Best Ween Lyrics???

personal favorite is from "freedom of '76" -- "Mannequin was filmed at Woolworth's/Boyz 2 Men still keepin' up the beat." the greatest song about Philadelphia ever.

i think thats a pretty good lyric

Tell me where you come from, was it heaven above?
Oh my dear, I must be falling in love
Can you climb the sunny peaks of a fortress in mud?
Oh my dear, I must be falling in love
Did I tell you I want more than you're really made of?
Oh my dear, I must be falling in love
Can you scope a purple blunder and admit that you are young?
Oh my dear, I must be falling in love

I'll also second "Nan." I found these lyrics online for the ol' cut and paste, but it doesn't include the priceless spoken bits, like what nabisco was saying above.. they also aren't as awesome written down, but on the record they're amazing...

"what's your big secret?
could u give me a clue?
oh silly girl
i'm so in love with u

wontcha tell me what's on your mind
if u opened your head
tell me what would u find

are u 4 real?
what do you feel?

finders keepers
losers weepers
if i could get the lid off
i'd look inside the jar
is this the best i can do?
it ain't done me no good so far

mind over matter
but it seems i don't matter at all
nan - a party of one
do u think i could be invited to come?"

"First we'll take a bath
Then I'll get my towel, baby
I'll wrap you up - I'm gonna wrap you up in my towel, baby
You know what I'm gonna do then
I just wanna say - you know baby, I could give a great massage
(fake female voice) Oh, you can, Gener?
I say, yeah baby, I give you a massage like, like thirteen kings
(fake female voice) Oh, Gener!
I say, what you got between your legs, baby?
(fake female voice) What does that have to do with a massage, baby?
You know, you know what I really want...it's your pussy baby
I wanna lick your pussy baby
Yeah, you know what I'm saying
You know what I'm saying
You got me going baby
Oh, you got me going like I never thought I'd go before
Shit baby! Come here! Let me lick your pussy!
Let me lick your pussy, baby
Let me lick your pussy! "

Look out you son of a bitch
Goddamn motherfucker
Do you know who you're fucking with?

You're fucking with the stallion, mang.
You're fucking with the goddamn, mang.
You're fucking with the stallion, mang.

Goddamn piece of shit.
On my dick you should sit.
Do you know who you're fucking with?

Prancing stallion. Oh ho handsome. Prancing on the grass.

I'm the fucking stallion, mang.
The stallion.
I'm the fucking stallion, mang.
The stallion.
I am the stallion, mang.
You get it?
I am the stallion, mang.
You get it?

You see the damn stallion, mang? (???)

You goddamn son of a bitch.
You fucking piece of shit.

*(I'm really unsure about this part)

Goddamn son of a bitch.
Goddamn piece of shit.

Now it's clear, I can see the stallion.
Yes, I too can struggle with the stallion.

I said please calm it down
Everything is turning brown

Mutilated lips give a kiss on the wrist
Of the worm like tips of tentacles expanding
In my mind, I'm fine, accepting only fresh brine
You can get another drop of this, yeah you wish...
[repeat]

Laughing lady living lover
Ooo you sassy frassy lassie
Find me the skull of Haile Sellase, I...
Give me shoes so I can tapsy
Tap all over this big world
Take my hand you ugly girl

[chorus]

...I do love that chorus.

AIDS

*dunt duh doo dah doo duh dah duh dahduh daduuuh dunt duh doo dah duh doo dah dunt doo dah*

HIV

(Ok, so someone got to "You Fucked Up" before me. Whatever. This one's good too.)

Ice Castles is an Instrumental.

It's a nine mile walk from the office to the pumps
Sometimes you think you're gonna drop
In the end you're filthy dirty, horny, and pissed off
And before you can leave you gotta sweep the fuckin' shop

It's a real real bitch to be workin' for the man
But shit, I do it well, so what the fuck
I could probably wash dishes at some other fuckin' dump
But it's all the same to me, bustin' ass to make a buck

So read 'em up and stick 'em
Pump that fucker good
Some woman down on Main Street needs a jump
Get your fingers outta your ass
And pump some faggot's gas
And think about how bad New Hope sucks

And it's a piss poor life when the ladies fire you up
And then you check their oil and know you're fucked
'Cause no one wants a loser who works for 5 an hour
Smells like gas, looks like shit, works in the rain and rude as hell

Now I can fix a tire like Hurricane Melinda
I know that I'm the best for what it's worth
So if I choose to help you don't look like you expect it
'Cause it's a gift that God gave me at birth

So read 'em up and stick 'em
Pump that fucker good
Some woman down on Main Street needs a jump
Get your fingers outta your ass
And pump some faggot's gas
And think about how bad New Hope sucks, woohoo!

I love how it's all frantic and ridiculous and totally rocktacular and then goes right from that into "Sarah", one of the most mellow and gorgeous (and not retarded) songs they've ever done.

I have a hard time imagining any band but Ween with lyrics like those -- God Love e'm.

and

"...with poison interlaced with the meat."

Both from "Buenos Tardes Amigo."

I still stand by blarney stone, even though they go tthe new album dropping now.

"Like a Japanese cowboy/like a brother in skates..."

This one is clearly the best Ween lyric ever.

Ocean man, can you see through the wonder of amazement
at the oberman
Ocean man, the crust is elusive when it casts forth
to the childlike man
Ocean man, the crust of a tan man embibed by the sand
soaking up the thirst of the land

Ocean man...

"Mutilated lips give a kiss on the wrist
of the worm like tips of tentacles expanding
in my mind, I'm fine, accepting only fresh brine
you can get another drop of this, yeah you wish..."

