Rolling Worst Music of 2018

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this quote from post malone really says a lot about everything's suckitude

“If you’re looking for lyrics, if you’re looking to cry, if you’re looking to think about life, don’t listen to hip-hop. There’s great hip-hop songs where they talk about life and they spit that real shit, but right now, there’s not a lot of people talking about real shit... Whenever I want to cry, whenever I want to sit down and have a nice cry, I’ll listen to some Bob Dylan. Or whenever I’m trying to have a good time and stay in a positive mood, I listen to hip-hop. Because it’s fun. I think hip-hop is important because it brings people together in a beautiful, happy way.”

maura, Wednesday, 3 January 2018 15:35 (eleven months ago) Permalink

like he's a white rapper with no talent who's also... a rockist? you really can be anyone in america (if your dad runs nhl concessions)

maura, Wednesday, 3 January 2018 15:35 (eleven months ago) Permalink

my single is being released in January as originally tweeted. Nothing’s changed. I’ll anounce when I’m ready, a few days before.

— IGGY AZALEA (@IGGYAZALEA) January 2, 2018

maura, Wednesday, 3 January 2018 15:36 (eleven months ago) Permalink

rolling white rap '18

imago, Wednesday, 3 January 2018 15:37 (eleven months ago) Permalink

leaves me wondering which Dylan songs can make you cry

President Keyes, Wednesday, 3 January 2018 15:40 (eleven months ago) Permalink

how about an igloo australia to go with the cold snap

sick, fucking funny, and well tasty (katherine), Wednesday, 3 January 2018 15:40 (eleven months ago) Permalink

yess

maura, Wednesday, 3 January 2018 15:41 (eleven months ago) Permalink

technically 2017 but

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXyLdg4mJxo

algorithm is a dancer (katherine), Monday, 15 January 2018 15:10 (ten months ago) Permalink

Even Dylan would be rolling his eyes at that quote.

Dan Worsley, Monday, 15 January 2018 15:27 (ten months ago) Permalink

that video cracks me up because he's screaming I'M STANDING HERE NA-KED when he is sitting there, fully clothed.

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Monday, 15 January 2018 15:57 (ten months ago) Permalink

Congratulations to ilxor Karl "Post" Malone on his smash hit song rockstar!

IF (Terrorist) Yes, Explain (man alive), Tuesday, 16 January 2018 18:51 (ten months ago) Permalink

Hey now

Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 16 January 2018 19:00 (ten months ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

This year’s entry for rock band slapped together by central casting.
https://youtu.be/Wsm0xo-sA5I

IF (Terrorist) Yes, Explain (man alive), Saturday, 3 February 2018 02:35 (ten months ago) Permalink

Sounds like Collective Soul.

skip, Saturday, 3 February 2018 03:11 (ten months ago) Permalink

"Saw these guys open for Nickelback a while ago and was pretty impressed! Their drummer had so much energy on stage and I liked how they interacted with the crowd"

skip, Saturday, 3 February 2018 03:12 (ten months ago) Permalink

Made it to 0:25

billstevejim, Saturday, 3 February 2018 07:15 (ten months ago) Permalink

I often wonder what sincere, tearful "Bob Dylan" nitwits like Post Malone are talking about certainly not the hermetic cryptic weirdo funnyman I've loved all these years

bhad and bhabie (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Saturday, 3 February 2018 15:05 (ten months ago) Permalink

Does this count? https://www.nytimes.com/2018/02/05/opinion/dating-metoo.htm

self-clowning oven (Murgatroid), Tuesday, 6 February 2018 05:29 (ten months ago) Permalink

Dammit https://nyti.ms/2GRSt0W

self-clowning oven (Murgatroid), Tuesday, 6 February 2018 05:29 (ten months ago) Permalink

Clicked the link without realizing I had my sound turned off, but immediately saw ukulele and smirking and didn't even bother trying to listen to it.

iCloudius (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 6 February 2018 05:31 (ten months ago) Permalink

Please watch the video, sicko.

self-clowning oven (Murgatroid), Tuesday, 6 February 2018 05:36 (ten months ago) Permalink

OK, I did. Exactly as unfunny and annoying as I expected. The only thing that made me laugh a bit was the guy's mild resemblance to a young Rodney Dangerfield.

iCloudius (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 6 February 2018 05:44 (ten months ago) Permalink

I like Chloe x Halle but this is not good, their own personal "New Americana":

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsnyz__pc5M

algorithm is a dancer (katherine), Wednesday, 14 February 2018 19:48 (nine months ago) Permalink

This isn't good, but "New Americana" is an awfully low bar.

