Goat Simulator

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The world is again made right

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 5 February 2014 16:32 (six years ago) link

combine with Farming Simulator and Euro Truck Simulator and we have every important part of reality covered.

Merdeyeux, Wednesday, 5 February 2014 16:36 (six years ago) link

goty

hang son doong (am0n), Wednesday, 5 February 2014 20:45 (six years ago) link

xp only once online multiplayer is sorted out and players playing as goats can be delivered from one online farm to another by players playing as truck drivers.

And when you f--- up, you go backwards (snoball), Wednesday, 5 February 2014 20:46 (six years ago) link

I know it sounds like a wild impossible dream, but I believe that it can happen within this decade. In VR!

And when you f--- up, you go backwards (snoball), Wednesday, 5 February 2014 20:47 (six years ago) link

I mean, come on, this is exactly what the Oculus Rift was meant for.

And when you f--- up, you go backwards (snoball), Wednesday, 5 February 2014 20:47 (six years ago) link

lol at goty

Panaïs Pnin (The Yellow Kid), Thursday, 6 February 2014 04:59 (six years ago) link

GOAT PETTING SIMULATOR:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAxv24WzhIA

bizarro gazzara, Thursday, 6 February 2014 10:41 (six years ago) link

http://goatgoat.ytmnd.com/

dan m, Thursday, 6 February 2014 13:56 (six years ago) link

^^^all time

dan m, Thursday, 6 February 2014 13:56 (six years ago) link

In before "Goatse simulator" joeks.

Ian from Etobicoke (Phil D.), Thursday, 6 February 2014 14:24 (six years ago) link

I like what happens to the goat's head when it climbs ladders.

carl agatha, Thursday, 6 February 2014 15:26 (six years ago) link

three weeks pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JN2QUhaKN2Q

am0n, Friday, 28 February 2014 17:44 (five years ago) link

holy shit axe goat

also I hope like hell that is the in-game soundtrack

Wahaca Flocka Flame (DJP), Friday, 28 February 2014 18:14 (five years ago) link

I want it

sleeve, Friday, 28 February 2014 18:22 (five years ago) link

new lick feature

<3

j., Friday, 28 February 2014 18:25 (five years ago) link

three weeks pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvWGLcdI8o8

am0n, Thursday, 27 March 2014 14:30 (five years ago) link

"Goat Simulator brings next gen goat simulation to a whole new level. You no longer have to fantasize about being a goat, your dreams have finally come true."

Matt DC, Thursday, 27 March 2014 14:48 (five years ago) link

This does beg the question as to what the previous, less sophisticated, generation of goat simulation involved.

Matt DC, Thursday, 27 March 2014 14:49 (five years ago) link

my brother in law is going to love this

dan m, Thursday, 27 March 2014 14:50 (five years ago) link

living the dream

Angkor Waht (Neil S), Saturday, 29 March 2014 11:22 (five years ago) link

http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2014/apr/02/goat-simulator-review-video-game

The Graun is really not down with this.

Matt DC, Wednesday, 2 April 2014 13:05 (five years ago) link

Jump over a fence towards the Zero-G testing facility and, as well as the legend "Fuck the police" being blazoned across the screen, your goat can float around therein.

Through various means you can transform the goat into an alien, a robot, a giraffe, a whale, or – by dragging five humans onto a pentagram in a corner of the map – "Devil Goat".

And this only got one star?!

bi-polar uncle (its OK-he's dead) (Phil D.), Wednesday, 2 April 2014 13:14 (five years ago) link

love the DM's article on this game

But what makes these games so appealing?
Massively multiplayer online role-playing games (MMORPG) aren’t new...

facepalm etc

Drop soap, not bombs (Ste), Wednesday, 2 April 2014 13:57 (five years ago) link

i mean, this game is literally just a jokey tech demo/gamejam that got commercially released due to popular demand. dunno why you'd have any sort of expectations for it

ciderpress, Wednesday, 2 April 2014 14:00 (five years ago) link

Missed opportunity to call this G.O.A.T. Simulator.

Eric H., Wednesday, 2 April 2014 14:07 (five years ago) link

this article is pertinent IMO http://www.theonion.com/articles/hey-you-got-something-to-eat,11163/

Angkor Waht (Neil S), Wednesday, 2 April 2014 14:13 (five years ago) link

Snakes On A Plane!

halber mensch halber keks (imago), Wednesday, 2 April 2014 14:45 (five years ago) link

This just makes it look better:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJ_lhPHeiwI

President Frankenstein (kingfish), Friday, 4 April 2014 03:58 (five years ago) link

Through various means you can transform the goat into an alien, a robot, a giraffe, a whale, or – by dragging five humans onto a pentagram in a corner of the map – "Devil Goat".

these wankers took a great idea and made it stupid. heartbroken

twistent consistent (Noodle Vague), Friday, 4 April 2014 07:36 (five years ago) link

Keep the geep ridin':

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-26882203

Matt DC, Friday, 4 April 2014 09:10 (five years ago) link

xp yeah, everyone knows you need to drag six humans onto a pentagram to make a devil goat. fuckin' amateurs.

bizarro gazzara, Friday, 4 April 2014 10:14 (five years ago) link

Details from the Steam page:

About the Game

Goat Simulator is the latest in goat simulation technology, bringing next-gen goat simulation to YOU. You no longer have to fantasize about being a goat, your dreams have finally come true! WASD to write history.

