She Stretches And Glides Her Body Over A Blank Canvas When I Realized What She...
― he said, sexily, (dog latin), Tuesday, 21 January 2014 09:22 (ten years ago) link
You Won't Believe Who Is The Centrefold Model In This Dirty Magazine You're Tugging Off To
― UK Cop Humour (Bananaman Begins), Tuesday, 21 January 2014 10:21 (ten years ago) link
No I meant theres a word for the close formation flock swooping some birds do.
― the Bronski Review (Trayce), Tuesday, 21 January 2014 10:59 (ten years ago) link
I knew that I was just acting in the spirit of the thread title
― wilful brony (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 21 January 2014 11:02 (ten years ago) link
such a jerk
― Doctor Casino, Tuesday, 21 January 2014 14:11 (ten years ago) link
His First Four Sentences Made Me Skeptical. But His Fifth Sentence Blew My Mind. The Sixth Made Me Question The Existence Of God. By His Seventh I Was Beating Off. I Cleaned Up During His Eighth Just In Time For His Ninth To Blow My Mind All Over Again.
― frogbs, Tuesday, 21 January 2014 14:28 (ten years ago) link
Trayce, You Wouldn't Believe The Word For Flocks of Bird Swooping in Formation.And when you learn it you'll cry.
(It's murmuration)
― emil.y, Tuesday, 21 January 2014 14:36 (ten years ago) link
*sobs*, shares.
― UK Cop Humour (Bananaman Begins), Tuesday, 21 January 2014 15:39 (ten years ago) link
Know what? The "hide posts from Zimbio" thing does nothing.
― pplains, Tuesday, 21 January 2014 15:41 (ten years ago) link
http://i.imgur.com/Z2djWpG.jpg http://i.imgur.com/fzIreVg.jpg
― pplains, Tuesday, 21 January 2014 15:47 (ten years ago) link
l-o-l
― clouds, Tuesday, 21 January 2014 15:49 (ten years ago) link
Man Tries to Hug a Wild Lion, You Won’t Believe What Happens Next!earthporm.comWhen you hear of someone trying to hug a wild lion, you immediately think you know exactly what's about to happen. But trust me when i say, you will not
― my whole family is catholic so look at the pickle i'm in (zachlyon), Wednesday, 22 January 2014 01:22 (ten years ago) link
Hahaha! (thankyou. I thought it was sussuration so I was close)
― the Bronski Review (Trayce), Wednesday, 22 January 2014 02:20 (ten years ago) link
She's all I need, all my lifeI feel so good if I just say the wordSussuration
― UK Cop Humour (Bananaman Begins), Wednesday, 22 January 2014 10:07 (ten years ago) link
You're the meaning in my life...
― Doctor Casino, Wednesday, 22 January 2014 13:29 (ten years ago) link
A Guy Started Dancing Alone – But What Happened Next Was Amazing
― my father will guide me up the stairs to bed (anagram), Friday, 31 January 2014 12:41 (ten years ago) link
Here Are The Top 37 Things Dying People Say They Regret. Learn From It Before It’s Too Late
― my father will guide me up the stairs to bed (anagram), Saturday, 1 February 2014 06:23 (ten years ago) link
repost of a reblog of a german article which is a re-write of an australian article that says "hey vegans! you killed a load of animals. macho red meat eaters save the world with kindness to animals you narcissistic hippies. suck it up!"wack science, warped invective & cherry picked statistics in original.bros meat down yo's i gotsta loves me some red steak y'all
― massaman gai, Saturday, 1 February 2014 06:51 (ten years ago) link
Not a vegan but fuck that
― cardamon, Saturday, 1 February 2014 07:06 (ten years ago) link
https://scontent-b-lga.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/l/t1/1623643_10152234053285120_1303368807_n.jpg
a new and deadlier form
― Doctor Casino, Sunday, 9 February 2014 19:52 (ten years ago) link
oops wrong thread
amazed at how quickly + shamelessly huffpo's adapted to the upworthy brand of titles
― a commentary on self-absorbed youth culture in the social media age (zachlyon), Friday, 21 February 2014 03:19 (ten years ago) link
these have been really bad this week in the wake of that 'strangers kissing' thing, every third thing on my feed is now *bad* black and white images of people doing something banal for the first time, or doing it every day for a year, and "The result is beyond..." (actually gets cut off there, fuuuuuuuck this). I realize a lot of these tropes have been around for ages, but it's the crummy low-contrast badly-lit B&W that unites them now.
