for years (and still kinda) i would measure long events in "Seven Samurais". As in, "that line was half a seven samurai wait".
― the craziest half-court shots and wildest WAGs (forksclovetofu), Friday, 15 March 2013 04:16 (eleven years ago) link
I am one and quarter Jesuses old :(
(Jesii?)
― Habemus mundissimo ostentus nomen (onimo), Friday, 15 March 2013 12:40 (eleven years ago) link
NounJesuses plPlural form of Jesus. Usage notesCare should be taken to establish context when using this term as some Christians find the notion of more than one Jesus to be blasphemous.
Jesuses just alright with me
― Another turning point, a stork fuck in the road (ledge), Friday, 15 March 2013 13:00 (eleven years ago) link
Plus, if you go to only Catholic Christian Churches then they believe in the doctrine of Transubstantiation, whereby the bread and wine literally become the body and blood of Jesus. So far, taking Jesus to be the size of an average Nazarene man, I have eaten nine whole Jesuses plus one of Jesus legs. This is more whole Jesuses than anyone has ever eaten. Neil Petark says he has eaten 12 Jesuses, but he includes bread and wine consumed at Protestant Churches, and Protestants do not believe in Transubstantiation so he is wrong and I am still the Jesus eating King. Neil Petark has really only eaten 4 Jesuses which is rubbish.
― an average girl realizing that leggings aren't helping the cause (DJ Mencap), Friday, 15 March 2013 13:04 (eleven years ago) link
started reading the zadie smith piece and ended up bailing after this line:
In the passenger seat of a car, on the way to a wedding, I no longer had the excuse of youth: I was now the same age as Christ when he died.
― (The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Thursday, March 14, 2013 7:31 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
Christ was already "done with early Joni" by the time he was 25 and would only listen to Hejira and maybe Hissing of Summer Lawns if he "was in a poppy mood"
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Friday, 15 March 2013 14:20 (eleven years ago) link
xp
lol i have that book
― poking pocong (Noodle Vague), Friday, 15 March 2013 14:22 (eleven years ago) link
what book is that?
― s.clover, Friday, 15 March 2013 15:28 (eleven years ago) link
Fist of fun I'd guess
― dat neggy nilmar (wins), Friday, 15 March 2013 15:30 (eleven years ago) link
just googled it up and the whole pdf is online! great stuff. the section on challops seems particularly prescient.
― s.clover, Saturday, 16 March 2013 05:09 (eleven years ago) link
link?
― m0stlyClean, Sunday, 17 March 2013 06:23 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.fistoffun.net/book.htm
this is the challops page: http://www.fistoffun.net/book/16.jpg
― s.clover, Sunday, 17 March 2013 18:43 (eleven years ago) link
<3 interesting music column
― Deafening silence (DL), Monday, 18 March 2013 10:04 (eleven years ago) link
wd be less challopy if he wasn't championing Blur
― poking pocong (Noodle Vague), Monday, 18 March 2013 10:06 (eleven years ago) link
it was the done thing in 1995 tbf
― an average girl realizing that leggings aren't helping the cause (DJ Mencap), Monday, 18 March 2013 10:16 (eleven years ago) link
yeah i don't hate Blur but the real challopry in that bit is Stewart Lee - cos it's obviously Lee - doing his "everybody knows that objectively shitty indie bands are the best and anyone who says otherwise is fronting"
― poking pocong (Noodle Vague), Monday, 18 March 2013 10:31 (eleven years ago) link
Interesting music column = exactly my impression of ILM when I first got here.
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Monday, 18 March 2013 13:44 (eleven years ago) link
I love St3wart lee but he has the worst taste in music
Well he likes some cool improv & jazz stuff but probably for dumb rockist reasons
― dat neggy nilmar (wins), Monday, 18 March 2013 14:12 (eleven years ago) link
Hands up if you have mostly given up music writing but you still check this thread to make sure you're not busted on something stupid you wrote recently or long ago
O/
― @GracieLoPan #fyi (Display Name (this cannot be changed):), Monday, 18 March 2013 14:17 (eleven years ago) link
hehe, this thread is the music writers' equivalent of Posts Very Much In Character.
― pssstttt, Hey you (dog latin), Monday, 18 March 2013 14:20 (eleven years ago) link
Hands up if you have mostly given up music writing but you still check this thread to make sure you're not busted on something stupid you wrote recently or long ag
Real talk.
― Badmotorfinger Debate Club (MFB), Monday, 18 March 2013 15:23 (eleven years ago) link
Context for that "interesting music column" is early 90s writers making a big deal about liking pop, which was both a necessary counterbalance to rockism and, in many cases, an annoyingly self-aggrandising posture. It all seems a long, long time ago.
