OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

So nice of that AP reporter to let his 10 yer old review the festival for them.

Lol, I thought that was actually serious until I got to this: NIN closed the night with a slow and smoky cover of Johnny Cash's "Hurt," which earned nonstop cheers from the crowd.

I just came here to post that, lol.

Just as I thought the paragraph couldnt get any worse they dropped that bomb

That reads like the reporting I give my parents when asked if I made it to mass on Easter Sunday

that particular part was even worse though

The band's 90-minute set featured hard rock anthems, songs with techno influences as well as groovy and eerie jams. NIN closed the night with a slow and smoky cover of Johnny Cash's "Hurt," which earned nonstop cheers from the crowd. Reznor was soft as he sang the song's verses — making it the set's highlight. "Yeah, Trent!" one burly voice screamed, and that was one of many.

Burly man so disappointed when Trent's hard during 'Hurt'

I love that detail.

It's like a robert frost poem gone awry

they still havent fixed the band name they got wrong

are y'all sure that wasn't written by some kind of not very advanced computer program?

Can a voice really be 'burly'?

If it's burly audible (need a Lancashire accent for this)

can i just

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDKb4O-l02U

(interesting side note, this record pisses on Trent Gothface's entire shitty career)

Found the author, btw: http://bigstory.ap.org/content/mesfin-fekadu

Oh lord.

http://bigstory.ap.org/article/girl-girl-groups-are-making-comeback

I'll tell want you want, what you really, really want: Girl groups.

A new batch of pop tarts are ready to dominate the charts and fill a void since best-selling groups like Destiny's Child, TLC and the Spice Girls aren't dropping songs as fast as music fans want them.

This person is actually a music journalist?

haahahah. the inclusion of TLC there takes this from absurd to sort of sad and morbid but still absurd.

yes, TLC's output has definitely slowed of late

unfrozen caveman music critic

https://twitter.com/MusicMesfin

"The Saturdays is one of a new crop of girl groups currently on the music scene."

there shd probably be a dedicated thread for the unsung heroes feeding the world's relentless demand for content day in day out

a new crop of whores are ready to dominate charts and fill a void left by the decreasing output of the dead

if this dude has been paid a cent ever for writing im literally going to cry

Damn, too long for a display name. xp

im no jordan sargent but i'd like to think im slightly better than MusicMesfin and i've never been paid for any writing

"The lead single from Ciara's self-titled fifth album, "Body Party," is an oozing, seductive R&B track that deserves rousing applause — especially when the 27-year-old matches the song with daring and sensual dance moves that scream Janet Jackson, Aaliyah and others that have come before her, as she did at the recent BET Awards."

"an oozing R&B track"
dat sentence structure

title of that piece is REVIEW: CIARA STILL SEARCHING FOR CIARA ON 'CIARA'
i think there's a lot to be mined with this guy

I guess if a music writer's twitter is 80% RTs of articles from his place of work and 20% NormalTweetGuy inanity, at least that cuts down on the public circlejerking

Lol hurting

and you will know us by the decreasing output of the dead...

Rumors of TLC's fall from the pop charts have been greatly exaggerated

This guy. The more I read, the more I fear my eyes will roll so far back into my head that I may not be able to get them back out.

"Mumford & Sons and the crowd were loud, but not unruly during the two-hour show. The band played their folk-rock tunes with ease, and at times slowed things down as red-orange lights shined and small light bulbs hung in the air. They boys were like mad scientists during "Dustbowl Dance" — singer Marcus Mumford was now on the drums and he kicked it out of his way as he headed to the front of the stage to finish singing the song."

First half of first sentence is almost seussian.

Professional rock band plays songs professionally, at times slowly, with lighting

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnIF72mW1vs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3EizbF-38I

Professional rock band plays songs professionally, at times slowly, with lighting

― #fomo that's the motto (Hurting 2), Tuesday, September 3, 2013 3:19 PM (19 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The Associated Press isn't exactly looking for Richard Meltzer tho

i basically get the sense that maybe this person didn't want to be a music journo at all, and sort of doesn't care? or cares about one sort of music but really doesn't care about NIN or british pop girlgroups and is just sort of phoning it in until they can cover whatever they feel their 'calling' is? like more than anything else, it just drips with boredom and indifference.

"One member of the band picked up his guitar and began playing it. Then, while the singer vocalized into his microphone, the drummer crashed his sticks wildly into his drums and cymbals, creating a stir in the crowd, which seemed close to filling the 430-person capacity venue."

It's the Associated Press, it's not supposed to be fucking Joan Didion, guys

"The lead single from Ciara's self-titled fifth album, "Body Party," is an oozing, seductive R&B track

http://pzrservices.typepad.com/vintageadvertising/images/2008/03/15/vintage_ad_1975_copy.jpg

cap'n save-a-hack

i'm kind of relieved when i run across phoned-in robot articles written by people who have not spent any time analyzing pop culture, one less human being subjecting themselves to the grotesquery of caring in a sinking ship industry.

*puts cigarette out on palm, gazes balefully into the smoggy distance*

in any case, this guy answers the thread question pretty definitively; i can't imagine anyone else who gets this level of distribution and exposure who writes this poorly

it's a relief! phew, this person can care more about things that matter. good for them.

xp i beg to differ. i enjoyed the 'burly voice' line more than anything you've ever posted.

no offense. i mean it's a great line, not everyone can be a genius.

no offense taken. there are certainly plenty of would-be "genius" hacks who devote themselves to flexing atrophied muscles on the internet in misguided attempts to look clever.
why one of them could be in the room right... now.
http://www.sherv.net/cm/emoticons/hand-gestures/crossed-arms-smiley-emoticon.gif