― Doctor Casino, Sunday, 23 March 2014 15:17 (ten years ago) link
Christ, event the NY Times and Slate, too.
― That's So (Eazy), Sunday, 23 March 2014 16:29 (ten years ago) link
https://scontent-a-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc1/t1.0-9/1922333_10153965577400724_1709314915_n.jpg
― we slowly invented brains (La Lechera), Monday, 24 March 2014 13:11 (ten years ago) link
look at her freakishly small hands
actual lol and wtf
― 1 P.3. Eternal (roxymuzak), Monday, 24 March 2014 19:43 (ten years ago) link
that is maybe the funniest thing ive seen on this thread
Like PageILX Group · Suggested PostAlready #PRINCE2 qualified? Have you thought about #AgilePM? Join our #free #webinar and find out everything you need to know!
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― cardamon, Monday, 24 March 2014 19:51 (ten years ago) link
Tempted to unfriend everyone I see repost this passive-aggressive bullshit:
"I am very selective when it comes to befriending friends and family that's why I don't have many on Facebook, but I'm doing this once and once only, so now's your chance.........It occurs to me that for each and every one of you on my friends list, I catch myself looking at your pictures, sharing jokes and news, as well as support during good and bad times. I am also happy to have you among my friends. We will see who will take the time to read this message until the end. If you appreciate your friends and family from all over the world, copy this into your status, even if it's just for a minute. I'm going to be watching to see who takes care of the friendship, just like me. Thank you all for being a part of my life. Copy and paste please, DON'T SHARE!! If no one reads my wall, this should be a very short experiment. So, if you read this, leave one word as to how we met. Only ONE word, then copy & paste this to your wall so I can leave a word"
― bizarro gazzara, Monday, 31 March 2014 13:10 (ten years ago) link
Ha, yeah, instant unfriend, also confusing as hell. Copy and paste, but add ONE word about how they met? Like at the end it would just say ''tree'' or ''street'' or ''doggystyle''?
― Doctor Casino, Monday, 31 March 2014 13:43 (ten years ago) link
"Is 'crack house' one word or two?"
― carl agatha, Monday, 31 March 2014 14:40 (ten years ago) link
I think what it's trying to say is: "Leave a word in the comments section saying how we met, then copy-paste this message into your own status so that I can leave a word on yours saying how we met." So the only way you can prove your friendship to this person is to impose the same friendship test on all your other friends...
― jmm, Monday, 31 March 2014 15:10 (ten years ago) link
facebook is the worst
― Nhex, Monday, 31 March 2014 16:08 (ten years ago) link
i don't have any data to back this up but i feel like there was a moment recently when facebook entered its decline -- like i can more easily envision its passing over to the land of myspace, friendster, etc. i mean, everyone know it would pass eventually but i feel like it's going to be sooner? no one seems excited about it anymore. i could be wrong though. i dont know what the kids are doing these days
― marcos, Monday, 31 March 2014 16:17 (ten years ago) link
The kids want nothing to do with Facebook, apparently.
I'm starting to see the same signs I saw with Flickr. Hit someone's profile, and yeah, they're still commenting on others' posts or posting a link to Between Two Ferns, but look at their albums. Seeing a lot of ones where the last one updated is something like "Christmas 2012" or "At the Lake 2013".
