fyre festival is going well

Not shocked to learn that the actors haven't been paid a cent.

I was starting to get angry. The other Oompa Loompa came over at this point...

If nothing else this is the most quotable story of the year and probably will remain so.

I feel for her. I don't quite get why this story took off the way it did, but it obv struck a nerve...

I mean, I like the appropriation, but I’d have to do something with all the black space below. pic.twitter.com/HZGLrOE3wd

— stuart murdoch (@nee_massey) February 29, 2024

yeah I guess I didn't see the reaction to the photo as mocking as more a relatable "wtf have I gotten myself into with this shitty job" type of thing we've all experienced

"all the black space below"? i think you'll find that's the Unknown you big twee pillock

“Yep, that me. You probably wonder how I got here.”

You wonder what noted misanthropist Roald Dahl would have made of this.

probably roald on the floor laughing

Roafddle

My sis said the same thing “ as if Dahl wasn’t evil enough already“. And yeah, the reason I couldn’t stop laughing and still can’t is that she just looks like she needs a freaking hug.

Myself and some colleagues had plans to do some events in that building but it is now irredeemably tainted, which is sad as it is an incredible space. (it's an old Kodak processing facility).

Initially I speculated that this event was put together by another 2 Glasgow chancers who have an amazing ability of consistently putting on the worst possible events. They actually have this very unique skill set as it seems to me almost impossible to put together events as ineptly as they do (they would have made an even worse job of this than the guy who put it on). If they weren't such reprehensible characters I'd be tempted to employ them to put together some similarly low-grade events as I think if promoted as the worst event you will ever go to and with a low ticket price one could build a cult audience, somewhat akin to Banksy's Dismaland.

Do they run a reissues label by any chance

No, they don't. Which chancers are those?

Take your pick of Glasgow chancers.

Doo dah, doo dah

Some happier pix of the oompa loompa situ
https://bsky.app/profile/benbartlett.bsky.social/post/3kmkmkdyqst2d

https://i.imgur.com/eDo0V1b.png

THE OOMPA LOOMPA QUEEN HAS SPOKEN pic.twitter.com/EpEBXCBb0N

— 𝕯𝖎𝖑𝖉𝖔 𝕭𝖆𝖌𝖌𝖎𝖓𝖘 (@EmmaTolkin) February 29, 2024

Pretty sure she'll be offered plenty of work from now on!

I mean, we all know by now that that’s not how it works, don’t we?

https://i.imgur.com/OTBg76o.jpeg

haha thank you tracer!

Wait what? Oh, I see, ha!

For a second I thought it was just the original reposted.

Natalie Dormer vibes out of Oompa character imo.

srsly was glad to see oompa loompa queen seems very very kind and sensible and well.

tracer's image is killing me welcome to hard times

New FB post from the House of Illuminati!

I am reaching out to address the recent cancellation of the “Willys Chocolate Experience” event. Firstly, I want to extend my sincerest apologies to each and every one of you who was looking forward to this event. I understand the disappointment and frustration this has caused, and for that, I am truly sorry.
It’s important for me to clarify that the organization and decisions surrounding this event were solely my responsibility. I want to make it clear that anyone who was hired externally or offered their help, are not affiliated with the me or the company, any use of faces can cause serious harm to those who did not have any involvement in the making of this event.
In realtion to the gowanbank hub: this was a non profit organisation that was set during covid to provide help and support to people in need of help. Which I was responsible for. The Named directors roles were focused on supporting our community and ensuring the continuation of the hub's activities, without any direct involvement in the event’s organization or financial decisions.
Regarding a personal matter, there will be no wedding, and no wedding was funded by the ticket sales. This is a difficult time for me, and I ask for your understanding and privacy.
Regarding the refunds, I am committed to rectifying this situation. All all 850 Transactions will be continue to be refunded has been posted to ensure transparency and to demonstrate my commitment to making this right for everyone affected.
I ask for a bit of time to process everything that has happened. My intention is to learn from this experience. Your support and understanding during this time mean the world to me.
Thank you for taking the time to read this message.
Sincerely

(That is how it ended. Just, 'sincerely.')

https://www.reallycutecats.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/catmelonhead.jpg

The wedding mention is giving me 'My "Not involved in human trafficking" T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt' energy.

If they don't have Sarah Sherman playing the Oompah Loompah Queen on SNL tomorrow they are really dumb

you can't believe anyone

https://gizmodo.com/new-wonka-hoax-actress-who-said-she-played-the-unknown-1851301310

I refuse to believe the Unknown was English.

Bound to have been from Paisley

Prince

#OompahLoompahTruther

I've seen plenty of Oompah Loompah's in Paisley, Glasgow, Hamilton etc right enough

Accidental Oompah

More about the guy behind it all

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-68431728

“ I ask for a bit of time to process everything that has happened. My intention is to learn from this experience. Your support and understanding during this time mean the world to me.”

TLDR: “sorry ‘bout it”

The author's biographical information describes him as an "enigmatic wordsmith from the bustling streets of Glasgow" and a "rising star of the literary world".

Are we sure this isn't Bobby Gillespie?

Oompa Loompa women interviewed on Good Morning Britain.

More scoop from the sad Oompa on her TikTok channel.

The author's biographical information describes him as an "enigmatic wordsmith from the bustling streets of Glasgow" and a "rising star of the literary world".

Looking forward to his next book Shitty Things to be filmed by Tommy Wiseau

https://knowyourmeme.com/news/wonka-actor-from-disastrous-wonka-experience-accused-of-grooming-student-from-time-he-was-a-teacher

just realised i know that lad, he went to a drama school in Hull

As Philip Larkin said, "Hull is other people."

the original wonka thing happened less than a week ago. its impact…. astounding pic.twitter.com/8O4WqNOlYS

— David Mack (@davidmackau) March 2, 2024

The Unknown known.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/unkown-willy-wonka-experience-glasgow-b2506115.html

https://✧✧✧.tik✧✧✧.c✧✧✧@feli✧✧✧.wis✧✧✧/video/7341452364940922145