Where will you go to talk about music after you leave ilm for good?

realistically speaking nowhere

Ned’s house

http://www.dead.net/forum?intcmp=topnav/forums

Really drives home why I post to ILX

I dunno, going from ILM to Drowned in Sound, Hipinion or the Rateyourmusic forums seems to me to be like going from being in control of your bowels to shitting yourself at every given opportunity.

As for the retirement home (the Hoffman boards) - if many of the long-time ILM regulars stick around for long enough while younger music fans are posting elsewhere, ILM might just turn into one.

I was discouraged from talking about music several years back

I’ve tried taking about music on Twitter a little bit; but no one who follows me cares* (*about anything I say on any topic), so it’s just taking into a void. At least there are like-minded ppl here who can engage or ignore me as they see fit

imgur is the kind of community where every single day a post about a woman who falsely accused a man of rape goes viral

The question reminds me how much joy I felt to discover a former colleague (around a decade, maybe a decade and a half ago) liked Royksopp and wanted to talk about them at work.

I quite liked Royksopp.

As for the retirement home (the Hoffman boards) - if many of the long-time ILM regulars stick around for long enough while younger music fans are posting elsewhere, ILM might just turn into one.

Far too much shite about the Beatles and McCartney as it is.

"only allowed to post on imgur" would be a good purgatory for pricks on the internet, not that anyone here is a prick.

"not happening" option ?

absolutepunk morphed into chorus dot fm a few years ago. I'm on there. discussion isn't remotely on an ilx level, they only recently got out of their authenticity arguments about using non-guitar electronic instruments. they also only talk about emo and indie rock and bad rap. but there are a few really great posters there with good taste. it often surprises me

voting other, no44 bus stop on woodlands road

slsk chatrooms, was gonna say RIP but they still exist just nobody uses them anymore. I met my wife in one, but that was 16 years ago

the main problem for me is/remains that no one actually wants to talk about the music I want to talk about, so it is entirely a self-centered experience

is this poll supposed to be jokey or a commentary on ilm's current usefulness? or did i miss an announcement that it's going away.

srs q. i would miss ilm if it were gone.

wait when i read the question again, i think my fears are quelled

will be here until they wrench the ilm servers from my cold dead hands
forever grateful for the introduction to vwave

it's in reference to the "why do people leave" thread I think

irl: too much Beatles talk; kind of right-wing; a hundred billion galaxies, but we're banned from most of them

i think being able to say you met your wife in a slsk chatroom is the coolest thing ever

btw i continue to wait (in vain, certainly) for a slsk android client

the main problem for me is/remains that no one actually wants to talk about the music I want to talk about, so it is entirely a self-centered experience

― aloha darkness my old friend (katherine)

yeah it holding monologues about one's favorite music is not fun but i try to do it here anyway. if nobody else wants to talk about the music you like that's essentially their problem and nobody who's not an asshole will tell you to stop talking about the music you like.

i don't know. i already spend some time on rym forums, discord servers, reddit, blogs. i have one friend back in indiana i text occasionally simply because he's one of the only people i know i can actually talk music with. ilx is the best for music talk.

katherine otm

what's some music that you like that no one else wants to talk about, katherine and crut? i feel like you're both posters who i think of as having good taste... maybe we just missed some threads?

This place is great. Yeah people moan. But people moan about great things. People moan about the London Underground, but it's obviously great. Imagine trying to get around London without the tube.

ILX is a great resource. I was listening to Bootsy Collins earlier and wanted more. Where did I search? We're off to Bristol next month. Where did I search for pubs and restaurants?

i've started my fair share of ilm threads that got 0 replies... it's painful for sure. i'm no good music writer so it's hard for me to sell something and anything i write just reads corny to me. imo brad is really good at transmitting enthusiasm in a brief OP, and thats probably a big component of their success at turning us onto records we otherwise wouldn't have heard. i appreciate when others start threads and i think it's a public good (especially if it's something not concurrently being heavily covered by music media) so i trudge along

no options for leaving the house, like local bar or record store?

