Q – The 50 Worst Albums Ever!

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From Q238 – May 2006

Choose the worst album from this list

Poll Results

OptionVotes
11. Limp Bizkit – Chocolate Starfish And The Hot Dog Flavored Water 8
46. Oasis – Standing On The Shoulders Of Giants 4
26. Vanilla Ice – Hard To Swallow 4
36. Kula Shaker – Peanuts, Pigs & Astronauts 3
9. Westlife – Allow Us To Be Frank 2
13. Bruce Willis – The Return Of Bruno 2
30. Michael Jackson – Invincible 2
34. Fishspooner - #1 2
25. The Cranberries – To The Faithful Departed 2
19. Goldie – Saturnz Return 1
21. The Clash – Cut The Crap 1
22. Robson & Jerome – Robson & Jerome 1
18. Crazy Frog – Crazy Hits 1
39. Big Country – Undercover 1
16. Spice Girls – Forever 1
44. Kiss – Music From The Elder 1
45. William Shatner – The Transformed Man 1
20. Mariah Cary – Glitter OST 1
35. Puff Daddy – Forever 1
4. Lou Reed – Metal Machine Music 1
2. Spice Girls – All Their Solo Albums! 1
40. The Others – The Others 1
37. Shania Twain – Come On Over 0
41. Paul Simon – Songs From The Capeman OST 0
42. Babylon Zoo – The Boy With The X-Ray Eyes 0
43. The Travelling Wilburys – Vol 3 0
38. Chris Rea – The Road To Hell Pt2 0
47. Ozzy Osbourne – Under Cover 0
48. Milli Vanilli – All Or Nothing 0
49. Neil Young And The Shocking Pinks – Everybody’s Rocking 0
50. Beck – Midnight Vultures 0
33. Billy Ray Cyrus – Some Gave All 0
32. Ace Of Bass – The Sign 0
5. Billy Idol – Cyberpunk 0
6. Naomi Campbell – Babywoman 0
8. Mick Jagger – Primitive Cool 0
10. Tim Machine – Tin Machine Ii 0
12. Tom Jones – Mr Jones 0
1. Duran Duran – Thank You 0
14. Terence Trent Diabolical – Neither Fish Nor Flesh 0
15. Various – Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Heart Club Band – OST 0
17. Bob Dylan & The Grateful Dead – Dylan And The Dead 0
23. Alanis Morissette – Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie 0
24. Lauryn Hill – MTV Unpugged 2.0 0
7. Kevin Rowland – My Beauty 0
27. Destiny’s Child – Destiny Fulfilled 0
28. The Rolling Stones – Dirty Work 0
29. Various – Christmas In The Stars: Star Wars Christmas Album 0
31. Stevie Wonder – Woman In Red 0
3. Various – Urban Renewal: The Songs Of Phil Collins 0


Thus Spoke Darraghustra (Oor Neechy), Saturday, 10 August 2019 14:26 (two months ago) link

Saturnz Return? Fuck off.Anything with Chico, Death of a Rock Star on it cannot be on this list

the article don, Saturday, 10 August 2019 14:29 (two months ago) link

Terence Trent Diabolical?

omar little, Saturday, 10 August 2019 14:29 (two months ago) link

I dont know if that was how Q posted it or rocklist.net

Thus Spoke Darraghustra (Oor Neechy), Saturday, 10 August 2019 14:34 (two months ago) link

SHOULDER

husserl gang (rip van wanko), Saturday, 10 August 2019 14:37 (two months ago) link

several good records on here

american bradass (BradNelson), Saturday, 10 August 2019 14:37 (two months ago) link

Ace of Bass woulda been a good Miami hip hop act

i'd rather zing like a man, than FP like a coward (Neanderthal), Saturday, 10 August 2019 14:38 (two months ago) link

I liked some of the Kevin Rowland album actually.

Thus Spoke Darraghustra (Oor Neechy), Saturday, 10 August 2019 14:41 (two months ago) link

this is basically the "shit you saw in the CD Warehouse clearance bin" list then

i'd rather zing like a man, than FP like a coward (Neanderthal), Saturday, 10 August 2019 14:45 (two months ago) link

Emma Bunton's bossa album was quite nice, you fuckers.

