She's a Cambridge graduate, which certainly shocked me, because dumb fucking "Hearts of Darkness" pieces about hip-hop clubs by safari-suited white broads are rarely written by Oxbridge types.
― Dom Passantino, Thursday, 5 June 2008 11:00 (sixteen years ago) link
oh, rarely?
― Mark G, Thursday, 5 June 2008 11:02 (sixteen years ago) link
It's all got a bit Dombot in here.
― Matt DC, Thursday, 5 June 2008 11:05 (sixteen years ago) link
i like how the first two-thirds of the article is exclusively about wearing tracksuits
― braveclub, Thursday, 5 June 2008 11:05 (sixteen years ago) link
What song did you do Dom?
― DJ Mencap, Thursday, 5 June 2008 11:28 (sixteen years ago) link
Chorus: White girls (Suzie, Janet Karen) Going through my mind (Sarah, Jess, and Judy too) White girls (Julie, Beth, and Sharon) Help me unwind (The more I see, the more I do) Don't Tell Minister Farrakhan (That's right) He don't want to know what's going on (Okay) 'Cause white girls won't go away
I've had a lot of education There's one thing I know about, and that's miscegenation
Ticket to ride, white girl highway Tell all the white girls, they could swing my way What up, baby girl?, How you doin, is you single? Have you ever messed, with a light-skinned Mandingo? And I could give a damn, what all my friends say to me You and me baby, could start making up for slavery Girl, I'm just playin', I got a white mom You got any Black in you?, (No) Would you like some? Oh word, you like my songs, that be playing on the radio? Well you know the sincerest, form of flattery's fellatio
I ain't a picky guy, so I really don't care If you a hippy white chick, who got underarm hair Or a ghetto white chick, who be trying to act Black With your name on a chain, and your hair slicked back
You could be from anywhere, Maine down to Malibu Cross a trailer park, on the way to Park Avenue See me with a Black girl, you got the wrong man Or might have just been, a white girl with a tan And sisters don't get mad, 'cause I'm out banging white chicks 'Cause we all look the same, when you turn off the light switch
See back in the day, I was getting no play Then I went the white girl way, like O. J. So you can call on Kato, but I'm sorry O'Shea 'Cause I got my white girl, and everything's okay
(Chorus)
I've, had Rich ones, poor ones, I even had some famous ones Like Traci Lords, Houstin, and Jenna Jameson Right about now, I'm on probation for three years 'Cause I caught a stat case, for having sex with Britney Spears Getting head in the dressing room, I bust on her chin Oops (pfff), I did it again
Gweneth Paltrow always said, I be making her laugh She gave me head 'cause if I hit it, I'd break her in half She ain't even the only, white actress on my matress I even had sex with that, fat chick from The Practice Bang Katie Holmes, who's always trying to take me home Call me on the phone saying, "Casey make me moan" Smoking weed in her dressing room, on a higher plane I hate country music, want to bang Shania Twain
Whether short or tall, whether blonde or brunette I ain't met a white girl, who I wouldn't do yet And I got Alyssa Milano, hitting high notes like soprano When we all up in my bedroom, making some mulattoes I really don't think, there's a girl that I missed I used to like Mariah, 'til I learned she was mixed
For those who's getting furious, please don't take me serious I'm just wil'in out, like Eddie Murphy in "Delirious" But if you took offense, and you're Black or you're white I'm glad you did sucker, 'cause you way too uptight
― Dom Passantino, Thursday, 5 June 2008 11:31 (sixteen years ago) link
It's a sea of sports caps, hotpants, shell suits, fake bling, huge sunglasses and Vanilla Ice dance moves.
Sounds great. Fake bling: lol black people!
― Neil S, Thursday, 5 June 2008 11:44 (sixteen years ago) link
Jane Mulkerrins was formerly drummer for the rock group Cocorosie
― Dom Passantino, Thursday, 5 June 2008 11:45 (sixteen years ago) link
That Nick Sylvester Pitchfork Weezer review/outburst/eruption from a few years ago remains one of the worst pieces of music writing I've ever read.
― Savannah Smiles, Thursday, 5 June 2008 12:58 (sixteen years ago) link
Coxy? What is this, Tarby's Golfy Diary?
― Dingbod Kesterson, Thursday, 5 June 2008 13:02 (sixteen years ago) link
(oho, on the green with Ademy, Drewy, Kieran Hebdeny and Tuungy etc.)
― Dingbod Kesterson, Thursday, 5 June 2008 13:04 (sixteen years ago) link
Along with the White Girls vid is another one by 'Black Jesus' called 'What it smell like'.
