OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

thanks for the new name

instantly obsessed with that Fuel piece... amazing work

The fuel website also has useful non-drumming related content: https://www.fuelrocks.com/sustainable-solutions-how-to-properly-dispose-of-55-gallon-drums-of-oil/

Title could be shorter, “Eric”:

https://www.fuelrocks.com/mastering-midi-channel-invasion-for-getgood-drums-a-step-by-step-guideintroductionbriefly-explain-what-midi-channel-invasion-is-and-its-relevance-in-using-getgood-drums-highlight-the-importance-of-ma/

Oh shit:

https://www.fuelrocks.com/kid-rock-iconoclastic-american-singer-songwriter-dies-at-46/

Pour one out for the Kid...

Keep reading those articles, they get funnier and funnier

https://www.fuelrocks.com/prince-harry-and-his-drumming-skills-unveiling-the-musical-side-of-the-duke-of-sussex/

hahaha that's the mother lode wow

Truly we have found the great mystery here

Key Points

The collaboration between Will Ferrell and Red Hot Chili Peppers was an unforgettable and unforgettable experience for both the performers and the audience. A world audience was treated to Will Ferrell’s drumming skills alongside the legendary rock band as they created a musical and entertainment fusion that was both entertaining and popular.

This collaboration will have a long-term impact as well as an immediate impact. As a result, creativity has no boundaries, and artists can experiment and express themselves in a variety of creative ways. Aside from expanding Will Ferrell’s reach into new genres, the collaboration also provided him with new avenues for future collaborations and projects with artists such as the Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Flaming Lips, and many others.

that kid rock article gets his age wrong too, which seems like something AI should be able to get right

Sachin Tendulkar is one of the greatest batsmen of all time, no doubt about it!

It's not "worst ever," but I got irrationally annoyed at a Rolling Stone Lollapalooza writeup that referred to Billie Eilish performing "Oxycontin" (the song is "Oxytocin")

Feels like an argument in favor of A.I. tbh

Or sub-editors

It's not "worst ever," but I got irrationally annoyed at a Rolling Stone Lollapalooza writeup that referred to Billie Eilish performing "Oxycontin" (the song is "Oxytocin")

Not sure if I am doing this correctly, but #OneThread

Oh! I Always Get Those Two Mixed Up!

https://www.stereogum.com/2232515/broadcast-haha-sound-turns-20/reviews/the-anniversary/
god, where to begin, I’ll start with ctrl-f Cargill

yeah I peaced out after the opening, surprised I got through the entire paragraph tbh

first paragraph came perilously close to ruining the album for me. proceed with caution.

confident failure on simple terms like "archetype" and "naïeveté", or calling TNMBP "dissonant experimentation" rmde

One moment the titular Valerie wears a purple dress in an all-white bedroom, the next she’s surrounded by nuns at a church service where the state of being a woman is compared to the state of being a pomegranate (which is to say, split me open at the center and fuck me, daddy).

I am not letting this author near my fruit salad

I'm just the same boy I used to be

My wife almost never mentions music writing, but she sent me this link and was like "???", and... oh boy, whadda piece (turns out it's the one mookieproof posted a screenshot of back on March 4, but I'm not sure if it excellence was fully appreciated): Are We Finally Ready to See Neutral Milk Hotel for What It Really Was?

The last sentence of that piece is a gem

that is way too long to read after being posted itt

I did scroll to the last sentence and oof

aside from the fact that loading slate on my phone is always a painful experience, I thought that essay was…fine?

as far as bad essays go I figured the revive would be about this one

https://www.newyorker.com/news/our-columnists/a-close-listen-to-rich-men-north-of-richmond

oh god no

Much like “Idol” contestants, such as Bo Bice or Scotty McCreery, Anthony can really sing. His voice isn’t quite as smooth and virtuosic as the country star Chris Stapleton’s, but it carries a similar depth of tone and his screamy rasp never feels like the affectation of an amateur who is trying too hard, but rather does what it’s supposed to do: communicate emotion.

Counterpoint: No.

Tell it to my rasp, my achy screamy rasp

slate informs me we need to talk about my adblocker

personally I feel the adblocker prevented me from reading this piece, and that's ok

It is (believe me) – though fwiw, activating the ol' Reading Mode (or whatever such browser extension you may use for that) gets around it.

Should We Be Blocking Ads? A Case For Being Sold To

I thought Carl Wilson was respected here; now he's the written the worst music article ever?

both things can be true, or sequential perhaps

just a matter of taste

Yes, I may just not be into certain types of “today’s” music writing (so it’s a me thing to some degree). There’ve been one or two other cases like that recently, maybe in the Pitchfork thread.

I believe PK was making a reference to Wilson's Celine Dion 33 1/3 book

which I remember liking, but I'm not sure I've ever been that into his work for Slate

all that quote needed was a comparison to Greta Van Fleet singer

https://louderthanwar.com/swans-albert-hall-manchester-live-review/

author is a "creative music writer" and this reads like a sixth-form assignment

Eh, at least she tried something. An editor could have helped her but I doubt that site has one.

Guess I just shouldn’t click on music writing anymore, b/c holy shit: https://thebaffler.com/latest/california-gothic-marzoni

I think the author of that is a return nominee to this thread?

The Baffler living up to its name

The urban fog that has trailed shibboleths of progress to the Pacific Rim hovers over a reflection in once-clear water that looks final in its murkiness: finding the barbarisms of modernity exacerbated and multiplied on the outer cusp of the American continent, settled under the false assurance of beginning anew, we can no longer dispute that the monsters are us.

In his neo-noir western, There Will Be Blood, Paul Thomas Anderson diagnoses mastery of the Occidental frontier as an Oedipal struggle between Christianity and capitalism, while statutory rapist Roman Polanski reimagines, in Chinatown, super engineer William Mulholland’s irrigation of the desert by means of the Los Angeles Aqueduct as an incest fantasy (a prevalent subgenre of the Gothic and noir) wherein the archetypal small-business owner, private investigator Jake Gittes (Jack Nicholson), uncovers the extent to which developers have fucked the local citizenry, their own offspring not excepted, for eons to come—and as Nicholson’s 1990 sequel, The Two Jakes, attests, boy, will they fuck again.

I honestly don’t think it’s meant to be “read”… how could it be(??)

https://www.stereogum.com/2233806/alice-cooper-new-album-keanu-reeves-trans-issues/interviews/weve-got-a-file-on-you/

why would anyone think asking alice cooper for his opinions on trans people is a good idea at all, just inviting him to say something bigoted. most charitably this just seems like total naivety from the interviewer hoping that he might say something positive based on comments from nearly 50 years ago? but even in the best case that does pretty much nothing for anyone and otherwise they're just letting him spew hate

Because that approach generates clicks?

most charitably this just seems like total naivety from the interviewer hoping that he might say something positive based on comments from nearly 50 years ago?

Based on the interviewer's previous work, that's my guess as to what happened. She mostly writes about contemporary pop music, in a cheerleading style. I've interviewed Cooper; he's a genuinely nice guy. I have no reason to believe he holds any hostility toward trans people. But he's also a befuddled old man who really shouldn't be asked what he thinks about things that his 75-year-old cable-news-addled mind is not prepared to process.