C90 - Masturbation

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Pink Floyd - See Emily Play

― Ben Squircle, Wednesday, 13 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

the cramps - "under the wires", about making dirty phone calls("I got so many hang-ups! I got so many hang-ups!"), duran duran - "girls on film"

― fritz, Wednesday, 13 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Dunno of these qualify....

Cactus - The Pixies

The Short Answer - Billy Bragg With the immortal line "All my friends from school introduced me to their spouces, while l'm left standing here with my hands down the front of my trousers" (it sounds better said in an essex accent)

Roxy Music - In Every Dreamhome a Heartache

and several songs by the bloodhound gang. probably.

― baxter wingnut, Wednesday, 13 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

"Whip it," despite the seemingly obvious sexual innuendos that can be applied to it, is actually a satirical statement on "self-help" sloganeering," and not a paean to yanking one's proverbial crank.

"Jerkin' Back & Forth," however......

― Alex in NYC, Wednesday, 13 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Devo's "Penetration in the Centerfold" (later covered by Pussy Galore) should be added to the list.

― Alex in NYC, Wednesday, 13 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Morrissey - "Nobody Loves Us" b-side to "Dagenham Dave" (the title of a gay British porn series BTW)

Lyrics are here - look under lyrics for My Early Burglary Years, but I prefer the Japanese guesses and mistranslations because they seem more salacious, e.g., damp hands at trouble for dab hands for trouble, Long times find never mind for Nine times fined, never mind and the next great womb instead of the next great wound. Also what is sung is actually different from what appears in the lyric booklet.

― Melinda Mess-Injure, Thursday, 14 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Book of Love - "I Touch Roses"

― Melinda Mess-Injure, Thursday, 14 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

seven months pass...

Surely, the High and Mighty feat. Kool Keith - "Hands On Experience". It's fantastic.

― Tom Armitage, Sunday, 22 September 2002 18:30 (twenty-one years ago) link

Wank by Maow. "You're about to explode, you have to go home, and blow your load cos I know, tonight, you wanna be with mee-ahhh..."

― Mr Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 22 September 2002 18:33 (twenty-one years ago) link

"The Beat" is much better than "Pump It Up" as far as masturbation songs on This Year's Model go. "Pump It Up" is much more about nightlife than masturbation anyway ("pump it up/when you don't even need it"? You ALWAYS NEED IT!!)

― Daniel_Rf, Sunday, 22 September 2002 21:17 (twenty-one years ago) link

ermmm something by the Lords of Acid.

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Sunday, 22 September 2002 21:24 (twenty-one years ago) link

Pixies - The Holiday Song: "Here I am with my hand"...

*NOW* Can someone tell me who wrote the magnificent "Solo Project", my favourite wanking song evah?

It goes a little something like this:

I get restless
And when I'm like that
I find something to do
I just need something
I need excitement
Have to get away from the dull routine

I've tried everything over the years
But it's no use
And they say
This solo project
Makes you blind

Please, somebody identify this track for me! It's driving me nuts (ha ha).

― Charlie (Charlie), Sunday, 22 September 2002 22:36 (twenty-one years ago) link

TWEET!

― minna (minna), Monday, 23 September 2002 00:10 (twenty-one years ago) link

"Get a Grip" by Semisonic. It's lovely.

― My name is Kenny, Monday, 23 September 2002 01:51 (twenty-one years ago) link

The Who - "Pictures of Lilly"

― kinski (kinski), Monday, 23 September 2002 08:14 (twenty-one years ago) link

Oh someone said that. ok, Gene's "Olympian" maybe

― kinski (kinski), Monday, 23 September 2002 08:16 (twenty-one years ago) link

Sex Pistols, "Friggin' in the Riggin'"

― Underclocked, Monday, 23 September 2002 08:33 (twenty-one years ago) link

didn't billy bragg also sing something like: "with my own hand / making love to your memory" (also in an essex accent)

― dbini, Monday, 23 September 2002 17:19 (twenty-one years ago) link

didn't billy bragg also sing something like: "with my own hand / making love to your memory" (also in an essex accent)

It's "Saint Swithin's Day", also covered by Dubstar on their first album.

Would it be cheeky to suggest that "Sexual healing" was at least inspired by some one-armed-banditry rather then the real thing ?

