Attack of the Schlocky Monster, Take 2

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed
Here's the second attempt at this thread, the first had since been eaten.

I'll define my terms first


  • Schlock: n. [Yid. schlacke==dregs] anything cheap or inferior. Fake and poorly executed trash without even the campy "so-bad-its-good" tang to make it interesting. Example: Branson Missouri "country lounge" acts or Pat Boones Metal Album. (Or Pat Boone's entire career, if you want to be broad.)
  • Schmaltz: n. [Yid schmalz==rendered chicken fat] highly sentimental, banal. Gag-inducing crocodile-tear drenched piffle. Example: Most 70s AM rock, or better yet Bette Midlers "Wind Beneath My Wings.

First off:
Question #1) What is the Schlockiest album you've ever heard?
Question #2) What is the Schmaltziest album you've ever heard?
Question #3) Is what Celine Dion and Michael Bolton do fall more into the Schlock or Schmaltz camp? I say Schlock for Bolton and Schmaltz for Dion. Agree/Disagree?

Okay schould this thread schtop now before it devolves into a big pile of schit?

Lord Custos Omega (Lord Custos Omega), Saturday, 28 December 2002 22:13 (twenty-three years ago)

Such a fine distinction between schlock and schmaltz, and many records that fit comfortably into both categories! This is true crossover music, and so often overlooked.

A couple favorites that fit both categories:

Bo Donaldson & the Heywoods: Billy, Don't be a Hero - cheesy organ music in the background, then the tragic story unfolds. Try to stay awake, if you can do it without throwing up.

Steve Miller Band: Take the Money and Run - aside from a really bad melody, it includes such immortal lyrics as "Billy Mack was a detective down in Texas. You know he knows exactly what the facts is"

A fine example of schmaltz is Mariah Carey's entire catalogue.

For schlock, you can't beat Phantom of the Paradise. Plenty of schmaltz in there, too.

As for the Michael Bolton/Celine Dion debate, I have to agree that MB is schlock and CD would be schmaltz.

Well. I have to get some actual work done, but I appreciate the diversion.

-Ja9M


Janine Mai, Monday, 30 December 2002 19:14 (twenty-three years ago)

Phantom of the Paradise may have been "fake" (whatever that means), but it definately wasn't "poorly executed".

Sean (Sean), Monday, 30 December 2002 19:39 (twenty-three years ago)

Ick. It shoulda beem just plain executed.

Lord Custos Omega (Lord Custos Omega), Monday, 30 December 2002 19:40 (twenty-three years ago)


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.