So I woke up early and went to the ArcLight for the 11:15 show.Now I left my parking ticket in the car. I realized this as I got out of the elevator on the first floor. You see I’d been scrounging for my energy bars in my automobile and forgot all about the parking ticket, which you need, otherwise you’re going to get charged up the yin-yang.
And on the way back up I got off on the wrong floor. You see the stairs were closed for repairs. And I started to get antsy, was I gonna miss part of the movie? I’m like Woody Allen, I’ve got to start at the beginning, otherwise I’m convinced I’ve missed something.
Then I see people who are obviously going to the ArcLight. So I put it in high gear, I don’t want to wait in line for a ticket. I pass people on the escalators, and I ran up to the counter just before a woman and her two little kids and purchased my ducat and immediately went to the bathroom. That’s right, I’m old, what are the odds I can sit through a three hour picture without peeing? Pretty low.
Actually, I’d had nothing to drink in the morning, I was prepared.
And when I entered the theatre, a big one, #1, I saw the usual beshirted usher ready to give the ArcLight rap. But she didn’t, because I was the only person in the theatre. She said when big movies open, sometimes they start ’em at 9 AM and nobody is there, so this wasn’t the biggest surprise to her, but it was to me.
So I’d picked one seat from center, so I moved over.
And then I realized I was looking up ever so slightly, so I went to the row behind, and then the sound was a bit softer, so I went back to the prior row. I know, it’s OCD, but really, the lower row was better. And I’m constantly checking my pockets to make sure I’ve got all my gear. And it’s then that I realize…
I’ve lost my wallet.
Oh boy. You mean I killed myself to get here on time and now I’m gonna miss some of the movie to look? Hell, maybe I’ll just wait until the end, someone will turn it in, but will I be calm during the show?
No.
There are only two trailers at the ArcLight. At least that used to be the pitch, I haven’t been in a long time, I haven’t been in eons, because it’s just too much of a hassle. I plan, and then when I’m there I wish I wasn’t, my mind can’t slow down.
So I’m standing by the exit, waiting to see… AND THERE’S A THIRD TRAILER!
I rush out to the ticket-taker, has anybody turned in a wallet?
No. But he said lost and found was handled by the concession.
So I walked over and interrupted a man pulling popcorn, but he didn’t have it either.
I went to the bathroom.
Gone.
And now I’m starting to flip. Forget the money, it’s the credit cards and IDs I’m worried about.
And the trailer is still going, so I whip out the flashlight on my iPhone and look for said wallet beneath the seats in my row and the row behind.
No go, it’s not there.
Now I’m starting to freak, this doesn’t add up, so I retrace my steps from the first of my rows to the second, and on the edge of the concrete, in the row behind, there it is.
So, I could be calm during the film.
― difficult listening hour, Wednesday, 2 October 2019 00:10 (four years ago) link