Can a relationship sustain two music obsessives?

I said in another thread that I think it would be cool to date/marry someone with totally different tastes in music so they could introduce me to different stuff. And our combined record collection would cover lots of ground.

I'm inclined to say 'no.' For a start, it simply gets weird and almost competitive. The women I dated (when I was single) who were as into music as I was (or approached the fanaticism that I suffer under) I tended to argue with more than the women I dated who simply didn't give as much of a fuck about it (probably the healthier perspective). My wife now is as passionate about literature as I am about music, and these two interests balance each other nicely, as both of us are eager to learn what they other can bring to the table. While I was always a reader, my wife has thrown many a book my way that has significantly expanded my horizons (by authors I would've never heard of or wouldn't have gone near in the past). Simillarly, while my lovely British wife was raised on a steady diet of great music (having grown up in London), she's never sought it out as enthusiastically as I, but is always curious to learn more, which makes for a nice trade-off.

Like the equation Nairn describes above, my wife's musical tastes intertwine with mine at several points (she's basically a child of 80's New Romanticism and vintage synth-pop, but picks little bits and pieces from various genres....when I stumbled upon the 7" of Killing Joke's "Love Like Blood" in her collection, I knew we were destined to wed, despite the fact that it's the only song of theirs she has any time for). That said, she also loves several artists/bands that I absolutely abhore (Van Morrison, Bob Dylan, the Waterboys and JJ Cale spring immediately to mind). Likewise, she's none to fond of the constant airings of Cop Shoot Cop, Stooges, Nick Cave, and Misfits that occur when I'm at the stereo. But, there's always balance and consideration. She usually waits `till I'm out of the house before she breaks out the Van Morrison and I generally wait until she's off to work before the daily Killing Joke rock block commences.

I think it's a moderation thang.

I'd hate it if my wife had NO interest in music. But as with Alex, it's kind of cool she's mainly into a *different* sort of art. (In my case she's a painter.) So her obsession goes into visual stuff.

That's great because she understands being serious about art, but we don't have clashes about it.

And she's introduced me to great romantic music too ...

i only like people that like music as much as i like music, that's never why i like em tho, it just always turns out to be the case.

I find I prefer people who like music but don't consider themselves someone who likes music. Thus they become a sponge for a particular type of stuff that I might be buying and when I find out what they like I can go "oh you must hear this".

Yes

coming to mind: Linda Sharrock's words, from an old Ver Vire interview -- words to the effect that her and Sonny's relations-ship started to shvire'n'shake at the time their individual courses in music were beginning to diverge

I think it depends how much else you have to talk about, how much you'll NEED to talk about music. You definitely need common interests, so if all you talk about is music you BETTER find someone similar. My girlfriend doesn't care about music nearly as much as me, but if she didn't find it all interesting or have her own opinions, I'd probably be intolerable.

It's not a matter of it being my only interest, the only thing I talk about, etc., but I need someone who will understand when I need (okay, "want") to go out to a show, jazz/noise/techno/rock/whatever, why it's important to me on various levels, that kind of thing.

I definitely think it would be really cool to find someone who has different things in their record collection. Cuts down on my expenses when I decide I have to check out a particular band/musician/genre!

I've decided a passion for the arts, be it music, theater, fine art, literature, or whatever is pretty much a must. Wish me luck!

I think a smart cookie will understand the way you love music if they really know and love you.

One of the reasons I don't date much is I am indeed looking for someone with characteristics x, y, z, etc., and also is really into music. Not even the same stuff as me, but he would have to be passionate. I knew I was destined to wed J*ff L*e when the first thing he did when he came over to my place the first time we met was look to see if I had any Blondie albums (naturally I have them all). Then his body was taken over by the pod people and he broke up with me.