― VeronaInTheClub, Thursday, 5 June 2008 22:11 (sixteen years ago) link
Seems Tim Burgess of The Charlatans has got a gig as a columnist for the Independent's music section. And fuck me, this is *horrible*:
http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/music-magazine/music-magazine-features/introducing-tim-burgess-840139.html
Their live set consist of songs containing lyrics such as, 'I can't hear what you're saying.' and I think the line 'I must kill you' sums up a lot, and the enthralling song 'We Don't Need Your Honesty' with the chorus shouting the word repetition over and over, then coupled with television.
They are fast learners, and even better leaders. They get it right. Guess Electricity In Our Homes truly are vintage classic in the finest sense. They are the new Post Punk renaissance
― Bill A, Monday, 9 June 2008 12:00 (sixteen years ago) link
That is puzzling in every way. Has it deliberately not been proofread?
― DJ Mencap, Monday, 9 June 2008 12:05 (sixteen years ago) link
I've never seen a published piece of writing with so many grammatical errors.
― chap, Monday, 9 June 2008 12:07 (sixteen years ago) link
Reads like a wind-up, to be honest.
― Dingbod Kesterson, Monday, 9 June 2008 12:32 (sixteen years ago) link
When I first read it I thought it must be some kind of piss-take, given the number of mistakes. I love the way that he drops in that Electricity In Our Homes will be supporting The Charlatans, and that their "Charlie Moderate" is also his "dj partner". No vested interest there, then.
― Bill A, Monday, 9 June 2008 12:34 (sixteen years ago) link
Technically, as in using languages, checking facts etc. it is useless.
The message is correct though. :)
― Geir Hongro, Monday, 9 June 2008 21:48 (sixteen years ago) link
hiring tim burgess is such an independent-y thing to do: a bit like having dom joly as columnist. there can't be many people out there who'll buy a paper because tim burgess has a slot.
― banriquit, Tuesday, 10 June 2008 09:49 (sixteen years ago) link
Haha OTM.
Tim Burgess writing in the manner of a 16 year old asked to write school report on pop music there.
― Matt DC, Tuesday, 10 June 2008 10:04 (sixteen years ago) link
I'm kind of assuming this is a wind-up, when the papers get David James or Rio Ferdinand to do a column they at least get a journalist in to actually write it. I know the Indy is on a tight budget but that would be ridiculous.
― Matt DC, Tuesday, 10 June 2008 10:07 (sixteen years ago) link
I can't imagine any 45-year-old Indy reader feeling remotely nostalgic, or feeling anything at all, about the Charlatans, Madchester's very own Swinging Blue Jeans, The.
― Dingbod Kesterson, Tuesday, 10 June 2008 10:32 (sixteen years ago) link
http://www.sfweekly.com/2009-05-06/music/kill-yourself-if-you-listen-to-classic-rock/
― High in Openness (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 8 May 2009 18:03 (fifteen years ago) link
^^^unbelievably terrible. let's challenge received wisdom with... a different kind of received wisdom! urgh fuck you
Surprised you read an article in the Weekly.
― Alex in SF, Friday, 8 May 2009 18:05 (fifteen years ago) link
I don't have anything to read at the moment (a rarity, but I am poor and haven't been to any bookstores lately)
― High in Openness (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 8 May 2009 18:07 (fifteen years ago) link
Libraries are friends to the poor!
― Alex in SF, Friday, 8 May 2009 18:07 (fifteen years ago) link
You know, the big problem with it is this:
probably every other person sharing your Wi-Fi connection at the coffeeshop right now knows the lyrics to "You Shook Me All Night Long," but how many can sing along with a single song by My Morning Jacket, TV on the Radio, Joanna Newsom, Of Montreal, or any of the other best rock artists of our era?
This is like being in the 60s and going "Yeah, the Rolling Stones are good, but why arent you listening to the Fugs and the Godz and Terry Riley?
Our shitty generation is doing JUST FINE adding to the shitty classic rock canon thanks to Foo Fighters, Bush, Stone Temple Toilets, Sublime, The Chili Peppers, Incubus and 1,000 other bands that OUR shitty kids are gonna know still all the words to 25 years from now.
― gui lovato (Whiney G. Weingarten), Friday, 8 May 2009 18:27 (fifteen years ago) link
Dude is getting his strawmen mixed up. The same people that have
dinner parties where the hosts put Heart on the stereo
― gui lovato (Whiney G. Weingarten), Friday, 8 May 2009 18:29 (fifteen years ago) link
Stone Temple Toilets
you did not
― triple-hater protection (J0rdan S.), Friday, 8 May 2009 18:30 (fifteen years ago) link
i can think of a few ilxors past and present who would agree with the notion of you should kill yourself if you listen to classic rock.