I lurk all over the internet looking for good ideas. If I could express myself better, I would post more.
This site is a good mix of trying to put things into broader contexts and the simple fandom of my favorite band rules, yours sucks.

there's a really good early nabisco post nails the impossibility of talking about music anywhere else than ilm

irl is an option

discord or something equivalently decentralized. ilm is the only public music chat I've ever enjoyed

my best friends all have great taste in music, but we all live in diff cities now. i have to accommodate a lot more normie-rockism with the people i talk to irl about music these days

this

the main problem for me is/remains that no one actually wants to talk about the music I want to talk about, so it is entirely a self-centered experience

― aloha darkness my old friend (katherine), Saturday, August 11, 2018 5:21 PM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

is otm for me but also

the main problem for me is/remains that no one actually wants to talk about the music

xposts steely dan obv

but for real i mostly just listen to ambient music and i don't really have the capacity to discuss stuff like that beyond "hey check out this thing that made me freak out when i heard it"

i'm no good music writer so it's hard for me to sell something and anything i write just reads corny to me.

yup, I definitely sympathize with this. when I try to drum up interest in an artist/release that most people here haven't heard, I end up sounding like a press release or a 5-star Amazon review. I guess there are only so many ways to say "this is good. I like it. maybe you guys would like it too". on the other hand I feel like I don't have anything original to say about music that's already on ilm's radar.

also it seems like 90% of the active discussions on ilm are centered on either new releases or acknowledged canon classics (whether it's the Rolling Stone canon or the alternative canon ilxors have constructed over the past 18 years). I'm bad at keeping up with new releases, so a lot of the time I'll get into a hyped album like 5 years after everyone else here has moved on, in which case it seems more dignified to lurk in the archives than to bump an old thread and be like, "hey, how bout that Huerco B album from 2013 that noone talks about anymore?" —but otoh the "classic" music I listen to isn't the kind of classic music most people here are interested in, so I feel left out of the St**ly D*n lovefest as well. I still find a lot to interest me here, but I'm mainly present as a lurker and/or low-effort novelty poster these days.

(er, Huerco S)

Starting threads about new music for me, best case scenario, is the lil peep thread.

So about 150 posts of arguing followed by what happens on the typical new music thread of ~4-12 responses

lol

I really like your threads/posts D-40!

xps to flopson and uh... unregistered:

This is is more or less how I feel too, but on the posting level. I post mainly on the rolling Afropop thread(s), because that’s the music I love, and listen to, the most - and that’s a niche thread with (ever) few(er) posters. The worst thing about it is the lack of feedback and interaction. Even when you/I try to write a bit instead of just posting links, there’s hardly any response, and especially when like me, you’re very insecure about your writing to begin with, that can be painful and disheartening. It holds me back on the occassions I think of starting a thread about someone or something (and frankly from posting too much on other threads as well).
As for alternatives: I’ve checked the afrobeats/Afropop threads on Reddit (I don’t know of any other currently active ones), but they’re dull as dishwater - just a few people dropping completely random links every once in a while, with zero interaction), so, to quote flopson, I trudge along here - more or less happily though, because there is still a lot to enjoy and discover in just following threads, even if the dwindling number of posters on ILM is extremely noticeable in the genres I’m interested in.

My favorite ILM activity is searching old threads and reading takes on things I've happened to discover since then. Of course, this also makes me nostalgic for old ILX

ive never read a steely dan thread on ilm

an issue is that the music I tend to REALLY get into at any particular point is probably random old stuff I've downloaded from soulseek, rather than new music, unless I'm writing about it; an issue is that writing is excruciating enough when I get paid for it, so writing long persuasive essays for free is even more so; an issue is I listen to mostly women; an issue, in general, is that my taste is just not shared by a lot of people since the same thing happens with books and the like.

but as far as new stuff, just going through my running best-of list, the new Ladytron is possibly my song of the year, either that or the Eleanor K track I posted in one of the rolling threads; the Little Boots EP is great and her growth as a musician is really quite rewarding; Jay-Jay Johanson and Sleep Thieves are both reliable in their own (very different ways), the She Makes War album is probably going to end up being a grower; that Josie Gross set I made a thread for is the best Tori Amos album in like 10 years; Anja Garbarek, Sofia Hardig, and Marie-Louise Munck both have pretty good new tracks. but even the more "consensus" stuff I like -- the US Girls, Roisin Murphy, Goldfrapp, etc. -- maybe has a couple posts of activity when the album comes out and that's it.

