OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

They neither seek nor anticipate the version of higher learning depicted in the Indigo Girls’ “Closer to Fine,” a song often heard drifting across the quad during my college years

Finally gave in and clicked on the link, just to verify that those were real quotes

this is so good

what the fuck is wrong with this person

everyone goes through this challops phase in college, but some of them become professors and never leave campus

seems like run of the mill shut-in academic to me, rly only extreme ito shamelessness/lack of self-awareness

i had a pretty awful gen x prof who would play, like, pop punk circa 2003 on his laptop before class... everyone thought he was cool tho, p horrifying

that piece is pretty much irredeemable.

also

btw ugh @ onion just the headline + photo punchline? i mean not that u usually read more than the headline & lede but still depressing?

eh, cut out the middleman imo

middleman = your profession??!

writers?

oh ya sry forgot u are a promoter

AIDS has always been a global, predominantly third-world epidemic, rather than a mysterious disease decimating the gay community and cutting a deadly swath through America’s fashion, art, and creative worlds.

I don't remember most of my Gen X classmates really giving a damn about the toll AIDS was taking on the gay community or the creative world. Maybe they were being ironic about it though.

remember Steve Zahn in Reality Bites?

i'm a pr nerd dude

1991 stand up!

seems like run of the mill shut-in academic to me

au contraire, i'm a shut-in academic and i posted this precisely because it so dramatically exceeds the standards of self-absorption I've set for myself

painful article

Where is the Sylvia Plath-obsessed would-be writer who shopped quite happily at the Salvation Army?

By the way, it can't really be true, can it, that there no longer exist people in college who aspire to write poetry and read Plath?

Which Gen-X actor will be cast in the remake of this?

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/c6/Gran_Torino_poster.jpg

Probably should be a poll

Edward Norton

What is coke snortin

Gen x's clint eastwood is 100% Ben affleck

barf

yeah, is it possible that all the interesting students (you can tell they're interesting if they shop quite happily at the salvation army) are off learning english from a more interesting teacher?

the "i like all types of music lady" seems lame, yes, but her coworker who actively dislikes the carpenters is basically a monster.

at least she doesnt like all types of music except country

how are you all ignoring the steaming hot panglossian pile of "thinkpiece" garbage from this week's nymag

http://images.nymag.com/images/2/home/13/05/27-lede-umami.jpg

i'm always about two issues back on ny mag, which puts me at nj levels of cognition i suppose

I think she meant this one, right???

http://nymag.com/news/features/punk-movement-2013-4/

i've been to umami burger in l.a.. the burger cost $12 and while i ate it beggars put their hands through the holes in the wrought-iron fence installed to screen them from my view.

why poppage stars rule the world

There was an on-campus coffee shop at my school that seemed to play nothing but a loop of Closer to Fine and River.

Is someone suggesting that that Nabisco was not otm

gasp

no the pop star one
cmon guys it is low hanging fruit all over the place

B-b-but did it mention the Solid Gold Dancers?

http://www.vulture.com/2013/05/why-pop-stars-rule-the-world.html

Oh

feel like that was covered in another thread?

The answer may be that the relentless and unforgiving feedback loop of social media has made being unfeasible anything other than consistently awesome, like (and forgive one last culinary metaphor) opening a bad restaurant in New York

First of all, this sentence is garbled -- maybe "has made unfeasible anything other than being completely awesome" is meant? And what is going on with the metaphor? Surely New York is a notably EASY place to get by running a bad restaurant.

I don't know, before social media it was consistently awesome to be unfeasible; I miss those days tbh

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/c0/Zaireeka_cover.png

Surely New York is a notably EASY place to get by running a bad restaurant.

nah not really. the usual quoted figure is that 80% of NYC restaurants close in their first five years.

still a terrible sentence.

And that sentence goes out of its way to be terrible! It like goes all the way across town to be terrible and gnarled and wrong!

the usual quoted figure is that 80% of NYC restaurants close in their first five years.

Sure, but the question is whether this is different from other cities! That sounds like a long median lifespan to me.

For six seasons, I obsessed over “Lost” and wept prolifically through the last episode.

Me too. Like WAAAAHHHH!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT? WHAT HAVE I DONE WITH MY LIFE? WAAAHHHH!!!

hahaha

I've still only seen the last 5 minutes of the last Lost episode