Where will you go to talk about music after you leave ilm for good?

I have toyed with the idea of a Listening Club, but then I'd have to let weirdos like you all into my home. <3

Hell

katherine is correct -- being a music-liking woman talking about music irl is fraught with different pitfalls than it is for men. the nature of those pitfalls really depends more on the interlocutors themselves than the topic being discussed. i have found that occasionally people really engage with me and we have a lot to talk about and it's fun/interesting; other times it's like the random older (than me) man at a festival who asked me incredulously about knowing who Evan Parker was. i could be here all day with examples -- the details matter less than the general tenor of the interaction, which for me amounts to different flavors of "fraught" or "not-fraught/organic/comfortable"

there are some very special people who can talk about music irl and grant everyone they talk with the same level of courtesy and regard -- this is a gold standard to aim for imo, and i applaud those who can achieve it.

that said, the fraughtness being what it is,. there is literally no way i would invest anywhere near the amount of time in another music forum as i have in ilm. it would be too energy- and time-consuming. that is why i am never leaving. lol.

xps

Wow, everybody, I’m very glad to hear that!

I guess that’s how it goes in these kinds of threads, though. rob had been running the Rolling Dancehall threads almost singlehandedly for years until longneck showed up, and I duly took his recommendations and put them in my dancehall playlist, without ever posting so much as a “this one is great” (well, maybe once or twice), because I didn’t feel enough of an “expert” to contribute anything of interest.

I guess he’s a stronger man than I am, though. I’m not even the only poster on the Afropop thread, but the lack of feedback is real and I find it hard to deal with sometimes. Like, seriously, no one feels one way or another about this awesome music?

So yeah, I’m really happy that doesn’t really seem to be the case. Still, I’m always curious about how people feel about the tracks that are posted, and curious about other people’s favourites as well.

Is Ned's house invitation-only or can we all just go to Ned's house?

If the latter, I vote for that.

Sadly, I must ask you to reconsider. It might get crowded.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/b9/Itmightgetloud.PNG

x-post--- Yes, Rob has been doing a great job on the dancehall thread and contributing to soca and afropop/afrobeats as well.

I barely talk about music here anymore so the question is moot.

Well, that is not quite true, but I try to stick to some of the more narrowcast threads and avoid the ones that tend to become Big Brawls if I can help it.

I talked endlessly about music with my friends through the '70s. That continued through the '80s and '90s, and around '85 I started writing about it. Didn't write much after 2000, still talked a little; most of my music talk was in class and kind of one-way. Hardly ever talk about music with friends anymore, still talk about it in class, post semi-regularly on ILM, write about music once a year, in December. When I retire this year, the class talk will stop, the rest will continue sporadically.

I have no compulsion to talk about music anymore, in any venue. I still feel motivated to talk about baseball and films. Not music.

that said, the fraughtness being what it is,. there is literally no way i would invest anywhere near the amount of time in another music forum as i have in ilm. it would be too energy- and time-consuming. that is why i am never leaving. lol.

well, to be fair, it's two separate issues -- the fraughtness, and the fact that the music I listen to is simply not music that a lot of people care about. there's overlap, in that female artists tend to fall through those cracks more often, even with women, but it's not exactly the same thing. does have the same result, though

there's definitely a significant contingent of men whose response to meeting a woman who knows who evan parker (or whoever) is "omg marry me", which tends to make actually discussing evan parker slightly more challenging

I am by no means the most active ILM participant, but it is pretty much the only place I do any talking about music these days. I still have a few friends where much of my relationships with them has entered around talking about music, but between moving away to do my PhD and being absorbed in that, I don't get to communicate with them as much these days (my one friend will still text me on occasion re: a new album by an artist we both like; most recently, I've received "what do you think about the new ______?" texts re: Chvrches and Courtney Barnett within a week of their releases). It's more the case, though, that I'm just not as interested in talking about music these days, which may have as much to do with my tastes remaining stagnant/focused on the past these days than they once were. While out with some of my husband's colleagues a month or so ago, Cardi B (who I haven't paid much attention to) and Childish Gambino's "This is America" video (which I hadn't seen yet) both came up, and I had little to add to the conversation. Call it a sign of aging, but I'm just not engaged enough with what's going on in what's going on in music these days to want to talk much about it anymore.

I've gotten that maybe once or twice, I don't think the dude meant anything malicious by it and they definitely handled it well when I said I wasn't interested. the fraughtness I'm more concerned with is "you haven't heard of/don't like _____? wow, you're an idiot/fake music fan," whether stated or unstated

xp
aw thanks for that, breastcrawl and curmudgeon--I likewise value your efforts in maintaining extremely useful threads that lately I've mostly lurked on. It can definitely suck posting a lot to minimal reaction, and afrobeats especially is super vital and exciting right now. I've made my peace with dancehall not getting on most people's radar these days, but Wizkid should be like 2002 Sean Paul right now.

