Alan McGee is making a phone call.
Alan: "Come on..."
Seconds tick by.
Alan: "He better be in..."
More seconds pass.
Alan: "Gillespie... get up ye lazy so-and-so... oh, right, hello, Bob, is that you?"
Boaby: "Whit the fuck, McGee, ye've woken me fae ma kip, man! Whit sorta time dae ye ca' this?"
Alan: "It's 2 o'clock in the afternoon, Bob."
Boaby: "Exactly! Whit a fuckin' liberty! Gettin' me oot ma scratcher at this fuckin' ungodly hour."
Alan: "Some of us have been up since 8 o'clock, Boab."
Boaby: "Since last night? Cool! Back oan the Chico again, McGee? Well done, wee man, well done."
Alan: "Naw... aw never mind, look I've got a favour to ask to you..."
Boaby "... aw right, here we go..."
Alan: "Look, never mind 'here we go', I've decided to relaunch Creation..."
Boaby (incredulously): "... whit, again! Here, man, maybe it's time to lay aff the cherlie for good noo, it's no' 1994 any mair (mumbling) and don't ah fuckin' know it..."
Alan: "It's no' a relaunch as such, it's a completely new label..."
Boaby (sotto voce): "... heard it..."
Alan: "What was that?"
Boaby: "Nu'hin', nu'hin', kerry oan, this is fuckin' fascinatin', so it is."
Alan (doubtfully): "Aye well... the label's to be called Creation23..."
Boaby: "... becuz it's the 23rd fuckin' relaunch o' Creation Records..."
Alan: "Not at all! 23 happens to be my lucky number."
Boaby (sniggering): "Aye, right, ah course it is. Well, here's hopin' it's luckier than numbers 2 tae 22 then."
Alan: "Listen, Gillespie, are you gonny take this seriously or what?"
Boaby: "Awright, awright, tell us aw aboot Creation23, ah'm aw ears."
Alan: "I want to put out records again. I’ve missed it, there’s a lot of good music around and it feels like a good time to do it. Twenty-three is my lucky number..."
Boaby: "... aye, ye said that awready..."
Alan: "So, my proposition to you is that the Scream record a single for Creation23."
*long silence*
Alan: "Ye still there, Bob?"
Boaby: "Ye wahnt us tae record sumhin' fer Creation29..."
Alan: "... 23..."
Boaby: "... whatever. Sorry, man, no can do."
Alan: "How no'?"
Boaby: "Well, how can ah put it... yer recent track record's no exactly the best."
Alan: "How do ye mean? I've been a record label owner, musician, manager, and music blogger for The Guardian. I am best known for co-founding and running the independent Creation Records label from 1983 to 1999, and the Poptones label from 1999 to 2007. I managed or championed successful acts such as The Jesus and Mary Chain, Primal Scream, My Bloody Valentine, Oasis, and The Libertines. I was also the lead singer and guitarist for the indie pop group Biff Bang Pow!, who were active from 1983-91."
Boaby: "Aye, but ye've done fuck aw fer fuckin' donkey's years".
Alan: "I object to that remark."
Boaby: "Object aw ye like but... for instance, see that boutique independent venue in the Welsh countryside, how's that workin' oot?"
Alan (sheepishly): "It's still finding its feet."
Boaby: "Findin' its fuckin' feet? Nae cunt knows whit it is or where it is! Whit's a boutique independent venue when it's at fuckin' hame?"
Alan: "Now hold on there..."
Boaby: "... haud oan nuthin', face it, Al, it's fuckin' 20 years since ye left Creation, naebdy's interested in Creation anymair, naebdy wahnt's tae hear aboot how ye discovered fuckin' Oasis at fuckin' King Tuts in Glesga..."
Alan: "... here that's a good story that is..."
Boaby: "... aye the first time, no' the thousandth time!"
Alan (hurt): "Aye, well it's 20 years since you last had a Top 10 hit, pal..."
Boaby (coolly) "... 12 actually, mate... and if that's the case whit ye askin' me tae be oan yer label fur?"
Alan: "Well, it's erm... partly for old time's sake, of course, uhhhhh... but also because you'll be sharing with some really exciting new talent."
Boaby: "Like who?"
Alan: "Well, to start off with there's Essex trio Rubber Jaw with their debut single ‘Feeling Funny’..."
*click*
Alan: "... hello? Hello? Bob? You still there? Bob? BOAB! BOABY! BOAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBBBBBBBB!"
― Father Ted in Forkhandles (Tom D.), Friday, 3 August 2018 14:08 (five years ago) link
Rubber Jaw started out with just Michael and Ross, who have been friends since school.
Ross says: "We both grew up in Elmstead Market and went to the Colne School in Brightlingsea where we were in the same form, and then the Sixth Form College, where we were also in the same form."
Which kind of makes you think the musical gods were trying to tell them something.
Michael adds: "Although we were in different bands, we played gigs together all the time, but this didn't happen until much later. Ross was away at uni and I was doing stuff for Tom Donovan at his studio in Rowhedge. When Ross would come back we would jam down there and the band kind of evolved from that."
It was after one particular productive session that Ross decided the new material was worth giving up university.
"It was something really different to what we were both used to doing," he continues. "I just wanted to give it a real go and see where we went with it."
But something was missing.
"Drums," Michael smiles. "Looking back now it was so obvious but at the time we really thought we could do this project without them."
Which is where Archie comes in.
Archie adds: "I had kind of given up music and was just working full time but then I caught what these guys were doing. I knew Michael's girlfriend and so I just contacted them and asked whether they needed a drummer and they did."
To see what all the fuss is about go and see the three-piece play Three Wise Monkeys, High Street, Colchester, on May 5 when other bands playing include Stealing Signs and The Witch Kids. Entry is £3 from 8pm on the top floor.