Scientific Attempt To Create Most Annoying Song Ever

Haha all you guys gushing over the fierce guitar solo...

Composed by Dave Soldier
Lyrics by Nina Mankin
Executive Producer: Charles Simonyi
Produced by Jane Bausman
Recorded by Rory Young at Big House Studios and Acme Recording Studio
Featuring Vernon Reid On Guitar

hey, can't front

GEORGE STEPHANOPOLOUS!

Hey, the most wanted/unwanted songs are better than Max Tundra...

The Tom Waits verses from Wanted Song should be inserted into Unwanted Song for ultimate lolz, maybe even sung by some death metal belcher. That Unwanted soprano rap is sublime - Charles Ives must be breakin' in his grave...

On the other hand, Whitney, Maria, Beyonce, Leona et al could do some big damage to the first Wanted verses - maybe a super-diva Feed teh World type ego-extravaganza... But that sax is too Kenny G for words.

And for any tech geeks on board, I was listening to Unwanted mp3 in Firefox with the Firebug plugin, and while choking on my looool noticed it was telling me that "This element has no style rules." er, lol

this is immense. it pleases me greatly.

must. shop. at. wal-mart.

Yo I'm ropin' up my saddle
For the long, long ride
Every time I see the desert
There's something inside says
Yo! Yo! This is the life
Give me open land and a
Big ol' knife to get some
Bear, deer--even a snake
I light me a fire
Do the shake and bake
I say Yo! Yo!
I'm a cowboy now
The sun is hot and dry
Gonna rope me a cow
I say Yo! Yo!
I'm loose and free
Whoa there Nelly
You're the horse for me!

Rope 'em up boys
The desert is a callin'
Yahoo, yahoo, yahoo
Saddle up fellas
The desert is a callin'
Yahoo, yahoo, yahoo

Christmas time! Christmas time!
Jesus, Mary, and the manger
Christmas time, Family time,
Do all your shopping, at Wal-Mart!

Easter Time! Easter Time!
Love, forgiveness, and the bunnies!
Easter Time! Chocolate Time!
Do all your shopping at Wal-Mart!

Out on the plains
Just me and my mind
Took me a break
To read some Wittgenstein
Born in Vienna in '89
He obsessed with theories
Of language and time
Like the "Tractatus"
Where Ludwig would claim
"The logic of our language
Is misunderstood"
Philosophy is based
On a false pretense
So philosophy itself
Is nonsense, nonse!
Philosophy itself is non-sense!

Bedeutung ist tun
Es ist ein Sprachspiel
Nonsense! Nonsense!
Wörter sind Inhalt
Yahoo! Yahoo!

Yom Kippur! Yom Kippur!
Self reflection and atonement
Yom Kippur, that's what for
Do all your shopping at Wal-Mart!

Oh say can you--
Feel the embers glowing
And the turkey in the oven!
America!
Hear the children singing
There's a turkey in the oven!
Rockets red glare!
Candles are so pretty
And a turkey in the oven!
Do all your shopping at Wal-Mart!
Buy spurs that jingle at Wal-Mart!
Ramadan! Ramadan!
Lots of praying with no breakfast!
Ramadan, so much fun!
Do all your shopping at Wal-Mart!

It's home, home
On the big ol' range
Yipee tai oh
Get along there stranger
Rope 'em, ride 'em
Shoot 'em up good
We're big and bad
In the cowboy 'hood
I say Yo! Yo!
Got a river to ford
With a life like this
I never be bored
I say Yo! Yo!
I'm wild and free
Whoa Miss Kitty
You're the gal for me!

Whoa Miss Kitty
I say whoa there
Whoa Miss Kitty
Yahoo! Yahoo!

Labor Day! Labor Day!
Schools are closed and
Pools are open!
Labor Day! All the way!
Do all your shopping at Wal-Mart!

Oh say can you--
Grandma's on the phone
Go and tell her that you love her!
America!
Daddy's on the phone
Go and tell him that you love him!
The Golden Land!
Sister's on the phone
Go and tell her that you love her!
Do all your shopping at Wal-Mart!

Veteran's Day! Veteran's Day!
Big parade with guns and soldiers
Veteran's Day! What's there to say?
Do all your shopping at Wal-Mart!

Halloween! Halloween!
Candy corn for lunch and dinner!
Halloween, what a scream!
Do all your shopping at Wal-Mart!

Look out there
It's an Injun band!
Coming this way
Gonna fight for my land
And build a home town
Grocery store
American cheese
Worth fighting for
Call it "dry gulch"
O.K. Corral
Holiday Spot
For you and your gal
To get some cool shit
And desert rays
Cowboy living' the American Way
It's a cowboy living
Go! Go!
It's cowboy living
Go! Go!
It's cowboy living
All the way!

Rope 'em up boys!
The desert is a callin'!
Yahoo! Yahoo! Yahoo!

Saddle up fellas!
The desert is a callin'!
Yahoo! Yahoo! Yahoo!

People! Coming together out of a
desire to obtain political power!
Vice Presidential Candidate! Twenty-
seven electoral votes! Central policy
issues! Two party system! Struggle!
Gain control of the government! Executive
branch! Military branch! Foreign affairs!
Influence policy! Promote ideology--
fascism! Promote individual interests--
George Stephanopoulous! Imelda
Marcos! Promote special interests--
Sugar! Beef! Bananas! Lumber! Pork bellies!
Pork barrels! Coca-Cola!
The information superhighway! Three
thousand years of oppression!

