Audioslave

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Do not know if this has already inspired a thread but...seeing the 1.7 Pitchfork rating, I'm sure it would only be a matter of time (note: I do NOT work for the so-called "anti-Pitchfork" faction/agenda of ILM, however, so I'm not anticipating that this turn into another anti-P thread; if it does it'll just be icing on the cake, that's all).

I hate the name of this "band." But I like "Cochise" and the insufferably garish video courtesy of Mr. Romanek. Do you? I am curious if the rest of the album is truly as bad as some publications have made it out to be, but as I might be picking this up tonight we shall see. Either way, Chris Cornell's haircut is still sexier than yours.

― V or maybe Vee, Saturday, 30 November 2002 06:36 (twenty-three years ago)

Actually, the P-fork dorks probably do deserve to be bashed, if only for this one:

"And all I can picture is Cornell high-fiving Rick Rubin and hitting the beach to play volleyball with Creed."

hardy har har! And it only took TWO writers (-Chris Dahlen & Ryan Schreiber, November 26th, 2002) to come up withat dat one|!!

― V or maybe Vee, Saturday, 30 November 2002 06:38 (twenty-three years ago)

The Pitchfork review reminded me of their Andrew WK review. It seemed like they planned it as an assassination piece from the get go, before they even heard the record. "Cochise" sounds pretty solid to me, although I can't speak for the rest of the record. If the rest of the record sounds anything like "Cochise", I can't see how the record deserves anything less than a 5, no matter what rubric (sp?) you're using.

― polyphonic (polyphonic), Saturday, 30 November 2002 06:41 (twenty-three years ago)

withat dat one|!!

i love how everytime i'm trying to point out flaws in someone/thing else, i commit grevious spelling errors.

actually, i hate it

― V or maybe Vee, Saturday, 30 November 2002 06:58 (twenty-three years ago)

The bits about sounding like Simple Minds and "Walk This Way" are clearly meant to degrade the record, but they only make me want to hear it more. I love "Cochise".

― edward o (edwardo), Saturday, 30 November 2002 12:03 (twenty-three years ago)

I would never be caught listening to anything called Audioslave.

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Saturday, 30 November 2002 12:27 (twenty-three years ago)

Exactly, they are called Audioslave and therefore, like P/Fork, I'm going to completley ignore them.

― DavidM (DavidM), Saturday, 30 November 2002 14:37 (twenty-three years ago)

I didn't want to start a new thread on this, but while we're on the topic: I don't think they quite "got" MC Paul Barman, either. "He boasts too much, and on a rap record that is a NO-NO." And where the fuck did that 'probable furry Phofo' stuff come from? Not to mention the ugh-tastic "I could go on for TEN MORE PAGES about how bad this record is" cliche...

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Saturday, 30 November 2002 15:56 (twenty-three years ago)

Could someone explain to me why so many people hate Pitchfork? I thought their Audioslave review was spot on.

― Callum (Callum), Sunday, 1 December 2002 12:39 (twenty-three years ago)

1) Read their review of Daft Punk's Discovery.
2) Read their review of Basement Jaxx's Rooty.
3) Read their review of Sonic Youth's NYC Ghosts and Flowers.

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Sunday, 1 December 2002 16:17 (twenty-three years ago)

4)Start a thread about how much they suck and watch their readership increase

― chaki (chaki), Sunday, 1 December 2002 16:33 (twenty-three years ago)

5) Read any review except for the Tool one (which was funny in spots) by Brent DiI'm-an-Asshole-censiOrhoweveryouspellhisfuckingname

― Vik, Sunday, 1 December 2002 16:47 (twenty-three years ago)

"Maggie, can you point to the credenza?"

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Sunday, 1 December 2002 17:06 (twenty-three years ago)

"And it only took TWO writers (-Chris Dahlen & Ryan Schreiber, November 26th, 2002) to come up withat dat one|!!"

Sure, but you're not quoting the line before it, which I thought was pretty funny (and substantive).