Gameplay-wise, Goat Simulator is all about causing as much destruction as you possibly can as a goat. It has been compared to an old-school skating game, except instead of being a skater, you're a goat, and instead of doing tricks, you wreck stuff. Destroy things with style, such as doing a backflip while headbutting a bucket through a window, and you'll earn even more points! Or you could just give Steam Workshop a spin and create your own goats, levels, missions, and more! When it comes to goats, not even the sky is the limit, as you can probably just bug through it and crash the game.

Disclaimer: Goat Simulator is a completely stupid game and, to be honest, you should probably spend your money on something else, such as a hula hoop, a pile of bricks, or maybe pool your money together with your friends and buy a real goat.

Key Features

-You can be a goat

-Get points for wrecking stuff - brag to your friends that you're the alpha goat

-Steam Workshop support - make your own goats, levels, missions, game modes, and more!

-MILLIONS OF BUGS! We're only eliminating the crash-bugs, everything else is hilarious and we're keeping it

-In-game physics that spazz out all the time

-Seriously look at that goat's neck

-You can be a goat

President Frankenstein (kingfish), Friday, 4 April 2014 15:31 (five years ago) link

i haven't played it yet since i've been real busy this week but planning to grab it as soon as i get home tonight

ciderpress, Friday, 4 April 2014 15:33 (five years ago) link

-MILLIONS OF BUGS! We're only eliminating the crash-bugs, everything else is hilarious and we're keeping it

i wish mainstream devs were this honest

bizarro gazzara, Friday, 4 April 2014 15:46 (five years ago) link

I'm enjoying the high-scoring reader reviews:

Commodent
Apr 1, 2014
10
This game has truly given me a deeper perspective of life. It has it all, a magnificent story that speaks straight to your heart, stunning voice acting (baaaa), and a wide room for exploration.

Swayvill
Apr 1, 2014
10
This is the game that all fans of realistic goat simulation have been waiting for! I graduated from biology & now work as a farmer at a goat farm and I have to applaud the game's simulation. Very realistic, very fun, very engaging simulator overall..

Anoukshuk
Apr 1, 2014
9
If you have been looking for the best product available in terms of simulation of 'Capra aegagrus hircus' - or the domestic goat, look no further. This simulator manages to avoid all the traps of confusing the representation with that of the inferior 'Ovis aries, or sheep (after all, goats tend to display less clumping behavior than sheep). Instead, Goat Simulator focuses on the unique skills and abilities of the independent goat, such as jumping and licking, but allows for some freedom of interpretation to enhance the overall experience of being a goat.
All in all, Goat Simulator will finally satisfy the high demand for goat simulation we have seen in today's market.

Arphiax Apr 1, 2014
10
This is by far the most splendid goat simulator I have ever played. It captures the running, jumping, licking, and headbutting essence of a real goat in a way that the other goat sims just don't deliver. If you have ever pondered about the daily life of a goat, look no further.
Also includes the addictive mini game 'Flappy Goat' so this is like getting two games for the price of one.

10/10 would goat it again.

and the haters:

notsoslow Apr 1, 2014
0
This is the death of PC gaming. We could've stopped it. Our standards have become so low that we rate indie games that look like they've been made in an hour 1010. Stop for a second and think about the future of video games, please.

President Frankenstein (kingfish), Friday, 4 April 2014 15:50 (five years ago) link

Stop for a second and think about the future of video games, please.

http://www.djrobswift.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/bruce-lee-dont-think-feel-gif-MWB0.gif

bizarro gazzara, Friday, 4 April 2014 15:58 (five years ago) link

this game is basically skyrim fyi

adam, Friday, 4 April 2014 16:08 (five years ago) link

skyrim is the best pc game ever so that's not a bad place to be

ciderpress, Friday, 4 April 2014 16:11 (five years ago) link

Waiting the inevitable Oculus/goat action

President Frankenstein (kingfish), Friday, 4 April 2014 16:14 (five years ago) link

Haha, I got a trailer for "Gods Not Dead" as the pre-roll for this. Even better given all the deliberately satanic shit they chucked into the game for a laff.

President Frankenstein (kingfish), Friday, 4 April 2014 16:31 (five years ago) link

these wankers took a great idea and made it stupid. heartbroken

― twistent consistent (Noodle Vague), Friday, 4 April 2014 08:36 Bookmark

chacun à son goat

r|t|c, Friday, 4 April 2014 17:22 (five years ago) link

rat ta tat ta dah...