record stores intimidate the hell out of me and the stuff I like ends up in the 25-cent bin usually. as far as a local bar, uh, have you ever actually tried doing this, because the results are... not what you are suggesting. (note: this is probably way different for men)

*Josie Ghost, clearly Drew Barrymore is subconsciously in my head

see this is super good stuff to know, i like anja garbarek a lot and didn't know she had a new one out, it's really good!

ilm is by far the best music discussion board ive ever come across, so probably nowhere

xp -- it's really good! granted, it is square in the "I will love anything that sounds like this" zone, but it is very good, and no one is talking about it; I only found out about it via Spotify. (For all the endless shit Spotify takes because of the big bad evil algorithms, it's very good, possibly the only good place, for "oh shit I didn't know she had new music," particularly for artists that have disappeared from press/discussion. unless you sign up for a bunch of individual mailing lists, I guess.)

rolling afropop / afrobeats 2018

lay it off, autocorrect!

mostly a lurker here but I'll state for the record that the rolling threads are my favorite parts of ilm and rolling afropop is my favorite of the rollers, so like that's a double favorite

I'm also an afropop thread lurker, always wish I had more ideas/songs to contribute myself lol

same. thanks to those who post in there. my fav release this year rn is burna boy's 'outside'

xp -- I really don't know how people talk about music IRL besides having different taste than I do. like, a semi-regular occurrence when people find out I write about music is to either A) ask me what song's playing over the speakers if we're in public, and even if it's not a gotcha I still probably don't know what song it is, if I can even hear it clearly, or B) ask me who my favorite artist is. so then I say Kristin Hersh, because she's my favorite artist. and the reaction is "who's that?" so now I have to somehow get across like four decades of musical history before I can even get into why she's my favorite artist, and that makes for really shitty conversation for the person on the other end. or sometimes I try to pre-empt that by going reductive music press comparison style: "oh, they're kind of like the Breeders." but that's just such a reductive, shallow way to talk about it, and it makes me feel actively terrible doing it - - and half the time they don't know who they are either. (although this did prompt a kind of amazing "this is great"/"I am old" moment when a couple of people were talking on Facebook about going to their Prospect Park reunion show and someone else posted "wait, this is a band, I thought it was just a bunch of straight people fucking in the park")

basically, it's like you're doing a PhD in, I don't know, obscure 17th-century German literature, the topic is utterly fascinating to you and makes up a huge part of your intellectual and emotional life (best-case academia scenario here, clearly) and then you try to talk about it and someone goes "wait, what's Germany?" and there's this whole realm of potential conversation you just are never going to have. and of course, the people who ask are often dudes, and to most dudes any female musicians besides the obvious few might as well be obscure 17th-century German literature.

and this is one of the better scenarios, really, because what can also happen is being judged for my taste. or judged for my not sharing their taste, more often. like, I don't want to talk to people in record stores because I know for a fact that if they aren't judging me for being a woman in a record store then they're definitely doing so when they see what I buy -- I've seen enough Do Not Buy lists full of the music I love.

I have toyed with the idea of a Listening Club, but then I'd have to let weirdos like you all into my home. <3

Hell

katherine is correct -- being a music-liking woman talking about music irl is fraught with different pitfalls than it is for men. the nature of those pitfalls really depends more on the interlocutors themselves than the topic being discussed. i have found that occasionally people really engage with me and we have a lot to talk about and it's fun/interesting; other times it's like the random older (than me) man at a festival who asked me incredulously about knowing who Evan Parker was. i could be here all day with examples -- the details matter less than the general tenor of the interaction, which for me amounts to different flavors of "fraught" or "not-fraught/organic/comfortable"

there are some very special people who can talk about music irl and grant everyone they talk with the same level of courtesy and regard -- this is a gold standard to aim for imo, and i applaud those who can achieve it.

that said, the fraughtness being what it is,. there is literally no way i would invest anywhere near the amount of time in another music forum as i have in ilm. it would be too energy- and time-consuming. that is why i am never leaving. lol.

xps

Wow, everybody, I’m very glad to hear that!