Dangleballs and the Ballerina (cryptosicko), Thursday, 15 February 2018 03:24 (nine months ago) Permalink

yeah, i don't even mind the kids are alright honestly
tbh if i hadn't known it was cxh going into it, i might feel different tho

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Thursday, 15 February 2018 03:45 (nine months ago) Permalink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OOq2mc6xqE

maura, Thursday, 15 February 2018 17:24 (nine months ago) Permalink

this really sums up everything bad about the late 2010s. all it needs is the imagine dragons guy snarling on backup

maura, Thursday, 15 February 2018 17:26 (nine months ago) Permalink

didn't really believe that was a JB cover until i hit play; the fucking nerve of some people

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Thursday, 15 February 2018 18:29 (nine months ago) Permalink

barf

vicious almond beliefs (crüt), Thursday, 15 February 2018 18:34 (nine months ago) Permalink

let's take a super fun James Brown song but take out everything that is funky and cool and vibrant about it and replace it with a lifeless beat and an uncharismatic frontperson

vicious almond beliefs (crüt), Thursday, 15 February 2018 18:43 (nine months ago) Permalink

Trying to imagine the hypothetical human being who would enjoy this song is even more difficult than trying to imagine the hypothetical human being who would still care about the 50 Shades series three movies in.

Dangleballs and the Ballerina (cryptosicko), Thursday, 15 February 2018 18:50 (nine months ago) Permalink

This has been compared to Neiked's "Sexual" but this is like the worst possible outcome of that song's impact:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJahHkGD0YI

self-clowning oven (Murgatroid), Tuesday, 20 February 2018 21:20 (nine months ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZla1ttZHaw

in which mr. dicky fantasizes about how wonderful it would be to be able to say the n-word if he were black

dyl, Friday, 16 March 2018 14:40 (eight months ago) Permalink

this song came on in my lyft last night and it filled me with rage

it was also a 'world premiere' on the iheart hip-hop station. happy bankruptcy you fucking motherfuckers

maura, Friday, 16 March 2018 14:56 (eight months ago) Permalink

That video is a hate crime.

Dangleballs and the Ballerina (cryptosicko), Friday, 16 March 2018 16:32 (eight months ago) Permalink

that's the dude from american vandal at the beginning?

na (NA), Friday, 16 March 2018 16:37 (eight months ago) Permalink

who collaborated with the dicks

aloha darkness my old friend (katherine), Friday, 16 March 2018 16:49 (eight months ago) Permalink

“I’m Kendall Jenner / I got a vagina / I’m gonna explore that right now / Holy s— I got a vagina / I’m gonna learn / I’m gonna understand the inner workings of a woman,” the 22-year-old Keeping Up with the Kardashians star raps as Lil Dicky.

http://people.com/music/ed-sheeran-kendall-jenner-backlash-chris-brown-music-video/

maura, Saturday, 17 March 2018 12:51 (eight months ago) Permalink

I was waiting for "Freaky Friday" to pop up here.

self-clowning oven (Murgatroid), Saturday, 17 March 2018 17:20 (eight months ago) Permalink

Fictionalized nice guy version of Chris brown wishes all his troubles would just go away, lil dicky wishes he had Chris brown's level of credibility. Magic Asian makes their dreams come true. Worse than I imagined from reading about it.

omar little, Saturday, 17 March 2018 18:34 (eight months ago) Permalink

hobo johnson

https://youtu.be/5MIVvnQHxeM

difficult to watch

na (NA), Monday, 19 March 2018 16:07 (eight months ago) Permalink

https://youtu.be/1slMsfR5eJQ

https://youtu.be/fB5dyNMNdT8

na (NA), Monday, 19 March 2018 16:08 (eight months ago) Permalink

the concept seems to be bringing the concept of quiet-loud dynamics to gross white-boy rap; ie alternating between mumbling and YELLING for no reason

na (NA), Monday, 19 March 2018 16:09 (eight months ago) Permalink

havent been able to get more than ten seconds into this but can someone please tell me what the fuck this shit is

https://youtu.be/JaOabnTaYdA

global tetrahedron, Thursday, 22 March 2018 15:07 (eight months ago) Permalink

didn't listen but i did see someone call it 'twenty one pilots for kids who listen to the front bottoms'

maura, Thursday, 22 March 2018 15:27 (eight months ago) Permalink

me at the beginning of this thread: "lol, terrible, thanks guys, needed a laugh today"

me after watching that hobo johnson video: "we must exterminate the white race"

Paul Ponzi, Thursday, 22 March 2018 16:51 (eight months ago) Permalink

Those Hobo Johnson videos are from 2016.