Mark G, Friday, 4 April 2014 17:26 (five years ago) link

While this is pretty funny, it also leads to the unedifying spectacle of everyone wanting to be in on the joke and outlets, without a trace of irony, awarding Goat Simulator the kind of decent scores and writeups that may tempt people towards a purchase. This is where I have to say baa humbug. The joke with Goat Simulator is that it's crap. And while this is a funny joke for 10 minutes, it becomes a different thing when the game's on the front page of Steam for £7.

http://i418.photobucket.com/albums/pp264/killahz1_2008/aholes/HATERZ-3.jpg

the portentous pepper (govern yourself accordingly), Friday, 4 April 2014 19:36 (five years ago) link

Never forget the goat listener on greenspun...

Spencer Chow, Friday, 4 April 2014 20:14 (five years ago) link

I'm waiting for someone to hack multiplayer and voicechat into this thing. Then we should see some fun.

President Frankenstein (kingfish), Friday, 4 April 2014 20:43 (five years ago) link

when juggalos game

We hugged with no names exchanged (forksclovetofu), Friday, 4 April 2014 21:13 (five years ago) link

Is there a rift/debate about video game 'theory' or what have you? Like, as an exaggeration, merry prankster goat simulator types vs. "Let's make each shooter more realistic than the last one" types.

brimstead, Friday, 4 April 2014 21:50 (five years ago) link

Like, accurately simulating modern physics/life vs. making up yr own physical laws or w/e

brimstead, Friday, 4 April 2014 21:51 (five years ago) link

I haven't played this yet but I have seen a few videos. Not sure it will hold up longer than 10 mins. I would probably give it more a benefit of the doubt if Octodad hadn't come out recently and offered a truly bizarre and inhuman playing experience. This seems more like a GTA mod with a goat instead of the main avatar or something.

▴▲ ▴TH3CR()$BY$H()W▴▲ ▴ (Adam Bruneau), Friday, 4 April 2014 22:05 (five years ago) link

more games should aim for "GTA with a" or "GTA in a ". Shenmue = Moses

brimstead, Friday, 4 April 2014 22:10 (five years ago) link

Finally got home from Northwestern Arkansas. Downloading now.

President Frankenstein (kingfish), Saturday, 5 April 2014 02:43 (five years ago) link

Like, accurately simulating modern physics/life vs. making up yr own physical laws or w/e

everything is an abstraction to some level, thanks to the uncanny valley, so how much do you play up that abstraction and what can you do with you deliberately limit yourself in visual verisimilitude? Zelda: Wind Waker has held up the best of any LoZ game for the last 10+ years.

President Frankenstein (kingfish), Saturday, 5 April 2014 02:45 (five years ago) link

Oh man, even the soundtrack is sarcastic

President Frankenstein (kingfish), Saturday, 5 April 2014 03:51 (five years ago) link

As the resident ILG lover of terrible games I can't even begin to explain how heart wrenching my lack of compatible system is.

Corpsepaint Counterpaint (jjjusten), Saturday, 5 April 2014 03:58 (five years ago) link

Jesus Christ do they openly ref Tony Hawk in everything but explicit name

President Frankenstein (kingfish), Saturday, 5 April 2014 04:02 (five years ago) link

Ok, so far I've found Goathenge and the tv where you can play 'Flappy Goat'(starring NyanGoat).

President Frankenstein (kingfish), Saturday, 5 April 2014 22:19 (five years ago) link

Goat Simulator
April 7 at 6:54am · Edited ·

ATTENTION GOATS

A lot of you have been asking for DLCs for Goat Simulator. However, we wanted to do a free update instead, because goats don't like to charge for new content.

Patch 1.1 for Goat Simulator will be adding a whole new playable map, roughly the size of the original map, local splitscreen multiplayer, new achievements, new goats, and more!

Patch will come in the middle of May!

Honey-Roasted Cashews (kingfish), Thursday, 10 April 2014 07:44 (five years ago) link

dam man

purposely lend impetus to my HOOS (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Thursday, 10 April 2014 14:33 (five years ago) link

three weeks pass...

If you thought Goat Simulator's suburban setting was just a ramshackle playground for an adorable animal get into all sorts of glitchy, physics-based mayhem, you'd be wrong. It turns out that this chaotic realm of mischievous mammals and jetpacks has a far more sinister purpose: it's purgatory.

http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2014-05-09-goat-simulators-disturbing-lore-finally-explained

bizarro gazzara, Saturday, 10 May 2014 23:28 (five years ago) link

three weeks pass...

v1.1 PATCH is out! Goat parkour is go!

also:

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=793433460668309&set=vb.207933782551616

Stephen King's Threaderstarter (kingfish), Wednesday, 4 June 2014 21:11 (five years ago) link

one year passes...

This is out and on sale for PS3 this week, fyi.

Grilled Floam In A Gak Reduction (Old Lunch), Saturday, 15 August 2015 14:46 (four years ago) link


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