Johnny Fever, Saturday, 10 August 2019 14:47 (two months ago) link

Shania? Fuck off man

Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Saturday, 10 August 2019 14:48 (two months ago) link

Lads, lads, it's Q

seven against feebs (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 10 August 2019 14:49 (two months ago) link

enjoying how they couldn't be bothered to spell several groups' names right

i'd rather zing like a man, than FP like a coward (Neanderthal), Saturday, 10 August 2019 14:49 (two months ago) link

Lauryn Hill's Unplugged is a stunner. And Midnite Vultures is still my favorite Beck album.

Johnny Fever, Saturday, 10 August 2019 14:49 (two months ago) link

Not sure i like this new betting advert with noodle vague

Thus Spoke Darraghustra (Oor Neechy), Saturday, 10 August 2019 14:50 (two months ago) link

Q can fuck off

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Saturday, 10 August 2019 14:52 (two months ago) link

d'you know i assumed it had

seven against feebs (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 10 August 2019 14:53 (two months ago) link

I'd rather listen to quite a few of these than loads of the "greatest albums".

calzino, Saturday, 10 August 2019 14:57 (two months ago) link

What the hell are Saturnz Return & Midnight Vultures doing on here

The World According To.... (Michael B), Saturday, 10 August 2019 15:05 (two months ago) link

POLL: The 50 Worst Issues of Q Ever!

just another country (snoball), Saturday, 10 August 2019 15:31 (two months ago) link

did midnite vultures get really bad reviews? Or just in Q?

Thus Spoke Darraghustra (Oor Neechy), Saturday, 10 August 2019 15:43 (two months ago) link

Q thought it was shit on the grounds that it wasn't Odelay, IIRC.

just another country (snoball), Saturday, 10 August 2019 15:44 (two months ago) link

All Their Solo Albums!

ufo, Saturday, 10 August 2019 15:52 (two months ago) link

wow so edgy...

just another country (snoball), Saturday, 10 August 2019 15:55 (two months ago) link

The 50 Lowest Hanging Fruit Ever!

Herman Woke (cryptosicko), Saturday, 10 August 2019 16:27 (two months ago) link

Neil's Everybody’s Rocking is a good choice, although it does have "Wonderin'"--Landing on Water would have been even better.

clemenza, Saturday, 10 August 2019 16:30 (two months ago) link

Where's Pat Boone's In a Metal Mood

i'd rather zing like a man, than FP like a coward (Neanderthal), Saturday, 10 August 2019 16:31 (two months ago) link

The advantage of coming to Neil in the 90s: I skipped all those crap 80s records.

Herman Woke (cryptosicko), Saturday, 10 August 2019 16:34 (two months ago) link

Good timing--but you don't want to miss the first couple (or first three; would be quite content without the third one myself) or the last one.

clemenza, Saturday, 10 August 2019 16:37 (two months ago) link

24. The Beatles - The White Album

Hmmm, can't say I agree with this choice!

hot dog go to bathroom (cajunsunday), Saturday, 10 August 2019 16:55 (two months ago) link

xp

Right! Didn't mean to lump Freedom in with the bad ones; always think of it as the beginning of his '90s comeback, even if its a few months off from being technically true. The bits of Trans ("Transformer Man," "Sample and Hold") are interesting. I'll give Hawks & Doves and Re·ac·tor a spin one of these days.

I grabbed Lucky Thirteen out of a cut-out bin a number of years back and, the Trans selections aside, it basically confirmed everything I've heard about Neil in the 80s.

Herman Woke (cryptosicko), Saturday, 10 August 2019 17:20 (two months ago) link

I like LOW more than his other eighties albums, obv choices aside.

Not a great record, though.

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, 10 August 2019 17:29 (two months ago) link

My intro to Neil Young was "This Note's For You," so when I found out he had a long respected history of music behind him and, eventually, a long respected future, I couldn't figure it out.