grawlix (unperson), Thursday, 22 March 2018 16:56 (eight months ago) Permalink

this one is new

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MIVvnQHxeM

maura, Thursday, 22 March 2018 17:03 (eight months ago) Permalink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJtymKPrSuQ

sleepingbag, Thursday, 22 March 2018 17:10 (eight months ago) Permalink

this is amazing because of the sheer number of axes it is bad on

aloha darkness my old friend (katherine), Wednesday, 15 August 2018 18:43 (three months ago) Permalink

at least this is making me feel a bit better abt the new 1975 song in comparison

lowercase (eric), Wednesday, 15 August 2018 18:55 (three months ago) Permalink

I forwarded it to a (Paul-loving) friend; he commented that the beat/chord progression reminds him of this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMXuuYnoRdI

empire bro-lesque (morrisp), Wednesday, 15 August 2018 18:55 (three months ago) Permalink

time to rerun the solo beatles poll

wayne trotsky (Simon H.), Wednesday, 15 August 2018 19:33 (three months ago) Permalink

i think we can just put this at no. 1 and bump everything down one notch

The Desus & Mero Chain (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 15 August 2018 19:35 (three months ago) Permalink

yeah this is horrible

disappointment plays a part

niels, Thursday, 16 August 2018 08:04 (three months ago) Permalink

It's a definite 'how do you do fellow kids' moment but not THAT bad as a tune. Like, I think it'd be a sweet little ditty if not for the awful title/conclusion of the chorus.

triggercut, Thursday, 16 August 2018 12:34 (three months ago) Permalink

It's like Galway Girl but worse

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 16 August 2018 13:45 (three months ago) Permalink

great day for George people

aloha darkness my old friend (katherine), Thursday, 16 August 2018 14:03 (three months ago) Permalink

george was a big fan of Brute Force's "King of Fuh" and got it issued on the Apple label. i haven't heard this new song because my life is hard enough without my going out of my way to torture myself but i'm going to postulate that paul's new song can't be _that_ much worse.

Arch Bacon (rushomancy), Thursday, 16 August 2018 14:09 (three months ago) Permalink

is there a worst merch thread

Let it be known that my most embarrassing son, big boy sex-haver Zayn Malik, has the WORST fucking piece of merch I've ever seen for sale on his website pic.twitter.com/STEBeQqFp1

— Whitney Reynolds (@whitneyarner) August 16, 2018

maura, Friday, 17 August 2018 00:30 (three months ago) Permalink

finally figured out what the Macca song reminds me of:

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=len+steal+my+sunshine

+ Ryan Tedder

Paul Ponzi, Friday, 17 August 2018 12:34 (three months ago) Permalink

I don't know who "grandson" is but jesus he's like a compendium of irritating 00s vocal tics

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sld6Iik_yhc&feature=youtu.be

The Desus & Mero Chain (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Friday, 17 August 2018 17:38 (three months ago) Permalink

lol why does he move around the stage like that

J0rdan S., Friday, 17 August 2018 18:56 (three months ago) Permalink

so bad

niels, Monday, 20 August 2018 13:47 (three months ago) Permalink

this song suck a lot
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBTC7C2y11M

davey, Saturday, 25 August 2018 22:52 (three months ago) Permalink

jesus christ @ paul mccartney

Kelsey Grammer Got Tattooed Near His Balls So He Wouldn't Cheat on His Wi (crüt), Saturday, 25 August 2018 23:21 (three months ago) Permalink

that doja cat moo song

crüt, Thursday, 30 August 2018 11:01 (three months ago) Permalink

oh come on, what young girl doesn't want to hear that they are worth more than every single gold chain, or hear the immortal words "you know I'm gonna smash it"

Paul Ponzi, Thursday, 30 August 2018 15:36 (three months ago) Permalink

Quick-skipped past this abortion on the SYTYCD finale:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRpZcFWJ_6A

DJI, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 05:49 (two months ago) Permalink

Immediately thought of

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-QT74bzHFQ

triggercut, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 06:30 (two months ago) Permalink

Lol

DJI, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 14:09 (two months ago) Permalink

two months pass...

here you are:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WN6zE-wJ2iE

niels, Tuesday, 13 November 2018 13:56 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Some d-bag turned one of my favorite Tom Waits songs into a Big Bad Voodoo Daddy outtake.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJgyklly4Ds

grawlix (unperson), Sunday, 18 November 2018 23:45 (three weeks ago) Permalink


“If you’re looking for lyrics, if you’re looking to cry, if you’re looking to think about life, don’t listen to hip-hop. There’s great hip-hop songs where they talk about life and they spit that real shit, but right now, there’s not a lot of people talking about real shit... Whenever I want to cry, whenever I want to sit down and have a nice cry, I’ll listen to some Bob Dylan. Or whenever I’m trying to have a good time and stay in a positive mood, I listen to hip-hop. Because it’s fun. I think hip-hop is important because it brings people together in a beautiful, happy way.”