― Deafening silence (DL), Monday, 18 March 2013 15:45 (eleven years ago) link
Hand up
― Raymond Cummings, Monday, 18 March 2013 15:50 (eleven years ago) link
the whole Ironic Review bit is a skit on the Modern Review which obviously employed some of the annoyingest writers of all time, but that doesn't mean it's not also carping at the mere idea of treating popular culture as a serious object of enquiry
― poking pocong (Noodle Vague), Monday, 18 March 2013 16:01 (eleven years ago) link
I don't think Stewart Lee has a problem with treating popular culture as a serious object of inquiry tbh.
― Deafening silence (DL), Monday, 18 March 2013 16:02 (eleven years ago) link
he likes some cool improv & jazz stuff but probably for dumb rockist reasons
― dat neggy nilmar (wins), Monday, 18 March 2013 14:12 (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
is he still doing that thing of posting all the negative comments abt himself he finds on his website, because I think this would be an excellent addition
― an average girl realizing that leggings aren't helping the cause (DJ Mencap), Monday, 18 March 2013 17:23 (eleven years ago) link
oh is that why someone g00gl3pr00f3d him?
― s.clover, Monday, 18 March 2013 17:33 (eleven years ago) link
yeah it was a half-joking allusion to that.
― dat neggy nilmar (wins), Monday, 18 March 2013 18:02 (eleven years ago) link
Hand up. I imagine that when I hit the jackpot I'll print it off and blu tak it on the wall next to my Pseud's Corner appearance.
― Doran, Monday, 18 March 2013 19:11 (eleven years ago) link
British Rock - Forgotten Heroes & Where We Went Wrong (Palma Violets, The Strokes, Muse Feature)
― congratulations on yet another award and i loved your baseball cap (DJ Mencap), Friday, 22 March 2013 19:07 (eleven years ago) link
https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/45186_10151370213003526_643562198_n.jpg
― congratulations on yet another award and i loved your baseball cap (DJ Mencap), Friday, 22 March 2013 19:10 (eleven years ago) link
Hands up if you have mostly given up music writing but you still check this thread to make sure you're not busted on something stupid you wrote recently or long agoO/― @GracieLoPan #fyi (Display Name (this cannot be changed):), Monday, March 18, 2013 7:17 AM (4 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― @GracieLoPan #fyi (Display Name (this cannot be changed):), Monday, March 18, 2013 7:17 AM (4 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
My music writings are probably the worst I've ever read, but I still write them, for myself. I do share them online, but obviously they're so bad no one comments on them.
What I find funny is the surprising amount of music writing that people consider to be 'good', yet when compared to those they find 'bad', they offer very little difference in their approach or concept. It usually sounds more like, "I like this dude's writing better and think this other piece is utter shite" (hyperbole included), but they display this preference simply because they don't like the other 'shit piece' because they just don't agree with it--with very ambiguous justifications.
For me, the only music writing I enjoy reading these days is writing that tries to put music in historical context or within a certain movement or artistic group. More of a study of, rather than an opinion on the value of art/music as a representation of a given society/time/movement/expression, because this last bit seems to be so arbitrary. The worst (read, cheesiest) things in art/music have been influential in pop/mainstream culture, yet some were or have been discarded by 'critics' because of a so-called 'inherently' poor artistic/musical expression; that is, they made a value judgement or imposed a truth value on statements which do not have truth values (in terms of logic).
Sorry to go on a tangent. I might just be really disconnected with contemporary musical thought/criticism.
― kafkaesque (c21m50nh3x460n), Friday, 22 March 2013 19:27 (eleven years ago) link
Hooray, Elizabeth Wurtzel's back!
I wonder if there will ever be another rock star. Probably not. Axl Rose was the last one in the sense of having a drug problem, dating a centerfold, showing up onstage at Madison Square Garden two hours and 15 minutes late to an audience that continued to sit and wait. No one would sit and wait anymore. Too exhausted. And the whole point is to post that it happened on Facebook, not to have the experience. Kurt Cobain was an anti-rock star. That was good too. Eminem: maybe. Jay-Z is a businessman—it’s not that he isn’t talented, but he is a professional, the kingpin of an entertainment conglomerate. The opposite of a rock star is a professional. He is the platform and the content. And really, ideally you are the platform, even if that makes you inanimate: People now form lines around the corner not to buy a new album but because a new iPhone is out. Then they use it to send text messages mostly, or to do something they could have done two devices ago, but in any case the wait begins at 4:45 a.m. Which is to say that the party is over. Or maybe standing there as the dark of night becomes the light of day and the Apple Store opens for business is the fun part. Steve Jobs was weirdly both a rock star and a professional, so it figures he would check out before this got any worse.