Johnny Fever, Saturday, 10 August 2019 18:00 (two months ago) link

The only ones I've heard in full are Lou Reed, Destiny's Child, Beck, and Shania Twain, none of which I thought were bad, and the first and third of which I really like. I will say that I like "No One Needs to Know" a lot more than anything on Come On Over.

All along there is the sound of feedback (Sund4r), Saturday, 10 August 2019 18:01 (two months ago) link

Come On Over was a nuisance at the time, but I might feel charitable enough now to give it a fresh listen. I still don’t like the two big singles, though.

Herman Woke (cryptosicko), Saturday, 10 August 2019 18:07 (two months ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRgrJgCBY6k

This is great

Hannah GAPDY (Whiney G. Weingarten), Saturday, 10 August 2019 18:32 (two months ago) link

I found "Neither Fish nor Flesh" in a charity shop so I got it.

It's a fine album. I had a cassette edition back in the day (probably still do) and it seemed a bit hit/miss, but now it all seemed fine.

Mark G, Saturday, 10 August 2019 18:34 (two months ago) link

I bet no one writing this piece had ever actually heard the Naomi Campbell album.

piscesx, Saturday, 10 August 2019 20:19 (two months ago) link

Every time I read this list it makes me more angry, who was responsible for this?

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Saturday, 10 August 2019 20:23 (two months ago) link

"Terence Trent Diabolical" aaaaagh go fucking die you tedious pricks

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Saturday, 10 August 2019 20:24 (two months ago) link

It's lazy crap. Neither Fish Nor Flesh underperformed but got terrific reviews, dunno who's recycling early 90s tedium on the editorials taff.

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, 10 August 2019 20:28 (two months ago) link

dunno who's recycling early 90s tedium on the editorials taff.


Are you familiar with this publication?

YouGov to see it (wins), Saturday, 10 August 2019 20:32 (two months ago) link

This list is bad in exactly the same way that the razzies are bad

YouGov to see it (wins), Saturday, 10 August 2019 20:35 (two months ago) link

What did Q have against Fischerspooner? Or is Fishspooner some kind of Mark Radcliffe-type spoof band or something

Colonel Poo, Saturday, 10 August 2019 20:36 (two months ago) link

That list is tldr;

Another Fule Clickin’ In Your POLL (James Redd and the Blecchs), Saturday, 10 August 2019 20:38 (two months ago) link

MIdnight Vultures is bad but it's hardly the worst album ever. same with Dylan and the Dead (it's just boring), Wilburys, Fishcerspooner, Goldie...a few others. Tin machine 2 is a great album (at least the songs Bowie sings). First glance I want to give this to the Sgt Pepper soundtrack but that has a slamming version of Come together by Aerosmith on it. Most of this shit I have never listened to (like Primative Cool).Of the albums I've actually heard I'd have to give it to the Duran Duran cover album.

akm, Saturday, 10 August 2019 20:52 (two months ago) link

I'll give Hawks & Doves and Re·ac·tor a spin one of these days.

Got mashed potato...

Euripedes' Trousers (Tom D.), Saturday, 10 August 2019 21:02 (two months ago) link

The Sign actually has a couple good dance cuts on it: Dancer in a Daydream and In My Mind (Mindless Mix).

I do consider this the most destructive record. In My Mind contains a loud, reverse kick drum that will blow out your speakers. I blew out one of my mom's speakers bumping this CD over 25 years ago, and I blew out my subwoofer more recently on the MP3.

I can't think of any other record that will mess up your system quite like this one.

3×5, Saturday, 10 August 2019 21:43 (two months ago) link

Wtf Neil Young collaborated with Shocking Pinks? Random.

Interesting that Fischerspooner is on here. People really hate that record? I didn't get the appeal when it came out. It was marketed as part of the Electroclash, early 80s throwback scene but it always sounded early 90s to me, like a Thrill Kill Kult record. That record does kind of suck, but I'm surprised it was considered one of the worst ever.

