OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

Curious about the timeline for that statement, like when did he never expect this, before he'd heard them? How could this be the case?

Was down to Elton John before I realised for sure that the second article was a piss-take.

well for the first two i think he just meant black people generally xpost

Couple of awesome lines in the Mirror riposte.

http://img2.imagesbn.com/p/9781449437589_p0_v1_s260x420.JPG

"I didn't want to include "best ofs" in this list ­ it's cheating. But if I'm honest I don't know enough about the great John to recommend a specific album."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbMSUQE36us

Over my 10-year career I've worked on MTV, 4Music, and hosted the V, Homelands, iTunes and Isle of Wight music festivals. I've hosted radio shows on XFM and Capital FM, and like to think I have learnt a thing or two about music.

http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2006/10/12/paulrobinson_wideweb__470x348,0.jpg

The original Dave Berry has a pretty good reputation, Ray Davies wrote some songs for him in the 60s, I don't think I've ever heard him though

well for the first two i think he just meant black people generally xpost

― Number None, Wednesday, October 16, 2013 12:00 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this kind of thing makes me want to side with Dave Berry tbph

A response to the response
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/thinking-man/10383450/Dave-Berrys-10-best-albums-a-further-thought.html

Being the owner of a powerboat and speaking a little conversational French, I think it's safe to say that I understand a LITTLE BIT about the MUSIC INDUSTRY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXCwgHyAgAw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiLw45oAuD0

When Telegraph Men (the men's section of the Telegraph)

pretty sure most of the Telegraph's the men's section of the Telegraph tbh.

Oof, this is awful.

BURN IT WITH FIRE. I wish I could un-read that.

Hey, this is catchy, Lester says as he lights up, but how come there’s no clicks or hiss? Explaining how a download works to the ghost of Lester Bangs turns out to be quite difficult.

stfu "Lester"

Charles Shitter more like.

I hope Lester's ghost haunts this guy for eternity.

Fuck me. At first I thought it was some kind of meta point, but it's just not, is it? It's just thick.

all this stupid political correctness that everyone forces on everyone else

CAN I GET A WITNESS PEOPLE

that was how far i got, btw

can anyone beat me?

This guy clearly hasn't been at this long. This just feels like the kind of trick that newbies try. Be kind, is what I'm saying; this guy could get better, or he could soon realize he has no talent for this.

That kind of eminently reasonable attitude isn't going to bring lols when I'm bored at work, so everyone shd clown this douche imo

^^^

I didn't make it past the first sentence

I didn't get through the whole thing either, but I kind of like using this thread to point out writing that is offensive, obnoxious, wrongheaded or journalistically incompetent. This is more just eye-roll worthy. Laughing at this kinda feels like laughing at a child's horrible painting or something. Still, carry on.

(also, having written for PopMatters, I know for a fact that this guy didn't get paid for this, so...)

I was enjoying that cos I thought Charles and the ghost were going to fuck at the end. then the review finished and I was like, hey come back

as long as there’s still someone putting out some gritty rock and roll music as a soundtrack to the times

this was my bail point btw

http://images.moviepostershop.com/ghosts-cant-do-it-movie-poster-1990-1020232413.jpg

the Strokes are his kind of band, with the black leather jackets, the guitars, the cigarettes, the girls,

there are no girls in the strokes?

also i think this dude knows lester bangs only from the speech in almost famous and has never read anything he wrote

also this

Yeah, Lester says, I get that, the past is a dead country, but man the world these days has become so boringly safe and emotionally neutral through all this stupid political correctness that everyone forces on everyone else whether you like it or not.

is some really bizarre puppetry in that the writer is forcing into Lester's mouth garbage that even dennis o'leary or dennis miller would blanche at

I would venture into guessing what type of music Lester would like in 2013 had he lived, but that's like a pube away from writing fanfic where Gene Shalit fucks a cartoon pony.

My heads says "be kind", my heart says lol.

also i think this dude knows lester bangs only from the speech in almost famous and has never read anything he wrote

OTM. The line about political correctness in particular suggests that he doesn't really understand a thing about Bangs' POV.

I would venture into guessing what type of music Lester would like in 2013 had he lived, but that's like a pube away from writing fanfic where Gene Shalit fucks a cartoon pony.

agreed. but it wouldn't be albert hammond jr.

man I get enough incompetent necrophilia fanfic from Shakespeare criticism, surely no need to make those moves in rock criticism too? oy gevalt

I can't believe I read that thing, but I am really unhappy that I watched the video for Albert's song attached to it. Gotta go cleanse now.

also i think this dude knows lester bangs only from the speech in almost famous and has never read anything he wrote

I'm guessing he at least read LB's Jimi Hendrix 'interview', and had a great idea.

this is so good

it's sort of nice that in 2013 there is still someone naive enough to write an album review with the ghost of lester bangs as the main character

about a Strokes solo project, too!

http://img1.etsystatic.com/012/1/6396521/il_340x270.437584919_g6v8.jpg

http://www.regimebooks.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Charles-Pitter.jpg

haha wow

it's sort of nice that in 2013 there is still someone naive enough to write an album review with the ghost of lester bangs as the main character

"Gaga is an artist that creates for the sake of creation, and this is her manifesto"

http://www.billboard.com/articles/review/5778227/lady-gaga-artpop-track-by-track-review

I found the original long-lost All Music Guide one-and-a-half-star review of Coldplay's Parachutes! And I thought it was Stephen Thomas Whatsisname all these years.

It is rarely a good sign when you can't tell if an album is on or not. From British indie-guitar mumbling to completely innocuous songwriting, Coldplay's Parachutes is an unhealthy sign of a musical subculture that is mired far too deep into its own anonymity. Yes, this is an album that -- aside everything else -- refuses to acknowledge it is even alive. The problem might be in the marketing aspect of the band. If Embrace was a competing label's answer to Oasis, Coldplay seems to be another label's answer to Travis. This time the response is to try and manufacture an album that is so riddled with even more indie-by-number blandness that it will be nearly impossible for any potential record buyer to be offended, because Parachutes is an album in love with the ordinary. The closest the album ever comes to anything interesting is on "Shiver" -- a wafer-thin mimicry of Ned's Atomic Dustbin that at least implies that the band can do well when they play around with usual verse-chorus-verse structures. Still, other than that, the album is bare of anything else very noteworthy. The core single "Yellow" sets up an interesting premise with rolling guitar riffs and vocal cracks, yet goes absolutely nowhere with any of it. Also, closer "Everything's Not Lost" (despite at times sounding like a Randy Newman throwaway) has a wistful atmosphere about it that feels like an epilogue to an event that never happened. Even the better songs prove that there is a large failure to peak on this album. This is a traditional case of wasted opportunity. Everything is just so determinedly middle-of-the-road, one can only picture a dotted yellow line while listening to it. -- Dean Carlson