― Chris Dahlen (Chris Dahlen), Monday, 2 December 2002 01:32 (twenty-three years ago)

But seriously:

I know this may turn into another 'Fork bash thread, but I would be interested in hearing people's thoughts about the validity of this specific approach: making fun of an album while bashing it, for the "entertainment" of the readers, instead of taking a more studious and respectful approach. Naturally we all want to look like we're taking this very seriously when we administer harsh criticism, and also, writing this way may suggest that we went in assuming we'd bash the album - that we may have even written the review before we even heard it. On the other hand, it may be more interesting than 1,000 words on every detail of why this is a terrible album.

Just thought that's an interesting issue.

― Chris Dahlen (Chris Dahlen), Monday, 2 December 2002 02:11 (twenty-three years ago)

Bashing is alright if the jokes are genuinely funny, told well, evocative and the writer makes me understand why the band deserves 'em (or, failing that, if the writer is entertainingly pissy). The problem I have with Pitchfork is that if I see a major label album on the front I know it's either gonna get a big 9.1 to 10.0 tongue up the ass or Ryan (and sometimes with a buddy! though this article is still in the singular voice!) has found another album he's not worried about losing cred by dissing. And Ryan ain't very good at either the buttlicks or the beatdowns. But neither was Jann S. Wenner.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 2 December 2002 02:31 (twenty-three years ago)

oh, and the volleyball/Creed dillwaddle was like 3rd rate Buddyhead. You have to be pretty ignorant about modern rock to think Creed is a "volleyball band." (they suck, but they ain't THAT kinda suck). And while there's nothing wrong with not being able to talk intelligently about those groups, you should shut the fuck up about 'em then.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 2 December 2002 02:35 (twenty-three years ago)

Omigod, is "volleyball band" some sort of meaningful referential parlance?

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 2 December 2002 03:30 (twenty-three years ago)

well, they mean dumb party band more than Creed moaning about how their six feet from the edge. That's fear-of-the-diving-board rock.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 2 December 2002 03:42 (twenty-three years ago)

I just thought maybe Creed likes to play volleyball. Like, if they go to the beach.

― Chris Dahlen (Chris Dahlen), Monday, 2 December 2002 04:20 (twenty-three years ago)

it is amazing that a record label would allow a band to have such a horrible name

― ron (ron), Monday, 2 December 2002 04:29 (twenty-three years ago)

I liked the review. I mean it really did give a sense of precisely what the writers found so offensive about the album. Use of "I" with two names on the byline is odd though.

The lead stuff on "what has gen-x given the world" and soforth was treacly bombast like dennis-miller lite "rant" stuff, but the review really did kick in and christ I really doubt I could find some favorable interpretation for "I am a virus".

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Monday, 2 December 2002 06:55 (twenty-three years ago)

ron, they let the beatles keep their name as well.

― nathalie (nathalie), Monday, 2 December 2002 08:25 (twenty-three years ago)

two weeks pass...

Bump.

When did Chris Cornell become Brian Johnson (AC/DC)?

― Aaron W, Thursday, 19 December 2002 15:36 (twenty-three years ago)

well, instead of talking about this or that review,
HOW IS THE FUCKING ALBUM???????
the single kind of rocks, and the fireworks is nice.

― Jay K (Jay K), Thursday, 19 December 2002 16:20 (twenty-three years ago)

I think the fireworks are kinda weak, actually. And what's with Brad and Tim's insistance on never wearing shirts (okay, by this time, who doesn't know about their tattoos?) Great track otherwise.

Incidentally, we started this thread earlier:

Audioslave : Classic or Dud?

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 19 December 2002 17:19 (twenty-three years ago)

My bad Alex. In my attempt to not start yet another thread, I bumped the more recent one.

But I still want to know what's up with Chris Cornell sounding like Brian Johnson?

― Aaron W, Thursday, 19 December 2002 18:16 (twenty-three years ago)

(I think their review of Discovery is dead-on)

― Curtis Stephens, Thursday, 19 December 2002 19:56 (twenty-three years ago)

I like to pronounce it as "Audioslavé."

― Amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 19 December 2002 20:09 (twenty-three years ago)

Even better would be for them to don moustaches, and call themselves Audioslavs.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 19 December 2002 20:14 (twenty-three years ago)

My friend Ben heard Cochise on the radio and actually wondered if Rod Stewart had decided to give hard rock a try (or another try, depending on your opinion). And when he saw the video Cornell was under enough shadows that he STILL thought this might be Rod Stewart.