3×5, Saturday, 10 August 2019 21:49 (two months ago) link

critics may have felt that way, I don't think listeners did. I saw fischerspooner twice and it was fucking packed.

akm, Saturday, 10 August 2019 22:03 (two months ago) link

I bet no one writing this piece had ever actually heard the Naomi Campbell album.

tbf I'm not sure Naomi Campbell even heard the album. Wasn't it notorious for only selling about 100 copes in its first week?

Thus Spoke Darraghustra (Oor Neechy), Saturday, 10 August 2019 22:07 (two months ago) link

This is a ridiculously lazy list. Also, Metal Machine Music is the only good Lou Reed album.

shared unit of analysis (unperson), Saturday, 10 August 2019 22:15 (two months ago) link

Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie was a hit album that got positive reviews and a few Grammy nominations, so by those metrics alone I am skeptical that it is one of the 50 worst ever.

60... 90... 120 Minute IPA (morrisp), Saturday, 10 August 2019 22:49 (two months ago) link

It’s was an ambitious-in-the-sense-of-imposing album (17 songs in 72 mins) and it was the follow-up to an album that was inescapable for several years (was it her New Jersey?), and thus a convenient target.

Herman Woke (cryptosicko), Saturday, 10 August 2019 22:53 (two months ago) link

*jerkoff motion*

dyl, Saturday, 10 August 2019 23:05 (two months ago) link

Metal Machine Music, which may or may not be the best Lou Reed album as I don't care enough to hear the rest of his output.

pomenitul, Saturday, 10 August 2019 23:08 (two months ago) link

i mean yeah on the one hand obviously grrrrrrrr Q magazine

but on the other hand

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZQWyImkkU0

fucking hell

Windsor Davies, Saturday, 10 August 2019 23:19 (two months ago) link

i can only imagine the reasoning offered for deeming a phil collins covers album by then-contemporary r&b artists the third worst lp in the history of recorded sound. i haven't heard the whole record, but if deborah cox's version of "something happened on the way to heaven" and brandy + ray j's version of "another day in paradise" off of it are anything to go by, it's probably a collection of well-performed but perfunctorily arranged renditions by an overall talented group of artists whose admiration of collins's work is entirely natural and unremarkable. it wasn't even that well-known or successful a release so it's truly bizarre to see it singled out as especially worthy of derision or mockery, as if it were recorded in poor taste or inherently ridiculous.

dyl, Saturday, 10 August 2019 23:35 (two months ago) link

(cox's version of "something happened..." from that record also got remixed into a trancey house version that is something of a classic in my book)

dyl, Saturday, 10 August 2019 23:36 (two months ago) link

Metal Machine Music, which may or may not be the best Lou Reed album as I don't care enough to hear the rest of his output.

We're supposed to vote for worst, though! MMM is great!

All along there is the sound of feedback (Sund4r), Saturday, 10 August 2019 23:42 (two months ago) link

xp to dyl

safe to assume that the majority of Q's '50 Worst Albums Ever' is gonna be better (or at the very least more interesting) than Q's '50 Best Albums Ever', really not worth getting worked up over. these people never had even a passing acquaintance with interesting music of the day, let alone 'the history of recorded sound' (which only began in 1963 for these bozos)

with that said, get that 2004 s/t album by The Others up on youtube and give it a spin, seriously. even a stopped clock etc. etc.

Windsor Davies, Saturday, 10 August 2019 23:49 (two months ago) link

I have never heard of The Others before

Thus Spoke Darraghustra (Oor Neechy), Sunday, 11 August 2019 00:15 (two months ago) link

my sincerest apologies for bringing the curse down upon you

Windsor Davies, Sunday, 11 August 2019 00:27 (two months ago) link

well, luckily I still haven't heard them.

Thus Spoke Darraghustra (Oor Neechy), Sunday, 11 August 2019 00:32 (two months ago) link

coward

Windsor Davies, Sunday, 11 August 2019 00:35 (two months ago) link

they look libertines-ish do they sound like them?