I guess that’s how it goes in these kinds of threads, though. rob had been running the Rolling Dancehall threads almost singlehandedly for years until longneck showed up, and I duly took his recommendations and put them in my dancehall playlist, without ever posting so much as a “this one is great” (well, maybe once or twice), because I didn’t feel enough of an “expert” to contribute anything of interest.

I guess he’s a stronger man than I am, though. I’m not even the only poster on the Afropop thread, but the lack of feedback is real and I find it hard to deal with sometimes. Like, seriously, no one feels one way or another about this awesome music?

So yeah, I’m really happy that doesn’t really seem to be the case. Still, I’m always curious about how people feel about the tracks that are posted, and curious about other people’s favourites as well.

Is Ned's house invitation-only or can we all just go to Ned's house?

If the latter, I vote for that.

Sadly, I must ask you to reconsider. It might get crowded.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/b9/Itmightgetloud.PNG

x-post--- Yes, Rob has been doing a great job on the dancehall thread and contributing to soca and afropop/afrobeats as well.

I barely talk about music here anymore so the question is moot.

Well, that is not quite true, but I try to stick to some of the more narrowcast threads and avoid the ones that tend to become Big Brawls if I can help it.

I talked endlessly about music with my friends through the '70s. That continued through the '80s and '90s, and around '85 I started writing about it. Didn't write much after 2000, still talked a little; most of my music talk was in class and kind of one-way. Hardly ever talk about music with friends anymore, still talk about it in class, post semi-regularly on ILM, write about music once a year, in December. When I retire this year, the class talk will stop, the rest will continue sporadically.

I have no compulsion to talk about music anymore, in any venue. I still feel motivated to talk about baseball and films. Not music.

that said, the fraughtness being what it is,. there is literally no way i would invest anywhere near the amount of time in another music forum as i have in ilm. it would be too energy- and time-consuming. that is why i am never leaving. lol.

well, to be fair, it's two separate issues -- the fraughtness, and the fact that the music I listen to is simply not music that a lot of people care about. there's overlap, in that female artists tend to fall through those cracks more often, even with women, but it's not exactly the same thing. does have the same result, though

there's definitely a significant contingent of men whose response to meeting a woman who knows who evan parker (or whoever) is "omg marry me", which tends to make actually discussing evan parker slightly more challenging

I am by no means the most active ILM participant, but it is pretty much the only place I do any talking about music these days. I still have a few friends where much of my relationships with them has entered around talking about music, but between moving away to do my PhD and being absorbed in that, I don't get to communicate with them as much these days (my one friend will still text me on occasion re: a new album by an artist we both like; most recently, I've received "what do you think about the new ______?" texts re: Chvrches and Courtney Barnett within a week of their releases). It's more the case, though, that I'm just not as interested in talking about music these days, which may have as much to do with my tastes remaining stagnant/focused on the past these days than they once were. While out with some of my husband's colleagues a month or so ago, Cardi B (who I haven't paid much attention to) and Childish Gambino's "This is America" video (which I hadn't seen yet) both came up, and I had little to add to the conversation. Call it a sign of aging, but I'm just not engaged enough with what's going on in what's going on in music these days to want to talk much about it anymore.

I've gotten that maybe once or twice, I don't think the dude meant anything malicious by it and they definitely handled it well when I said I wasn't interested. the fraughtness I'm more concerned with is "you haven't heard of/don't like _____? wow, you're an idiot/fake music fan," whether stated or unstated

xp
aw thanks for that, breastcrawl and curmudgeon--I likewise value your efforts in maintaining extremely useful threads that lately I've mostly lurked on. It can definitely suck posting a lot to minimal reaction, and afrobeats especially is super vital and exciting right now. I've made my peace with dancehall not getting on most people's radar these days, but Wizkid should be like 2002 Sean Paul right now.