So the moral is that RATM AND ROD STEWART SERIOUSLY NEED TO HOOK UP! NOW!

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 20 December 2002 00:22 (twenty-three years ago)

Chris's hair has gone decidedly Rod Stewartesque, now that you mention it.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 20 December 2002 00:36 (twenty-three years ago)

two months pass...

Er, I've heard "Like a Stone" a few times this week and I have a soft spot for it, even the awful guitar solo (is that an ebow?).

But more important: doesn't Chris Cornell sound an awful lot like Rufus Wainwright. Especially on the chorus, the timbre of his voice, the slurring, the lazy drawl--it's the same person really.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 08:42 (twenty-three years ago)

" doesn't Chris Cornell sound an awful lot like Rufus Wainwright "

doesn't he sound much more like David Coverdale?

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 13:35 (twenty-three years ago)

What a stanky collection of hell it sounds like.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 13:52 (twenty-three years ago)

I meant to write, "Especially on the bridge..."

― Amateurist (amateurist), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 14:28 (twenty-three years ago)

I'd like Cornell's singing a lot more if he wore the vice outside the crotch of his pants rather than in them.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 26 February 2003 17:31 (twenty-three years ago)

two years pass...

I've heard the album more than once and can't remember how any of the songs go...

― Don't Ever Antagonize The Horny (AaronHz), Thursday, 10 March 2005 19:39 (twenty-one years ago)

There's a riff. Then, a sound.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 10 March 2005 19:42 (twenty-one years ago)

BEST BAND EVER

― latebloomer: damn cheapskate satanists (latebloomer), Friday, 11 March 2005 01:49 (twenty-one years ago)

i dont mean that sincerely

― latebloomer: damn cheapskate satanists (latebloomer), Friday, 11 March 2005 01:58 (twenty-one years ago)

YES YOU DID YOU HAVE AN AUDIOSLAVE TATTOO JUST ADMIT IT

― Don't Ever Antagonize The Horny (AaronHz), Friday, 11 March 2005 02:00 (twenty-one years ago)

under my left thigh, just above the knee

― latebloomer: damn cheapskate satanists (latebloomer), Friday, 11 March 2005 02:03 (twenty-one years ago)

it looks like a birthmark, but believe me, it's actually Chris Cornells face!

― latebloomer: damn cheapskate satanists (latebloomer), Friday, 11 March 2005 02:08 (twenty-one years ago)

"Cochise" sounds like a broke dick led zep

― Don't Ever Antagonize The Horny (AaronHz), Friday, 11 March 2005 02:11 (twenty-one years ago)

TEH SONG REMAINS TEH LAME

― latebloomer: damn cheapskate satanists (latebloomer), Friday, 11 March 2005 02:14 (twenty-one years ago)

There's a riff. Then, a sound.
-- Ned Raggett

I misread that as "There's a riff. Then, a second" which is just untrue.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Friday, 11 March 2005 02:15 (twenty-one years ago)

"Show Me How To Live".....more like "Show Me How To Write A Hook"

― Don't Ever Antagonize The Horny (AaronHz), Friday, 11 March 2005 02:17 (twenty-one years ago)

faaaaaaaaaced

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Friday, 11 March 2005 02:17 (twenty-one years ago)

ok I JUST LISTENED TO "GASOLINE", JUST NOW and don't remember anything about it. That's usually not a good sign.

― Don't Ever Antagonize The Horny (AaronHz), Friday, 11 March 2005 02:23 (twenty-one years ago)

I misread that as "There's a riff. Then, a second" which is just untrue.

See, this is why reading comprehension is a valuable skill.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 11 March 2005 02:24 (twenty-one years ago)

"What You Are" sounds like a broke dick Nirvana until the guitar break when it suddenly sounds like a broke dick Chili Peppers.

This thing really is just a bad composite of 90s rock.

― Don't Ever Antagonize The Horny (AaronHz), Friday, 11 March 2005 02:26 (twenty-one years ago)

"Like A Stone" still sounds like the best track....or the least smelly fart.

― Don't Ever Antagonize The Horny (AaronHz), Friday, 11 March 2005 02:31 (twenty-one years ago)

"Set it off" had some cool noises in the beginning before going into total generic RATM riff mode.