I'm finally at the point where I have Facebook friends and Instagram friends. I don't know what will come next to tie everything back together, but it seems really segmented right now and Facebook -- with its older audience, news feeds in the corner about Will Wheaton and menu bar full of apps that seemed to have come from out of nowhere -- is looking very Prodigy-like lately.
― pplains, Monday, 31 March 2014 16:23 (ten years ago) link
The counterpoint to that "the kids don't use facebook" argument is that we don't know that they won't start using it more when they get older. Snapchat and tumblr aren't of much use for creating a page to share pictures of your baby with family, tracking down your high school classmates, etc.
― james franco tur(oll)ing test (Hurting 2), Monday, 31 March 2014 16:29 (ten years ago) link
But obvs that doesn't mean that something isn't going to come along that fills those purposes better
― james franco tur(oll)ing test (Hurting 2), Monday, 31 March 2014 16:30 (ten years ago) link
I gotta feel that the latter will come true before the former.
― pplains, Monday, 31 March 2014 17:22 (ten years ago) link
everyone shut up i don't know where else to put this but i need to put it somewhere
http://s9.postimg.org/rq8wqvf4v/cleveland.jpg
― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Tuesday, 1 April 2014 03:50 (ten years ago) link
<<<enter evil>>> you walked right into my trap and set up this next remark
brb, adding this to my browser macros for easy ilx posting
― Doctor Casino, Tuesday, 1 April 2014 12:15 (ten years ago) link
Cleveland jokes wow so edgy such humor wow
― bi-polar uncle (its OK-he's dead) (Phil D.), Tuesday, 1 April 2014 12:17 (ten years ago) link
you walked right into my trap and set up this next remark
― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Tuesday, 1 April 2014 12:58 (ten years ago) link
i'm so lonely
― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Tuesday, 1 April 2014 12:59 (ten years ago) link
lonely lonely lonely LONELY. Now I am a troll.._.
― beavis bacon (zxc), Tuesday, 1 April 2014 13:04 (ten years ago) link
or Sting.
― Mark G, Tuesday, 1 April 2014 13:30 (ten years ago) link
seriously i don't understand why people still find cleveland jokes funny
detroit gets all the depression glamour and cleveland just gets the same tired burning river jokes
― marcos, Tuesday, 1 April 2014 14:07 (ten years ago) link
smoking a blu is like smoking crack. exactly, precisely
― beavis bacon (zxc), Tuesday, 1 April 2014 14:08 (ten years ago) link
Cleveland sure has a lot of people traps.
― pplains, Tuesday, 1 April 2014 15:02 (ten years ago) link
ahaha, my clever ploy of doubting the Indians' opening day attendance has lured him in. Now I must be patient, wait for just the right moment...
― james franco tur(oll)ing test (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 1 April 2014 21:04 (ten years ago) link
ex coworker just went through some kind of bad breakup, posting like 20 of these aday :/
https://i.imgur.com/kJwM1iq.jpg
― Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 18 April 2016 19:23 (eight years ago) link
A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. One day she asked Johnny what his problem was he replied, “I’m too smart for the first grade, my sister is in the third grade and I’m smarter than her too.”The teacher took him to the principal’s office and explained the situation to the principal. The principal told her that he would give Johnny a test, and if he failed to answer one question he would have to go back to the first grade and be quiet. The teacher and Johnny both agreed.Principal: “What is 3 x 3?”Johnny: “9.”Principal: “6 x 6?”Johnny: “36.”And so it went on like this, the principal asked him every question a third grader should know. Finally after about an hour he told the teacher “I see no reason Johnny can’t go to the third grade, he answered all of my questions right.”The teacher asked if she could ask him some questions. The principal and Johnny agree.Teacher: “What does a cow have 4 of that I only have 2 of?”Johnny: “Legs”Teacher: “What do you have in your pants that I don’t have?”The principal gasps but before he can stop him from answering Johnny says, “Pockets.”Teacher: “What does a dog do that a man steps into?”Johnny: “Pants.”Teacher: “What starts with F and ends with K and means a lot of excitement?”Johnny: “Firetruck.”The principal breaths a big sigh of relief and says “Put Johnny in the fifth grade, I got the last 4 questions wrong myself.”
