OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

Hey
Are you a fan of The Replacements, Archers of Loaf, Nerf Herder, Smashing Pumpkins, Bottle Rockets, Urge Overkill, Me First And The Gimmie Gimmies, The Cult, Jane's Addiction, Fountains of Wayne, Ween, Garage version of Chixdiggit, Wilco, Modest Mouse, the Smithereens, The Del Fuegos, Talking Heads, Dinosaur Jr., Against Me, Modern Baseball, Tripping Daisy, etc. Mid-90's stew, Thin Lizzy, some Jonathan Richman & the Modern Lovers, Sloan's Chris Murphy straight-edging his way into The Queers
-a slight Foo Fighters/Queens of the Stone Age vibe, but they sound more DIY.
-a funnier and more upbeat version of Tigers Jaw or the Front Bottoms
-like if Jon Spencer was trapped in a PopPunk band before discovering the Blues.
We try to harness the power of the Who (which comes naturally to us), the musicality of Wilco (everyone knows how good they are), and the lyrical genius of Ween (though we don't even come close to doing the amount of drugs they do/have done, and therefore probably won't come close to the level of Buenos Tardes Amigo, Stroker Ace, or Piss Up a Rope). That said, when people say we sound like Pavement, Spoon, or The Hold Steady, we don't disagree. Pavement was awesome. Spoon makes cool records. Craig Finn sings nice. Those are our aspirations as well. Our music isn't heavy metal, though at times we get pretty heavy. It's kinda Indie Rock, but without all the irony. And it's kinda punk, though you wouldn't think that from looking at us. It's hard to look punk and not get thrown out of PTA meetings so we keep our punk on the inside.

i know i know i got it in an e-mail, but still...

Wilco (everyone knows how good they are)

I claim this song title.

wilco (everyoneknowshowgoodtheyare)

Nobody seems to wonder
What my band sounds like
I gotta find a way
for this blurb to say
how we sound,
Everybody knows
we sound like Wilco

nah nah nahhhhh, nah nah nahhh nahhhhhh
(Everybody knows)
nah nah nahhhhh, nah nah nahhh nahhhhhh
(Everyone knows how good they are)

A slight Foo Fighters
NOT SO MUCH!!!
A trapped Jon Spencer
HE'S OUT OF TOUCH!!!
Kinda indie
WE'RE EXPOSED!!!
Everybody knows
we sound like Wilco

nah nah nahhhhh, nah nah nahhh nahhhhhh
(Everybody knows)
nah nah nahhhhh, nah nah nahhh nahhhhhh
(Everyone knows how good they are)

it comes naturally to us
we don't even come close
we don't even take drugs
we don't piss up a rope

that said, we don't disagree
that said, there's no irony
that said, we're pretty heavy
that said, we're kinda indie

nah nah nahhhh....

http://grantland.com/hollywood-prospectus/tyrese-is-hip-hops-first-billionaire/

WEIRDEST story and headline anyway. since they are actually talking about dre.

i guess it's a joke.

but i don't get it.

haha that thing is hilarious

http://thequietus.com/articles/15274-coldplay-ghost-stories-review

Dunno if the Mr. Agreeable character was ever actually funny (not since I've been aware of it) but this is tiresome and unpleasant in ways quite far from the kind of deflation of celebrity I suppose it's trying to be. "Gwyneth Paltrow, that ghastly, gulping, giraffe-necked, sick-making long drink of carb-averse goop"?

Lefsetz loves it

I finally read that NYT Mag piece by Austerwhatzis from April -- so THAT's what poptimism is!

like lool at living in a pitchfork dominated era and thinking 'poptimism' (however defined) somehow won

No one I know outside of the hardcore music fans are acquainted with Pitchfork, everyone knows that Justin Timberlake is "a great artist." Pee-mism has won.

stop

done.

(this is just like one of those internecine firefights btwn film critics that none of you know about)

That review of Ghost Stories made me chuckle.

So is Ghost Stories somehow related to the new Call of Duty game?