Thus Spoke Darraghustra (Oor Neechy), Sunday, 11 August 2019 00:38 (two months ago) link

I listened to about 2 minutes of that song above and it's not bad, it's just...generic. The "indie" bands people liked from that era sound exactly like that to me.

shared unit of analysis (unperson), Sunday, 11 August 2019 00:59 (two months ago) link

xp hang on though

you initiated this poll

do you mean to say that

Windsor Davies, Sunday, 11 August 2019 01:00 (two months ago) link

The worst album I can think of by a significant artist is Liz Phair’s Funstyle... it’s the worst album I ever paid for, and probably worse than most or all of this list.

60... 90... 120 Minute IPA (morrisp), Sunday, 11 August 2019 01:04 (two months ago) link

yeah, good pick.

why is there no Dream Theater on this list? That shit is terrible.

akm, Sunday, 11 August 2019 01:37 (two months ago) link

or like, one of the 500 Asia albums that don't feature Geoff Downes or John Wetton

akm, Sunday, 11 August 2019 01:38 (two months ago) link

i've heard the second scott stapp solo record, that's probably one of the worst albums, top 50 idk

american bradass (BradNelson), Sunday, 11 August 2019 01:42 (two months ago) link

albeit unless these listmakers were psychics that record would fall outside the purview of this list

american bradass (BradNelson), Sunday, 11 August 2019 01:43 (two months ago) link

I actually dont really mind Everybody's Rockin as generic 50s pastiche, the fact that its by the talented guitarist and songwriter Neil Young is obviously a mark against it, but its not any more unlistenable than like some random-ass Eddie Cochrane comp or something.

Midnite Vultures is the only truly WTF entry on that list imo but not surprised t of ind it there I guess, its truly hilarious to remember how much hate it got at the time from the whitebread rock press.

“Hakuna Matata,” a nihilist philosophy (One Eye Open), Sunday, 11 August 2019 02:25 (two months ago) link

Q gave it 4 out of 5.

visiting, Sunday, 11 August 2019 02:37 (two months ago) link

No shit? Thats really funny - I wonder if there are other albums on that list that Q rated highly.

I know MV got a lot of praise too and a grammy nom & stuff but I feel like I definitely read a bunch of reviews from rock dudes that basically boiled down to "why is this white rock guy doing prince stuff, wtf"

“Hakuna Matata,” a nihilist philosophy (One Eye Open), Sunday, 11 August 2019 02:45 (two months ago) link

(picks one at random) ... they also gave Babylon Zoo 4 out of 5.

visiting, Sunday, 11 August 2019 03:01 (two months ago) link

Midnite Vultures is a terrible album, Q otm

brimstead, Sunday, 11 August 2019 03:53 (two months ago) link

It was so bad when it came
Out it started one of the first arguments I ever had with a friend of mine, who maintained everything beck touched was genius.

akm, Sunday, 11 August 2019 04:16 (two months ago) link

oh dear I listened to The Others, cheers lads

seven against feebs (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 11 August 2019 07:05 (two months ago) link

only a bunch of boring cloth-eared cunts that have repped heavy for shit like Travis and Coldplay would consider MMM in a worst ever list.

calzino, Sunday, 11 August 2019 07:29 (two months ago) link

We're supposed to vote for worst, though! MMM is great!

Damn, I'm a dunce.

pomenitul, Sunday, 11 August 2019 08:04 (two months ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iT9yf-Qa_1M&t

this is one of the best moments of Rowland's career (and the rest of the album ain't bad either)

Number None, Sunday, 11 August 2019 08:14 (two months ago) link

second time lucky

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iT9yf-Qa_1M

Number None, Sunday, 11 August 2019 08:17 (two months ago) link

far be it from me to guess why the Jeremy Clarkson of music magazines might dislike that album and most of the rest of these

seven against feebs (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 11 August 2019 08:23 (two months ago) link

Whatever, I fucking love Midnight Vultures.

octobeard, Monday, 12 August 2019 03:41 (two months ago) link

28. The Rolling Stones – Dirty Work

not even the worst stones album, let alone of all time

the public eating of beans (Sparkle Motion), Monday, 12 August 2019 05:49 (two months ago) link

yeah but they're wearing lame suits on the cover

american bradass (BradNelson), Monday, 12 August 2019 05:51 (two months ago) link

Albums on this list that I like:

1. Duran Duran – Thank You

Certainly not among DD's best and it has some goofy moments (the spoken word bit in I Wanna Take You Higher is pretty ridiculous) but it's a decent cover album - there's enough good stuff on it.