― Kiarostami bag (milo z), Tuesday, 19 April 2016 01:13 (eight years ago) link
http://emojipedia-us.s3.amazonaws.com/cache/2b/ac/2bacdc9269f34c79dec4dd966b8dac57.png
― larry appleton, Tuesday, 19 April 2016 01:56 (eight years ago) link
A dog does.... pants?
― never ending bath infusion (Doctor Casino), Tuesday, 19 April 2016 02:11 (eight years ago) link
Dogs pant
― she started dancing to that (Finefinemusic), Thursday, 21 April 2016 03:50 (eight years ago) link
dog-pants joke depends on excluding the subject of the sentence ("It pants" would convey the sense more clearly + spoil the joke) which I can see feeling somehow incomplete or incorrect, grammatically, but in the context of "answering a trick question" I let it slide
weird how such processes happen completely 'under the radar' -- until something goes wrong & communication breaks down (cf Heidegger on the ontological status of tools)
― bernard snowy, Thursday, 21 April 2016 04:01 (eight years ago) link
...why am i explaining jokes to people on ilx, instesad of laughing at jokes in another 30-minute netflix comedy program?
― bernard snowy, Thursday, 21 April 2016 04:46 (eight years ago) link
"instesad: the app for when you would prefer to be sad instead
― bernard snowy, Thursday, 21 April 2016 04:47 (eight years ago) link
hahaha
thanks both of you. yeah i get the joke now but once it failed to land it just got stuck in the throat as it were.
― never ending bath infusion (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 21 April 2016 12:27 (eight years ago) link
please stop with this hilarious Mass thing
― Het schaduwkabinet reshuffle (seandalai), Thursday, 27 October 2016 20:08 (seven years ago) link
how tf am I still seeing people posting/being tagged in shitty ads for discounted Ray-Bans on facebook in 2017?
[I know it's unintentional but come on]
― kinder, Friday, 9 June 2017 19:00 (six years ago) link
https://scontent.fphl2-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/19756702_1599164503448724_6422587242939143484_n.jpg?oh=e07eb664149a28e8f026d2baf064eb56&oe=59F9BCB7
― how's life, Saturday, 22 July 2017 14:07 (six years ago) link
That's horrible. I feel bad for the ellipses.
― El Tomboto, Saturday, 22 July 2017 14:18 (six years ago) link
haven't been on facebook properly for ages. decided to start posting again to keep in touch with friends and family with whom i wouldn't otherwise keep in touch. now in an argument with some 'be nice to tories otherwise they won't vote for you' centrist bullshit friends. :/
― Fizzles, Wednesday, 3 January 2018 21:07 (six years ago) link
if by "being nice", they meant don't carve your initials in their backside with a razor, or waterboard them, or repeatedly slap them about the face and head, then your centrist friends have a valid point and are not entirely out of line, imo.
otoh, if they meant do not challenge tories when they talk nonsense, or spout racism/sexism, or cite non-existent 'facts' or blatantly incorrect 'history', or merely indulge in mean-spiritedness, then fuck 'em.
― A is for (Aimless), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 22:58 (six years ago) link
tbh aimless i think this was the crux of the argument. i wasn't so sure about the initials on the backside or the slapping i'm afraid.
― Fizzles, Wednesday, 3 January 2018 23:04 (six years ago) link
i mean wasn’t so sure about them being bad.
― Fizzles, Wednesday, 3 January 2018 23:10 (six years ago) link
Is there a way to change your visibility settings so it doesn't show everyone when you're going to an event? I find FB helpful to keep track of what shows I'm going to but I don't like that it clutters up peoples' feeds every time I add a danged event.
― Simon H., Tuesday, 26 June 2018 14:08 (five years ago) link
https://i.imgur.com/LdBcelY.jpg
― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 30 October 2019 00:14 (four years ago) link