Enjoy...
http://www.laweekly.com/westcoastsound/2014/05/21/10-reasons-why-1994-was-the-best-year-for-music?showFullText=true

they save the best for last too @ #1

it's a compelling argument tbh

no mention of Bee Thousand in the indie section

suzy is mr agreeable?

guys don't click come on you're just encouraging them

aaaand from my hometown "alt" weekly:

Miley Cyrus and Morrissey are basically the same person. One is a lyrical genius shrouded in sexual mystery who speaks on behalf of intellectualism, animal rights, and sordid youths, defying borders and generations. The other is famous for a butt that resembles uncooked turkeys, being naked, and sticking her tongue out.

When Morrissey was 23, he was "celibate." When Miley puts on a Michael Jordan jersey, she's rumored to have sex with Mike Will Made It. They both have signature hair styles. They both have rabid fan bases. They both love to annoy the opposition.

The likeness is striking. And now they both given it their all on stage, singing "There Is a Light That Never Goes Out."

Was certain the first graf was gonna pull the "and the other is Morrissey" switcheroo.

what is this magical rumor-granting jersey (and does it work in reverse?)

Was certain the first graf was gonna pull the "and the other is Morrissey" switcheroo.

― Devilock, Wednesday, May 21, 2014 11:06 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yes, the old unswitched-switcheroo switcheroo.

not sure what's supposed to be egregiously bad about that 1994 listicle thing. there's no good reason for it to exist but on that basis about 95% of contemporary music writing should be pasted here

agree. compared to that telegraph britpop thing it's a shining voice of reason. also have to give props for juxtaposing darkthrone with ace of base in 10 and 9.

i think AG is like a vietnam vet he has flashbacks and freaks out at any mention of britpop

1994 was pretty sweet and there's plenty of good music mentioned but citing Counting Crows and Cranberries as evidence in your favor is odd.

I dont like posting negative things, but i cant not post this - this is just jaw droppingly wrong and stupid, delivered with the authority of the expert who really has not the first clue. Each wrong headed assumption resting on another, this is easily the worst review ive ever read.

http://thequietus.com/articles/14332-various-hardcore-traxx-dance-mania-records-1986-1997-review

http://i491.photobucket.com/albums/rr277/kadield/KickDog.gif

An inherent problem with dance retrospectives is that unless you already happen to have a vested nostalgic or archival interest in the era, it can be hard to find reasons to dip in. While it's not unusual for new ears to get turned on to latter-day rock and pop via oldies radio, compilations and the like, the forward thrust of electronic music leaves a scorched trail that proves tricky to travel back down. Dance fans are not expected to know their history.

lmao what

its every line as well of it, you cant even isolate just one line. So authoritatively and definitely delivered! To be so sure, when you have so little clue

But did you like my other reviews, anvil?

Reminds me of this classic Momus review:

"... this capsule encyclopaedia entry for Charlie Parker at first seems a model of lucidity and concision. Its air of infallible authority, though, is only skin-deep. I just don't accept that Parker's main contribution is in having shifted jazz from 'arpeggionic flurries' to 'chromatisism', and it doesn't help that one of those terms is mis-spelled and the other made up. There's nothing worse than authority trying to blind the reader with science which turns out, on closer inspection, to be voodoo."

This thread isn't for posting every article that you disagree with.

It's not like the issue is the writer's Controversial Opinions, it's that...he appears to not know very much about what he is writing about.

I mean there are a bunch of downright factual inaccuracies all over it.

Well you can ask him, he's right here

I ain't getting into the mix of uk folx arguing dance stuff

I'd have thought that the thread where anvil and I were originally disagreeing about dance music two days ago would have been a better place to repost that. But I guess this thread has more prominence on ILM so I get why he put it here.

1,500 words on "blog rock"? Can do!
http://grantland.com/features/blog-rock-clap-your-hands-say-yeah/

1,500 good, thoughtful, interesting words imo. This thread needs to get back to baffling, barely literate garbage and clueless rockist trolling.

yeah fair enough, it's not so much the quality of the writing as the topic that made me raise my eyebrows. Carry on!

hyden is garbage but i admit i didn't get past the first paragraph on that one

he's a half-decent feature writer but he might be the worst critic out there

half of that piece was about him trying to remember where he was the first time he heard tapes n' tapes, it was painful