― Don't Ever Antagonize The Horny (AaronHz), Friday, 11 March 2005 02:36 (twenty-one years ago)

"Shadow on the Sun" was sucky and boring
"I Am the highway" might have been a decent song with a different (more country?) vocalist
"Exploder" had some cool noises in the guitar break (which is really the most that can be said for a lot of this CD)
"Hypnotize" is a decent groove with lots of cool noises, maybe second best track after "like a stone".

― Don't Ever Antagonize The Horny (AaronHz), Friday, 11 March 2005 02:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Though the actual song is not much truck "Bring Em Back Alive" has the coolest guitar solo I've heard this century, it's like a defective police siren sound.

― Don't Ever Antagonize The Horny (AaronHz), Friday, 11 March 2005 03:02 (twenty-one years ago)

I liked this album.

― edward o (edwardo), Friday, 11 March 2005 03:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, isn't that special. [/churchlady]

"Light My Way" has a really retarded wah wah riff that was somehow supposed to be made interesting by putting some twinkley synths over it.

"Getaway Car" another slow boring track of Cornell thinking he's a better singer than he actually is.

"The Last Remaining Thing" same thing but slightly less boring.

― Don't Ever Antagonize The Horny (AaronHz), Friday, 11 March 2005 03:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Back into the "burn and trade" box with you, Mr. Slave!

― Don't Ever Antagonize The Horny (AaronHz), Friday, 11 March 2005 03:15 (twenty-one years ago)

It's not that bad. Not that I would buy it or anything.

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 11 March 2005 15:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Let me say for the 9,000th time that Chris Cornell should be replaced by Rod Stewart. I seriously wonder if I'd be a huge Audioslave fan if they had a different singer/lyricist. I know he's the only bad thing about "Like A Stone" (love the solo, love it!).

― miccio (miccio), Friday, 11 March 2005 15:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Chris Cornell should be replaced by Carrot Top. He wouldn't sing or anything, just do his act onstage while the band lays down phat grooves behind him.

― Don't Ever Antagonize The Horny (AaronHz), Friday, 11 March 2005 16:18 (twenty-one years ago)

-- miccio (anthonyisrigh...), March 11th, 2005.

y'know, those other 3 guys used to be in a band with a different singer...

― Al (sitcom), Friday, 11 March 2005 16:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't know if I'd call Zack a "singer".

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 11 March 2005 16:54 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah the band's turn towards the melodic was something I was all for. If only they hadn't grabbed of my least favorite singers of the last 25 years.

― miccio (miccio), Friday, 11 March 2005 18:10 (twenty-one years ago)

two weeks pass...

Their new single "Be Yourself" is HORRIBLE!! I heard it on AAA yesterday. Bah

― buck van smack (Buck Van Smack), Saturday, 26 March 2005 15:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I think it's better than any of the singles off the first album! that's not saying much at all, though.

― Al (sitcom), Saturday, 26 March 2005 16:00 (twenty-one years ago)

I just can't get past how bad the chorus is..."be yourself is all that you can do" - repeated.

― buck van smack (Buck Van Smack), Saturday, 26 March 2005 16:08 (twenty-one years ago)

well yeah the lyrics are ass but it's a slightly better hook than any of the previous dirges.

Audioslave kinda bums me out because I thought Soundgarden (and Temple of the Dog!) had moments of greatness and it's a shame Chris Cornell seems to have lost his ability to write a decent tune (and that his new band doesn't have the right bombast for his voice or know how to play in anything other than 4/4).

― Al (sitcom), Saturday, 26 March 2005 16:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Soundgarden and TOTD were great. I wasn't a big fan of his solo album though. And sometimes I wonder if Chris has lost his ability to sing as well. Rubin did wonders with the vocals on last album.

― buck van smack (Buck Van Smack), Saturday, 26 March 2005 16:15 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah his solo album was the beginning of the boringness (which was definitely a bummer because the last Soundgarden album was all weird and awesome), and his voice is definitely dying.

― Al (sitcom), Saturday, 26 March 2005 16:17 (twenty-one years ago)

one month passes...

Audioslave -- bringing American rock to Cuba! (I like the fact that BushCo has signed off on most of RATM playing Cuba.)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 8 May 2005 06:23 (twenty-one years ago)

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