls were bricking it. The snatch game wasn't as bad as I was expecting, now that I caught up, there have been a lot of unfunny snatch games in the past where girls got safe with mediocre efforts. Lived for angeria's church bling outfit, but her Tammy brown was pretty underwhelming considering the wealth of gags to mine from. deja's cackling and commentary as the only safe girl was funny, Yeh-A, that's how you do snatch game, bring it big and bold.

ok dying at these lmao

@hereisbosco I’m dying 🤣🤣 https://t.co/BThAk0o89x

— Jasmine (the producer) Kennedie (@jasminekennedie) March 23, 2022

Love their followup

This is us doing HRT

— Bosco (@hereisbosco) March 23, 2022

Transition by osmosis

— Justin Believes In Pink Skunk Supremacy (@kookieinglasses) March 23, 2022

I absolutely hate that smeared lip that Camden did this week and Willow did when she did her mushroom look. I just hate it.

chocalate bar DELIVERS

Willow's story tells of a person determined to excel here and her game plan is so measured and filled with such sweet ambition that hard to root against, this smart cookie has kinda cracked the code and some, the reserve and nerves are on show but it's not hindering the execution. Im living for willow's canny fashion commentary and their well thought out work in the competition. They will will this across the line.

at the rate this is progressing Kornbread will have healed and be able to take part in the final

Hahah indeed. Catching up on everything a bit -- first two episodes of Drag Race España again convincing me that's a lovely iteration of the franchise. (That said, not ENTIRELY at ease with the winner of the talent show episode, ie the second one, for reasons that would take a touch too long to spell out. Could have been worse I guess.)

lol, drag race s14e3350 -the newly re-animated corpse of rupaul welcomes kornbread's progeny to the completion for the everliving dragrace season, category is.... immortality, despite some scathing runaway reviews from michellebot and carson3po, Camden's pharoah chic is narrowly beaten by willow's cthulhu ensemble, the great old one prevails, these bitches are ready to take on the underworld and beyond.

So while we wait on tonight, Violet Chachki just out here being amazing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZfIOKEaYH0

Wow. That is some Eighties realness right there. I couldn't tell if it was Paul Rutherford or Marc Almond I was looking at.

Well I should have guessed we were getting this result.

I mean I’m not complaining I should note! But at this rate the finale will last for two months.

I know everyone complains about how long this season has been, but I love them all. Yes, even Daya.

yeah, they are a fun bunch with a lot of qualities between them. I've been stanning Daya betty from the start, she has had some sourpuss moments but also has slayed the runway this season and deserves to be in the running, ive not watched this episode yet so I taking the mention of Daya as another strong week

Personally I’m pleased as punch my own dark horse choice for the season won this week.

i have to give it to Daya this week, she sold the fuck out of that video. it’s the first time i was like, yknow she is kinda good.

love the winner this week, she just is slaying left & right now that she’s found her true groove.

and relieved for the outcome but JESUS CHRIST SEND SOME BITCHES HOME ALREADY

In two weeks four of them go home!

(Has there been any word about the finale? Are they going back to the pre-COVID approach?)

colisseum + lions

...I might pay money.

also PitStop this wk with Bob & Monique omg i was laughing so hard I was crying, love those two together