Hi eeyore :)

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

the fraughtness I'm more concerned with is "you haven't heard of/don't like _____? wow, you're an idiot/fake music fan," whether stated or unstated

― aloha darkness my old friend (katherine), Monday, August 13, 2018 6:52 PM (three days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this post turned out to be incredibly prescient

but who am I to talk, I'm just a troll apparently

Have stet or co announced when ilx is shutting down or what

when I leave ilx I won't be talking about music

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

good q

periodically irl? :(

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyQJXkj-wY8

more valid than ever

xp to crüt (originally)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oxe4mlsQos

hipinion noticed this poll, but their discussion inevitably went off on a tangent about the meteoric rise of Fishmans

ftr hipinion hasn't been culturally relevant since they started their Lewis 'L'amour' megathread in 2013, whereas ilxor hasn't been culturally relevant since [???????????}

in the interim since this poll closed i've decided to shift from boring people to death by talking about the records i like to boring people to death by talking about my gender dysphoria

which is good news because there are at least a couple dozen forums where everyone is 22 and has a drawing of themselves but if they were an anime girl as an avatar

I mostly just bore my wife with music talk, although I also manage to recommend her stuff she likes, so it's all good.

My friends aren't very adventurous when it comes to music. For whatever reason, this has been a staple of my existence as far back as I can remember. I've never met a true obsessive irl.

Last night, I was taking to a “rock guy” about music at a bar. When I mentioned that I mainly listen to pop and R&B these days, I got these responses:

* “That R&B must use a lot of auto-tune, huh?”

* “I heard Ryan Adam’s cover of Taylor Swift’s 1989, and decided to try listening to the original album, pretending that it was by a new indie artist or something. I didn’t hate it; those are some pretty good songs.”

He also delivered a take on modern hip-hop which I won’t repeat here (he contrasted it to the ‘90s rap that he loves); though to his credit, he prefaced it by admitting he was largely ignorant on the topic.

Anyway... taking about music IRL can be a trip.

Trip or trap? “Trip trap, trip trap,” said the troll. “Who’s that trip-trapping over my bridge?”

It is a trip! I recently learned that a guy I know wasn’t aware of Sassy magazine! Unless he was messing with me, which I guess is possible but cruel and not in character, I’d assume he was being sincere. I explained! I like when people are honest about things they don’t know about. That’s part of the joy of talking about music irl imo. The other part is mostly about talking with people irl.

Learning about things from people is enjoyable as well — the sharing of knowledge in general

I like when people are honest about things they don’t know about

otm about learning and knowledge.

i mostly know sassy magazine through their association with ian svenonius

I subscribed to Jane magazine for a few years as a young single guy (late ‘90s).

My older sister had many issues of Sassy, and like any reading material she brought to the house, I read it too.

Was Sassy the one that used to have "Cute Band Alert"?
My younger sister also had a subscription, and I did find myself leafing through the copies more than I would've ever admitted to my friends at school.

For years I thought Sassy magazine was just a made-up thing from that SNL sketch with Phil Hartman.

In fact, you could say it was a thing I was shockingly old when I learned

at the very least it's a conversation starter! while i was out that night, i asked a few more people if they were aware of Sassy magazine (then and/or now) and one guy learned about it via Rookie. ya never know! this is why talking with people is enjoyable. it's not a competition.

Was Sassy the one that used to have "Cute Band Alert"?
yes
also "sassiest boy in america" (ian svenonius was the inaugural winner iirc), tutorials for making your own clothes and other DIY stuff, cover stories about girls who do cool things, diverse models. a total departure from girl mags of the time. it was a real template for what we recognize as modern girlhood (diverse, confident, independent, DIY) it came up because i was talking about making collaged flyers with my class by cutting up old magazines and i bragged that i had every issue of sassy but they're in a pile at my parents' house. my brag was useless though bc this person wasn't aware of sassy. the end.

anyway as far as talking about music is concerned, i recommend a perennial classic: going to shows and talking with people.

I recently learned that a guy I know wasn’t aware of Sassy magazine!

How old is he? I've never heard of it but then again I was born in the mid-80s and have never knowingly bought a music magazine.

i wouldn't have brought it up if he were very much older or younger than me -- he's about 4 years younger than i am iirc?
i used to guzzle music magazines, it was all there was!