10. Tim Machine – Tin Machine Ii

Not sure about that album by mr Machine, first name Tim, but as far as Tin Machine II goes, that one I think is really quite good. It's got Shopping For Girls, Amlapura & much more, I personally prefer it over the first Tin Machine album.

36. Kula Shaker – Peanuts, Pigs & Astronauts

The band gets a lot of hate in general, I can't see why. Their first four albums are all great - Peasants, Pigs & Astronauts being one of those (or did they make a 'Peanuts' remix album...)

41. Paul Simon – Songs From The Capeman OST

I can imagine that this album either grabs you or not at all (Paul Simon mixes up salsa & doo-wop together with Ruben Blades and Marc Anthony), but I love this one. 'Born In Puerto Rico' is stunningly gorgeous, it's far from the only gem on here.

I can also enjoy listening to Neil Young's rockin' album; Oasis' SOTSOG is certainly their worst but it's got a couple of excellent songs on it.

Valentijn, Monday, 12 August 2019 06:53 (two months ago) link

the Jeremy Clarkson of music magazines

lol

The World According To.... (Michael B), Monday, 12 August 2019 07:55 (two months ago) link

Dirty Work is a good, often great Stones album despite the cover.

TM II is on this list because the editors thought, "lol Tin Machine and lime green suits."

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 12 August 2019 11:03 (two months ago) link

I remember tin machine ii getting terrible reviews

Thus Spoke Darraghustra (Oor Neechy), Monday, 12 August 2019 14:16 (two months ago) link

10. Tim Machine – Tin Machine Ii

Not sure about that album by mr Machine, first name Tim, but as far as Tin Machine II goes, that one I think is really quite good. It's got Shopping For Girls, Amlapura & much more, I personally prefer it over the first Tin Machine album.

36. Kula Shaker – Peanuts, Pigs & Astronauts

The band gets a lot of hate in general, I can't see why. Their first four albums are all great - Peasants, Pigs & Astronauts being one of those (or did they make a 'Peanuts' remix album...)

― Valentijn, Monday, August 12, 2019 1:53 AM (four days ago)

Who knew positivity could be so hilarious! This inspired me to check out each of these records. As for this entry:

34. Fishspooner - #1

While I've yet to really swim the ocean of this entire album, "Emerge" by Fischerspooner is pretty awesome. This mityped band name reminded me of a dinner party I had amidst the Electroclash era, where the passing around of a plate of salmon and a large serving utensil led a guest to ask my friend "Will you be the fish-er spooner?", which he replied, "Only if you pour the Larry tea."

Ayyyy-O!

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Monday, 19 August 2019 00:01 (one month ago) link

All “Worst album ever” lists are terrible.

Mr. Snrub, Monday, 19 August 2019 00:46 (one month ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Tuesday, 20 August 2019 00:01 (one month ago) link

SHOULDER

― husserl gang (rip van wanko), Saturday, August 10, 2019 10:37 AM

otm

mookieproof, Tuesday, 20 August 2019 02:19 (one month ago) link

"Will you be the fish-er spooner?", which he replied, "Only if you pour the Larry tea."

i don’t get it

Stub yr toe on the yacht rock (morrisp), Tuesday, 20 August 2019 02:35 (one month ago) link

I don't know how I missed this altogether. Putting Midnite Vultures, Saturnzreturn (and I get swatted for it every time I say it but I'll still say again that I think I prefer it to Timeless) and Metal Machine Music on a 'worst albums of all-time' list is a fairly succinct way of stating that you're an unserious publication, I guess, if that's what you're going for, Q.

Amply Drizzled with Pure Luxury (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 20 August 2019 12:04 (one month ago) link

Hawks & Doves is great, side 1 is actually 70s stuff intended for the scuttled Homegrown album, includes Captain Kennedy

Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 20 August 2019 13:48 (one month ago) link


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