― maura, Wednesday, January 3, 2018 10:35 AM (ten months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this is a very strange quote from post malone because, to me, his music is far from happy. it's like the paradigm of what mark fisher called depressive hedonia

Trϵϵship, Sunday, 18 November 2018 23:48 (three weeks ago) Permalink

not that i would expect post malone to be self aware but you know

Trϵϵship, Sunday, 18 November 2018 23:48 (three weeks ago) Permalink

haha, that tom waits cover is very bad

niels, Monday, 19 November 2018 08:36 (three weeks ago) Permalink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXBHCQYxwr0

i feel very sad that a certain subset of gay men on the internet think that this reads as the future of pop

dyl, Sunday, 25 November 2018 23:08 (two weeks ago) Permalink

woulda posted this earlier but i thought it had already gotten posted

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzD_yyEcp0M

dyl, Sunday, 25 November 2018 23:09 (two weeks ago) Permalink

woulda posted this earlier but i thought it had already gotten posted

📹


ugh this song is a fuckin scourge

maura, Monday, 26 November 2018 02:13 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Is Marshmello some kind of Deadmau5 knockoff(?)

my guitar friend wants his money (morrisp), Monday, 26 November 2018 03:02 (two weeks ago) Permalink

what if marshmello is actually just dr luke in a mask

dyl, Monday, 26 November 2018 04:21 (two weeks ago) Permalink

oh jk he's not actually one of those anonymity-gimmick djs anymore

dyl, Monday, 26 November 2018 04:22 (two weeks ago) Permalink

the "*OFFICIAL FRIENDZONE ANTHEM*" in the youtube vid title is just lol

dyl, Monday, 26 November 2018 04:23 (two weeks ago) Permalink

yikes that's poor

the sweet but psycho is also crap, #1 in Denmark atm, at least it channels a bit of early gaga

niels, Monday, 26 November 2018 15:56 (two weeks ago) Permalink

it's a bit too obvious for my taste

dyl, Monday, 26 November 2018 16:08 (two weeks ago) Permalink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACEKhljj5bk

heard this on vegas' modern rock station the other night

princess of hell (BradNelson), Monday, 26 November 2018 16:10 (two weeks ago) Permalink

protest the hero have really pivoted huh

resident hack (Simon H.), Monday, 26 November 2018 16:11 (two weeks ago) Permalink

if you really miss Rage that much why not just listen to them?

niels, Monday, 26 November 2018 16:15 (two weeks ago) Permalink

weirdly it sounded much worse surrounded by a bunch of indifferently heaped rock songs from the '70s '90s and today than it does in isolation rn

princess of hell (BradNelson), Monday, 26 November 2018 16:17 (two weeks ago) Permalink

I loved this band's first two records, and I was looking forward to their upcoming one, but this is some edgelord bullshit (it's musically cloddish and ugly as well):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yISltUDNHfY

Timothée Charalambides (cryptosicko), Thursday, 29 November 2018 02:48 (one week ago) Permalink

That Hyro the Hero thing is probably Whiney's favorite new song.

grawlix (unperson), Thursday, 29 November 2018 02:53 (one week ago) Permalink

Eric Clapton - Jingle Bells (In Memory Of Avicii).

Yes, really.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C95EvXD86J8

mike t-diva, Friday, 30 November 2018 15:28 (one week ago) Permalink

It's actually… not as egregiously awful as I thought it would be?

pomenitul, Friday, 30 November 2018 15:43 (one week ago) Permalink

a chance at least to update the old 'what did Eric Clapton do after he wrote Tears In Heaven' joke

still wackford after all these squeers (DJ Mencap), Friday, 30 November 2018 15:53 (one week ago) Permalink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3w-C0-zVaW8

ufo, Monday, 3 December 2018 15:33 (one week ago) Permalink

can someone direct me to info on the dissonance trend in contemporary pop? I hear it in not bad stuff as well, like Black Beatles

niels, Monday, 3 December 2018 16:50 (one week ago) Permalink

this isn't actually quiiite bad enough that i'd call it 'worst' anything but my goodness, i am astonished that anyone would actually try to have a breakthrough hit with this! the "love galore"-soundalike production, sza-type vocals on the verses and sevyn streeter-type vocals on the chorus, just reusing an entire chorus from an old hit verbatim without doing *anything* remotely ~clever~ with it. who thought this was a good idea? like damn, pick one wave to ride!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbftOENTCfo

dyl, Thursday, 6 December 2018 04:38 (four days ago) Permalink

"sweet but psycho" is currently #2 in the UK charts and I honestly think this is the point I will have to give up on pop music as a source of pleasure

boxedjoy, Sunday, 9 December 2018 11:07 (yesterday) Permalink


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