― Darren, Tuesday, 24 September 2002 18:25 (twenty-one years ago) link

Loads of tracks by the Japanese noise outfit Gerogerigegege, which at one point featured a member called "Gero-30", a 50 year old exibitionist who wanked with on stage while the band played. Some of his chicken choking was captured on tape and Gero-30's grunts and groans are included on various songs, such as "Violence Onanie" (Onanie being the Japanese word for masturbation) which features Gero-30 blowing his load to the sound of machine guns being fired, bombs exploding, etc.

― Chriddof (Chriddof), Tuesday, 24 September 2002 19:20 (twenty-one years ago) link

'Would it be cheeky to suggest that "Sexual healing" was at least inspired by some one-armed-banditry rather then the real thing ?'

Not cheeky at all. In fact the 12" mix of said song is indispensable for your c90, for its coda-and-fade 'pleeease don't procrastinate/don't want to have to masturbate'.

It's true, pop-pickers - go listen!

― jon (jon), Wednesday, 25 September 2002 08:47 (twenty-one years ago) link

two months pass...

http://nowscape.com/mast/slang_mast.htm

all go here for some corkers

― sonicred (sonicred), Sunday, 1 December 2002 20:38 (twenty-one years ago) link

y'all tripped out on the best (or at least a personal favorite!). On "Phase III" The Osmonds have this great track called "My Drum" on which one of the older brothers notes that when he's got the frustration and the aggrivation he goes up to his room, gets out his sticks and bangs his drum, to which a male choir responds "KICK IT!" And then there's stuff about he needs no tranquilizers or Dr. Myzer but he needs to keep within reach of drum. Then there's a big drum solo while the boys chant "ooh yeah Huh! Come on!" He also prays the lord his soul keep - keep within close distance of his drum that is. Yow! Frisky for mormons.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 2 December 2002 00:42 (twenty-one years ago) link

Then there's the famous rugby club adaption of Rolf Harrises 'Two little boys'...

Two little boys had two little toys/each had a little (blank). Gaily they played, each sunny day both (blank) of course.

It goes on and on like this.

― jon (jon), Monday, 2 December 2002 09:48 (twenty-one years ago) link

Country Teasers:
"I Got a Good Pair of Hands"
"Go Down Mighty Devil"
"Only Whittlin' Mom"

All three on Moral Nosebleed double lp.

― Paula G., Monday, 2 December 2002 20:52 (twenty-one years ago) link

Elvis Costello-"Black and White World"

― Colin Beckett (Colin Beckett), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 04:48 (twenty-one years ago) link

DQE-- Masturbation Made a Mess Out of Me
Tori Amos-- Icicle

― Blood and sparkles (bloodandsparkles), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 05:28 (twenty-one years ago) link

two months pass...

Gary Numan - Down In The Park
"Down In the Park With My Friend Called FIVE"
Actually theres lots of numan songs about wanking.*Cue comments bout Numan being a wanker*

― Reg Deadman, Friday, 14 February 2003 02:56 (twenty-one years ago) link

one year passes...

Revive!!

And of course The Flaming Lips' "She Don't Use Jelly" should be in there as well....

How is that song about crankin' it??? They're talking about putting vasoline on TOAST, aren't they?? ("She'll make you breakfast, she'll make you toast, but she don't use butter..." etc.)

― Mr. Snrub (Mr. Snrub), Monday, 26 April 2004 22:07 (twenty years ago) link

Britney Spears - Touch Of My Hand
JC Chasez - Come To Me
Tori Amos - Icicle
Missy Elliott - Toyz (do vibrators count as masturbation?)

― The Lex (The Lex), Monday, 26 April 2004 22:11 (twenty years ago) link

The Flaming Lips - "The Southern Oklahoma Cosmic Trigger Contest" is without a doubt, the best masturbation song EVER!!! EVER!!!!

― Mr. Snrub (Mr. Snrub), Monday, 26 April 2004 22:23 (twenty years ago) link

"Spank Through" - Nirvana

― billstevejim, Monday, 26 April 2004 22:24 (twenty years ago) link

one year passes...

I really hope Numan's "Park" isn't about his penis...

Down in the park
Where the chant is "death,
death, death" until the sun cries morning

― Hotdogman, Saturday, 24 December 2005 20:12 (eighteen years ago) link

The Fabulous Poodles: "Twist & Sprout"

(I'm not sure I've even actually heard it.)

― Rockist_Scientist (RSLaRue), Saturday, 24 December 2005 21:09 (eighteen years ago) link

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