This is the most touching of Ween's songs to me. It's great that in the midst of all that inanity they weren't afraid to be sincere once in a while (unlike, say, Phish). I got to give it up for "Baby Bitch" too and pretty much all of Chocolate and Cheese- "Voodoo Lady", "Take Me Away", "Don't Shit Where You Eat". Unforunately, this was pretty much the last Ween album I got into. I wasn't havin it when they totally gave up on writing innovative music and just went for a parody of Country & Western instead. And "The Blarney Stone" really turns me off because of the cliched macho stance, which although tongue-in-cheek, still the delivery lacks the whimsy that endears them to me.

This is the most touching of Ween's songs to me. It's great that in the midst of all that inanity they weren't afraid to be sincere once in a while (unlike, say, Phish). I got to give it up for "Baby Bitch" too and pretty much all of Chocolate and Cheese- "Voodoo Lady", "Take Me Away", "Don't Shit Where You Eat". Unforunately, this was pretty much the last Ween album I got into. I wasn't havin it when they totally gave up on writing innovative music and just went for a parody of Country & Western instead. And "The Blarney Stone" really turns me off because of the cliched macho stance, which although tongue-in-cheek, still the delivery lacks the whimsy that endears them to me. Great thread!

"ernest hemmingway will always be there for me,
but now ernest hemmingway is dead"

please explain this line in the context of the rest of the lyrics of "don't laugh ( i love you)".

...which are:

And when the sun, it turns to snow
And the grass doesn't grow
Don't laugh, i love you
I could look outside my window every day
But you wouldn't be there to there come and play
Don't laugh, i love you

Ernest hemingway (ernest hemingway)
Would always be there for me (would always be there for me)
But now (ernest hemingway) ernest hemingway is dead (is dead now)

If i could get you back someday
Don't you say you're going away
Don't laugh, i love you
And if you locked me in the sun
To the tinkle i would run
Don't laugh, i love you

Got an awesome sound goin' down [3x]
Got a pork roll egg cheese and bacon

Stop the tape here

Got an awesome sound goin' down [2x]
Got some, got some awesome sounds goin' down

Alright. Lay it on me!

Awesome sound goin' down
Got an awesome sound goin' down [2x]
Got a pork roll egg cheese and bacon

Oh. Oh yeah. Baby. Hit me again! Stop it
Hit me again! Oh yeah. Hit me again! Stop it. Hit me again!
Oh! Oh! Hit me again! Hit me again! Oh!

Got an awesome sound, it's goin' down
Got this awesome sound, it's really goin' down
Got this really fuckin' awesome sound

Hit me! Hit me! Hit me again! Oh! Oh! Hit me!
One more time!

Oh, awesome sound goin' down
Awesome sound goin' down
One more time! Hit me! Oh stop it! Hit me!

uh you can piss up a rope
and feel the pissy dribble
you can piss up a rope
and watch me giggle
for the last 6 months
i been packin' your bag
you can wash my balls
with a warm, wet rag
till my balls feel smooth
and soft like silk
i'm sick of your mouth
and your 2 percent milk
and i'm no dope
but i've lost all hope
so hit the fuckin' road and
piss up a rope

Not a paid up fan of these guys but 'Your Party' off the new one is straight up killing me here

what is "carne asada?"

http://www.beefretail.org/deImagesBR/SteaksForGrilling/Grill_03.JPG

My wife and I thank you very much.

Technically not written by a member of Ween, but the lyrics of Moistboyz "OG Simpson" are A+

Ocean and land
Ocean is land covered with water
I can tell you, in my answer
If you listen, man and woman
Ocean is land covered with water

Tuesday
Is pizza day
Pizza Day!

Mister Would You Please Help My Pony was never funny, I don't see anything that indicates it was supposed to BE funny. It's a tragic song performed in a deeply disturbing manner. Any laughter that comes from it is strictly our horrified attempt to cope with it. Classic!

the title is funny but the song itself is not. nor is it supposed to be. ditto for Spinal Meningitis, the only Ween song that's so dark and depressing that I never want to listen to it

There were beverages laid out for the party
There were candy and spices and tricolored pastas
The meat carved was drawn from succulent juices
Served on platters of the purest gold

^ that's for sure near the top for me

i have a love/hate relationship with "in my mind, i'm fine, accepting only fresh brine" from mutilated lips -- it pops into my head constantly. i definitely think it's very stupid, but i'm fond of it at the same time

closest thing Ween has to a memorable rap banality perhaps

Don’t crest the weasel

My wife, who likes some Ween songs but has a normal, limited appreciation for their junior high mentality, regularly sings “cold and wet” in the winter.

The entire lyric of "Fluffy".

"Help Me Scrape the Mucus Off My Brain" is for sure one of the best hangover tunes

He would step out of the night
And light a fire among his tribe
Carving from a bear's tooth
He used the flesh to feed the youth
He'd salt it down

Sails were made from darkened hide
Fish were caught in the lowest tide
Thought of war kept him strong
He listened for the battle song,
in the night

And the old would teach the young
To heed the word of the master's tongue
A chosen son would take a bride
And light the fire among his tribe
And on and on

Pretty much love all of the first 4 albums. Always thought Daisies had some of the best lines, delivered with such earnest zeal:

When you lie,
kiss your baby bye bye bye
And if you're true,
the whole wide world will laugh with you

Happier than shit,
things that might go click with me
click with you,
Is that love? Is that love?

And I'm holdin' something more
Precious than fine ore
Baby, I'm holdin' you

I've recently moved to a place with a million Bánh mì joints and "Frank, give me a pork roll egg and cheese if you please with some gravy fries" enters the noggin' frequently as I sink into a greasy mega-weedge