― pfunkboy (Herman G. Neuname), Friday, 8 May 2009 18:32 (fifteen years ago) link
I don't listen to the radio at all (much less classic rock radio) so its not like I took this personally or anything but the piece is just such a mess of unfounded assumptions and misdirected anger the only person it made me want to kill was the writer. Like, does he really have that much of a problem with his parents and their record collections? grow the fuck up
― High in Openness (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 8 May 2009 18:35 (fifteen years ago) link
to take one minor example, the central problem with classic rock acts still filling arenas isn't that they're classic rock, its that arena shows BY THEIR VERY NATURE suck shit. Its not like I want to see any of my favorite bands in an arena...
― High in Openness (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 8 May 2009 18:36 (fifteen years ago) link
I know this guy has been ref'd on ilx before because I went to his blog and have seen his article on fruitcake before.
― kingkongvsgodzilla, Friday, 8 May 2009 18:39 (fifteen years ago) link
article blog post
― kingkongvsgodzilla, Friday, 8 May 2009 18:40 (fifteen years ago) link
My Morning Jacket, TV on the Radio, Joanna Newsom, Of Montreal are all classic rock
― tylerw, Friday, 8 May 2009 18:42 (fifteen years ago) link
probably every other person sharing your Wi-Fi connection at the coffeeshop right now knows the lyrics to "You Shook Me All Night Long," but how many can sing along with a single song by My Morning Jacket, TV on the Radio, Joanna Newsom, Of Montreal, or any of the other best rock artists of our era
― xhuxk, Friday, 8 May 2009 18:42 (fifteen years ago) link
Pretty sure there aren't four existing 'rock artists' he could have mentioned instead to prevent his article from being spectacularly retarded
― display mane (DJ Mencap), Friday, 8 May 2009 19:03 (fifteen years ago) link
Is the strawman here even prevalent enough to write an article about? The vast majority of people I speak to or hand with or whatever are in their 20s or 30s and I don't think any of them listen to classic rock exclusively
― display mane (DJ Mencap), Friday, 8 May 2009 19:09 (fifteen years ago) link
hand = hang
True enough, especially since he doesn't provide any sort of rationale as to why they are "the best" -- apart from "because I say so." And considering most of the article rests on the argument "because I say so," he comes off sounding like a petulant teenager.
― giving a shit when it isn't your turn to give a shit (sarahel), Friday, 8 May 2009 19:17 (fifteen years ago) link
this guy is a teenager, right?
― tylerw, Friday, 8 May 2009 19:19 (fifteen years ago) link
xp Shakey: Thanks for posting this ... I read the article yesterday and immediately felt that it deserved a place on this thread.
― giving a shit when it isn't your turn to give a shit (sarahel), Friday, 8 May 2009 19:21 (fifteen years ago) link
http://www.myspace.com/morbidund
right?
― once he puts that purple he will become an enemy (omar little), Friday, 8 May 2009 19:21 (fifteen years ago) link
Music: White Lion, Elzhi, Black Milk, RA The Rugged Man, White Rabbits, Bill Callahan, El-P, Avril, Replacements, DJ Khaled, MC 401(k), Brother Ali, Kanye West, 50 Cent, John Maxfield, The Long Winters, Band of Horses, The Streets, Ghostface, DJ Crucial, Serengeti, MC Paul Barman, The Frozen Food Section
xp omar: I think you found him. What I want to know, and one of the things that makes me dislike the SF Weekly, is why they are paying a bunch of non-local music writers, when the SF Bay Area has plenty of music writers? Is this a corporate thing? By that I mean, is this New Jersey dude and the other non-local music writers who write for the SF Weekly part of a New Times/Village Voice stable?
― giving a shit when it isn't your turn to give a shit (sarahel), Friday, 8 May 2009 19:27 (fifteen years ago) link
Each music editor in the VVM/NT chain is pretty much free to put together his/her own stable of music writers -- at least that was my experience.
― QuantumNoise, Friday, 8 May 2009 19:32 (fifteen years ago) link
"Is this a corporate thing?"
Yes.
― Alex in SF, Friday, 8 May 2009 19:41 (fifteen years ago) link
I mean in so far as I don't think that VVM/NT has a particularly loyalty to the idea of using local writers for media (or for that mannner anything else.)
― Alex in SF, Friday, 8 May 2009 19:44 (fifteen years ago) link
And in this case it looks like this dude writes for all the Weeklies. There are links to LA and OC Weekly articles on that Myspace page.
― Alex in SF, Friday, 8 May 2009 19:47 (fifteen years ago) link