a promo photo thread for '80s/'90s bands oozing sobriety and wisdom in the present day

my capacity to find him hilarious and cool at age 16 versus 38 is one of the biggest gulfs of unrecognizability between me and my youth, but so it goes with that kinda thing i guess - Jerky Boys probably occupy a similar niche for a lot of people. hats off to him for seemingly managing to make this a career tho.

State of these nobheads

https://mm.aiircdn.com/5/5ddcf739a80a7.jpg

Not really getting a lot of sobriety or wisdom from that pic.

Alice / Vincent has been sober for 35 years tbh and seems to be fairly together

dunno about Perry but I wouldn't go to him or Depp for wisdom

I have always read this thread title as entirely ironic

The Metallica photo is hilarious. Should've called the album, i dunno, Voodoo Lounge or something

why oh why do people in bands STILL think sunglasses are cool?

sunglasses are cool! they are!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunglasses, ammo belts, fur hats, etc do not look cool when a stylist puts them on a veteran badboy in an attempt to look tough when he'd really rather be practicing his putting or detailing his Mustang or whatever.

so cool

It's surprising how un bendy they are of gender these bands. What a crap era it's been for rock fashions this last 30 years.

when o when will Alice Cooper relax his unbending stance on gender norms

p sure these guys are not sober by any definition but
https://www.billboard.com/files/styles/article_main_image/public/media/los-lobos-cr-bmi-2017-billboard-1548.jpg

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EOgi1SpW4AAiASM?format=jpg&name=large

Who is that?

Not much sobriety there

sobriety is relative

https://www.ilxor.com/ILX/ThreadSelectedControllerServlet?boardid=41&threadid=45848

Thought for a minute that it was Bowling For Soup, and how great it was that one guy had lost so much weight... except:

https://tonedeaf.thebrag.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/bfs-768x435.jpg

image filters that attempt to convey a sense of oozing sobriety and wisdom in the present day

This has just reminded me that about a year ago I was introduced to a member of the Barenaked Ladies at a gig and *all* I could think about was *that* thread.

We're jumping on the road with @Nickelback this summer.
Looking forward to seeing you there.
Tickets go on sale 1/23 at 10am local. Get more info here: https://t.co/XJOgJq9lqO#stonetemplepilots pic.twitter.com/b7jEAxovq2

— Stone Temple Pilots (@STPBand) January 21, 2020

photoshop collages that attempt to convey a sense of oozing sobriety and wisdom in the present day

Playing an album "from cover to cover" = odd metaphor

there's just one stylist that styles all these bands right

Every 40+ year old guy who wants to look respectable but still cool just happens to have exactly the same misguided idea of how to try to pull that off

I'd like to see some pics of 80s/90s bands actually looking cool in the present day

I don't know which STP member that is second from left, but I coulda swore Scot Weiland died years ago.

Nickleback looking very "Table for 4 at Buffalo Wild Wings".

I had no idea Rascal Flatts had changed their name.

Part of me has kinda wanted to see Nickelback for a while (supposedly they're a good, entertaining live act) but if there's ever a band that should not do a "plays their classic album in full" tour...

in that photo i have no idea which band is STP and which is Nickelback

maybe one of them is "Tyler Bryant and the Shakedown"?

I think they might've just put the wrong text on a Riverdance promo.

Pretty sure they picked two guys from each band, took the photo on the right, gave haircuts to the longhairs, and then photographed the same four dudes for the one on the left

Rusty McGonigle and the Sepia Dads

depressing yet great thread

It could be argued that when you crop the group photo so you're only seeing the models from the shoulder up, you're not gonna get the maximum value from your western wear interstate billboard.

this is such an all time great thread title

That Stone Temple Pilots post linked above should be introduced as Exhibit A in the trial of Stone Temple Pilots v. Guided by Voices.

in that photo i have no idea which band is STP and which is Nickelback

Me neither. Going from the photos if I had to guess I would go Nickelback on the right. But the fact those photos look slightly smaller makes me think that's more likely STP

I like how Nickelback’s portrait also looks ready for a Wall Street Journal story. And how you know the band or their manager made the designer resize STP’s portrait 20% smaller.

I feel bad that I actually know what Chad Kroeger looks like...and also how to correctly spell his name.

I clicked on the STP tweet, the replies are pretty funny — it’s a steady stream of fans complaining about the Nickelback pairing (“please kick your manager in the balls”), and a sprinkling of “Come to Brazil!” tweets.

At last, the state fair-ening of the '90s alternaboom has begun in earnest. In a parallel universe, a bloated Nirvana is somewhere in rural Kansas waiting backstage for Matchbox 20 to finish their opening set.

I heard a commercial AM station segue from Pink Floyd's "On the Run" into Pearl Jam's "Evenflow" the other day.

I don't know why I'm posting that to this thread, but it somehow made sense to do so.

Yeah, one gets tired of noticing "___ is on the OLDIES station now?!?!?!?"

Eventually you give up and just accept that the Monkees and Nirvana are equally oldie

Prince and KC and the Sunshine Band back to back

Little River Band, badasses:

https://s.hdnux.com/photos/01/02/64/46/17516935/3/920x920.jpg

NB that only one of those people was in Little River Band in the 1980s, and for the last 22 years it has contained no original or success-era or Australian members

Hey, take it easy on them.