Hi eeyore :)

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

the fraughtness I'm more concerned with is "you haven't heard of/don't like _____? wow, you're an idiot/fake music fan," whether stated or unstated

― aloha darkness my old friend (katherine), Monday, August 13, 2018 6:52 PM (three days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this post turned out to be incredibly prescient

but who am I to talk, I'm just a troll apparently

Have stet or co announced when ilx is shutting down or what

when I leave ilx I won't be talking about music

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

good q

periodically irl? :(

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyQJXkj-wY8

more valid than ever

xp to crüt (originally)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oxe4mlsQos

hipinion noticed this poll, but their discussion inevitably went off on a tangent about the meteoric rise of Fishmans

ftr hipinion hasn't been culturally relevant since they started their Lewis 'L'amour' megathread in 2013, whereas ilxor hasn't been culturally relevant since [???????????}

in the interim since this poll closed i've decided to shift from boring people to death by talking about the records i like to boring people to death by talking about my gender dysphoria

which is good news because there are at least a couple dozen forums where everyone is 22 and has a drawing of themselves but if they were an anime girl as an avatar

I mostly just bore my wife with music talk, although I also manage to recommend her stuff she likes, so it's all good.

My friends aren't very adventurous when it comes to music. For whatever reason, this has been a staple of my existence as far back as I can remember. I've never met a true obsessive irl.

Last night, I was taking to a “rock guy” about music at a bar. When I mentioned that I mainly listen to pop and R&B these days, I got these responses:

* “That R&B must use a lot of auto-tune, huh?”

* “I heard Ryan Adam’s cover of Taylor Swift’s 1989, and decided to try listening to the original album, pretending that it was by a new indie artist or something. I didn’t hate it; those are some pretty good songs.”

He also delivered a take on modern hip-hop which I won’t repeat here (he contrasted it to the ‘90s rap that he loves); though to his credit, he prefaced it by admitting he was largely ignorant on the topic.

Anyway... taking about music IRL can be a trip.

Trip or trap? “Trip trap, trip trap,” said the troll. “Who’s that trip-trapping over my bridge?”

It is a trip! I recently learned that a guy I know wasn’t aware of Sassy magazine! Unless he was messing with me, which I guess is possible but cruel and not in character, I’d assume he was being sincere. I explained! I like when people are honest about things they don’t know about. That’s part of the joy of talking about music irl imo. The other part is mostly about talking with people irl.

Learning about things from people is enjoyable as well — the sharing of knowledge in general

I like when people are honest about things they don’t know about

otm about learning and knowledge.

i mostly know sassy magazine through their association with ian svenonius

I subscribed to Jane magazine for a few years as a young single guy (late ‘90s).

My older sister had many issues of Sassy, and like any reading material she brought to the house, I read it too.

Was Sassy the one that used to have "Cute Band Alert"?
My younger sister also had a subscription, and I did find myself leafing through the copies more than I would've ever admitted to my friends at school.

For years I thought Sassy magazine was just a made-up thing from that SNL sketch with Phil Hartman.

In fact, you could say it was a thing I was shockingly old when I learned

at the very least it's a conversation starter! while i was out that night, i asked a few more people if they were aware of Sassy magazine (then and/or now) and one guy learned about it via Rookie. ya never know! this is why talking with people is enjoyable. it's not a competition.

Was Sassy the one that used to have "Cute Band Alert"?
yes
also "sassiest boy in america" (ian svenonius was the inaugural winner iirc), tutorials for making your own clothes and other DIY stuff, cover stories about girls who do cool things, diverse models. a total departure from girl mags of the time. it was a real template for what we recognize as modern girlhood (diverse, confident, independent, DIY) it came up because i was talking about making collaged flyers with my class by cutting up old magazines and i bragged that i had every issue of sassy but they're in a pile at my parents' house. my brag was useless though bc this person wasn't aware of sassy. the end.

anyway as far as talking about music is concerned, i recommend a perennial classic: going to shows and talking with people.

I recently learned that a guy I know wasn’t aware of Sassy magazine!

How old is he? I've never heard of it but then again I was born in the mid-80s and have never knowingly bought a music magazine.

i wouldn't have brought it up if he were very much older or younger than me -- he's about 4 years younger than i am iirc?
i used to guzzle music magazines, it was all there was!