There is nothing like lying in bed listening to music. Sometimes it’s better on a sun-drenched happy day; sometimes I prefer the cool gray winter sky. There is nothing better still than a Sunday morning in Greenwich Village under the covers with Blonde on Blonde playing. You could fake the experience in another city or even in another part of this city, and maybe it would even be the same—but when it comes to sensual matters, the details count. And it really works. I have been spending Sundays with Dylan for a long time now. I have done it in cassette and vinyl and CD and mp3, because it doesn’t matter. (This point is so obvious that it is necessarily parenthetical: Nothing sounds better than an LP, but nothing feels better than not having to flip it over three times.) What matters is that there are people who may get their clients a consistent 12 percent return on investment and there are others who run corporate empires, but I am sure their lives are not anywhere near as rich as mine is, because they don’t know what I know. Just being a great listener to music has made my life impossibly sweet. And all the while, it has kept me clear of any of the many industries that are really just hastening civilization’s decline. Or maybe it has kept me in my nightgown. I have many lovely lacy nightgowns.
― 誤訳侮辱, Sunday, 7 April 2013 22:49 (eleven years ago) link
ew, thank you
― I have many lovely lacy nightgowns (contenderizer), Monday, 8 April 2013 00:02 (eleven years ago) link
Yeah, but you mustums read the whole thing.
― dow, Monday, 8 April 2013 00:11 (eleven years ago) link
From the comments:
I really love this article. It makes me want to go home and lay in bed and listen to coldplay.
― Badmotorfinger Debate Club (MFB), Monday, 8 April 2013 05:56 (eleven years ago) link
People now form lines around the corner not to buy a new album
― kinder, Monday, 8 April 2013 07:53 (eleven years ago) link
1,974-word article about doing nothing. Proust this is not. Not even in the suburbs of Simon Barnes.
― Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Monday, 8 April 2013 08:37 (eleven years ago) link
Whatever you think of the album in question, this is such a horribly witless, inept hatchet job. The byline photo really caps it off.
http://www.offthetracks.co.nz/willy-moon-heres-willy-moon/
― Deafening silence (DL), Tuesday, 9 April 2013 14:01 (eleven years ago) link
That's so hacky and awful I'm surprised it wasn't published on Collapse Board.
― 誤訳侮辱, Tuesday, 9 April 2013 14:13 (eleven years ago) link
I really liked that single...
― they all are afflicted with a sickness of existence (Scik Mouthy), Tuesday, 9 April 2013 14:27 (eleven years ago) link
I like Willy Moon but I didn't want to get into the pros and cons of the record. Even if it was indeed the worst album of 2013 it would be better than that review. Nothing sadder than seeing someone huffing and puffing to deliver a killer hatchet job only to drop the axe on his foot.
― Deafening silence (DL), Tuesday, 9 April 2013 14:55 (eleven years ago) link
I don't hate Elizabeth Wurtzel's recent blogging. It's not especially good, but it feels honest.
― --808 542137 (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 9 April 2013 15:14 (eleven years ago) link
Faint praise to warm any writer's heart.
― Deafening silence (DL), Tuesday, 9 April 2013 15:18 (eleven years ago) link
:)
― --808 542137 (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 9 April 2013 15:48 (eleven years ago) link
I mean, people have feelings about music, and there's this tendency on ILM to reflexively dismiss most such feelings (other than exaggerated poptimist enthusiasm) because they're not adequately problematized, or something. I don't really like her writing, but I like the sentiment well enough.
― --808 542137 (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 9 April 2013 15:50 (eleven years ago) link
I agree. I can't get angry about her.
― Deafening silence (DL), Tuesday, 9 April 2013 16:26 (eleven years ago) link
she kind of reminds me of my sad aunt who lived a pretty amazing life but is now alone and depressed and says wistful things all the time about having "the memories to comfort her" -- full of pathos, not really objectionable
― --808 542137 (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 9 April 2013 16:37 (eleven years ago) link
Just filing the Tiny Mix Tapes Knife review here for posterity
http://www.tinymixtapes.com/music-review/the-knife-shaking-the-habitual
― Deafening silence (DL), Wednesday, 10 April 2013 12:25 (eleven years ago) link
That writer's whole catalogue appears to be Worst Music Writing gold.
― Trans-Europe Stopping Train (ithappens), Wednesday, 10 April 2013 12:58 (eleven years ago) link