Who enslaved humans of color? Who
invaded the Carribbean? Who
murdered all the innocent children?!
You did! You! You! You!

It may be you
It could be me
It's not enough
To wait and see
And when we all
Lock arms and sing
Then bells of freedom
Ring ding ding! Complimentary "The Most Unwanted Song" Ringtone

Send "The Most Unwanted Song" Ringtone to Cell Phone

:D

Yom Kippur! Yom Kippur!
Self reflection and atonement
Yom Kippur, that's what for
Do all your shopping at Wal-Mart!

i love komar and melamid so much. they make actual "art" too, i.e. objects

Ramadan! Ramadan!
Lots of praying with no breakfast!
Ramadan, so much fun!
Do all your shopping at Wal-Mart!

^^^ otm

The most wanted song is "OK", if they could lose some (about 75%) of the sax, it'd be fine.

The most unwanted is a piece of total beauty!

I haven't listened to the annoying song yet, but I imagine they oughta experiment with really high frequency noise the whole song even if its just in the background during the whole song

Would that U2 would do this much research!

Ventolin really isn't that unlistenable at all. In fact, I'd say it was pretty catchy.

Hey Everybody! It's LABOR DAY!

Labour day! Labor day! Do all your shopping - AT WALMART!

confused brit inserts extra 'u'

I always thought the Yom Kippur one was self-reflection and a trumpet ...

i think i recall reading about this in carl wilson's celine dion book, curious to hear this

this song just makes me retardedly happy ... like, if I was to make a list of things to do to cheer myself up when I'm bummed, listening to this song would be on it.

I finally heard this yesterday!

It's a permanent fixture on my 'phone.

(both, that is...)

My friend sent me a text on labor day that just said "Pools are closed and schools are open!" and I lol'd loud.

I remember the first time I heard it was on All Things Considered. I was listening to the podcast while I was walking to class and they played a clip of the opera singer rapping, and right after she was done that bagpipe kicked in and I just fucking lost it and started laughing uncontrollably on the crowded sidewalk. I think I ended up rewinding/relistening like 3 times.

Just the fact they were trying to cram ALL these "unwanted" things into one piece, and hearing an 1)opera singer 2)rapping about 3)cowboys/western themes, interjected with such an intentionally obnoxious 4)bagpipe

Someone who dislikes bagpipes is as likely to hate elevator music as someone who despises the organ.

You know what the "Most Annoying Song" reminds me of, funnily enough, is the "Kangaroo?" album by the Red Krayola with Art and Language. Which is one of my favorite albums ever.

stumbled across this on futility closet, i like it

I had forgotten exactly how hilarious the rapping soprano is.

haven't heard this in years but I do remember the bagpipe causing me to laugh out loud

made it without cracking up until the kids singing about yom kippur and spiritual atonement with the national anthem playing and wal-mart plugs

okay the last couple minutes of this are great

Ahhh, I loved this so much, always glad to be reminded of its existence.

I'd like to see the whole project revisited, tbh. I wonder if tastes will have changed.

whenever there's a terrorist attack or US bombing raid in the middle east, I always think:

WHO KILLED ALL THE INNOCENT CHILDREN?!! YOU DID! YOU!

xp - we could always do this. We could start by creating ILX's most unwanted song

extrapolate it from a bunch of unwanted posters

so the lyrics would be composed of tanuki, gabbneb, loujags, and whiney g posts

definitely should involve a non-hemiola for old tymes sake

LJ and Turrican should collaborate on the music for it.

i think you mean the musical content

xp - we could always do this. We could start by creating ILX's most unwanted song

― sarahell, Monday, April 10, 2017 6:46 PM (twenty-one minutes ago)

I'd be up for running a ballot survey and doing this, but I fear the most wanted music would just be overrun with votes for Gaz Coombes and Toilet Duck.

now there's a collaboration that needs to happen

Not trying to say I'm *not* on Team Toilet Duck, btw. Duck is definitely on my team (quack).

Also we could just do this in google forms, couldn't we? No need for complex ballots. HMMMMM.

geez I still need to do a toilet duck remix of our recent singer-songwriter's train track

feel guilty about stalling on my own esperantish megamix

anyway e.mily this is not a terrible idea and i promise not to duck boost if it goes ahead

Their 'most wanted painting' survey is all online, but I can't find the music one anywhere, so I'm going to have to make it up from scratch. I am into this idea, though!

I don't think it was a ranked choice survey, I think some of the questions were yes/no, with some multiple choice.

It was something like this (though I added things here and there)

Genres: pop, rock, R&B, opera, country/western, classical (instrumental), classical (choral), rap, jazz, military/national anthems, electronic dance music, non-idiomatic free improv

Subject matter: love, sex, holidays, food, politics, history, philosophy, art, literature, television and films, family, fashion, transportation, science, religion, jokes

Instruments: guitar, electric bass, drums, flute, piano, organ, electronic noise generators, violin, cello, viola, contrabass, oboe, clarinet, bassoon, tuba, trombone, trumpet, saxophone, sousaphone, flugelhorn, bagpipes, oud, drum machine, field recordings of nature sounds, field recordings of urban sounds, xylophone, classical percussion, ethnic percussion

vccal styles ...